Tag: Prayer

Thoughts and Prayers Must Equal Action

Today’s a new day! This past Wednesday we witnessed a deadly school shooting in Georgia and then yesterday we witnessed an unknown person shooting at random people on a highway in Kentucky.

When we witness these tragedies, so many reach out with words of comfort. Usually those words include “thoughts and prayers.” But we have to do better than “thoughts and prayers.”

Over the years as our nation and world has faced so many tragedies -some created by humans and some by nature, we have been challenged to reflect and pray.

I know people are well meaning, but as we have faced tragedy after tragedy, I have become tired of hearing the words “thoughts and prayers” and I do not believe I am alone.

Let me take a moment and share I believe in thoughts and prayers. My life is built on prayers. But thoughts and prayers without action are just hollow words at best.

When we hear elected officials who could create laws to curb violence or provide adequate help to clean up after storms, we must cry out. We must demand real change takes place.

We cannot just fill our social media pages with “thoughts and prayers.” We must step up and speak out.

Our thoughts and prayers help victims of tragedy if those thoughts and prayers lead to action.

Our thoughts and prayers help in a variety of ways. But they help most when they move us to action.

What I believe is needed is a national movement toward solutions that eliminate or at least lower some human made tragedies like gun violence and hate crimes.

As a human being and more importantly as a Christian, I am dedicated to thoughts and prayers, if they lead to real change. Prayer is the first action I take when I see or hear news of another tragedy. And I will keep on praying wherever and whenever necessary.

What I will no longer do is quickly post or say to someone “my thoughts and prayers are with you.”

No, I think Instead, we should start saying the following:

*My heart breaks for you. I am praying for the wisdom to do what I can to prevent further tragedies like this. I will work to put those thoughts and prayers into action.

*I will also pray that the people we elect will turn their “thoughts and prayers” into action. And my action will be to research and support those candidates. I encourage you to do the same.

Let’s begin to be people who think beyond “thoughts and prayers” and turn tragedies into life changing action. Who’s with me? ~OC

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Lived-Out Gospel

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out my faith journey, I am often asked what does the gospel look like when it’s actually lived out? I believe God gives us many characteristics of the Spirit-filled life. Here are three that stand out to me.

We cannot truly live out the gospel if there is no love. Love must come first. Jesus Himself said the first commandment is to love God, then others. He even said we are to love as He loved, which was to lay down his life.

Are we to literally lay down our lives for others? Some may be asked to make that sacrifice one day. But most of us share love by giving of our time, our talents or our finances. Sometimes love is just being there. During my many hospital stays, I have some friends who just come and sit with me. That’s love. Other times we love by listening, encouraging and praying for others. Sometimes we give the shirts off our backs, or buy a meal or provide shelter to a hurting world. Lived-out love is a powerful witness.

A second witness is grace. Grace is often an unclear or vague concept for some, so here are a few synonyms to help everyone grasp the powerful meaning of this essential truth: mercy, forgiveness, benevolence, charity, clemency, compassion, favor, forbearance, generosity, goodwill, goodness, kindness, leniency, pardon, reprieve, responsiveness, tenderness.

Grace never holds a grudge, or refuse to forgive. Grace does overlook an offense, speaks kindly when verbally attacked and believe the best about people. Lived-out grace is a powerful witness.

A third evidence of truly walking out our faith is by living an authentic life. How many times have you heard someone say something about “hypocrites in the church”? Authenticity means we speak truth no matter the cost. We actually live out what we say as much as possible; we wear no masks. We consider the impact our words and actions have on those watching or reading what we say. We are even willing to be vulnerable. Wow!

Those are risky actions. We could be misunderstood, disapproved of, even shunned or taken advantage of. But we wouldn’t be hypocrites. We would be true, real … authentic. Lived -out authenticity is a powerful witness.

May we live out the gospel with love, grace and authenticity so that people will actually see Jesus in us. ~OC

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Enough is Enough

Praying for all of our teachers, school staff and students. Bless and protect them. No one should ever have to live this experience. It’s well past time for common sense gun laws. How many more times do you want to write “thoughts and prayers” on your social media pages? Enough is enough. ~OC

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Twenty-Five Years. Twenty-Five Lessons.

