Tag: Purpose

Sportsmanship

Today’s a new day! The last few days we celebrated Rivalry Week in College Football. The games did not disappoint. There were some amazing moments, finishes and upsets. But most people will not be talking about that today. No, sadly most people will be discussing incidents of winning teams trying to place their team flags on the logos of the losing teams and the brawls that ensued. At Ohio State, police used pepper spray on players. How crazy is that. Which brings me to the question about sportsmanship.

Although it comes in many forms, everyone can give a few examples of what sportsmanship looks like and what it takes to be viewed as a “good sport”: We shake hands before and after games, we clap for injured players once they show they are okay, and we extend a hand to help an opponent get up off of the ground. These examples are just scratching the surface of displaying good sportsmanship.

Sportsmanship is an understanding of and commitment to fair play, ethical behavior and integrity, and general goodwill toward an opponent. It is an affirmation that an athlete is disciplined enough to have perspective, maintain poise and do what is best for his or her teammates.

Being able to make appropriate behavioral choices at the “moment of truth” and in a pressure situation will often reveal a player’s character and his or her ability to be a good sport. Simply put, sportsmanship is a choice.

It is easy for the athletes, coaches and fans to get caught up in a game and become too focused on winning. Although winning is important, it is not always the most important aspect of the game. There is so much to be gained and learned from an athletic experience that will stay with us for the rest of our lives. Good sportsmanship is one of those life lessons that should be intentionally learned, taught, practiced and reinforced.

No matter how much we would like to, we cannot win at everything every time. So we need to learn to deal with defeat. After a hard fought game in which everything was left on the playing field in a losing effort, it can be very difficult to look your opponents in the eye and tell them “good game” or “good job.” But this is what is asked of athletes. The key question is: How do we handle losing with class?

Keep losing in perspective. Just as in life, sports are a learning experience. Very few wins and losses are remembered, even a short time later. 

Always accept responsibility for the loss. Acknowledge the winners and congratulate them. Sometimes your opponent was just better. Even if they are not better, they were better on that particular day. The effort should be acknowledged. Sulking shows a lack of discipline and respect.

Winning is fun! It is the reward for your hard work. But excessive gloating and flaunting your win in front of the losing team does not promote or show good sportsmanship. Remember how you feel when you’re on the losing side of a sporting or life event.

Keep winning in perspective. Winning doesn’t mean you were perfect or that you will win again. Celebrate your win, but celebrate your win with class, respect and grace.

Have empathy for the team you defeated; win with humility and class. Acknowledge your opponents’ effort and that they were worthy competitors. The late , great North Carolina basketball Coach Dean Smith once said, “A lion never roars after a kill.” I love that quote and the parallel to what “good winning” should look like.

Life is tough, and life is not fair. Like life, sports are tough and not always fair. Yet sports can be a wonderful training ground for life’s challenges. Just like we win some and lose some in sports, we also deal with plenty of successes, challenges and failures in our own lives. Let’s try to be good sports in both the winning and losing situations and during our successes, challenges and failures.

Let me leave you with a few more quote about sportsmanship:

“One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it.” ~ Former University of Notre Dame Head Football Coach Knute Rockne

“Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.” ~ MLB Hall of Famer Cal Ripken, Jr.

“If character is what you do when no one is watching, then sportsmanship is that conduct with everybody watching.” ~ ESPN Sportscaster Bob Ley

“Sportsmanship is that quality of honor that desires always to be courteous, fair, and respectful, and it is interpreted in the conduct of players, spectators, coaches, and school authorities.” ~ Former University of Michigan Head Football Coach and Athletic Director Fielding H. Yost

I truly hope we will spend some time reflecting on the importance of sportsmanship in all areas of sports and life. ~OC

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Forgiveness

In Matthew 6:9-15 we read the following words:

Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is just one of many lessons Jesus taught us about unforgiveness. He shared on numerous occasions about not allowing unforgiveness to reside in our hearts. God shared those who refuse to forgive others will not be forgiven by the Father. Be careful not to misunderstand Jesus’ meaning here. We do not lose our salvation when we refuse to forgive others. Rather, we break fellowship with God because an unrepentant attitude interferes with regular confession and turning away from sin.

Forgiveness is an act of the will more than an act of the heart. We do not often feel like showing mercy or forgiveness to someone who’s wronged us, but but that’s exactly what we’re called to do (Matthew 5:38-40). A resentful spirit grows into a terrible burden. God knows that forgiveness is best, even when it is difficult. Claim the divine mercy He offers, and ask Him to enable you to lay aside your frustrations, anger and resentment. As part of the decision to move forward in grace, make a habit of praying for those who hurt you. And if God so leads, seek their forgiveness for your wrong attitude or actions.

