Tag: Pain

Guiding My Steps

Today’s a new day! I am thankful as I have run this crazy beautiful health journey, that God did not reveal every step, bump, pothole or curve along this twenty-two years and counting health journey. I cannot imagine how I would have lived out this race, if I would have known how long the journey would be and all that I would have to endure. Knowing the whole story in advance would have been overwhelming. God may not have shown me every twist and turn of this health journey, but He has guided my every step. And as I have leaned into His promises, I have been amazed at everything God has brought me through.

My life and journey has not been about perfection. I have found that one of the keys to living out the toughest moments in life is my daily commitment to serve God in my words and actions. God will never abandon me as I continue to run through the bumps in the road of this health journey. There will be better days ahead and God will be with me every step of the way. ~OC

LORD, you are my portion and my cup of blessing; you hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance ~Psalm 16:5-6

0

Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate

Today’s a new day! I have been what my bride calls a “Professional Patient” for almost twenty-three years now. During this journey, I have encountered health professionals who appeared to be more concerned about egos and status than they did my well-being. For some medical providers, I was just a name on a file who happened to have very good health insurance coverage. They knew more than me because they had the title of Doctor attached to their name. Being so foreign to how the world of healthcare worked, Laura and I just went along with whatever the doctors or medical professionals directed us to do. They’re the professionals. They know what’s best for me. Right? In the famous words of Lee Corso from GameDay on ESPN, “Not so fast my friend.”

As Laura and I began to navigate this new world called the healthcare system, we found out that the most important voices were our own. If we did not stand up for my medical needs, who else would? That’s when we realized we needed to become not only our own healthcare advocates, but we needed to help other patients walking through their own crazy beautiful health journey. We recognized being a “Professional Patient” was actually a full time job.

Over the years, we have had to privately and sometimes publicly voiced some of my medical concerns. Which is not naturally part of my DNA. Or so I thought. But this is my life and my health we are talking about. As Laura and I have weaved our way through the world of health challenges, here are some of the most important pieces of advice I believe I can offer for those walking through their own health journey.

* Do not wait to speak up and share your thoughts and concerns. You know your body better than anybody else. If something doesn’t feel right or sound right speak up. If your medical team truly cares for you they will welcome this dialogue.

*Do not be afraid to get a second or third opinion. This is your life. We only get one.

*Do not be afraid to change doctors or hospitals if needed. Find a medical team that you truly feel has your best interest at heart.

*Have a great support system that can speak up on your behalf when you are unable to.

*Never stop learning about new treatments and medications that pertain to your health issue. Do not hesitate to share that information with your medical team. Once again, if your medical team cares for your well-being they will welcome those conversations.

*Take the time if your health allows, to help someone else navigate through this overwhelming healthcare system .

*Remember, it’s called practicing medicine for a reason. Your doctor and medical staff are human. Mistakes can happen. Allow those to be a teaching moment for all parties involved. Be kind and respectful, but firm.

*Be patient with yourself and your medical team. The healthcare system can be messy, stressful and complicated. Do not be afraid to show a little grace to yourself and others.

I really hope this helps someone navigating through a maze called the healthcare system. Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate. ~OC

0

Happy New Year!

Today’s a new day! Happy New Year! Welcome to 2025. Not sure about you, but I look forward with great excitement, wondering what God has planned for me this coming new year. What new opportunities will reveal themselves? What new lessons will present themselves? A new year is full of endless possibilities.

As we gear up for a new year, I believe it’s important to take a little time to reflect on the past year. Doing this I believe helps to view each year as a season, understanding that God is Sovereign and has new seasons of experiences and growth to make us more like Him. I can testify 2024 was full of many different emotions. There were moments of grief, but there were also times of joy and happiness. A year filled with many memories and lessons.

As we take some time to reflect back on 2024, it helps us to remember that God is in total control and that we are constantly growing as His children and that He knows the plans He has for each of us. Plans of new wisdom, insight and understanding that He wants to impart to us, if we will allow Him to.

