Thoughts and Prayers Are Not Enough

Here I am again, writing about another school shooting in America. This is getting old and more frustrating. When will America wake up and realize that common sense gun laws and more mental health resources are needed to help curb this type of violence?

I also offer the following challenge to those politicians and decision makers who will share their “thoughts and prayers” with the families. Please don’t, if there is no action behind those sentiments. Instead, express the actual thoughts you are thinking and the actual prayers you are praying. I mean that quite literally. They are far more meaningful than an empty worthless phrase that is really designed to ease our own discomfort and let us off the hook from having to do anything.

And then match your actions with your prayers and your thoughts. That’s how it works.

If you need an example of how this works, here’s my own personal example. After one of the school shootings earlier this year I lamented to God, saying something “How long oh Lord? How long? I’m so tired of the empty rhetorical cycle that happens after a shooting. A shooting happens, then “thoughts and prayers” which no one actually seems to do, then a pointless debate in which people talk over each other, and then nothing changes. Enough! This cannot keep going on. Amen.”

Please understand, I believe in the power of prayer. But if there is no action behind those prayers, what is the point.

I know even with common sense gun laws and more mental health resources there is a chance that school shootings could still happen, but I truly believe we would see less of these tragic events.

In the end, I just want “thoughts and prayers” to actually mean something and lead to real change. ~OC

Choose Wisely

Today’s a new day! As Christian’s, the way we treat people can drive them out of the church or to the foot of the alter. Chose wisely. ~OC

Let’s Talk

Today’s a new day! This morning I want to discuss a tough issue for many in the Christian community. Mental Health. Unfortunately, many believers have made it difficult for those dealing with mental health issues to share and get the help they need.

Mental health issues can still be a highly stigmatized topic in the church. Although many Believers know the trials of occasional anxiety or having the blues, people with a diagnosed mental illness face unique challenges. Some are confronted by Christians who espouse false doctrine that health issues are a sign of unresolved sin or lack of faith. This is a Big Lie!

I want to encourage anyone dealing with mental health issues or any health issue to get the necessary medical care they need. There is nothing wrong with taking medications, having a therapist and loving Jesus all at the same time. There should be no shame or condemnation.

The same biblical truths that have encouraged Christians for centuries can encourage those who suffer with mental health today. I pray those walking through the trials of mental health will cling to these words of encouragement.

1. You Are Not Alone

God’s people have suffered—mentally, emotionally, and physically—since the fall in the garden. Even Jesus cried out in despair on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46), When we suffer, we are never alone. Never be afraid to reach out for help. Speaking openly about your mental health issues allows those around you to share their own struggles. This allows us all to come together and care for one another.

2). Stop Blaming Yourself. Stop listening to those who may try to put a spiritual guilt trip on you. Mental health issues are not a punishment for sin or lack of faith. As you walk through this journey, I encourage you to keep your eyes on God. He has some amazing plans for your life. Keep leaning into His beautiful promises.

3). Remember, God sees you, loves you and is always with you. Thankfully, we have a wonderful Savior who experiences emotions. As you walk through the effects of mental illness, remember the nearness of Christ. He weeps with you. God knows how He is going to work in and through each of our lives and is with us in the midst of all of our trials. By the amazing grace of God, he sent the Holy Spirit, our comforter and counselor, to be with us , to help us through every moment of life. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us (Romans 8:27). He is there for us when we do not have the words.

4). God’s Word Speaks to us (Romans 15:4).

The word of God isn’t afraid to talk about mental and emotional issues.

Keep the truth of God’s words close. Share them with a close friend, family member, or accountability partner who can remind you when you forget or when you do not have the energy or willpower to remind yourself.

The truth is some will deal with mental health issues for a lifetime. But remember, we can all rejoice in the greatness and sovereignty of our loving Savior. I pray that God will make known his love and strength in all of our struggles. ~OC

Celebrated

Today’s a new day! Go where your celebrated,not where your tolerated. Protect your peace. Always be who you were created to be. ~OC

Warning!

