Tag: Pain

Hope in the Storm

Good Morning! Here is another “Lost Writings from OC.” I wrote this back in March 2019 while in the hospital.

Today’s a new day! As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have found there is hope in the middle of my battle. I do not say this lightly, as this health journey has taken a lot from me physically. But, as I continue to walk through this battle, I have felt the presence of God and He continues to remind me that He always gives beauty for ashes. 


Beauty for ashes can look like oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair, and a closer relationship with Him. God’s love fulfills our every need, not only in the natural but also in the eternal.

I want to share some Bible verses that have helped me as I continue to walk through this season of health issues.

“Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until the danger passes by.”~Psalms 57:1

I pray that you see it’s God’s mercy that has you here. I do not know what your storm looks like, maybe it looks a bit disheveled or completely unrecognizable. Whatever the case might be, God is a permanent safe place; His refuge isn’t one that collapses or gets overwhelmed by a storm surge. No, it is filled with great peace that surpasses all of our understanding. God is where we can place all of our trust.

“The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights. ~Habakkuk 3:19

As I studied this scripture from the Old Testament, this is what I learned. A hind is a deer that can place its feet exactly where its front feet stepped, not missing an inch. A hind lives in mountainous regions and can run the terrain without fear. They are truly free even when crossing difficult paths along the way. I believe this verse is saying that God does the same with us. In His great sovereignty, God reshapes our feet to fit the mountain we are climbing. I pray it brings you some strength as you walk through your own storm.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”~Romans 15:13

I pray as you walk through a season of storms, you will see God as your hope. Hope that devastates all brokenness and holds us through what we couldn’t imagine through the heartache. We can always call on our Heavenly Father, who gives us great joy and peace that stands in the face of everything we might be going through right now.

“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”” ~Joshua 1:9

This verse sounds like a bold ask when in reality it’s a bold invitation. Be strong and courageous because the Lord is with us because He has never left and intends to go before us wherever we go. What a great promise from God who led Joshua and the Israelites into the Promise Land. That same God lives today and is there for you and I. So take heart, for God has overcome the world.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” ~2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I pray that this verse finds you on both sides. Some of you have found yourselves in great need of comfort from our Father of compassion. Others have been comforted and are searching for ways to do the same for those in trouble and currently dealing with the storms of life. I want to lift up the first of you who were so blindsided by all the damage done and be expectant on how God will use His people to give you a helping hand and abundant love to get you through. For those that fall into the latter, I pray that God will give you healing hands as you go out into your community and renew your strength daily to not grow weary in doing good.

I know this post was a little long, but I hope it brings you some peace and comfort if you’re currently walking through a tough season of life or just coming out of a trying time. God Bless ~OC

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Dear Friend,

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2019. Sorry it’s a little long. ~OC

Dear Friends,

Several people have reached out to me who are dealing with their own crazy beautiful health journey. So I thought I would share some words that will hopefully bring some encouragement. In the last couple of weeks, my doctors have shared I probably only have months to live. I say this to you, not to discourage you, but to let you know that I am in the trenches with you. These words don’t come from distant memories but from present realities.

The following is a “Battle Plan” of how I am walking through this battle.

1. Recognizing that most of our battles are waged in the mind, I chose to focus on God who is all-powerful and compassionate. The Bible tells us that God’s Name is El Elyon, God Most High, and that nothing can come into our lives that is not first filtered through the fingers of God’s love. God knew before the foundation of the world that we would face different challenges in life and has already provided the resources we need to face them. God’s plan for us in every trial of every size is that we experience victory, never defeat.

2. I chose to view this illness as a gift. Granted, it’s like expecting a new ten-speed bike for Christmas and getting socks, but it is a gift. It is a time to draw near to God, to experience God more fully, to enjoy the simple joys of life, to focus on those things that are truly important. I will thank God every day for this particular gift of health issues.

3. Although my health issues wants to be an all-consuming issue in my life, I refuse to sink within myself. I will reach out to someone else each day with a text, phone call, word of encouragement, act of service or prayer.

4. I will not ignore my emotions (which are currently like a roller coaster on steroids) I will allow myself to experience all the emotions this health journey brings my way, but I will NOT be ruled by them.

5. I will share what is happening to me with others and enlist their support and prayers. I cannot do this alone, and I will not rob others of the blessing they can receive in ministering to me.

6. I will make both short-term and long-term goals in order to have something in the future to look forward to. For example, I plan on continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride through trips and other amazing adventures.

