Between the Mourning and Tears

Today’s a new day! Another mass shooting in America. More tears. More pain. One more community devastated by gun violence. One less person at the dinner table. When will America wake up?

As I digest yet another senseless act of gun violence in America, I have to examine my own life and asked what can I do to be a positive light in a dark world?

As a Christian, I am called to remember that God chose to enter a time as violent and faithless as our own and that the light of God cannot, will not, shall not ever be overcome by the darkness of this world. What will I do with the light I have been given in the healing life, witness, death and resurrection of Jesus? Will I stare at the flame and pretend I don’t see the darkness around me? Or will I carry God’s call to put down my sword, love my enemy, and pray for those who bring harm to the world?

But I must confess; in the light of another mass shooting, sometimes it feels like what can I really do to help? The situation feels overwhelming. l long for more help, for God to come in a new and powerful way. That His love will act like a consuming fire that will burn up all the ugliness— all the negativity that mares the beauty that I know is here. Sometimes the most honest and faithful prayer I can lift up to God for America is, “Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us, because we are sorely hindered by our shortcomings, let your bountiful grace and mercy help and deliver us.”

But, we must all stand up and take action. Some of these actions will be individual and some will involve working with other people. Some of the discernment about what should be done will happen alone, in prayer, and some of it will happen in a crowded room of people who are disagreeing, respectfully, about our next steps on gun violence and other issues that are effecting our little piece of the world. But together we must press for discussion, debate, and action on the issues facing our communities. Mournful silence is an option, but only if we sinfully close ourselves off to God’s clamoring in our hearts to be part of the change.

So in between those cries for God to come, to save us in ways we cannot, we are free to make choices, each day to make a difference. We know what human beauty would look like, what it would sounds like. So why don’t we let it have its moment? ~OC

Here We Are Again

Here We Are Again. Another school shooting in America. Lives lost and families changed forever. Another day of violence against students and school staff at a place that should be safe. Violence as they laughed, talked about their weekend, their hopes and dreams. Another day of senseless violence and death.

Another day that we have seen played out too often across America. Another day of politicians stepping up and offering their thoughts and prayers. I for one, am tired of hearing these tired and worn out thoughts and prayers. We’ve heard them over and over again, with no action behind them. We will just have to hold our breath until another school shooting happens. And unfortunately, it will happen again. And again.

Just like after every other school shooting, we will hear two different views.

The first will be from parents, students and concerned citizens that as a nation we need to step up and create meaningful and common sense gun legislation. That we should learn from this latest school shooting and never allow it to happen again. Something so many have been working for since we heard those frightening words Breaking News: School shooting at Columbine High School in 1999. That was twenty-five years ago.

The second view, will be people expressing anger that people would call for accountability and change before the blood has even been cleaned off the floors and walls. And the appropriate response in the moment is “thoughts and prayers.” These are typically the same people who fiercely defend gun rights. Who appear more concerned about their 2nd Amendment rights than the lives lost in these senseless school killings.

And why is it, that a great number of those worried about their gun rights are Christians. Before I continue, let me share that I am part of the Christian community. But I cannot sit around in silence and listen to my brothers and sisters in Christ once again yell the loudest about their gun rights and refusal to have meaningful conversations about real change when it comes to gun laws. And let me make this clear, I am not advocating for the end of the second amendment. My question is why aren’t Christians the loudest ones calling for laws that would protect innocent lives? They certainly are not shy or quiet about calling for laws to protect the unborn. Isn’t all life sacred? Is it possible that some people are more concerned about their guns than they are for people? Could it be possible that this love of guns and commitment to making sure they always have as much firepower in their hands as they want, reveals that there is a spiritual problem driving gun violence in America and that we the people are at the heart of that problem?

As Jesus walked the earth, he creatively demonstrated what non-violence can look like in the face of a cruel and violent world. He taught us what it means to stand within the world but not be of the world. Jesus taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Maybe we just don’t believe him.

As we experience another school shooting, people will express anger and advocate for sensible gun legislation, and other people will condemn that anger and call for thoughts and prayers instead.  Every time there is a school shooting, we watch this same series of responses play out on social media and across political aisles like some well-rehearsed script we’ve all agreed to follow. This production is getting old. Gun violence has become as American as apple pie and baseball. And personally I am pretty sick and tired of it.

