Tag: Pain

Endurance

Today’s a new day! For the past twenty -three years, chronic illness and pain have been a close and unwanted companion to me. This unwanted intruder is always trying to destroy my life.

Chronic illness and pain is a powerful thing, continuously trying to snatch my peace, happiness and positive attitude like a thief in the night. As I write this, with pain shooting throughout my body and my soul weary within me, I consider the great truths of 2 Corinthians (take time to read it for yourself). Someday, despite my greatest efforts to hold on to hope and strength, my soul and spirit grow weary in fighting through the physical pain I endure on a daily basis. I often find myself being led to a prayer of brokenness in these moments. “Oh Lord, what good am I to you in this place? How much more could I offer you if I were healthy, energized, and strong! Lord, what is the point of this pain?”

The truth is that physical or emotional pain, especially when it is chronic, has a way of stripping away the masks we tend to wear, leaving our hearts exposed and our self-sufficient ways of life threatened. It clears away the sea of fog filled with empty distractions and suddenly makes us face the question: Is it worth following Jesus when this is what life will be like?

Pain is never easy or pleasant, but nothing can compare to the pain of eternity without God. And so my pain today is a small glimpse of what I have been saved from. How much more can we grasp the beautiful and glorious promise of eternity with our Savior, free from pain, worries, health issues and the distractions of this world. The beautiful God inspired truths we find in the Bible give us a reason to push through the storms, a purpose to live out and a sense of hope to endure the rough seas of this life.

I spend many sleepless nights looking to the One who understands everything we walk through in our daily journey. I don’t know about you, but there is a tendency to turn inward during this crazy beautiful health journey. Sometimes, I think no one can possibly understand the suffering I endure each day of my life. But there is someone who understands—who has been through everything I am going through, and everything I will go through, and far, far more—Jesus.

A question I have for each of us. If we truly believe God always keeps his promises and will never forsake us, why do we often go to Him last? The truth is that no one can fully understand our pain in the way our Savior can, the only One who knows us intimately and has walked this hard road before us. We are not left to endure the pain of this life in loneliness and our own strength. Rather, we serve a God who bears the physical scars of His love for us and sympathizes with us as one who has lived as a human being and suffered more than you or I will ever know.

God longs to fill the broken pieces of our lives, often left by suffering, with the hope of the gospel and the healing power of His presence. One thought about our afflictions can never be true—that no one understands them. We have a God with nail scared hands walking with us through this journey. We have the privilege to speak to a God whose time on earth was accompanied by the afflictions of poverty, of disappointment, of betrayal, of mockery, a terrible beating and death. Jesus offers us mercy and grace in our time of need. So cry out to Him! God does not leave us to fend for ourselves. I am so thankful for those promises. When we have nothing left and are struggling to put one foot in front of another, we can cry out to Jesus, who not only understands but strengthens us when we are weak, equips us when we are weary, and brings beauty out of our brokenness. I am thankful that we have a hope beyond our pain because of the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.

We have a Choice:

As I write this post, I am allowing God’s word to speak truth to my own soul just as much as to yours. Though there are times when pain can seem almost unbearable, we have a hope that much of the suffering world does not know. While we naturally desire the healing of our bodies or our minds, Jesus desires the healing of our soul above all. And we will either allow the period of pain to bring us closer to Jesus or to pull us away from Him. Be aware that the storms of life can cause us to turn away from Jesus, in crippling bitterness or toward futile self-reliance, or it can cause us to turn to Jesus, trusting that He knows, cares, helps, and will one day bring us to a world where faith will become sight and pain will be no more.

So let’s cry out to Him in our pain and discomfort. Although we are afflicted in every way, we will not be crushed because of the grace of Jesus Christ that is poured out to us. He will only allow what will be used for His good and loving purposes in our lives and if He has chosen to allow us to endure some form of pain or affliction, we can find strength in the promise that He will only allow for an allotted time what He intends to use for our good and his glory.