It also gives us an exciting and fresh new outlook of the coming year and enables us to leave the past where it belongs. Not that we forget the past but learn from it and move forward into our present future with open hearts and minds to receive whatever God has for us.

With that said, here are some ways we can look forward to in 2025.

New Beginnings: Start out 2025 with a fresh point of view of new experiences, opportunities, memories and blessings. Have an open mind and heart to where ever God may want to take you with full assurance and confidence that He is always with you. (Matthew 28:19-20)

New Possibilities: There are no limit to what God can do in your life and nothing is impossible with God. God opens doors that no one can shut and also closes doors that no one can open. The possibilities are endless with God. (Philippians 4:13)

New Plans: We walk into 2025 like a blank canvas. Be in prayer for what God has planned for you and be willing to walk by faith in obedience as you follow His leading. Remember that His plans are always for good and not for evil to give you a future and a Hope. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

New Purpose: As you look ahead, God always has a plan and a purpose for what you will go through and experience. Remember that God always has a reason for what He allows in your life and through it you can trust Him completely. (Proverbs 1:3-5)

New Provisions: The Bible says to not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. In 2025, trust in God who knows everything you need. He is our Hope and our Provider. God is faithful and He will do it. (Matthew 6:1-33)

New Growth: When we are willing to let go and let God work in and through us, He will always stretch us and grow us. It is an important part of the growth process. I pray we will all continue to grow in our relationship with God and in His Word. In 2025, allow God to mold you and make you pliable in the potters hand and then watch the master craftsman work in your life in amazing ways.

New Wisdom: With new experiences and new lessons comes new wisdom and insight. Always make it a priority to seek out wisdom as hidden treasure or fine gold. In Proverbs it says that it will be like a garland of grace around your neck and honor you and present you with a crown of splendor. (Proverbs 4:7-9)

Renewed Peace: As you go through new experiences and new adventures whether they are good or bad, my encouragement is to keep your eyes fixed on God and He will give you rest and peace, because He is our peace and loves us and cares for each of us deeply. (John 16:33)

As we spend some time in reflection about 2024, let us give thanks to God for getting us through another year as we look forward to what He has for us in 2025 and praise Him that He is faithful and worthy to be praised. ~OC

0

Don’t Fall For The Lies

Today’s a new day! As a chronically ill Christian, the enemy often tries to sell me the following lie: “My illness and God’s goodness cannot coexist.”

Over the past twenty-two years, multiple life threatening health disease have been my “thorn.”  My body has been attacked on many fronts. Many times early on in my health battle, I remember trying to reconcile my suffering with God’s purpose.

As I pondered my place in God’s eyes, questions of doubt polluted my mind:

What did I do to deserve this illness?

If God actually loves me, why doesn’t he heal me?

How could a broken body fit into God’s plans?

By worldly standards, my value depended on what I could do, instead of what God already did.  For someone who has lived in and out of the hospital for the last two decades, a meaningful life might seem to be an unattainable dream.

Unrooted in God’s word, the presence of my health issues seemed to indicate an absence of His affection.

But friend, this thinking is simply unbiblical.  Let’s dispel this lie by replacing it with God’s truth and equip ourselves with biblical instruction for endurance.

Maybe you don’t struggle with a chronic illness, but we all struggle with chronic issues. Whether you’re dealing with multiple health issues, the scars of life that still plague your mind or the same addiction continues creeping into your life, God tells us that no trial can separate us from His Love. ~Romans 8:35

In fact, our trials might be the very tool God uses to strengthen our relationship with Him.  So, as we think about chronic illness, let’s redirect our thoughts from asking “what could I have done differently to prevent my health issues”, to instead asking, “God, how can you work through my current health issues?”

Two words come to mind when I consider how God can work through our challenges to refine our faith: Reliance and Glory.

