Tag: Pain

Count It All Joy

Today’s a new day! Do you sometimes have a hard time counting it all joy during the storms of life? I think we all have had those moments. You might be dealing with financial issues, employment issues, housing issues, family issues or health issues. How in the world could you find joy in all the pain and heartbreak?

One of the lessons I have learned during my crazy beautiful health journey, is that God will use these storms to help build our faith. Will we continue to stand firm in our faith when things look hopeless?

I’ve learned that my faith is like a muscle. The more I use it the stronger my faith grows. God continues to amaze me in ways I could never have imagined. God has used my health issues to strengthen my faith and to help others going through their own storms.

There have been some tough days during this journey and more to come, but I continue to see God providing my every need.

I pray as you make it through the storm you’re facing, you will know God on a deeper level and you will have more joy and peace than you know what to do with. ~OC

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Life Takes A Village

Today’s a new day! As the holidays are just a few days away, I encourage everyone to not forget about those loved ones going through loss this season. Whether the loss of a loved one happened a few days ago or decades ago, the pain is still real. Going through the grieving process can be a very dark and difficult time for a person. However, it is also hard for the loved ones of this individual. Family members and friends often struggle to find the best ways to be supportive. Plus, the holiday season can make this process that much more challenging.

If you are the loved one of a grieving individual, understanding the stages in this process is an important place to start, but there are also many genuine things you can do to show your love and help.

Reach out to them. Most grieving people find it hard to take initiative and reach out to others. You can help by doing this for them. Stay connected with them via visits, phone calls, text, email or video chat. Make sure you are still checking in on them in the months following their loss, when fewer people are doing so.

Find ways to help. Come up with specific tasks you can assist with. Volunteer to drop off pre-made dinners so they don’t have to worry about cooking. Check and see if you can run errands for them. See if there is any house or yard work they need assistance with. Maybe they just need you to sit with them.

Don’t be afraid to say their name.To share stories. Those grieving can be concerned that their loved one will be forgotten by others. Therefore, don’t be afraid to mention the loved one’s name and to share stories about the person. Those stories may bring some tears, but they could also bring some much needed laughs.

This holiday season will be tough for many this year, so take the time to reach out to them and let them know you care. Life takes a village. ~OC

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Thoughts and Prayers Are Not Enough

Here I am again, writing about another school shooting in America. This is getting old and more frustrating. When will America wake up and realize that common sense gun laws and more mental health resources are needed to help curb this type of violence?

I also offer the following challenge to those politicians and decision makers who will share their “thoughts and prayers” with the families. Please don’t, if there is no action behind those sentiments. Instead, express the actual thoughts you are thinking and the actual prayers you are praying. I mean that quite literally. They are far more meaningful than an empty worthless phrase that is really designed to ease our own discomfort and let us off the hook from having to do anything.

And then match your actions with your prayers and your thoughts. That’s how it works.

If you need an example of how this works, here’s my own personal example. After one of the school shootings earlier this year I lamented to God, saying something “How long oh Lord? How long? I’m so tired of the empty rhetorical cycle that happens after a shooting. A shooting happens, then “thoughts and prayers” which no one actually seems to do, then a pointless debate in which people talk over each other, and then nothing changes. Enough! This cannot keep going on. Amen.”

Please understand, I believe in the power of prayer. But if there is no action behind those prayers, what is the point.

I know even with common sense gun laws and more mental health resources there is a chance that school shootings could still happen, but I truly believe we would see less of these tragic events.

In the end, I just want “thoughts and prayers” to actually mean something and lead to real change. ~OC

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Take Heart

Today’s a new day! One of my favorite verses is “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33.

What does that verse really mean? One of the biggest lies many Christians are told when they start following God is everything will be perfect and they will never deal with the storms of life. That if God is on our side, nothing can go wrong, and all it takes is a quick prayer to get us out of a sticky situtation. Just like a sitcom on tv. All is good in 30 minutes. But we live in reality and we know that’s far from the truth.

Nowhere in the Bible are we promised a perfect life on earth. Life will be filled with struggles. We will all experience challenges along our journey. Those challenges will look different for each of us. Some will deal with health issues. Sometimes those health challenges will last a lifetime.

The point is that even though we all experience challenges in this journey called life, Jesus has overcome the world. As I mentioned earlier, we will encounter painful moments in this world, but there is a world beyond this world. A place called Heaven, where we will experience peace and wholeness. A place where there is no pain, disease, war, hatred or confusion. Heaven is paradise.