Students, teachers and school staff are dying simply by going to school. Over and over. Some people grieve by way of tears and silence. Some grieve by way of anger, shaking their fists and crying out “why?” I can hear the psalmists in the first response and the prophets in the latter.

Our response to school shootings or any type of violence, like so many issues that polarize us is shaped by our life experiences to the degree one is willing to forego individual liberty for the common good. When “our rights” have greater value than what is good for the community as a whole, I have to wonder how we got here. In scripture, Jesus repeatedly calls us to put our selfishness aside for the good of our neighbor and for the good of our community.

In the wake of another school shooting, my heart would break again if as a nation, we failed to advocate on behalf of victims of gun violence or call for laws that value human life and the common good. Together we are the body and the voices that speak vision for a better and safer world. So therefore, we have a responsibility to relentlessly press towards that vision.

I do not believe anyone can honestly say we do not have a gun problem in America. In my humble view, both action and prayer can be appropriate ways to respond. But prayer alone, without action has literally never worked to bring healing to the problems of the this world.

When we experience a school shooting we should shed our tears. We should pray. But we must speak out against the violence and killing that continues to destroy our country. We must say no to the madness. ~OC

No Masks

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I embrace my own brokenness. And through that brokenness, I walk in grace. The trials of life reinforce my need for God. I will continue to run in beautiful transparency without wearing a mask to hide the pain and scars of this crazy beautiful journey. To truly live out this journey being who I was created to be. ~OC

Thank You!

As I write this, Laura is fast asleep, her day will be filled with one thing after another. So I want to jot a few words that could never really approach an accurate measure of the gratitude I have that for the last 25 years, I have gotten to call her my bride.

I have heard many people give marriage advice over the years. But the best advice I can give any couple is to keep God at the center of your marriage and that your spouse becomes your best friend.

Today, Laura and I celebrate our 25th anniversary. And while I could wax poetic about love, commitment, romance, and other things that people associate with married couples, I want to thank my bride for the things that keep me glued to her, the small things that define why the man I see in the mirror today – despite no hair, the wrinkles and the body a little more worn out, is a better man than I was 25 years ago.

Thank you for always being my best friend, confidant and sounding board.

Thank you for smiling at me from across the room in a crowd of people to let me know that you still know I am there.

Thank you for being the first person I want to call to talk about a personal victory that might be small in the eyes of others, but monumental to me.

Thank you for being the first person I want to share my thoughts and writing with you.

Thank you for being my rockstar, chauffeur and health advocate over the years.

Thank you for always telling me the truth.

Thank you for sharing all the road trips with me and doing most of the driving.

Thank you for allowing me to be a collector of books and hats.

Thank you for helping me finish my thoughts. As my health declines and my thoughts are harder to find, you always make it a little easier.

Thank you for reminding me to eat and take in fluids.

Thank you for telling me to go to the doctor when I am just tired of going.

Thank you for seeing how tired I get in social settings and making sure I do not overdo it.

Thank you for finding so much in life to laugh at and with.

Thank you for your relentless pursuit in making our life better.

Thank you for laughing at and getting my dark sense of humor. I am thankful for your dark sense of humor.

Thank you for being the most selfless person I know.

And thank you for making me want to be a better man, not because of some expectation that you may have of me, but because I want to become a better man.

Thank you for showing patience as I walk through this health journey.

As we celebrate our 25th Anniversary, I love you more today than the day we said “I do.” Happy Anniversary! ~OC

Friends

Today’s a new day! I believe we would all agree that good friendships add value to our lives. Great friends can bring out the best in us.

But sadly, we have all experienced moments in life where friends let us down. Those can be tough moments to walk through.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have felt the sting of friends deciding to walk way. Those moments can lead to some of the deepest pain in life. It can be easy to get bitter about the way those friends treated me.

When walking through those moments of loss, it can feel good to get angry in those times of hurt. But by holding on to those painful moments we can end up dealing with long-term trauma. When we look at Ephesians 4:31, we read about getting rid of bitterness and anger. By allowing those harmful emotions to take hold in our lives like nasty weeds, we could potentially cut ourselves off from valuable friendships.

But when we decide to mix forgiveness with honest and open communications we can help to alleviate the pain we feel and can help walk us down the road to recovering our friendship.