1. RELIANCE – God can use our current life challenges to encourage us to rely more fully on Him.

For those struggling to understand why God allows hardship to ensue, the book of Job is a masterpiece written just for us. The Bible describes Job as a faithful man with many blessings.  To test whether Job will still praise God’s name even when his life crumbles, God allows the enemy to wreak havoc on Job’s life – striking his flesh and bones with sickness, infecting him with skin boils, and turning his family away (Job 1:4-9).  Job is not only chronically ill, but also chronically lonely, as his loved ones tell him to just give up and curse His Creator.

Let’s pause right here.  God allows the enemy to test Job.  Now, why would God do this? Among many reasons, God uses suffering as a tool to refine Job’s faith. God knows that it is in the valleys that we are encouraged to truly rely on Him.

Amid adversity, Job’s mind is a battlefield much like our own; his thoughts go between wanting God to leave Him alone and begging for God’s support.  In the end, through his wrestle with God, Job remains faithful that God’s promises are true. He trusts that God loves him in his struggles and is working all things together for good.

As we learn in Job, sometimes God allows for challenges, not to punish us, but to strengthen our relationship with Him.When storms arise, may we trust that God’s plans are purposeful.  This means that whether we are battling a seasonal cold or fighting for our lives after tragedy strikes, God’s loving hand is in everything.

2. HIS GLORY – The contrast of our weakness with His Power emphasizes our need for God.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul describes pleading with the Lord to remove a “thorn in his flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7).  In my own life, my “thorn” represents my health battle.

Jesus addresses Paul’s request by equipping him with endurance and explaining that his struggle has a purpose.  Jesus answers, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My Power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).  In this story, Paul’s struggle serves as a reminder of his inherent inadequacy to our all-powerful God, ultimately pointing to his need for a Savior.

Though God denies Paul’s request for healing, He assures him that His grace will help him endure.  Paul is not blessed with healing, but instead, with a more valuable and versatile blessing: the ability to see God’s light in the darkness of his valley.  God doesn’t leave us to dwell in our struggles, He helps us endure.

God’s response gives hope to those whose prayers seemingly go unanswered.  Next time you ask God to remove your “thorn”, may you remember that a lack of an answer is not evidence of a distant God.  God always responds to our requests; His responses just might differ from what we planned.  No matter the response, if we trust God with our lives, we can be sure that He is working for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

As we learn from Paul’s interaction with God, some of our wounds will only heal once we go home to Heaven, but we can trust that our struggles are a part of a beautiful redemption story.

Let’s look at another example of how God can work through our pain to reveal His Power.  In John 9, Jesus is walking around town with His disciples when they spot a man who is blind from birth.  Jesus’ disciples ask him a question that might sound like one you’ve asked yourself before: “who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” (John 9:2).  Sound familiar? The disciples mistakenly assume that this man’s disability is due to his personal sin.

Jesus corrects the disciples, responding, “neither this man nor his parents sinned…This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him” (John 9:3).  With this declaration, Jesus dispels the lie that the only purpose for our trials is punishment, and He communicates that our trials can be used to display God’s power.

Jesus then heals the blind man, confirming his belief and establishing an eternal relationship.

Before his healing, we can’t be sure of how this man’s disability affected his self-esteem, but he might have believed some of the same lies that often ravage our minds.  When measuring himself against societal standards, he very well could have attributed his disability to a distant God.  However, when Jesus enters the scene, it becomes clear that this man’s disability was the very tool God utilized to strengthen his relationship with Him. 

As we reflect on these stories, the Word illuminates God’s heart for the chronically ill: God has a purpose for our pain, His love does not waver, and He will work all things together for good, even the messy parts of our lives.

God does not promise to remove our thorns, but He does promise to help us endure.  Whatever your thorn looks like, may you remember that God provides a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).

Throughout my battle with multiple health issues, medical mysteries, and shattered plans, one verse has sparked hope in my soul: “We do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:12).

