Tag: Prayer

Thankfulness While Grieving

Today’s a new day! Today is also Thanksgiving Day. I have many things to be thankful for, but I am also grieving the death of a loved one. This has been a hard week.

It can be difficult to be thankful when you’re in a season of grieving. When you experience the loss of a loved one you begin to wonder if you will ever feel happy again. It is hard to be thankful when you are hurting. The Bible is not silent on the issue of suffering. The Bible is full of scriptures and stories about suffering.

Giving thanks to God during times of grief is difficult, but not impossible. In fact, it is one of the best ways of progressing towards hope while you are grieving. How can you be thankful during times of grief? I believe Remembering , Reflecting , and Rejoicing can guide us through a season of loss and grief.

First, take time to remember. Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. Do not doubt in the darkness what you have clearly seen in the light. One of the results of the grieving process is that our minds become absorbed with that one thing. It is so important that you force yourself to remember key foundational truths about God. Remember that He loves you. Remember that He is in control. Remember that He is always working good; even in the bad circumstances. While grieving, you may not want to hear someone quote Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” But, remember that it is true. 

Second, take time to reflect. Reflect on your current situation, but do not dwell on it. What’s the difference between reflecting and dwelling? Think of it like a house. When you dwell in a house you live in it. Dwelling on the cause of your grief is like going back to the situation and living there as you relive it over and over. When you reflect, you think deeply and carefully about something. Going back to the house illustration, rather than dwelling in the house, you sit outside the house and look in. Reflecting is different because it gives you time to grieve and realize that your life has changed and there will be a new reality moving forward.

Remember, there is no set timeframe for you to stop grieving. Please hear that. Grief has no timeline. In one sense, you will never stop grieving until you are given your new body and dwelling with God in Heaven. The purpose in grieving well is not to stop grieving, but to begin grieving with hope.

When we are grieving we are overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions are powerful and have great control over us, so we are told in the Bible to take control of them. We do this by guarding our heart. Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” The heart is the essence of who we are. It is more than just emotions. It is the command center of your life. It directs our emotions.

Through grief and mourning we must remember to guard our hearts.

Third, take time to rejoice. In the middle of your mourning, allow your heart and mind to remember some of the beautiful moments and memories. That can be difficult in the midst of a loss or a difficult season in life. But the fact that God has brought us this new day means that we can rejoice and be glad in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. This verse does not teach us that every circumstance is good, but that God is good. This is not always easy, but we must continue to lean into this truth.

So today take some time to Remember, Reflect, Rejoice

*Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. 

*Reflect and give yourself time to grieve. Guard your heart so that you do not believe lies but trust God.

*Rejoice in the Lord who is powerfully and purposefully at work.

If you are grieving, trust God. Consider the story of Martha from John 11. Martha had just lost her brother and was grieving. When she saw Jesus she said to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). Martha then said something very profound. Martha said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You” (John 11:22). Martha serves as an example of a godly person hurting yet trusting. So today, allow God to help you give thanks in all circumstances on this Thanksgiving Day. ~OC

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Choose Joy

Today’s a new day! I have learned through the storms of life that joy and happiness are things we have to become intentional about. It’s about the decisions we make moment by moment.

So many people allow everyday joy to escape them because they are focused on what they don’t like, what their lacking, and what is broken. Easy to do. We can allow our circumstances and comparing ourselves to others to rob of us of happiness and joy. What I have learned through my own life storms is when I want to have a pity party, is that the best use of my time. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I have chosen to find the things that I am grateful for as I navigate through the crashing waves.

One of the most positive things I have ever done in my life is to journal and share my story. What has been so interesting and encouraging is hearing the feedback back from those walking through their own battles. As I have heard the inspiring stories of others, I have been filled with gratitude. My circumstances may have not changed, but I did. I chose a new way of looking at life.

I have had the privilege of praying with people during the worst moments of their lives. But instead of being caught up in the negativity of the moment, they were filled with joy. How can that be? I honestly believe that joy is less circumstantial and more an inward reality that is fueled from a heart of faith and gratitude. People that choose to live with more hope and joy view life differently. Peace, Hope and Joy become a lifestyle. They embrace and savor every moment of life.

In these challenging times when there is so much negative news swirling around us, it’s so important for us to take care of ourselves and those around us. We need to laugh, have fun, take a trip and embrace some joy breaks along this journey called life. I encourage everyone to find joy by making time for it and becoming intentional about it. Choose joy and choose it every day. ~OC

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Forgiveness

In Matthew 6:9-15 we read the following words:

Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is just one of many lessons Jesus taught us about unforgiveness. He shared on numerous occasions about not allowing unforgiveness to reside in our hearts. God shared those who refuse to forgive others will not be forgiven by the Father. Be careful not to misunderstand Jesus’ meaning here. We do not lose our salvation when we refuse to forgive others. Rather, we break fellowship with God because an unrepentant attitude interferes with regular confession and turning away from sin.

