Tag: Relationships

Truly Living

Today’s a new day! Are you just merely existing in this journey called life?

As I look around me, I see so many people who are just walking through the motions of everyday life, but they are not truly living life. They are not embracing it. For whatever ever reason they have stopped living before their hearts stopped beating. 

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for the past twenty-three years, I have learned that living a meaningful life has nothing to do with how much money you have in the bank or the materialistic things that you may possess. To truly live has nothing to do with your status in life.

To truly live life is to appreciate everything that you are. To live your life being aware of all your shortcomings but still loving yourself. To understand that those imperfections are part of who you are. To realize that you do not need to change anything about yourself to just impress others. Make changes because they make you a better person. To understand that you are far from perfect but you are unique. There is only one of you walking on this earth. To truly live is to be happy with the person that God uniquely created…You.

To truly live life means to take that trip now, instead of waiting for the right time. The right time is now. A lot can happen in life between now and the right time. Choose to embrace adventure now.

To truly live life means to be in the present, to live in the moment and not waste your time dwelling on the past, or what could have been. To let go of what has happened and focus on what you can do right now to live a better life. To be a better person.

To truly live means to appreciate everything around you. To take time to watch the sunrise or sunset, listen to the birds singing, sit by the ocean or call up some friends to get together to just celebrate living.

To truly live life is to be okay expressing your feelings. To accept that sometimes we need to laugh, cry or scream. To allow yourself to grieve and heal.

To truly live life is to appreciate each moment. To find awesomeness and wander in every day life. To make the choice to get up every day and try to make the best of every day because you don’t know if you’ll be here tomorrow. To try and learn something from each of your life experiences.

To truly live life is to spend time with friends and loved ones. To surround yourself with those that encourage, challenge and inspire you to live your best life.

To truly live life is to find your purpose and live it out. To chase after your hopes and dreams and then go out and accomplish them. To never give up!

To truly live life is to be kind and respectful to others. To buy breakfast for the person in line behind you. To reach out to family and friends to let them know how much they mean to you. To smile at a stranger. To take time to do one selfless act, big or small, on a regular basis. To truly live is to try to make a difference in your part of the world. 

To truly live life is to make the world a better place for the next generation. This one life is a beautiful gift. Embrace it! ~OC

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Simply Breathe

Today’s a new day! Once again, I am sharing a post that has taken me weeks to write. Maybe years if I am being truly honest. I hope it makes you think as you walk through this journey called life.

What if we truly lived like suffering and death wasn’t something to be feared? What if we could talk about suffering and dying as naturally as birth and living? What if there was a liberty in accepting the limitations of our human existence on this earth and freedom in embracing what it means to live and to die well?

These are the thoughts and ideas that I have been exploring since my crazy beautiful health journey started so many years ago. I have become fascinated with the language and narrative around a chronic or terminal diagnosis. The longer I travel this journey, the more I realize there is more to this race than simply surviving.

Sadly, there is a false narrative that suffering and death is somehow a sign of not having enough faith or somehow someone has failed in some way. This is simply not true. We seem to have lost the sense of the precious and fragile nature of life.

My own health journey has brought many hospital stays, major surgeries and years of treatments. But as time marches by, I am finding that I am less inclined to easily consent to the next treatment option that’s offered. Not because I don’t want to live, but because I want to weigh carefully the cost and the benefits. Living longer is not enough for me anymore. I strive to live well.

I have learned the hard way how long it can take to recover from a major surgery or treatment and how exhausting and stressful it can be for my family and friends. Also how long it is before I recover a sense of myself. A surgery or treatment that is nothing more than a bandaid is not a choice I want to put myself or my loved ones through anymore.

So, my goal is to continue grabbing on to hope, happiness and wellbeing, even as my body continues to decline. Doing everything I can to feel well, live life with purpose and continue to live life as myself and not some number on a medical chart. To take control of the decisions around my medical care, to equally weigh both the quality and quantity of life. To continue challenging the false beliefs around suffering and dying as I continue to run this beautiful race.