7. I will find some reason to laugh every day.

8. I will remind myself that, in some inexplicable way, the manner in which I conduct myself during this time of struggle does, indeed, impact the spiritual world. The book of Job tells us that humans sometimes get caught up in a cosmic battle between God and Satan, and my actions are key to that struggle. (Jesus Himself told His disciples upon their completion of a missionary journey that God had seen Satan fall from heaven as a result of their actions).

9. I will endeavor to keep my life as “normal” as possible. I will continue my every-day activities and responsibilities as long as I am physically able. This will afford me the comfort of the predictable and common aspects of life as well as helping me not to slide into introspection and self-pity.

Dear friend, who is walking through your own battle, I am praying for you. I am asking that you will be “sincere and blameless” (Philippians 1:10). The word “sincere” is a Greek word that grew out of a poor practice in the marketplace of the day. Everyone in the culture used pottery for many tasks like we use plastic today. It was important that the pots be well made. Most were, but there were some unscrupulous pottery makers who would find a pot with cracks in it. Rather than discarding it, they would fill the crack with wax to cover it up. This would work as long as the pot sold early in the day. But after a longer time of sitting out in the hot Middle Eastern sun, the wax would melt and the cracks would show. Paul prayed that the Philippians would avoid this by being sincere or “sun-tested.” May you, as you face the heat and pressures of this time, find yourself to be, by His grace, without wax.

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Life

Today’s a new day! Our wrinkles mean we have laughed and cried in life. The gray hair or lack of hair means we have cared for someone. The scars collected over the years means we have truly lived. Celebrate Living! ~OC

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Not Your Enemy

Today’s a new day! You may consider me your enemy. But I am not your enemy. I do not hate you. I do not wish you harm. I do not foster harmful designs against you.

At the same time, we may not be able to be friends. If you deny people the right to have their own opinions, to freely share their opinions, attack them when they do, you may not be a safe person for my friends, family or myself to be around and we may not be able to be friends. If you want to deny people the right to freely worship in their own way, you may not be a safe person for my friends, family or myself to be around. We may not be able to be friends. If you want to share hate and spread lies, we may not be able to be friends. I could go on, but hopefully you get the point. These statements do not mean that I wish harm to you. And this doesn’t necessarily mean we can never talk over a meal. If you are willing to engage in good faith, we can try and we will see how things go. We may be able to be acquaintances and perhaps even friendly, but it will take a lot of time and effort before it’s possible for us to be friends.

Even though we may not be able to be friends, I am not your enemy. And so know that If you are hungry or in need, I will do my best to help you find food and have your needs met. I will work for a society where you have access to affordable health care, and a job that pays a living wage. I want you to have access to a good education, and to clean water and air. I want you to have freedom of religion and speech. I want you to read the books you want to read. I do not want you unjustly detained or imprisoned. I do not want you to be harassed when you walk down the street or go into a store. I want you to be able to flourish. I do not wish you harm. I am not your enemy.

If you can manage to not do harm to the people I love and care about; if you can work for these same things for the people I care about, we can begin a relationship. We do not need to agree on exactly how we solve our society’s problems, but we need to be able to speak with respect and kindness. Because I am not your enemy. ~OC

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I Was Never Alone

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings of OC.” This was dated 4/20/15.

When I was sad, He was sad. When I felt rejected, He felt rejected. And, when I cried, He cried with me. He is in me, and my emotions are connected to His emotions. Everything I have ever felt good or bad God has felt those, too.

And then I realized “I was never alone.”

There is something so tender, no it’s sacred, when God opens Heaven and we realize just how near to us He really is.

It brings something so distant and intangible very close and even touchable – spirit to spirit. It removes the lie that we are as invisible to Him as He is to us. It makes us known to Him and He known to us.

It’s easy to feel alone in this world. It’s easy to forget that Jesus weeps when we weep. It’s easy to believe God doesn’t care, have time, or desire to be involved in our lives. It’s easy because we impose our past experiences with others upon a God that sometimes we treat more like a sidekick than a caring Father.

If you’re going through a tough season in life, can I pray for you? It’s hard to keep going day in and day out when you feel so alone. I may not know your current circumstances, but I understand the feelings. More importantly, God understands your feelings and knows your circumstances. He loves you, and above all He has not abandoned you. He is hurt when someone hurts you. He is sad when a friend walks away. He is heartbroken because you’ve been cast aside, and He cried as you’ve cried. Dear friend, God sees you, and you are not alone.