Forgiveness is an act of the will more than an act of the heart. We do not often feel like showing mercy or forgiveness to someone who’s wronged us, but but that’s exactly what we’re called to do (Matthew 5:38-40). A resentful spirit grows into a terrible burden. God knows that forgiveness is best, even when it is difficult. Claim the divine mercy He offers, and ask Him to enable you to lay aside your frustrations, anger and resentment. As part of the decision to move forward in grace, make a habit of praying for those who hurt you. And if God so leads, seek their forgiveness for your wrong attitude or actions.

A bitter spirit doesn’t fit who we are in our relationship with God. That’s why there are so many scriptures about forgiveness. We have to choose to be liberated from our burdens and unforgiveness. Did you catch that? We have to make the choice. God promised to make us free when we choose to believe and obey Him (John 8:31-32). Freedom from our burdens sounds pretty good to me. ~OC

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True Friendships

Today’s a new day! True friends never make you feel like a burden. A true friend is never burdened with stressful promises and obligations.  When true friends step up, it’s because they care and because they want to.

Don’t chase after friendships. True friendships don’t need to be chased.  If someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You should never have to fight for a spot in their life. Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. ~OC

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Three Identities

Today’s a new day! During this crazy beautiful health journey, God has revealed so much to me. One of the major revelations is about identity. I believe our lives are wrapped up in three identities. I wrote this on December 20, 2018.

1). Our Identity in the World: This is about our careers, relationships, our standing in society. This identity is ever changing based on our current circumstances.

2). Our Goliath Identity: This is the voice in our head that tells us we are not good enough. We can never measure up based on our past mistakes, insecurities, or disabilities. This identity can keep us from becoming all God created has created us to be.

3). Our Identity in Jesus: In this identity, we learn that no matter what the world thinks about us, the mistakes we make, or our current situation, we are a child of God’s. In this identity, we find our true worth and purpose in life. This identity brings us peace. This is the identity we should be focused on and strive to live out. ~OC

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Friendships……

Today’s a new day! A true friend who stands with you during the tough seasons, is far more valuable than a hundred friends who only show up for your smiles and high moments in life.  Because a true friend accepts who you truly are, and also helps you become who you are capable of being.

True friendship requires more than just finding the right person, they also require you to be the right person.  When someone believes in you enough to lift you up, try not to let them down.  True friendship is a precious gift to be nurtured, not a relationship to be taken for granted. ~OC

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The Perfect Time is Now

Today’s a new day! I have really been focused on making memories the last few years. With my health being what it is, making memories has become a priority. When Laura and I want to do something we do it, if possible. No more waiting for the right time. The right time is now. As I have shared before, these road trips and outings are not easy on my body, but the memories we’re making are priceless. I would encourage everyone to embrace the moment and go make some beautiful memories. Stop waiting for the perfect time. The perfect time is now! ~OC

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To Live Together in Peace

Today’s a new day! As I study scripture, I continuously see we are given direction and guidance to live together in peace. But in order to do so, we must value and care for one another, be humble, seek to understand each other, be compassionate, and treat others respectfully. It does not mean that everyone has to be our best friend, but at the end of the day, we should treat others as we want to be treated. Like-mindedness does not mean we need to walk around with the same thoughts and beliefs on all things, but instead it means we ought to share the common purpose of love and care for each other. As a world, it feels as if we have lost sight of this. Too often, people are so caught up in the value of their own opinion, agenda and being right, that the humility and humanity necessary to love one another is lost.

Thankfully, my days are spent encouraging others through conversations, zoom meetings and writing. I try to use social media and personal interactions to find out what binds us together and less about what divides us. I try to have conversations with people who look, act, believe and speak differently than me.

Though we come from different places, life experiences and beliefs systems, our ultimate purpose should be to try and make a better world for all to live. Obviously, we live in a imperfect world filled with imperfect people, but the more we seek to understand, extend compassion, and treat others as friends, the better we work together to bring change that makes life better for all.

I will continue to seek God for guidance and direction as to how to best live together in peace and love with those around me.

Peace will be present

when we all decide to

treat people with respect and love

Love is forgiving

It’s gracious and kind

humble and listens

keeps others in mind

Seek to understand

by listening first

speaking to learn and discover

the best in people, not the worst

Dear God, teach us to walk in love and compassion each new day.

Dear God, thank You that You love us so much that You call us and guide us to live in peace and harmony together with each other. Thank You that You show us what is good, and what is required to know Your peace. Forgive us for the times that we have lacked compassion or failed to listen. Teach us to extend grace in such a way that all feel heard and appreciated. Be glorified O God, as we seek You to lead us in Your love and to live together in peace as one human race. Amen ~OC

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Friendships

Today’s a new day! An acquaintance has a little something in common with you and merely enjoys your company for a short time.  A fair-weather friend flatters you when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping.  A true friend, on the other hand, has your very best interests at heart and will never decide your journey is too hard or messy. A true friend sticks with you until the end of the story. ~OC

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