Friend, however deep your thorns dig, may you never give up. Keep overcoming and finish strong. ~OC

1

A Day In The Life

Today’s a new day! Ever wondered what a day living with chronic illness and health challenges looks like? Today I will take you on a journey into the twist and turns of a day living with long-term health issues.

From the moment I wake up, I’m already facing barriers. My chronic illnesses make it difficult to get going. For those not aware, based on my health issues, I have slept in a recliner for about the past twenty years. It’s just too hard to get in and out of a bed. Every day is a balancing act where I have to be mindful of my energy levels and make sure that I’m taking time to rest. 

An Introduction To My Health Journey:

In 2002, I was diagnosed with multiple forms of arthritis. That year was filled with a lot of experimental treatments. Then in 2003, I was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully I was able to have surgery to remove the tumor and never had to walk through the struggle of chemo and radiation. Let’s speed things up. From 2007-2024, I have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis, Type 2 Diabetes based on all the steroids, had a stroke, diagnosed with cluster headaches and just a few months ago was diagnosed with early onset dementia. That’s my rap sheet!

What My Night and Morning Looks Like :

Based on my neurological issues, I am up and down most of the night. So I never wake up feeling rested. I wake up stiff, so I need to move around and take a host of medications in the morning. Of course meds have side effects, so that can be difficult.

Since I deal with gastroparesis, eating has been a major issue for many years. That makes taking in fluids and food a huge and painful task. So every meal, every day is an adventure.

My mornings are dedicated to spending time with God, journaling and trying to exercise. For me, walking is the best type of exercise for me. I never know how many laps I will be able to get in. I have to be careful not to overdo it. If I do overdo it, my body will pay for it the rest of the day. I spend some time each day for reflecting on life and looking at how I can hopefully encourage others as I continue running this journey. These days, I tend to take a lot of short cat naps. Over the last year, the pain has increased, so that’s a daily struggle. Unfortunately, pain meds and gastroparesis do not really care for each other. So most days, I just live with the pain.

One thing I choose to do everyday is get dressed. I never lay around in my sleeping clothes. It makes me feel good to get cleaned up and get dressed.

My favorite part of any day is spending time with my bride and friends that choose to reach out. Spending time with loved ones is very important to me. I love sitting around and enjoying great conversations. Also, I try to read every day. My love for reading has been challenging the last few years, since it’s hard to stay concentrated. I also spend time listening to music each day. Music can make everything a little bit better.

In the evening, Laura and I like to talk about our day and possibly watch a little television. Based on my day, my bedtime varies. But since I sleep in my recliner, I can fall asleep anytime my body and brain allows me to. Every night is an adventure.

What I consider a daily self-care must do:

Writing about what I’m grateful for in my journal helps me remember the positives, even on those really hard days. Living with long-term health conditions can be exhausting and can be very negative if you allow it to get on top of you. 

Several people have asked if I had one day without pain and could step away from my health journey what would I do?

I would lace up my running shoes and go for a very long run. For those new to my journey, in my healthier days I was blessed to complete 350 marathons.

Another question people asked me a lot: Is there anything I would like to share about daily living with chronic illness and life challenges?

There’s a lot, but I do not want to make this post any longer than it already is. One of my hopes is, people will realise that we never know what someone else is really going through. So be kind and respectful. It doesn’t help when people tell me how I should be living out my health journey. Just be supportive and walk through this journey with me.

By sharing what my day to day life is like, I hope I can raise awareness of the bigger picture as people only see snippets of my journey online or see me on my best days in person. I am not sharing this for pity or sympathy and I am not complaining. I just want to give you some insight into this crazy beautiful health journey.

The Takeaway:

Writing about my day living with chronic health issues has been quite eye opening to me to see how much life has changed over the years. I have a strong need to celebrate the love and support I have received over the years from family and friends. Writing this post has let me see how faithful God has been to me, as I continue to run this beautiful journey.