In Matthew 18:22, Peter asked Jesus how often we should forgive our brother. Peter thought he was being generous when he offered to forgive his brother seven times in one day. According to human thinking, that would be quite generous, but Jesus had a different answer: “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” What?

Jesus point was not to count up to 490 offenses and then stop forgiving the one who asks for forgiveness, but to forgive always. Forgiveness should be our state of mind. It should flow from our hearts. Just as God is merciful with us when we repent, we should be merciful to others.

When friends disappoint us, mercy is not always our first reaction, but it is a response that we must learn and practice. It is important to keep perspective and recognize that we are not always perfect friends.

In this journey called life, we have definitely disappointed our friends and how did we want to be treated in those moments? A good principle to remember is given in Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When we keep in mind our own shortcomings, it is much easier to extend mercy and grace to others.

Before Peter asked about forgiveness, Jesus gave instructions about what to do when our friends let us down. In Matthew 18:15-20, the topic of when our friends disappoint us is addressed.

The first step is to go to our friend privately and address the issue. Hopefully they will respond positively, and further steps will not be needed.

The key to going to our friends is that we must do so in love. In Proverbs 17:17 we read, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother and sister is born for adversity.” Without first being willing to forgive our friend and striving to remember our love for them, we run the risk of making matters worse. Our hurt feelings and disappointments may come out in anger and drive our friends away.

I believe friends are to hold each other accountable. Solomon wrote about this in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” The point is not to tear each other apart, but to build each other up and hopefully make our relationship even stronger.

Once we have truly forgiven our friends and reached out to them, then the responsibility is on them to respond. Hopefully their response will be positive, and the problem will be resolved. But if not, we will have peace in knowing that we have done everything in our power to make amends.

There is joy that can come in gaining a friend back, but recognize that doesn’t always happen overnight. As time moves forward, our responsibility is to not allow disappointment to generate bitterness, but to replace that disappointment with love, grace and forgiveness. ~OC

Happy 25th!

Today, Laura and I are celebrating our 25th Wedding Anniversary. When you start out on this journey called marriage, your 25th anniversary seems so far away. But, as many people told us as newlyweds, time flies when you are having fun and it sure does.

We met at a singles event along the walking trail in Palm Beach, FL in January 1999. We enjoyed some great conversation and laughs, but we both did not walk away thinking that’s the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. No, that would come a little later. But not much later. But we took those first few months to pray and get to know each other better.

So in April of 1999, we got engaged. I told you it was not much later. Then on September 3,1999, we both took vows to love, respect and cherish each other for the rest of our days. Oh, we also committed to love each other through sickness and health. Little did we know what was ahead of us in that area of our marriage. I think Laura drew the short stick on that one.

As many of you know, just a few years into our marriage my health started to decline. What we thought would be a short story of overcoming health issues, has turned into a twenty-two year and counting crazy beautiful journey. One that has drastically changed our marriage and our lives. But I believe Laura would agree, it has made our marriage and our lives stronger.

As we have walked this crazy health journey, we have been surrounded by some amazing family and friends. Some of those friends have been part of our love story from the very beginning. I am so thankful for their support during our journey and for having them share in so many special moments with us over the last 25 years.

The past 25 years have been filled with some tough moments. We have dealt with issues most couples will never deal with or at least not until they’re later years. We have been told countless times, that I would not make it for another 24 hours. We have celebrated countless holidays with me in the hospital. But through all of those tough moments, we dealt with them together. And we laughed. One of the promises I made to Laura on the day we got married, was I would make her laugh every day. Even through the storms of life, I am happy to say I have kept that promise. As Laura and I have traveled this journey we realize that marriage is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. We have made our marriage a priority and kept God at the center.

As we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary today, we count it all joy for the amazing journey God has allowed us to experience together. We know every day and every anniversary is a gift. A gift we never take for granted. So today, we will spend some time reflecting, celebrating and laughing. Always laughing. Together. ~OC

Partisan Politics

Today’s a new day! There are several things I dislike about the blending of politics and the Christian community. I could write a series of books on that topic. One of those issues is when some in the Christian community refer to an opposing candidate or political party as “The Enemy.” Really? The enemy? Do you realize you probably have more in common with that “enemy” than you have differences. By using such language we’re potentially missing out on a great friendship because of politics. God’s heart must break when he sees this happening among his children.