Dear God, I pray for those that are hurting. Father, thank you that you are with them and remind them they’re not alone. I pray dear God that they feel your nearness in the chaos of their daily life. Reveal yourself to those that feel lost in a way that shows them you are near. Guard their heart as they navigate through this difficult time, and protect their mind, and daily bring your truth to override the lies. We pray all of this in Jesus name. Amen

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Wednesday Morning Prayer

A prayer for those dealing with health issues on this Wednesday morning. ~OC

Dear God, as you hear the cries of the needy, I pray you would bring peace, comfort and healing. I pray you would sustain those who feel weak and defeated this morning. I pray they would feel your presence today. Dear Lord, bless them with your strength and wisdom as they navigate through the difficult moments of their health journey. Reveal your purpose and beautiful plan for their lives. I pray all of this in the powerful name of the Healer and Sustainer. Amen

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A Saturday Prayer

Happy Saturday Morning! Let us pray before we start another day. ~OC

Dear God, thank you for another day. Another day filled with challenges and beautiful opportunities. Refresh us this morning. Allow us to live in your presence. Allow us to welcome and encourage every person we encounter today. Allow us to be present in every situation today. Dear God, teach us when to speak and when to listen. When to ponder and when to share. In moments of challenge allow us to lean into the whisperings of your heart. Dear Lord, feel us with the simple gift of your peace today. Allow us to celebrate your joy this day. When our day goes well, may we rejoice. When life grows difficult, surprise us with new possibilities. When life is overwhelming, call us to rest. Dear God, restore your Peace and Harmony in each of our hearts. May our lives reveal your goodness. Dear God, we pray all of this in your precious name. Amen

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The Battle

Good morning! Here is another post from “The Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2019. Have a great day!

I am a Warrior, Fighter, Conqueror and Overcomer. Some people do not like using those terms when talking about their health journey, but I embrace each of them. Because every day that I am blessed to wake up and make it through another day is a Victory. A Battle won.

The words “fighter” and “warrior” are often linked with our response to illness. I think it’s appropriate. I have walked the halls of hospitals, chemo rooms, hospice rooms and believe me each of those individuals were fighting a battle. Waging war against a disease that is trying to destroy every single part of their bodies.

As I have traveled my own crazy beautiful health journey, I have been blessed to meet and become friends with some amazing “Warriors.” I do not think any of us warriors would consider ourselves to be “inspirations.” Even though a lot of people like to put that term on us. No, we are just focused on making it through the tough moments of the day. The weeks. And for some like me, the years. We will leave all the “inspirational” talk to you.

For many the word “fighting” might sound exhausting. And it can be. There are some days I just want a break from this health battle. When this happens, I do not want to be told I’m inspirational and to “just keep going!” or “battle on!” I just want someone to listen. This is where I have found my “people in my boat” to be so helpful. Even though some have never had to walk through a health battle, they have walked through their own battles in life. One of my friends once shared “Just keep swimming, and when you can’t swim, just float.” Some days I just want or need to float for a while.

So I will continue to use terms like Warrior, Overcomer, Fighter and Conqueror. I believe these terms unite those living with chronic health problems. We will fight and overcome together. ~OC

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Life with Myasthenia Gravis

Good Morning! More writings from the “Lost Writings of OC.” I thought I would share a little bit about my Myasthenia Gravis (MG) experience with you today. I originally wrote this in 2024 and updated it several weeks ago. As I share this with you, my MG is getting much worse.

Today’s a new day! Myasthenia Gravis (MG) is an autoimmune disease that causes muscle weakness. But what exactly does muscle weakness feel like? To understand more, let me walk you through a typical day with MG.

For me it feels like I’ve run out power. In general, I feel it’s a huge effort to move when I’m very weak. When my legs are weak, they feel heavy and unsteady. I feel like I cannot move them or trust them to hold me up. The weaker I get, the closer and closer my steps get to each other, until I have to stop and lean against something or just sit down.

Also, I get pain in my hip flexors – basically my butt. It’s the same kind of pain you get from overdoing a workout: an achy soreness that feels like you have overused the muscles. These days, I deal with hip pain on a constant basis.

When my shoulders are weak, which is most of the time lately, I feel like I just cannot lift my arms. Like there are heavy weights holding them down.

My neck continues to get weaker. I just cannot hold my head up. It falls to the side or down, or I have to prop it up with my hand on my chin and my elbow on a table, or with a U-shaped neck pillow and a high-backed chair. As my neck weakens, I develop achy pain in my upper back from trying to hold my head up. I sometimes get a nauseating gagging sensation from my throat collapsing.