Earlier this week, Laura and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been 25 years. This year to celebrate 25 years together, I want to share 25 things we have learned in this crazy beautiful journey. Obviously, we have learned more than 25 things, but these are the things that came to mind as I was writing this blog.

1). Pray continually.

2).Our faith in God, is what holds us together.  It’s the foundation for our relationship.

3).Protect your marriage by always putting it first…before self, before kids, before career, before parents, before friends. First. Period.

4).It’s ok to talk about how you feel. Just make sure those conversations are filled with respect.

5).Time alone together is important. Date Nights and getting away together once or twice a year is healthy for your relationship.

6).Learn the other person’s love language.

7).Laughter is good for a relationship.

8).Develop a shared interest. It can be simple. Laura and I like to travel and just sit around our house and chill.

9).You will face challenges in life. Work through those tough moments together. Always together.

10).Don’t allow family, friends or cultural to dictate your marriage.

11).In-laws can be challenging at times, but also a beautiful blessing.

12). Marriage not 50/50. It’s 100/100. However, you will not always both be able to give 100% and that’s ok. There will be times you and the Lord will carry things for the both of you. That is Love.

13). Don’t keep score.

14). Make the choice daily to love your spouse.

15). Serve your spouse even when you’re tired and maybe you don’t feel like it.

16). Communicate! Don’t keep things bottled up.

17). It’s ok to agree to disagree.

18). Having a separate interest is okay as long as it doesn’t interfere with your relationship.

19).Listen and let them know they are truly heard.

20). Tell your spouse you’re proud of them.

21). Support their dreams.

22). Critique with love.

23). When life gets tough, remember what you love about them

24). It’s a treasure to have someone to walk through the highs and lows of life with you.

25). Love always.

I am forever grateful that God has blessed me with a bride who loves God first. Also I have always known Laura loves me even on my worst day.

As I reflect on our 25 years together, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 comes to mind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To those couples that might be reading this post, I pray you will cling to the Lord and each other.  It’s what has carried Laura and I this far and I know it will you as well. ~OC

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Between the Mourning and Tears

Today’s a new day! Another mass shooting in America. More tears. More pain. One more community devastated by gun violence. One less person at the dinner table. When will America wake up?

As I digest yet another senseless act of gun violence in America, I have to examine my own life and asked what can I do to be a positive light in a dark world?

As a Christian, I am called to remember that God chose to enter a time as violent and faithless as our own and that the light of God cannot, will not, shall not ever be overcome by the darkness of this world. What will I do with the light I have been given in the healing life, witness, death and resurrection of Jesus? Will I stare at the flame and pretend I don’t see the darkness around me? Or will I carry God’s call to put down my sword, love my enemy, and pray for those who bring harm to the world?

But I must confess; in the light of another mass shooting, sometimes it feels like what can I really do to help? The situation feels overwhelming. l long for more help, for God to come in a new and powerful way. That His love will act like a consuming fire that will burn up all the ugliness— all the negativity that mares the beauty that I know is here. Sometimes the most honest and faithful prayer I can lift up to God for America is, “Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us, because we are sorely hindered by our shortcomings, let your bountiful grace and mercy help and deliver us.”

But, we must all stand up and take action. Some of these actions will be individual and some will involve working with other people. Some of the discernment about what should be done will happen alone, in prayer, and some of it will happen in a crowded room of people who are disagreeing, respectfully, about our next steps on gun violence and other issues that are effecting our little piece of the world. But together we must press for discussion, debate, and action on the issues facing our communities. Mournful silence is an option, but only if we sinfully close ourselves off to God’s clamoring in our hearts to be part of the change.

So in between those cries for God to come, to save us in ways we cannot, we are free to make choices, each day to make a difference. We know what human beauty would look like, what it would sounds like. So why don’t we let it have its moment? ~OC

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Here We Are Again

Here We Are Again. Another school shooting in America. Lives lost and families changed forever. Another day of violence against students and school staff at a place that should be safe. Violence as they laughed, talked about their weekend, their hopes and dreams. Another day of senseless violence and death.

Another day that we have seen played out too often across America. Another day of politicians stepping up and offering their thoughts and prayers. I for one, am tired of hearing these tired and worn out thoughts and prayers. We’ve heard them over and over again, with no action behind them. We will just have to hold our breath until another school shooting happens. And unfortunately, it will happen again. And again.