A bitter spirit doesn’t fit who we are in our relationship with God. That’s why there are so many scriptures about forgiveness. We have to choose to be liberated from our burdens and unforgiveness. Did you catch that? We have to make the choice. God promised to make us free when we choose to believe and obey Him (John 8:31-32). Freedom from our burdens sounds pretty good to me. ~OC

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True Friendships

Today’s a new day! True friends never make you feel like a burden. A true friend is never burdened with stressful promises and obligations.  When true friends step up, it’s because they care and because they want to.

Don’t chase after friendships. True friendships don’t need to be chased.  If someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You should never have to fight for a spot in their life. Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. ~OC

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Three Identities

Today’s a new day! During this crazy beautiful health journey, God has revealed so much to me. One of the major revelations is about identity. I believe our lives are wrapped up in three identities. I wrote this on December 20, 2018.

1). Our Identity in the World: This is about our careers, relationships, our standing in society. This identity is ever changing based on our current circumstances.

2). Our Goliath Identity: This is the voice in our head that tells us we are not good enough. We can never measure up based on our past mistakes, insecurities, or disabilities. This identity can keep us from becoming all God created has created us to be.

3). Our Identity in Jesus: In this identity, we learn that no matter what the world thinks about us, the mistakes we make, or our current situation, we are a child of God’s. In this identity, we find our true worth and purpose in life. This identity brings us peace. This is the identity we should be focused on and strive to live out. ~OC

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Friendships……

Today’s a new day! A true friend who stands with you during the tough seasons, is far more valuable than a hundred friends who only show up for your smiles and high moments in life.  Because a true friend accepts who you truly are, and also helps you become who you are capable of being.

True friendship requires more than just finding the right person, they also require you to be the right person.  When someone believes in you enough to lift you up, try not to let them down.  True friendship is a precious gift to be nurtured, not a relationship to be taken for granted. ~OC

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To Live Together in Peace

Today’s a new day! As I study scripture, I continuously see we are given direction and guidance to live together in peace. But in order to do so, we must value and care for one another, be humble, seek to understand each other, be compassionate, and treat others respectfully. It does not mean that everyone has to be our best friend, but at the end of the day, we should treat others as we want to be treated. Like-mindedness does not mean we need to walk around with the same thoughts and beliefs on all things, but instead it means we ought to share the common purpose of love and care for each other. As a world, it feels as if we have lost sight of this. Too often, people are so caught up in the value of their own opinion, agenda and being right, that the humility and humanity necessary to love one another is lost.

Thankfully, my days are spent encouraging others through conversations, zoom meetings and writing. I try to use social media and personal interactions to find out what binds us together and less about what divides us. I try to have conversations with people who look, act, believe and speak differently than me.

Though we come from different places, life experiences and beliefs systems, our ultimate purpose should be to try and make a better world for all to live. Obviously, we live in a imperfect world filled with imperfect people, but the more we seek to understand, extend compassion, and treat others as friends, the better we work together to bring change that makes life better for all.

I will continue to seek God for guidance and direction as to how to best live together in peace and love with those around me.

Peace will be present

when we all decide to

treat people with respect and love

Love is forgiving

It’s gracious and kind

humble and listens

keeps others in mind

Seek to understand

by listening first

speaking to learn and discover

the best in people, not the worst

Dear God, teach us to walk in love and compassion each new day.

Dear God, thank You that You love us so much that You call us and guide us to live in peace and harmony together with each other. Thank You that You show us what is good, and what is required to know Your peace. Forgive us for the times that we have lacked compassion or failed to listen. Teach us to extend grace in such a way that all feel heard and appreciated. Be glorified O God, as we seek You to lead us in Your love and to live together in peace as one human race. Amen ~OC

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Shine God Shine

Today’s a new day!

Dear God, as we walk through this journey called life, let your light shine through us. Destroy all the darkness and negativity around us. Dear God, let the warmth of your light, the brightness of your love, the sweetness of your joy, the beauty of your hope shine through us. Dear God, let your light be our guide through the storms of life. Let your light brighten our path. Dear God, let your light shine through us everyday. Shine God Shine! ~OC

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Division

Today’s a new day! Division has always been a part of society, but I would say that in the last 10-15 years we have seen division grow to new heights. It seems to be hitting us on every level; national, regional, and individual. It has the potential to destroy what is precious to us if we yield to it. Division can separate us from those we love the most; it can take down sporting teams, companies and nations if left unchecked. The following is a few things I have tried to apply in my own life over the years to help overcome division. Not always successfully, but still striving for.