Eating with MG can be a challenge from having to take breaks while eating, to choking on solids and fluids. Sitting down to eat or drink is a major undertaking. I also start to slur my speech, and I get short of breath from minor exertion, or sometimes just sitting still.

I always have muscle weakness, but it gets more severe with heat, exertion, lack of sleep, infections, or other stressors. Summertime can be very challenging. Extreme cold is not my friend either.

Based on my weakened lung muscles, I am unable to take deep breaths. This causes issues on so many different levels. These days, every breath is a struggle.

I have to stay on top of my medications for the Myasthenia Gravis. I have to take one of those medications four times a day. Oh, I better not miss those dosages or things can go down hill pretty quickly.

I try to dress in cool fabrics and wear layers in winter. And I try to protect myself from sickness by keeping my vaccines up to date, wearing a mask when needed , and using hand sanitizer or washing my hands frequently when I am out of the house. I tend to fist bump and avoid shaking hands or hugging.

You know how much I love to walk, but that is getting harder these days. I have added a walking stick to help with my balance. This is a far cry from my marathon days

My medical team continuously tells me I am a one in two billion case with all of the multiple diagnosis. With Myasthenia Gravis, I fall into a small group of people being diagnosed with MG after having their thymus removed. My cancerous thymus was removed in 2003, but I was not diagnosed with MG until 2009. I will not go into what the thymus does, but feel free to research on your own.

How friends loved ones can help

One thing my friends and family do for me that’s immensely helpful is helping to educate themselves on Myasthenia Gravis so they can explain it to others and better understand my daily challenges.

I only have a few people besides my bride, who truly know me and my MG that well, but they are lifesavers. They’re also the ones I’ll talk candidly to when my MG gets me down. I cannot be relentlessly cheerful all the time, but I try.

I hope this gives you a better understanding of what Myasthenia Gravis looks like and how it affects my life on a daily basis. Each day is a struggle, but I continue to push forward and look at all the positives in my life. I encourage you to do the same. Go have a great day! ~OC

Dear God, Sometimes the pain is so great, I cannot think beyond my current struggle. On hard days, please ease my pain and help me focus on Your goodness one day, one hour, one moment at a time. Let Your overwhelming peace wash over me and remind me Your mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). There are days when I beg you to take the pain away. Days I just don’t have the strength. In those desperate times, I ask for Your unending strength to sustain me. I cannot do it alone, but with You all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Amen

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My Life With Parkinson’s

Good Morning! I wanted to share a bit of my Parkinson’s experience with you today. I was diagnosed with PD in 2007. The disease is starting to take its toll on me, but I continue to live with an attitude of hope. I originally wrote this in 2019 and updated it the first of 2025.

Today’s a new day! Living with Parkinson’s takes hope, persistence and a strong will to live. Because Parkinson’s never takes a day off. Parkinson’s is a daily battle. In the presence of Parkinson’s, one must have courage, the strength of character, and for me a strong faith.

While there’s life, there’s hope. Each morning when I wake, I do a full-body inventory, thinking ‘Okay body, what awaits us today?’ I remain hopeful that my just-completed sleep has re-fueled my brain and re-stocked my body. Of course that’s on the nights I actually sleep. Cloaked around every fiber of my body is my unwelcome guest named Parkinson’s; however, the day has started anew, and there is much to accomplish. I use hope as an anchor to secure my body and mind against the slowly rising tide from Parkinson’s. There is still time while staying hopeful.

Living with a positive attitude makes a big difference. Before I get out of my recliner, it can be easy to feel sorry for myself. I have Parkinson’s, a progressive neurodegenerative disorder. And that’s the negative mindset Parkinson’s has provided but I try to never allow myself to stay there for very long. There are days that are going to be difficult; yet staying positive and focusing on the plans God has for my life is where I choose to place my focus. I choose to look at my life with a positive attitude. That is completely opposite of how this disease wants me to feel and live.

I have found living this journey and sharing my story has been a privilege of a lifetime. I start each day with a prayer to focus on what plans God would have for me on that particular day. I choose to stay engaged with the everyday activities of life. Things are starting to get much tougher these days, but I make the choice every day to embrace life to its fullest. I remind myself there is much left to accomplish in my life even in the presence of Parkinson’s. I will close with a prayer I lift up to God every morning:

Dear God, thank you for another day. Simply use me today. This is going to be a good day. I remain hopeful not hopeless, positive not negative, happy not sad, and driven not complacent. Thank you for Your strength, wisdom and courage as I walk through this day. Amen. ~OC

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