I truly believe Christians can vote, engage in respectful political conversations, and be passionate about policies and issues. I think lively and respectful discussions make us better people. But, when we engage in political conversations, we should avoid engaging in partisan politics.

What does the dictionary say about the word Partisan? “A feeling, showing, or deriving from strong and sometimes blind adherence to a particular party, faction, cause, or person.”

One of the problems with partisan loyalty, is often those strong opinions about a particular political affiliation becomes core to a person’s identity. For instance, when we fall into the partisan trap, we do not simply agree with Democrats or Republicans on certain issues, “Democrat” or “Republican” becomes fundamental to how we think of ourselves. Similarly, ideological perspectives, such as “Progressive” or “Conservative,” can also become cornerstones of our identity.

Partisan beliefs sometimes become fixated on a political leader. Our loyalty gets directed to the person who leads the party, embodies the party’s values, or seems capable of saving the party from opponents. That strong and sometimes blind adherence can be concentrated on one particular person.

So, what happens when we give our loyalty to a politician, a party, or an ideological group? What are some of the negative effects of partisanship?

Our values become shaped by culture and not by our faith. For Christians, partisanship often begins with genuine Christian motivation. We find that one party seems to align with biblical values on a particular issue or policy. Perhaps it is a concern for the poor or a concern for the unborn. It could be a biblical stance on sexual ethics or justice for people wrongly accused of crime. This desire to support a party that supports biblical values is admirable.

However, political parties are a mixed bag. No political party aligns completely with kingdom interests, values, and priorities. When we develop a strong and sometimes blind adherence to a political party, that party can begin to shape our values.

Sadly, many are towing the party line rather than holding fast to the truth of scripture. They have abandoned the historic Christian view on war, wealth, poverty, ethnicity, sexuality, or something else…and we don’t even know it. They have allowed a party platform, rather than the Holy Spirit, to shape their views.

Because we agree with a party on issue X, we blindly assume that party must also be right on issue Y. This is a dangerous and harmful assumption.

Sadly the world is currently filled with anger and division. That’s because the partisan spirit is a spirit of division. When we have a strong and sometimes blind adherence to a particular side, we tend to assume everyone on the other side is foolish, evil, or both. We do not see political opponents as people to listen to, understand, empathize with, and love. No, we see them as enemies to silence and defeat. As Christians, we go so far as to doubt someone can truly be a Christian if they vote for the other party.

Partisanship often becomes so severe that fear and hatred of the other side becomes a test of camaraderie. The question we implicitly ask friends and family is not just, “Do you share my convictions?” but rather, “Do you share my outrage?” If someone is not as angry and upset as we are, that person becomes suspect in our eyes. Perhaps they aren’t one of us if they do not share our anger and outrage.

That sort of angry, fearful, and outraged partisanship is not only dividing us from our neighbors, but also from our brothers and sisters in Christ. It ought to be obvious how many Christian principles this violates: “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. (Luke 6:27), “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” (Colossians 3:8), or Titus 3:2 which states “to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”

Our neighbors are not our enemies. The devil is our enemy (Ephesians 6:11-12). Our neighbors are not issues to be solved, opponents to defeat, or enemies to be conquered. They are people to be loved and cared for. Even when we strongly disagree with them, even when they are far from God, they are people to be loved.

Pride and double standards can create even further division. Strategically, it makes sense to exaggerate the faults, shortcomings of the other team, while minimizing our own. We see this all the time in partisan politics. There is moral outrage over something said or done in the party across the aisle but complete silence or excuses when the same thing happens on our side of the aisle.

On both ends of the political spectrum, people demand the impeachment and even imprisonment of politicians for unethical behavior. However, when one of our own is caught doing the same thing, we rally around them in solidarity and support. If someone objects, “Isn’t this just like when so-and-so did this?” we question that person’s loyalty. “Whose side are you on anyway?” we ask defensively.

Criticism of our side is not allowed. We are afraid it will give ammunition to the folks across the aisle. So, regardless of what our political tribe does, we think we must remain loyal.

This sort of behavior bleeds over into other areas of our lives and leads to a twisted form of Christianity. It leads us to ignore the logs in our eyes and search for the specks in the eyes of others. Of course, this is the opposite of what Jesus taught us to do (Matthew 7:1-5).