I hope that you have found this post to be a helpful insight into life with with long-term health issues. There are so many people walking through a tougher battle than me. So if you know someone dealing with chronic illness, take the time to reach out to them and support them on their journey. ~OC

2

The Empty Seat

Today’s a new day! As I wake up on this Christmas Eve, my thoughts turn to those walking through hard times this holiday season. On this day before Christmas, some are experiencing their first Christmas season with an empty chair at the table.

This year like so many, I have experienced the loss of loved ones.

The loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, sibling, niece, nephew, friend or the tragic loss of a child creates a hole begging to be filled and a seat at the table that will remain empty.

At times these precious family members may feel deserted. By God, by life, by family and friends who don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

So what do you do for someone who is grieving on what should be one of the merriest days of the year?

I pray the following helps.

1) Your presence and words matter

Saying I can’t imagine…

Nothing more. Nothing less. Those words embrace them, their loss, and their pain, showing you care. Deeply. And you are there, for them, with them, regardless of the pain it causes you to share in theirs.

When we add words after I can’t imagine, we are likely to add our own emotions, thoughts and feelings. Just simply acknowledge their feelings, pain and loss.

I can’t imagine…yet I care. Simply be with them.

2) Say the name of their lost loved one. Hearing the name of that precious person matters and makes a difference in the healing process. Avoiding speaking the name actually hurts everyone there, so share stories, cry and laugh as you recall the amazing life of a loved one.

So say their name…

3) Pull out the pictures! Sometimes the best gift and step to healing is going through old photos or videos. The gift of beautiful memories. Never letting their life be forgotten.

He comforts us. He heals the broken hearted. God is good, even when situations are not, God is. ~Psalm 56:8

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3

So pull up a chair to the table, set a plate and name card for the one who is no longer there and let the stories and memories flow.

Let us honor the ones who have simply gone before us to where we want to be when it’s our turn – dancing and praising in the presence of Jesus.

There is hope in the midst of the sadness. We will see our loved ones again and that is worth celebrating.

On this Christmas Eve, I am thankful God sent His one and only Son Jesus to pave the way for each one of us who love Him. Yes, we miss the ones who have gone before us and left their seat at our table empty, yet we celebrate they are in Heaven. Seated with Jesus at the Heavenly Christmas Table. ~OC

0

Count It All Joy

Today’s a new day! Do you sometimes have a hard time counting it all joy during the storms of life? I think we all have had those moments. You might be dealing with financial issues, employment issues, housing issues, family issues or health issues. How in the world could you find joy in all the pain and heartbreak?

One of the lessons I have learned during my crazy beautiful health journey, is that God will use these storms to help build our faith. Will we continue to stand firm in our faith when things look hopeless?

I’ve learned that my faith is like a muscle. The more I use it the stronger my faith grows. God continues to amaze me in ways I could never have imagined. God has used my health issues to strengthen my faith and to help others going through their own storms.

There have been some tough days during this journey and more to come, but I continue to see God providing my every need.

I pray as you make it through the storm you’re facing, you will know God on a deeper level and you will have more joy and peace than you know what to do with. ~OC

1

Life Takes A Village

Today’s a new day! As the holidays are just a few days away, I encourage everyone to not forget about those loved ones going through loss this season. Whether the loss of a loved one happened a few days ago or decades ago, the pain is still real. Going through the grieving process can be a very dark and difficult time for a person. However, it is also hard for the loved ones of this individual. Family members and friends often struggle to find the best ways to be supportive. Plus, the holiday season can make this process that much more challenging.

If you are the loved one of a grieving individual, understanding the stages in this process is an important place to start, but there are also many genuine things you can do to show your love and help.

Reach out to them. Most grieving people find it hard to take initiative and reach out to others. You can help by doing this for them. Stay connected with them via visits, phone calls, text, email or video chat. Make sure you are still checking in on them in the months following their loss, when fewer people are doing so.

Find ways to help. Come up with specific tasks you can assist with. Volunteer to drop off pre-made dinners so they don’t have to worry about cooking. Check and see if you can run errands for them. See if there is any house or yard work they need assistance with. Maybe they just need you to sit with them.