Just like after every other school shooting, we will hear two different views.

The first will be from parents, students and concerned citizens that as a nation we need to step up and create meaningful and common sense gun legislation. That we should learn from this latest school shooting and never allow it to happen again. Something so many have been working for since we heard those frightening words Breaking News: School shooting at Columbine High School in 1999. That was twenty-five years ago.

The second view, will be people expressing anger that people would call for accountability and change before the blood has even been cleaned off the floors and walls. And the appropriate response in the moment is “thoughts and prayers.” These are typically the same people who fiercely defend gun rights. Who appear more concerned about their 2nd Amendment rights than the lives lost in these senseless school killings.

And why is it, that a great number of those worried about their gun rights are Christians. Before I continue, let me share that I am part of the Christian community. But I cannot sit around in silence and listen to my brothers and sisters in Christ once again yell the loudest about their gun rights and refusal to have meaningful conversations about real change when it comes to gun laws. And let me make this clear, I am not advocating for the end of the second amendment. My question is why aren’t Christians the loudest ones calling for laws that would protect innocent lives? They certainly are not shy or quiet about calling for laws to protect the unborn. Isn’t all life sacred? Is it possible that some people are more concerned about their guns than they are for people? Could it be possible that this love of guns and commitment to making sure they always have as much firepower in their hands as they want, reveals that there is a spiritual problem driving gun violence in America and that we the people are at the heart of that problem?

As Jesus walked the earth, he creatively demonstrated what non-violence can look like in the face of a cruel and violent world. He taught us what it means to stand within the world but not be of the world. Jesus taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Maybe we just don’t believe him.

As we experience another school shooting, people will express anger and advocate for sensible gun legislation, and other people will condemn that anger and call for thoughts and prayers instead.  Every time there is a school shooting, we watch this same series of responses play out on social media and across political aisles like some well-rehearsed script we’ve all agreed to follow. This production is getting old. Gun violence has become as American as apple pie and baseball. And personally I am pretty sick and tired of it.

Students, teachers and school staff are dying simply by going to school. Over and over. Some people grieve by way of tears and silence. Some grieve by way of anger, shaking their fists and crying out “why?” I can hear the psalmists in the first response and the prophets in the latter.

Our response to school shootings or any type of violence, like so many issues that polarize us is shaped by our life experiences to the degree one is willing to forego individual liberty for the common good. When “our rights” have greater value than what is good for the community as a whole, I have to wonder how we got here. In scripture, Jesus repeatedly calls us to put our selfishness aside for the good of our neighbor and for the good of our community.

In the wake of another school shooting, my heart would break again if as a nation, we failed to advocate on behalf of victims of gun violence or call for laws that value human life and the common good. Together we are the body and the voices that speak vision for a better and safer world. So therefore, we have a responsibility to relentlessly press towards that vision.

I do not believe anyone can honestly say we do not have a gun problem in America. In my humble view, both action and prayer can be appropriate ways to respond. But prayer alone, without action has literally never worked to bring healing to the problems of the this world.

When we experience a school shooting we should shed our tears. We should pray. But we must speak out against the violence and killing that continues to destroy our country. We must say no to the madness. ~OC

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Thoughts and Prayers

Today’s a new day!

You can call me…

A Liberal

A Snowflake

Anti Gun

Anti 2nd Amendment

Overreacting

But, I am tired of seeing students, teachers and staff killed just for going to school. Thoughts and prayers are just empty words if there is no action taken. ~OC

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No Masks

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I embrace my own brokenness. And through that brokenness, I walk in grace. The trials of life reinforce my need for God. I will continue to run in beautiful transparency without wearing a mask to hide the pain and scars of this crazy beautiful journey. To truly live out this journey being who I was created to be. ~OC

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Thank You!

As I write this, Laura is fast asleep, her day will be filled with one thing after another. So I want to jot a few words that could never really approach an accurate measure of the gratitude I have that for the last 25 years, I have gotten to call her my bride.

I have heard many people give marriage advice over the years. But the best advice I can give any couple is to keep God at the center of your marriage and that your spouse becomes your best friend.