Partisan politics teaches us to think like the Pharisee in Jesus’ parable, “God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11). What if we replaced “tax collector” with a modern political term? Do we pride ourselves that we are not like those across the aisle?

There can be a time to criticize, but as Christians we should begin with ourselves and not our “opponents.” We should be working on our own faults instead of pointing fingers at others.


As I shared in the beginning, none of this is to say a Christian shouldn’t vote, support a particular candidate, be passionate about certain issues, or even prefer one party over another. However, this is a reminder about loyalty because it’s too easy to fall into partisan politics.

We must all be aware that there is a danger when we give our allegiance to a particular group or person. Our values, priorities, and perspectives will be shaped by that allegiance. We can fool ourselves into believing that we “think for ourselves.” However, like it or not, we are social creatures and we are shaped by our group loyalty.

As Christians, our loyalty and allegiance should belong to God. We must remember that our true family or tribe is much bigger than America, political party, ethnic group, or ideological views. The things of this world will always be competing for our loyalty, but we must resist those temptations.

On several occasions, the apostles rebuked partisanship in the first-century church. The answer to partisanship is Paul’s words to the Galatian churches, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).

So let’s walk into this political season with our eyes fixed on love, serving others and keeping our eyes on the real prize. A Heavenly reward. ~OC

Morning Prayer

Dear Lord, we humbly approach you with hearts overflowing with thankfulness and praise. Your boundless love and mercy and your enduring faithfulness fills us with awe. We are grateful for the precious gift of life; for every breath we take and for every heartbeat. Lord, we thank you for all the blessings you have generously given. We are thankful for the people you have brought into our lives. We are deeply grateful for the precious gift of your son, Jesus Christ. We humbly seek your forgiveness for the times we have fallen short and for the moments we overlook the blessings you have granted us. We commit to follow you with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength.
Lord, we humbly ask for your healing touch in every aspect of our lives – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Heal all illnesses, Lord, all diseases, and all weaknesses in our bodies. Mend every emotional wound and soothe every heartache, and heal every trauma. Lord, renew our minds and transform them through your word and fill us with your peace. We ask for your protection over our lives, and the lives of our loved ones. Lord, shield us from every deception and every trap set by the enemy toward any spirit that enters our lives with intentions to harm, to steal, and to destroy. Provide us, Lord, with your peace and safeguard us in times of turmoil by your grace and mercy. We pray all this in Jesus Name.

I Am A…..

Today’s a new day! Over the last few years, when people ask me if I am a Christian I hesitate for just a second. It’s not that I am ashamed of being a follower of Jesus, but so many Christians have given the word “Christian “ a bad name. So I usually answer by sharing my Mission Statement for Life which states, “I am a flawed individual chasing after Jesus.”

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John‬ ‭1‬:‭12‬ ‭

When I was ten years old, I asked Jesus to come into my life and was baptized. For years I would refer to myself as a Christian when asked. But in the last few years, the word “Christian” has been hijacked by a certain segment of the Christian community that looks nothing like the Jesus I read about in the Bible. So personally, I need to make the distinction between Christian and a person running after Jesus.

Because when people look at my faith, I do not want them seeing a judgmental, close minded Christian that is sadly so prevalent in the Christian community these days. No, I want anyone that God brings my way, to see someone who loves and respects people right where they’re at in life. I want to build relationships that go far beyond any differences we may have. I pray people walk away from their interaction with me feeling loved and encouraged. Also maybe with a better understanding of Jesus, who gave all on the Cross for all of us. ~OC

Dear God, It’s Me Again

Today’s a new day! Dear God, in this moment of stillness and reflection we humbly come before Your presence with hearts full of faith, hope, love and trust. We thank You for the countless blessings You have bestowed upon us, and for Your unwavering love that guides us through every season of life. Lord, as we humbly stand at the threshold of this journey we surrender our fears and doubts into Your capable hands. We trust that Your plans for us are far greater than we can fathom. Dear Lord, fill our hearts with unwavering faith that even in the midst of challenges we will not falter. You have promised that You will never leave us nor forsake us. May this truth resonate within us, allowing us to humbly rise above any circumstances that may come our way. We ask that You help us anchor our hope and faith in Your promises knowing that Your word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. In moments of problems, remind us of Your unchanging nature. We ask that Your love and Grace continue to shine upon us. In Your precious name we pray. Amen. ~OC

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