Some people reading this will say that I am being negative, but I have found complete liberty and joy in resisting the narratives on suffering. For too long our society has hidden away the realities of suffering and refused to discuss it. Our fragility and humanity seems to be denied as we continue to seek medically enabled immortality.  My heart breaks to see so many people spending their days chasing after miracle cures rather than enjoying the miracle of the life they still have.

I do not fear the end life, but I do fear losing my identity to the different health issues that are trying to control every aspect of my life. I will not give in or give up. I am choosing instead to laugh, read a good book, listen to some great music and make amazing memories with my loved ones. To simply breathe and embrace life.

I have found peace in this acceptance that allows me to have open and honest conversations about life and how that currently looks for me. I am grateful that as I live my best days in the best way possible, I am able to have real conversations about this journey I am traveling. Wherever this health journey leads me, will be an opportunity for me to share my faith, to laugh with loved ones and to hopefully encourage someone along the way. One thing this journey will not be about is failure or defeat. No, this journey will be filled with embracing life and everything that comes with it. A choice to live life with purpose and meaning. I pray you will join me on this adventure and strive to live the amazing life set before you. ~OC

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Passion and Purpose

Today’s a new day! As men, our first question to another man usually is “What do you do for a living?” As men our careers tend to be our identities in so many ways. But what happens when that identity is taken away? Shattered into a million pieces when the doctors tell you that you have multiple life threatening illnesses that have no cure. Within hours of hearing that devastating news, what I did for a living didn’t matter anymore. But I still needed purpose. Something to distract me from all the test and multiple hospital stays. That’s why through prayer, I became a medical missionary/coach. Way back when my health journey first started, I was not qualified to help anyone walk through their medical journey. Still not sure I am. Only through God’s help and guidance, am I able to sit with people who are going through some of the toughest battles they have ever faced. I consider it an honor to help others navigate through their health journey. Through my own health challenges, I have found peace, joy and purpose.

As I talk with other patients, I always share the following: “It is not what happens to us during this season of struggles, but how we react that truly defines who we are.” So how do you want to be defined? Health issues or no health issues, that question should dictate how you live.

As I continue walking through this health journey, I am a big believer in being as honest and open as possible. Men are notoriously bad at sharing their feelings, but I want to change that narrative as I continue to live out this crazy beautiful health journey.

We get pushed along in this world by consumerism, but it really doesn’t matter what car, house or latest technology we have. No, what really matters in this journey called life is love, relationships, kindness, caring for others, being surrounded by family and friends. I want to create the best relationships I can, and live the happiest life I can, because I no longer know what my timeframe is (none of us do). So I will continue to live life with passion and purpose. ~OC

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Embrace the Moments

Today’s a new day! Love those around you. Stay true to them. Take time with family and friends. Laugh together. Cry together. Celebrate together. Mourn together. Grow together. Cherish what you have right in front of you. Embrace it all. ~OC

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Stop Judging

Today’s a new day! If you’re ever tempted to judge another person and speak harshly of them, here are some sobering words from the Bible to ponder:

“No matter who you are, before you judge the wickedness of others, you had better remember this: you are also without excuse, for you too are guilty of the same kind of things! When you judge others, and then do the same things they do, you condemn yourself.” ~Romans‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬ ‭

Jesus was aware of other people’s shortcomings, but he didn’t stand as a self-righteous judge over them. Instead, He loved them in such a way that they strived to become better people. This is an ideal for all of us to strive for in a world that loves to pass judgment.

Shower your neighbor with love rather than self-righteous condemnation.

Shower your family and friends with understanding and compassion, rather than targeting them with resentment and anger.

Shower everyone you meet with goodwill and blessing that inspires them to be better people, rather than tearing down everything they do.

When we think badly of others, it reveals our own shortcomings. The best way to improve the world, is to start with improving our own state of thought. As we collectively love more and judge less, everyone will be better off. ~OC

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Beautiful Journey

Today’s a new day! As many of you know, I was diagnosed with young-onset dementia last September (2024). Life has changed in many ways since that diagnosis. Writing down my thoughts is much tougher these days. This post literally took me several weeks to write. Finding my words to write or speak can be a daunting challenge at times. As I navigate this new reality of living with dementia, I want to share the journey with you. To answer your questions and to share my thoughts for as long as I can. The following is a question I get a lot as I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey.