1). My enemy is the Enemy, not you. In Ephesians 6:12 we read the following words, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” The enemy doesn’t really care who you’re divided against, as long as there’s division. Why would the enemy want to stir up division? Because “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” The enemy’s objective is to lie, steal and destroy, and division is an effective way to accomplish all three.

2). Division will always result in disconnection and disconnect opens the door to disunity. I believe connecting with others is why we’re here. Each of us are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering. When we experience division between ourselves and another person or group, a good question to ask is, “What connection does the enemy want to steal from me?”

3). It is possible to stand up for a worthy cause, but do it with an incorrect attitude. When we see ourselves or others fighting for truth, justice, or anything good, but recognize wrong attitudes, it can be extremely confusing. A good question to ask ourselves when we find ourselves in the midst of disunity is: Am I dealing with pride? Is my perspective of those I feel divided against tainted with judgments rooted in criticism, self-righteousness or pride? Am I motivated by love, or by fear? In my experience with division, I have found that one “side” is rarely 100% right and the other 100% wrong. I have found people on different sides of an issue, often have a mix of right and wrong attitudes. I have found it helpful to ask God to reveal my own heart to me. David did this when he prayed, “Who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults.(Psalm 19:12)

4). Rejection and division often work hand in hand. This is where it is wise to remember your history with people. Choose to remember the times that they have been there for you during the storms of life. Ask yourself: “Is this rejection I’m feeling from this person or group a long-standing pattern? Or is this something new?” The enemy would love to steal the harvest of our lives…the years of faithful friendship we have had with one another. Let’s have the courage to press in and fight for the precious relationships that we’ve invested years in cultivating. Be willing to have the tough conversations. Even if we walk away with a “agree to disagree understanding.”

5). We also must walk through tough situations with the mindset of “Forgiveness is always on the table if we are to walk in unity and freedom.

6). When we pray for those we disagree with, our heart and perspective will often change. Praying to be unified in truth and in love can be a very strategic spiritual weapon against the evil one.

7). Venting or gossiping to others who are not part of the problem or the solution can bring anger, misunderstandings and division. Here’s the bottom line, none of us win when division is given the freedom to rule the day.

8). We have to be willing to look past our differences and agree to come to the table and talk about the things we have in common. Those conversations can lead to the harder conversations. Are you willing to sit at the table with those you disagree with?

I hope this blog post helps you in working with those you might disagree with. Let’s decide to live with the following in our hearts “Unity Over Self.” ~OC

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Dear…,

Today’s a new day!

Dear……,

I want you to know, first and foremost, how special you are. Those are not words to make you feel better. Whether you realize it or not, your life matters.

I want you to know how you light up the world with your smile when you show it off. So please, show it off more. You use more of your face muscles when you smile, so stretch it out so wide that it hurts and remember when you grow old and see wrinkles around your mouth that you got them from smiling.

I know people are trying to reach out to you to tell you that everything is going to be alright and that they’re there for you. Please – and I cannot stress this enough – do not push them away or shut them out. You may not want to hear it, but those family members, friends, and coworkers are there for you and would do anything to help.

So, give them a chance even when you don’t think they’ll understand your pain. You’ll never know if you do not let them in. You’re feeling alone right now. So alone that you don’t think anyone can see all the pain you’re going through.

I want you to know I see you, okay? I can see the pain written all over your face because I know the look of someone trying so hard to pretend like they’re alright when they’re crumbling on the inside. You’re not alone, you have people in your life, and even people you didn’t see coming, who are more than willing to reach out and be there for you.

I know you feel like you cannot get through this current storm. I know it seems like your world is crumbling all around and you cannot find the strength to get back up. Your days are spent isolated in your house, and you cannot eat, sleep or find the strength to move from the comfort and safety of your bed. You have lost the ambition to go outside and breathe in the fresh air. Can I share a little truth with you? I have been where you’re at. I did a pretty good job hiding it, so most people even those closest to me didn’t even notice it. Some days I was barely holding on.

So, I encourage you to hang in there. You’re important to this world and have so much talent and so many amazing ideas to give. You have a light inside you that lights up the world. So keep holding on.

Please, continue to take one day at a time. Keep leaning into the loving arms and promises of God. It’s so easy to want all the answers right this moment, but this life is not a 30 minute tv show. I would love to give you a quick fix, but that could possibly rob you of some amazing lessons God is trying to teach you in this moment. But I can promise you this. We will get through this together. Keep holding on. ~OC

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