Today’s a new day! Be careful of people who claim to be your friend, feel the freedom to share your story, but you haven’t seen or heard from them in months or even years. Do not allow them to be part of your boat. They add nothing to your story. ~OC

The Power of One

Today’s a new day! More importantly, it’s Rosa Parks Day. On December 1, 1955, Rosa Parks changed the course of history with one act. Ms. Parks refused to give up her seat on the city bus to a white passenger, as the unjust law demanded her to do during that time of American History. She was removed from the bus and arrested. Yet her spontaneous defiance sparked the ensuing Montgomery Bus Boycott, a movement of blacks and whites that took shape within hours of her arrest and advanced the civil rights movement across the United States. The boycott lasted 381 days. A time in which black commuters walked, rode bikes, or accepted rides from sympathetic supporters — until a district court ruling declared bus segregation unconstitutional. This ruling was upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court, striking down the practice across the country. And this was just the beginning: the boycott galvanized a national network of support, and created a framework of committed activists, that would form the backbone of the civil rights movement for decades to come. ~OC

“People always say that I didn’t give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn’t true. I was not tired physically… No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in.” ~Rosa Parks

Sportsmanship

Today’s a new day! The last few days we celebrated Rivalry Week in College Football. The games did not disappoint. There were some amazing moments, finishes and upsets. But most people will not be talking about that today. No, sadly most people will be discussing incidents of winning teams trying to place their team flags on the logos of the losing teams and the brawls that ensued. At Ohio State, police used pepper spray on players. How crazy is that. Which brings me to the question about sportsmanship.

Although it comes in many forms, everyone can give a few examples of what sportsmanship looks like and what it takes to be viewed as a “good sport”: We shake hands before and after games, we clap for injured players once they show they are okay, and we extend a hand to help an opponent get up off of the ground. These examples are just scratching the surface of displaying good sportsmanship.

Sportsmanship is an understanding of and commitment to fair play, ethical behavior and integrity, and general goodwill toward an opponent. It is an affirmation that an athlete is disciplined enough to have perspective, maintain poise and do what is best for his or her teammates.

Being able to make appropriate behavioral choices at the “moment of truth” and in a pressure situation will often reveal a player’s character and his or her ability to be a good sport. Simply put, sportsmanship is a choice.

It is easy for the athletes, coaches and fans to get caught up in a game and become too focused on winning. Although winning is important, it is not always the most important aspect of the game. There is so much to be gained and learned from an athletic experience that will stay with us for the rest of our lives. Good sportsmanship is one of those life lessons that should be intentionally learned, taught, practiced and reinforced.

No matter how much we would like to, we cannot win at everything every time. So we need to learn to deal with defeat. After a hard fought game in which everything was left on the playing field in a losing effort, it can be very difficult to look your opponents in the eye and tell them “good game” or “good job.” But this is what is asked of athletes. The key question is: How do we handle losing with class?

Keep losing in perspective. Just as in life, sports are a learning experience. Very few wins and losses are remembered, even a short time later. 

Always accept responsibility for the loss. Acknowledge the winners and congratulate them. Sometimes your opponent was just better. Even if they are not better, they were better on that particular day. The effort should be acknowledged. Sulking shows a lack of discipline and respect.

Winning is fun! It is the reward for your hard work. But excessive gloating and flaunting your win in front of the losing team does not promote or show good sportsmanship. Remember how you feel when you’re on the losing side of a sporting or life event.

Keep winning in perspective. Winning doesn’t mean you were perfect or that you will win again. Celebrate your win, but celebrate your win with class, respect and grace.

Have empathy for the team you defeated; win with humility and class. Acknowledge your opponents’ effort and that they were worthy competitors. The late , great North Carolina basketball Coach Dean Smith once said, “A lion never roars after a kill.” I love that quote and the parallel to what “good winning” should look like.

Life is tough, and life is not fair. Like life, sports are tough and not always fair. Yet sports can be a wonderful training ground for life’s challenges. Just like we win some and lose some in sports, we also deal with plenty of successes, challenges and failures in our own lives. Let’s try to be good sports in both the winning and losing situations and during our successes, challenges and failures.

Let me leave you with a few more quote about sportsmanship:

“One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it.” ~ Former University of Notre Dame Head Football Coach Knute Rockne

“Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.” ~ MLB Hall of Famer Cal Ripken, Jr.

“If character is what you do when no one is watching, then sportsmanship is that conduct with everybody watching.” ~ ESPN Sportscaster Bob Ley

“Sportsmanship is that quality of honor that desires always to be courteous, fair, and respectful, and it is interpreted in the conduct of players, spectators, coaches, and school authorities.” ~ Former University of Michigan Head Football Coach and Athletic Director Fielding H. Yost

I truly hope we will spend some time reflecting on the importance of sportsmanship in all areas of sports and life. ~OC

True Friendships

Today’s a new day! True friends never make you feel like a burden. A true friend is never burdened with stressful promises and obligations.  When true friends step up, it’s because they care and because they want to.

Don’t chase after friendships. True friendships don’t need to be chased.  If someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You should never have to fight for a spot in their life. Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. ~OC

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