What gives you the strength to remain positive?

My Christian faith gives me deep meaning in life, giving me hope for the future and a perspective of my life being eternal, not simply limited to what I see and experience on this side of Heaven. This life and my health journey are temporary.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I have met so many people with different health challenges during my journey, all at various stages of ability due to their declining health. But each person still remains an individual, with their true inner being shining through. The eyes remain a window into someone’s soul, and reflect our humanity.

As my thoughts and overall health becomes a bigger challenge, I see more clearly the importance of relationships. I also see and feel myself traveling through a wide range of emotions, even if they become a little more scrambled with the dementia. Our emotions connect us to each other, allowing us to form relationships, which is a mark of truly being human. As this journey takes me deeper within myself, I find myself reflecting more on God and how to truly live life more for Him. This is what gives me an abiding sense of meaning as I travel on this health journey wherever it takes me. Because I know the final destination is filled with peace and ultimate healing. As a Christian, the ending is really the beginning.

So as I continue to run this health race, I remain positive, feeling that I am gaining along this journey a far better sense of what it means to be truly alive and that much can be achieved to help others as I continue travel this crazy beautiful journey. ~OC

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A Night of Prayer

Hello. As I sit here at 10:00pm, I have this feeling God is calling me to a time of prayer tonight. That could be a few hours of prayer or it could mean a whole night of prayer. As I prepare my heart for whatever tonight holds, I want you to know I will be praying for you. If you happen to be up and need specific prayers, please feel free to reach out to me. I pray everyone has as a peaceful and restful night. God Bless. ~OC

Ending the day with God is just as important as when you begin. Another day is ending, and maybe you’re you looking for a way to give your dreams to God, forgive the wrongs of the day, or ask the Spirit to speak to you in your sleep. If you’re unsure what to say as you face another long night or a challenging tomorrow, you might like to pray along with these prayers and make Him the Lord of your nights.

From sunrise to sunset, let the Lord’s name be praised! Psalm 113:3

Thanks for Your Faithfulness

Heavenly Father, my day is drawing to an end, and I’m ready to turn in. But before I do, I have to thank you for your faithfulness today. It’s always a good day, even when things may not go the way I plan, or when the world seems in chaos, because you are in control.

Thanks for Your Unseen Presence

For all the times when I was aware of your help today, all the times when your unseen presence seemed so near, thank you, God. But for all the ways you worked behind the scenes, unknown to me, moments when heaven-sent angels moved on my behalf in ways I’ll never know, thank you for those also, Lord.

Thanks for Your Love and Forgiveness

Forgive me for any foolish actions on my part today or things I did without first asking your blessing or wisdom. Those are moments I would rather forget, but I am so grateful for your forgiveness when I ask. I never want to go to bed without clearing the air between us, Lord. Our friendship means too much, and your holiness deserves that. Thank you for loving me just as I an. Your love compels me to give you my all and fill my heart with praise for the relationship I share because of you sweet Jesus.

May Your Love Touch Others

As my family and friends close their eyes tonight, I am praying for each of them and praying they each would come to know You. I am praying that your love, like the countless number of stars in the night sky, will touch them and help them see who you truly are. I pray for our world and everyone in it. I pray for each of their needs to be met.

Grant Sleep, Refreshment, and Protection

Grant each with a good night’s sleep tonight, God, so that they can awake refreshed and ready to begin another day loving you. Thank you again for blessings so undeserved and too numerous to count. I long for the word “faithful” to describe our service to you, each day of every year. When I awake in the morning, may it be with a joyful smile, not a grumpy spirit. May your protection and your presence bathe my home with peace and safety against the enemy. Good night, Lord.

In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.

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Dear Politicians,

Dear Politicians,

As a proud and concerned American, I stand with fellow Americans in supporting everyone’s right to freely share their opinions without fear of reprisal. I believe the majority of Americans stand for and believe in freedom of speech. Whether that’s a rockstar speaking out or people working a 9-5 job.