When I experience moments of hopelessness with my own health, I take a moment to think about God’s goodness and promises. I also take time to remember that I need God more today than I did yesterday. I may not understand everything going on in my crazy beautiful health journey, but God does. And for that I am thankful.

I am often asked why would God allow me to walk through so many years of suffering? Of course I do not have all the answers, but I have chosen to trust God in the mist of the storms. To look for every opportunity to help encourage everyone walking through their own challenges. I have decided not to spend all my precious moments researching Google looking for the latest medical or natural cures.

I’ve accepted that I will never fully understand every inner working of my body at any given moment. No one has it all figured out. Not even the medical world. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do everything in my power to pray and strive for better health. It just means I will not become consumed by my current health challenges. They are not my true identity.

Nothing gives me more peace and comfort than my relationship with God. Just like any personal relationship takes work and trust the same goes for our relationship with God. It’s a daily commitment. In life we so often stumble for answers. We jump from different diets, different relationships and different careers looking for the answer and looking for a way to make us feel good and worthy. There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but nothing will ever give us as much peace and purpose than a relationship with God and the knowledge that even though the storms of life can be hard, He has already overcome the world.

I know this was a long post, but I pray it brings you hope as you walk through the ups and downs of life. Blessings to all. ~OC

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Not the End

Today’s a new day! Sometimes a tragedy can provide a platform for something greater. Something beyond our wildest imagination. Sometimes a tragedy can be the beginning of something beautiful, not the end of the story. ~OC

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Thankfulness While Grieving

Today’s a new day! Today is also Thanksgiving Day. I have many things to be thankful for, but I am also grieving the death of a loved one. This has been a hard week.

It can be difficult to be thankful when you’re in a season of grieving. When you experience the loss of a loved one you begin to wonder if you will ever feel happy again. It is hard to be thankful when you are hurting. The Bible is not silent on the issue of suffering. The Bible is full of scriptures and stories about suffering.

Giving thanks to God during times of grief is difficult, but not impossible. In fact, it is one of the best ways of progressing towards hope while you are grieving. How can you be thankful during times of grief? I believe Remembering , Reflecting , and Rejoicing can guide us through a season of loss and grief.

First, take time to remember. Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. Do not doubt in the darkness what you have clearly seen in the light. One of the results of the grieving process is that our minds become absorbed with that one thing. It is so important that you force yourself to remember key foundational truths about God. Remember that He loves you. Remember that He is in control. Remember that He is always working good; even in the bad circumstances. While grieving, you may not want to hear someone quote Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” But, remember that it is true. 

Second, take time to reflect. Reflect on your current situation, but do not dwell on it. What’s the difference between reflecting and dwelling? Think of it like a house. When you dwell in a house you live in it. Dwelling on the cause of your grief is like going back to the situation and living there as you relive it over and over. When you reflect, you think deeply and carefully about something. Going back to the house illustration, rather than dwelling in the house, you sit outside the house and look in. Reflecting is different because it gives you time to grieve and realize that your life has changed and there will be a new reality moving forward.

Remember, there is no set timeframe for you to stop grieving. Please hear that. Grief has no timeline. In one sense, you will never stop grieving until you are given your new body and dwelling with God in Heaven. The purpose in grieving well is not to stop grieving, but to begin grieving with hope.

When we are grieving we are overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions are powerful and have great control over us, so we are told in the Bible to take control of them. We do this by guarding our heart. Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” The heart is the essence of who we are. It is more than just emotions. It is the command center of your life. It directs our emotions.

Through grief and mourning we must remember to guard our hearts.

Third, take time to rejoice. In the middle of your mourning, allow your heart and mind to remember some of the beautiful moments and memories. That can be difficult in the midst of a loss or a difficult season in life. But the fact that God has brought us this new day means that we can rejoice and be glad in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. This verse does not teach us that every circumstance is good, but that God is good. This is not always easy, but we must continue to lean into this truth.

So today take some time to Remember, Reflect, Rejoice

*Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. 

*Reflect and give yourself time to grieve. Guard your heart so that you do not believe lies but trust God.

*Rejoice in the Lord who is powerfully and purposefully at work.