Don’t give up or give way to despair, for there is a glorious treasure to be found when the pain of this world drives us to Jesus, and it is of far greater worth than any earthly relief. Yes, pain and affliction are real in this world. Jesus knows that. But what could crush us as we struggle on in faith, might be the means of God reshaping and revealing His purpose for our lives.

Health issues will be my close companion, it would seem, until Jesus calls me home. But when the pain and suffering tries to drive me to despair, I have a God who understands, and who helps, and who will use this health journey to mold me into His likeness. This crazy beautiful health journey will not defeat me, for God is greater than anything this world throws at me. Lean into that truth and promise today. ~OC

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Come Together

Today’s a new day! Finding humor during the hard moments in life is important, but we must remember how some things that might be just a minor inconvenience for the wealthy, able bodied or younger person can be devastating for the poor, disabled and elderly. Let’s spend a little looking out for each other as we continue to live in these uncertain times. ~OC

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The Life of Job

Today’s a new day! I couldn’t sleep last night and as I was studying God’s word, He directed me to the Book of Job in the Bible. As I was studying, several thoughts came to my mind. As Job was experiencing the toughest days of his life, he had no idea there was a conversation between God and Satan happening in the heavens above. But that conversation between the King of Kings and the Prince of Darkness decided what ended up happening to Job on earth. And let me tell you, it wasn’t good. The storms of life hit Job smack in the face.

Can you imagine walking in Job’s shoes for even an hour? He lost everything — his cattle, his flocks, his finances, and worst of all, his whole family except for his wife. And it all happened so quickly. Oh, and his friends were not very encouraging.

Yet, despite all the turmoil unfolding right in front of him, what did Job do? He got up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. And then, he fell to the ground and worshiped. Worshipped! Really?

Job’s reaction might seem a little crazy to some of us. How could he still worship God after everything that had just happened to him? But that’s exactly what Job did. That is why we can find such truth and encouragement from the Book of Job.

As mentioned above, Job got up, tore his robe, and shaved his head; then he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:20-21).

Despite his faith being put to the ultimate test, Job passed with flying colors. If the devil had been right in his assessment of Job, it would have meant that the devil was greater or equal to God. But Job didn’t waver. No, he wasn’t a hypocrite, and he didn’t follow the king of hypocrites.

So, here’s a question for each of us as we walk into this new week. If we were ever placed in Job’s shoes, would we react the same way? Would we still worship God in the midst of unimaginable pain and loss? It’s not an easy question to answer, but it’s worth considering. Job’s story shows us that it’s possible to have a soul that’s well, even in the midst of tragedy. And that’s something we can all strive for as we walk out our own life journey. ~OC

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Still Standing and Thankful

Today’s a new day! I don’t like being in pain and I don’t like having multiple health issues that will probably shorten my life. I would love to grow old with my bride. But I realize that may not be the plans God has for my life. But I know and I trust that He is faithful. God’s plans are the best and do not revolve around me. Acts 13:36 says, “when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep”. When God has done what he wants through me, I will step into heaven in his perfect timing.

Why has God allowed me to walk this health journey? Maybe it is to help me be a better husband and friend. Maybe it’s an opportunity to share the love of Jesus with more people. Maybe it’s for reasons way beyond my understanding. All I know is that God has given me this gift of health issues to use for his glory. All I know is that I will continue to trust and serve him.

Sometimes it is still hard to comprehend that my life could end at any moment. But isn’t that the case for all of us? As the Bible teaches,

All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of the Lord stands forever. (1 Peter 1:24)

When I received my first diagnosis in August 2002, it was a total shock. I knew I didn’t feel great, but I had no idea how I was so sick. My life at that time involved being a husband, a social worker and volunteer at multiple ministries.

Back then, some doctors shared I might only have five years to live. However, God had other ideas and even though my health journey has been full of twist and turns and multiple life threatening illnesses, I am still standing. Some days my life has felt like a ticking time bomb. My bride has become an expert in dealing with multiple infections,various types of devices being surgically implanted into my body and various treatments to just keep me alive.