I know there will be some who disagree with my thoughts and opinions concerning this matter. Guess what? That is your right. Just as it’s the rockstar or the soccer mom’s right to freely share their thoughts and to support who they want politically. As an American, I pray that this freedom and the many freedoms that so many American heroes died for over the past 249 years will never be taken for granted or taken from us.

Signed,

Concerned Citizen

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What Might Jesus Say

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writing From OC.” This was written back in 2019.

For well over a decade, I’ve been journaling about and having discussions centered around seeking and living for Jesus in a noisy world. When I read my Bible, I have a journal close by to write down whatever God brings to my heart and mind. I take time to look at my life and examine how I am applying the passages I’m studying or how far away I am from doing so. It’s a way for me to allow God’s word to seep into my life in ways it hasn’t in the past.

This past week, I was reading in Luke 13:34 where It says, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!”

Jesus spoke those words on Tuesday of Passion week, just three days before he was crucified. Jerusalem was not only a hotspot for the Jewish leadership that opposed Jesus, but it was also one of the homes of King Herod. Luke reported that Jesus said these words after some Pharisees warned him to leave because Herod wanted to kill Jesus.

In response, Jesus lamented that the people in Jerusalem had not welcomed him or allowed him to change their spiritual lives and eternal destination.

This got me start thinking. What might Jesus say to me?”

“Todd, how often I have longed to tell you your worth, but you looked to the world and not me.”

“Todd, how often I have longed to tell you that you could, but you listened to your own insecurities or the negative voices around you instead.”

“Todd, how often I have longed to show you the way out, but you were looking the wrong way.”

“Todd, how often I have longed to slap that phone or device out of your hand and tell you I am all you need.”

“Todd, how often I have wanted to speak to you, but your job or ministry work was more important.”

What about you? If Jesus was in front of you right now, what might he say to you? What would his lament sound like in your life?

Whatever that lament is—and I hope you take the time to think about it—you don’t have to stay stuck, and you don’t have to keep looking within yourself or to social media or to a self-help book for the answers to your questions or problems. You don’t have to keep fretting about the latest political news or worry that your friends on social media seem to have a better life than you.

Going to yourself or the world fills you with empty promises that things will get better and that you can look to yourself for change. Eventually those things come up woefully short. The peace you and I long for, the guidance we need, the encouragement to keep going is found not in us or the world but in the Word of God and in community with His people.

I believe life is much fuller when we take the Word of God seriously, examine it, and apply it. It’s about not just reading or listening to the Word only to walk away to the same habits that keep us in the same vicious cycle. No, when we do life with other mature Christians, they will remind us that God is in control and working in ways we cannot see. They will help us plant our faith so deeply in God that we are unshakable in the worst of storms.

Perhaps the greatest advantage to being in God’s Word is going back to Him after the world or our own insecurities beat us up to find God’s love isn’t fleeting. It’s easy to see our failures and the way things aren’t what we hoped. But God’s Word is like a constant cheerleader, reminding us we aren’t too damaged and haven’t wandered too far from His grace.

Jesus may lament that we get it wrong more often than we should, but only to make us stop long enough to get our attention off of us, away from the world, and back to him. Over and over his Word reminds us of our worth, our mission, and his love. We get to know the character of Jesus, and that’s when we know that after he cringes in lament, he’s sure to add encouragement like:

“I got that. You’re forgiven. Move on.”

“I know you’re trying, and I know it’s hard. Don’t give up.”

“They don’t understand, but I do.”

“I love that about you.”

“I saw that. It was amazing. Don’t ever stop doing that.”

Those are words I love to hear from God. How about you? ~OC

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Let Love Flow

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings of OC.” This was written back in 2023.

“Love overlooks the mistakes of others, but dwelling on the failures of others devastates friendships.” ~Proverbs 17:9

Jesus said that “your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:35)

One way of showing love is forgiving people’s fault. Even if they chose to hurt you on purpose.

Forgiveness can be difficult, but when we consider what God did through Jesus Christ, in that He made allowances for our faults before we made them, we should be able to find a place in our hearts to forgive.

So today, let us take time to search our hearts and make the decision to let love flow. To let love prosper. To make the choice to forgive. Today, let love win! ~OC

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