If you are grieving, trust God. Consider the story of Martha from John 11. Martha had just lost her brother and was grieving. When she saw Jesus she said to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). Martha then said something very profound. Martha said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You” (John 11:22). Martha serves as an example of a godly person hurting yet trusting. So today, allow God to help you give thanks in all circumstances on this Thanksgiving Day. ~OC

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Convenient Friendships

Today’s a new day! I really wish someone would’ve told me my circle of friends would dramatically shrink as my health began to decline. All of the sudden hanging out or staying in touch with me has became optional for most of my “friends.” Walking through this health journey is tough enough, without friends jumping ship and forgetting my number. Thankfully, I have a very small number of friends who do not treat me like an inconvenience. Thankful for their encouragement and true friendship. Also thankful God continues to walk out this journey right by my side.

I did not write the above for sympathy, but to bring to light how important friendships are to those with long term health issues. A phone call or visit can make a really tough day a little easier. But when those promised calls or visits do not happen, that can have such a negative impact on a person. So if you have a loved one who is walking through a season of health issues, do not forget about them. I can guarantee you they have not forgotten about you. Blessings. ~OC

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Dear…,

Today’s a new day!

Dear……,

I want you to know, first and foremost, how special you are. Those are not words to make you feel better. Whether you realize it or not, your life matters.

I want you to know how you light up the world with your smile when you show it off. So please, show it off more. You use more of your face muscles when you smile, so stretch it out so wide that it hurts and remember when you grow old and see wrinkles around your mouth that you got them from smiling.

I know people are trying to reach out to you to tell you that everything is going to be alright and that they’re there for you. Please – and I cannot stress this enough – do not push them away or shut them out. You may not want to hear it, but those family members, friends, and coworkers are there for you and would do anything to help.

So, give them a chance even when you don’t think they’ll understand your pain. You’ll never know if you do not let them in. You’re feeling alone right now. So alone that you don’t think anyone can see all the pain you’re going through.

I want you to know I see you, okay? I can see the pain written all over your face because I know the look of someone trying so hard to pretend like they’re alright when they’re crumbling on the inside. You’re not alone, you have people in your life, and even people you didn’t see coming, who are more than willing to reach out and be there for you.

I know you feel like you cannot get through this current storm. I know it seems like your world is crumbling all around and you cannot find the strength to get back up. Your days are spent isolated in your house, and you cannot eat, sleep or find the strength to move from the comfort and safety of your bed. You have lost the ambition to go outside and breathe in the fresh air. Can I share a little truth with you? I have been where you’re at. I did a pretty good job hiding it, so most people even those closest to me didn’t even notice it. Some days I was barely holding on.

So, I encourage you to hang in there. You’re important to this world and have so much talent and so many amazing ideas to give. You have a light inside you that lights up the world. So keep holding on.

Please, continue to take one day at a time. Keep leaning into the loving arms and promises of God. It’s so easy to want all the answers right this moment, but this life is not a 30 minute tv show. I would love to give you a quick fix, but that could possibly rob you of some amazing lessons God is trying to teach you in this moment. But I can promise you this. We will get through this together. Keep holding on. ~OC

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A Night With Dementia and Parkinson’s

Good morning! I pray everyone is sleeping and will see this after a great night sleep.

I can tell tonight’s going to be one of the nights. I wrote the following to share what those sleepless, hallucination filled nights are like. I wrote the following to give you a glimpse into my life with Dementia and Parkinson’s on most nights. ~OC

A Night With Dementia and Parkinson’s:

When it gets deep in the night

Where time seems to stand still

I can hear my heart beat and my thoughts screaming and that’s not always a good thing

It’s going to be one of those nights

Where sleep is a distant dream

Sometimes the voices get loud

And the hallucinations seem so real, I have to remind myself they’re not legit, just a short circuit in my brain

But through it all, I stand tall

Not allowing all those voices and thoughts to become real

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I will focus on the prize

Not all the junk, this disease

tries to steal from my mind

I keep fighting, gettin off the canvas

I keep running towards the One who

clears the cobwebs and reminds me

I am His precious child

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I will continue to fight through the

night, all the negative thoughts

that keep me from counting sheep

and getting a good night sleep

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

The giants who try to bring me

down at night, are no match for

the One who used a boy named David to bring down one of the biggest

giants of all

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

It’s time to be Brave

It’s time to keep Overcoming

It’s time to be Fearless

I am ready to Battle

Refusing to back down

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I am focused on the mission

Not going to backdown

Not going to run away

Going to walk with the King

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

As the night slowly creeps on

I will press into the promises

of my King, thankful they get me

through another night, time to be

fearless and pray through it all

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

As the night moves on and

My thoughts begin to wonder

the adrenaline starts flowing

and God’s angels get moving

the morning light will soon come shining

So, I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

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