Today, Laura and I celebrate our 25th anniversary. And while I could wax poetic about love, commitment, romance, and other things that people associate with married couples, I want to thank my bride for the things that keep me glued to her, the small things that define why the man I see in the mirror today – despite no hair, the wrinkles and the body a little more worn out, is a better man than I was 25 years ago.

Thank you for always being my best friend, confidant and sounding board.

Thank you for smiling at me from across the room in a crowd of people to let me know that you still know I am there.

Thank you for being the first person I want to call to talk about a personal victory that might be small in the eyes of others, but monumental to me.

Thank you for being the first person I want to share my thoughts and writing with you.

Thank you for being my rockstar, chauffeur and health advocate over the years.

Thank you for always telling me the truth.

Thank you for sharing all the road trips with me and doing most of the driving.

Thank you for allowing me to be a collector of books and hats.

Thank you for helping me finish my thoughts. As my health declines and my thoughts are harder to find, you always make it a little easier.

Thank you for reminding me to eat and take in fluids.

Thank you for telling me to go to the doctor when I am just tired of going.

Thank you for seeing how tired I get in social settings and making sure I do not overdo it.

Thank you for finding so much in life to laugh at and with.

Thank you for your relentless pursuit in making our life better.

Thank you for laughing at and getting my dark sense of humor. I am thankful for your dark sense of humor.

Thank you for being the most selfless person I know.

And thank you for making me want to be a better man, not because of some expectation that you may have of me, but because I want to become a better man.

Thank you for showing patience as I walk through this health journey.

As we celebrate our 25th Anniversary, I love you more today than the day we said “I do.” Happy Anniversary! ~OC

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Friends

Today’s a new day! I believe we would all agree that good friendships add value to our lives. Great friends can bring out the best in us.

But sadly, we have all experienced moments in life where friends let us down. Those can be tough moments to walk through.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have felt the sting of friends deciding to walk way. Those moments can lead to some of the deepest pain in life. It can be easy to get bitter about the way those friends treated me.

When walking through those moments of loss, it can feel good to get angry in those times of hurt. But by holding on to those painful moments we can end up dealing with long-term trauma. When we look at Ephesians 4:31, we read about getting rid of bitterness and anger. By allowing those harmful emotions to take hold in our lives like nasty weeds, we could potentially cut ourselves off from valuable friendships.

But when we decide to mix forgiveness with honest and open communications we can help to alleviate the pain we feel and can help walk us down the road to recovering our friendship.

In Matthew 18:22, Peter asked Jesus how often we should forgive our brother. Peter thought he was being generous when he offered to forgive his brother seven times in one day. According to human thinking, that would be quite generous, but Jesus had a different answer: “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” What?

Jesus point was not to count up to 490 offenses and then stop forgiving the one who asks for forgiveness, but to forgive always. Forgiveness should be our state of mind. It should flow from our hearts. Just as God is merciful with us when we repent, we should be merciful to others.

When friends disappoint us, mercy is not always our first reaction, but it is a response that we must learn and practice. It is important to keep perspective and recognize that we are not always perfect friends.

In this journey called life, we have definitely disappointed our friends and how did we want to be treated in those moments? A good principle to remember is given in Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When we keep in mind our own shortcomings, it is much easier to extend mercy and grace to others.

Before Peter asked about forgiveness, Jesus gave instructions about what to do when our friends let us down. In Matthew 18:15-20, the topic of when our friends disappoint us is addressed.

The first step is to go to our friend privately and address the issue. Hopefully they will respond positively, and further steps will not be needed.

The key to going to our friends is that we must do so in love. In Proverbs 17:17 we read, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother and sister is born for adversity.” Without first being willing to forgive our friend and striving to remember our love for them, we run the risk of making matters worse. Our hurt feelings and disappointments may come out in anger and drive our friends away.

I believe friends are to hold each other accountable. Solomon wrote about this in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” The point is not to tear each other apart, but to build each other up and hopefully make our relationship even stronger.

Once we have truly forgiven our friends and reached out to them, then the responsibility is on them to respond. Hopefully their response will be positive, and the problem will be resolved. But if not, we will have peace in knowing that we have done everything in our power to make amends.

There is joy that can come in gaining a friend back, but recognize that doesn’t always happen overnight. As time moves forward, our responsibility is to not allow disappointment to generate bitterness, but to replace that disappointment with love, grace and forgiveness. ~OC

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