As the multiple health issues continue to weaken my body, I am thankfully aware that Jesus is my Lord and Savior in whom I can depend, and that all other ground is sinking sand. I am so grateful to God for everything. I am thankful for who God is, his majesty, his splendour, and his promises. I am thankful for my bride, family, friends and life. I am so thankful to God for the resurrection of Jesus which means I will have victory over death and do not need to fear what my future holds. It is such a comfort to read,

“Death has been swallowed up in victory”
  “Where, O death, is your victory?
  Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God. He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:54-56)

As my body grows weaker, I am thankful God continues to allow me to truly embrace life. To continue making beautiful memories with my bride. Some dear friends even bought me an electric trike to get around town. Watch out world! I will enjoy the new bike in between my many naps. After years of not being able to sleep, most of my days now involve sleeping most of the day.

What can be hard is coping with chronic pain and deteriorating health while still navigating the physical and emotional challenges of trying to live a “normal life.” Another challenge is not knowing what each day might bring. It is impossible to make plans. Between multiple medical appointments and hospitalizations, it can be difficult to make any plans.

However, I am just so thankful for God’s guidance through his word. The Bible is so clear about what God wants me to do now, even as I grow weaker: “Be joyful always; pray continuously; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess 5:16). God is so clear. This is what God wants me to do now. I am thankful he continues to allow me to live an amazing life.

So, I will continue to thank God for this gift of health issues because he is good and he is using it for his purposes. The plans of the Lord are perfect, even if I do not always know the reasons I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey. All I know is that someday, I will be in the loving presence of Jesus. But until then, I will continue to live life and embrace every moment. If you see me out and about on my trike, stop and say hello. Oh, and wake me up if I happen to be asleep. ~OC

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Deep Roots

Today’s a new day! I shall not be moved; I shall not be shaken. How many times have I repeated these familiar Bible verses in my mind, thinking that as long as I am truly rooted in God, nothing will ever rock my world.

I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

But this world can be like a roller coaster, full of twist and turns. And sometimes no matter how hard we cling to the grace of God, we can find ourselves overwhelmed by the storms of life.

There are times we still shake when life throws us a curveball. No one is immune to the unsteady waves of this broken world.

So how do we stay rooted?

Having been born and raised in South Florida, I have lived through many storms and hurricanes. Life can be a little unpredictable during hurricane season. As I reflect on all the hurricanes I have lived through, I realize that I had it all wrong just asking the question above.

During a hurricane, the trees can violently sway back and forth. I think to myself, there is no way those trees can withstand the strong winds. At any moment, they are going to fly away in the storm. But I marvel as the trees sway and rock, but are not uprooted.

Steady they hold on, anchored in the ground by an invisible root system designed to protect them from life’s raging storms.

We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain. (Hebrews‬ ‭6‬:‭19‬)

Life will shake us. It will move our earthly bodies and minds in ways that feel almost impossible to recover from. But when we anchor ourselves in the love and salvation of God, we find that our eternal soul and spirit can never be moved.

Just like those trees, we have an invisible root system that anchors us in the Kingdom of God. This allows us to walk confidently through the storms of life, knowing that God is always holding onto us.

Though the earth give way and the mountains be cast into the midst of the sea, we remain rooted in God. Although life and the choices we make may move us, God always has us right where He wants us.

I want to encourage you to remember that we always have an anchor in the unsteady waves of this world.  I pray you remember how all that we are is secured in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father. ~OC

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Keep Pressing Forward

Today’s a new day! Life is full of hard times. I do not think that is breaking news to anyone. The nightly news point to it. Our neighbors and coworkers talk about it. Our hearts feel it. So many people are going through hard times right now. Let’s face it: Life is hard, even in the best of times. Disappointments, illnesses, loss, broken relationships, dashed dreams. As we walk through these difficult moments, what does the Bible say about getting through adversity?