Don’t be afraid to say their name.To share stories. Those grieving can be concerned that their loved one will be forgotten by others. Therefore, don’t be afraid to mention the loved one’s name and to share stories about the person. Those stories may bring some tears, but they could also bring some much needed laughs.

This holiday season will be tough for many this year, so take the time to reach out to them and let them know you care. Life takes a village. ~OC

1

Thoughts and Prayers Are Not Enough

Here I am again, writing about another school shooting in America. This is getting old and more frustrating. When will America wake up and realize that common sense gun laws and more mental health resources are needed to help curb this type of violence?

I also offer the following challenge to those politicians and decision makers who will share their “thoughts and prayers” with the families. Please don’t, if there is no action behind those sentiments. Instead, express the actual thoughts you are thinking and the actual prayers you are praying. I mean that quite literally. They are far more meaningful than an empty worthless phrase that is really designed to ease our own discomfort and let us off the hook from having to do anything.

And then match your actions with your prayers and your thoughts. That’s how it works.

If you need an example of how this works, here’s my own personal example. After one of the school shootings earlier this year I lamented to God, saying something “How long oh Lord? How long? I’m so tired of the empty rhetorical cycle that happens after a shooting. A shooting happens, then “thoughts and prayers” which no one actually seems to do, then a pointless debate in which people talk over each other, and then nothing changes. Enough! This cannot keep going on. Amen.”

Please understand, I believe in the power of prayer. But if there is no action behind those prayers, what is the point.

I know even with common sense gun laws and more mental health resources there is a chance that school shootings could still happen, but I truly believe we would see less of these tragic events.

In the end, I just want “thoughts and prayers” to actually mean something and lead to real change. ~OC

0

Take Heart

Today’s a new day! One of my favorite verses is “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33.

What does that verse really mean? One of the biggest lies many Christians are told when they start following God is everything will be perfect and they will never deal with the storms of life. That if God is on our side, nothing can go wrong, and all it takes is a quick prayer to get us out of a sticky situtation. Just like a sitcom on tv. All is good in 30 minutes. But we live in reality and we know that’s far from the truth.

Nowhere in the Bible are we promised a perfect life on earth. Life will be filled with struggles. We will all experience challenges along our journey. Those challenges will look different for each of us. Some will deal with health issues. Sometimes those health challenges will last a lifetime.

The point is that even though we all experience challenges in this journey called life, Jesus has overcome the world. As I mentioned earlier, we will encounter painful moments in this world, but there is a world beyond this world. A place called Heaven, where we will experience peace and wholeness. A place where there is no pain, disease, war, hatred or confusion. Heaven is paradise.

When I experience moments of hopelessness with my own health, I take a moment to think about God’s goodness and promises. I also take time to remember that I need God more today than I did yesterday. I may not understand everything going on in my crazy beautiful health journey, but God does. And for that I am thankful.

I am often asked why would God allow me to walk through so many years of suffering? Of course I do not have all the answers, but I have chosen to trust God in the mist of the storms. To look for every opportunity to help encourage everyone walking through their own challenges. I have decided not to spend all my precious moments researching Google looking for the latest medical or natural cures.

I’ve accepted that I will never fully understand every inner working of my body at any given moment. No one has it all figured out. Not even the medical world. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do everything in my power to pray and strive for better health. It just means I will not become consumed by my current health challenges. They are not my true identity.

Nothing gives me more peace and comfort than my relationship with God. Just like any personal relationship takes work and trust the same goes for our relationship with God. It’s a daily commitment. In life we so often stumble for answers. We jump from different diets, different relationships and different careers looking for the answer and looking for a way to make us feel good and worthy. There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but nothing will ever give us as much peace and purpose than a relationship with God and the knowledge that even though the storms of life can be hard, He has already overcome the world.

I know this was a long post, but I pray it brings you hope as you walk through the ups and downs of life. Blessings to all. ~OC

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