Plenty, actually! God knows we’re living in a broken world, but He has not left us to suffer alone.

First, when we’re in the midst of hard times, it can be difficult to remember that nothing happens without the knowledge of God, who “works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). You are not victim of random occurrences; you are a child of a Heavenly Father who wants to turn adversity into opportunity.

We also need to keep uppermost in our minds that hardships don’t last forever—but the things we learn from them do. The Apostle Paul writes the following words in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18,

“Therefore we do not lose heart. . . . For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Adversity in God’s hands can help us refrain from our self-dependency and pride. It can push us into deeper intimacy with Jesus. It can redirect our paths toward our greater good, and toward God’s greater glory.

Tough times also can reshape us. Think about Romans 5:1-5, in which Paul says that “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope… Or 1 Peter 5:10, in which the apostle Peter teaches that “the God of all grace … after you have suffered a little, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.”

Who doesn’t want to be a person of character, full of hope, strong and steadfast?

It’s all in how we react to those tough moments in life isn’t it? A good place to start is to discern the source of the adversity. Is it just circumstances? Maybe you’ve lost your job due to the budget cuts, or your chronic illness is currently getting the best of you. You could be suffering from physical, mental or emotional exhaustion from the current trials you’re facing. Life is hard!

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey and study God’s word the overall message I continue to hear is to turn to Him and trust Him. Persevere! That’s what Hebrews says: “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised” (Hebrews 10:36).

Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Don’t opt out! Remember, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

You aren’t going through hard times alone.  No matter what, remember to Keep Pressing Forward. Stay Focused. Finish Strong. ~OC

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Surviving the Bite

Today’s a new day! I love when God uses a scripture or chapter of the Bible to speak to my heart and to share a message. Today was one of those days. The following post was inspired by Acts 28. I pray the following words bring you encouragement.

In Acts 28, when the Apostle Paul was bitten by a viper, his hand or body did not swell up and he did not die. The people were amazed. Can you imagine witnessing that story? But as I read about this encounter Paul had with this viper, God brought something to my mind. Even though Paul’s hand and body did not swell up and even though he survived this encounter, no where in Chapter 28, does it say Paul did not experience some pain from that bite. You see, God never promised to protect us from the pain of the bite. But God did promise to protect us from the venom of the bite. Some storms in life are going to cause pain, but they will not necessarily kill you. Likewise, God would never allow us to walk through a season of pain without revealing a greater purpose for our pain.

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I embrace the opportunities my suffering has allowed me to experience. I embrace the lessons this journey has taught me. I give thanks for the many blessings I have experienced during this journey. I am thankful for the person I have become through this journey.

So today, I encourage you to not allow the venom of this world to keep you from experiencing the purpose God has for your life through your suffering. ~OC

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The Church

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out my faith, sometimes I get a little confused. The following is not a knock on the Church. I personally love the Church. The following is just some of my thoughts and concerns.

Growing up, the Church taught me to love my neighbors, to model the life of Jesus. To be kind and considerate, and to stand up for the bullied and marginalized.

The Church taught me to love people, consider others as more important than myself. “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.” We sang it together, lifting our hands and singing that chorus at the top of our lungs.

The Church taught me to love my enemies, to even do good to those who wish to do me harm.

The Church taught me to never hate anyone and to always find ways to love and encourage everyone I come in contact with.

The Church taught me it’s better to give than to receive, to be last instead of first.

The Church taught me that money doesn’t bring happiness and can sometimes even lead to evil, but taking care of the needs of others brings great joy and life to the soul.

The Church taught me that Jesus looks at what I do for the least-of-these as the true reflection of my faith and character.

The Church taught me to focus on my own sin instead of trying to police it in others.

The Church taught me to be accepting and forgiving.

I paid attention.

I took notes.

I took in every lesson.

And I did what I was taught.

But now, so many churches and Christians call me a liberal.

A snowflake.

You call me “woke” without even knowing the true meaning of the word.

You call me a backslider.

You call me a heretic.

You call me a confused believer.

You tell me my beliefs are probably the reason I am sick. Yes, I have been told that on many occasions.

When the Church passed out the “WWJD” (What Would Jesus Do) bracelets back in the day, I wore mine proudly.

I took the meaning to heart.

I thought the Church did too. Apparently not all churches.

Because sadly in 2025, it appears lines of division have been drawn in the sand. Sadly, so many in the Church have such disdain for nearly all the people I was taught to love. So many in the Church stand against nearly all the things I was taught to believe in. I am trying to see a way forward, but it is getting hard when I survey all the hurt, harm, and darkness that I see coming from so many Churches and Ministries in this season.

So dear Church, what am I supposed to do with all these questions and concerns?

I truly believe what I read in the scriptures. Especially those red letter parts.

And today, I still believe everything I have read in the scriptures. I lean into all of those truths. The words and promises of Jesus keep my faith strong, when it would be so much easier to throw my hands up and walk away from it all. But I will never allow anyone or anything to steal my faith in Jesus.

Which leaves me wondering, what happened to so many of the churches and ministries in America? So many seem to have lost their way.

Thankfully grace is brave. So I will make the choice to be brave and keep leaning into the beautiful truths of God. ~OC

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Life With Chronic Illness

Today’s a new day! What do you do when you don’t get better?”

I became chronically sick twenty-three years ago, after being diagnosed with several types of crippling arthritis. It would be a year later after taking many experimental medications, that I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Then over the years, I would be be diagnosed with the following: Young Onset Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis, Covid Long-Hauler, Complex Headaches, and recently Early Onset Dementia. Oh, and a stroke several years ago. It truly has been a crazy beautiful health journey.

I became a Christian when I was ten years old. I will be the first to admit, I did not always live the Christian life in my early teenage years. When I first became ill, some people in the Christian community began to weaponize their faith against me. They would say that I wasn’t faithful enough, or that I must have some type of unresolved sin in my life. Sadly all these years later, I still have some Christians screaming that in my ear on a weekly basis. At times over the years, I felt judged and disliked by many in the Christian community. That is never how Christianity, or any faith, should be. For me, it wasn’t just what conversations were being had—but also how.

The sad part is that the people who wanted me to not lose faith tried to make it harder to connect with God and other Christians. Some people over the years have made the excuses, “Well they mean well.” I truly do not believe that. I believe it actually shows their true heart. I am thankful that during this crazy beautiful health journey, God has surrounded me with some amazing people who have helped me through this difficult season. I am also thankful I have never lost my faith during this journey.

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, my goal is to not allow those negative voices to have any influence on my life. I also decided early on in my health journey to help others walking through their own health journey.

I share all this because I know that I’m not alone, and I want others to know that they aren’t either. When you’re feeling attacked, beaten up, remember that God loves and is with you. I am sorry if anyone has made you feel like that isn’t the case. What people believe is their choice, but no one has the right to weaponize their faith. That sort of human hurt harms those in the disabled/chronically ill community that may be struggling with their faith.

In Isaiah 54:10 we read, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” Being chronically ill can very much feel as if everything is being shaken up and changed—at least that’s how I have felt at times over the years.

I no longer know what each day will feel like, physically, let alone have a clue about what I may be able to do in the future. But God’s love doesn’t change when we are in tough situations (or any situation.) He is still with us. He knows the truth of our situation and still loves us.

Some passages that resonated with me, and may be appreciated by those reading this post, are those about us being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 13- 14), Psalm 86-15, and Ephesians 1:5-6. That is about YOU. You are loved beyond words. Think about John 3:16. That’s not just for the able bodied and minded, it’s for ALL of us.

If you can relate to anything I have written, the following are a few things that have helped me. Just remember this journey is different for everyone.

*Don’t bottle things up. I encourage everyone to find a trusted friend, pastor, counselor or support group to share your feelings with. It may be difficult at first, but I promise you’ll be glad you did.

*Take this current season of life slowly. Remember, life is a marathon not a sprint.

*Do not give up on the Christian community or the Church based on some misguided people. Remember, there are no perfect people or churches.

*Find out what works for you in your journey with health issues and your walk with God. One size doesn’t fit us all.

*Spend time in the Bible and listening to worship music. Both have helped bring peace and clarity to my life during my health journey.

* Remember, sometimes God does not give us quick answers to our prayer request. I encourage you to embrace the lessons God is trying to teach you during this difficult season. All of us whether healthy or chronically ill have a different journey. If chronic illness is currently part of journey, you are just as worthy as anyone else. Please embrace that truth today.

I hope and pray this post will encourage and challenge everyone who has taken the time to read it. Thank you! ~OC

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My Covid Story

On March 13, 2020, America shut down because of Covid. Five years later, Covid still plays a major part in my life. Here is my story.

For most, the year 2020 was one to forget. The Covid Pandemic turned most of the world upside down. We watched in horror as we witnessed so many people and families suffer tremendous suffering and lose. As my wife and I watched all this unfold, we were thankful that Covid19 had not touched us. Until it did.

On Super Bowl Sunday 2021, I woke up a little tired. It had been a long week so I did not think much of it. I took my temperature and thankfully it was normal. I headed off to church excited for the day. You see, I am a life long Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan and they were playing in the Super Bowl. After church, I headed home and took a little pregame nap. When I woke up everything had changed. I woke up with my shirt soaked in sweat. I took my temperature and it was at 103.6. I immediately went and had a Covid test. Of course this was on a Sunday, so my results would take a few days. I went home and basically slept through the Bucs winning the Super Bowl. Go Bucs!

On that Monday morning, I woke up feeling much worse. My temperature was now at 104.2. I also had a terrible headache, body aches, terrible cough and did not want to move. Later in the day, it was determined I needed to make my way to the ER. Once inside the ER, test revealed I did indeed have Covid and double pneumonia. I was headed to the Covid floor.

During my stay at the hospital, I received Blood Plasma, Steroids and Remdesivir. Being isolated on the Covid floor was tough. When I had been hospitalized in the past, I was used to having visitors and walking the halls. This hospital stay was filled with staff in protective covering and closed doors. Complete Isolation. After more than a week on the Covid floor, I was released. Time to recover from Covid and double pneumonia.

After being released from the hospital, I had to spend a week isolated away from my wonderful bride, since she continued to test negative for Covid. But unfortunately, my wife would soon experience the effects of Covid. Thankfully, her symptoms were a little milder and she does not suffer from any longtime effects. After finally arriving home, I waited to feel better. Surely I would feel better in a few days. But that was not the case. After two months my symptoms had not gotten much better. My CT Scan showed my lungs were still filled with Covid. I was still dealing with headaches, breathing issues, cough, no appetite, hoarse voice, fatigue and brain fog. Most of my days felt like the movie Groundhogs Day.

My medical team officially classified me as a Covid Long Hauler almost six months after my original diagnosis. Not a club anyone wants to be part of. Everything was wait and see. So, what do you do with that news? When you cannot rely on anything that was once reliable. When you have taken every step you know how to take-what then? You Hope. You Never Give Up.

My life is totally different than it was on that morning in February 2021. In 2025, I still stand up having no idea where I am going. Trying to process new information is still a challenge. Breathing continues to be a struggle. Constant fatigue. I could go on and on about the different symptoms I still deal with on a daily basis.

So as I continue to walk this journey, I still lean into Hope. I still do my research. I continue to try to encourage others walking through their own Long Hauler’s battle. I will continue to pray with great expectancy to wake up one morning with no Covid symptoms. That day when I am renewed physically. But until that day, I will live in Hope. ~OC

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