Men and Friendships

Today’s a new day! Hello men. This post is for us. I want to get real about friendships. Based on my own experience and talking with other men, we are mostly failing in the area of friendship. Most men I have talked to share they have many surface friendships, but lack deep meaningful friendships. Can any other men relate?

I personally want to have intentional friendships that have meaning and depth. It appears so many men are happy with surface friendships. They fear deep intimate friendships. The casual version of friendship is sadly repeated over and over again and not just with guys outside the church. Men in the church are not doing much better. From my own observation, most men lack true friendships and happily settle for less. We use phrases like he’s my buddy or bro. These are not bad relationships, but just other men who do not understand the importance of having intentional friendships.

I could go into deep reasons why so many men lack deep friendships with other men, but so many of them are just excuses. Most of the time it comes down to laziness. Men like to use the excuse of being too busy. But that doesn’t fly. Go check with your wife or girlfriend. Their schedules are just as busy if not busier than yours, but they still find time for deep and meaningful friendships. As men we settle for less because we do not want to put in the time and effort.

Where are your friends that you can lean on and that can lean on you? Can you pray with them? Can you talk about real life with them? Your failures and successes. Over the years, I have observed too many men are scared to share their wounds, emotions, or real life issues with other men. The best example of a man we have is Jesus. He cried, he got angry, he had a tender heart. He chose to invest in real relationships with 12 other men. He dared to hold those men accountable. To walk through life together. The good and bad. To serve together. Do you have those type of men in your life? We all need men we can challenge and men who will challenge us to be better men. We need to be intentional in our friendships with other men.

So I want to encourage you and myself to do the following:

*Chose to take a risk and open up to some of the men in your life. See what happens. Jesus was not afraid to be vulnerable.

*Chose to be a better friend. Start to be intentional and sacrificial for other men. Asked the tough questions. Listen without interrupting or trying to fix the problem. Share your hopes, failures and dreams. Pray together.

*Chose to pray that God places Godly men into your life, then be on the lookout for them.

Notice how Jesus chose to be open and honest with the disciples. He chose to serve them and together serve others. Jesus chose to be intentional with these 12 men. Are we willing to do that with the men in our lives? It might not be easy, but I promise it will be life changing if we choose to put in the time and effort. No more excuses men. ~OC

Living In Hope

Today’s a new day! I throw off the covers and give praise for another day. Avoid the tv because the news will try and steal my hope. Same bad news they been pushing for a week or two. Listen too long and you might buy that fear and doubt. They might just steal your hope along the way.

No, I will start my day soaking in the Good News. Allow those words to flow through me and give me strength for another day. If you don’t watch out this world will try and steal your hope. Better stay in the Word and strengthen your heart and mind. It’s a cruel world out there looking to kill and destroy.

It’s hard to hear that still small voice, when the world is feeding your head with all that noise. Climb the corporate latter and you’ll finally be satisfied. Break the glass ceiling and you’ll finally be satisfied. Get that house in the gated community and you’ll finally be satisfied. Keep living for the world and pretty soon you’ll be looking for your hope. Never allow the world to steal your hope.

Living in hope means the storm will get better.
Living in hope means I still have purpose.
Living in hope means God’s still writing my story.
Living in hope means I can still be His hands and feet.

Dear God, help me to stand strong and never lose hope. Help me to keep leaning into your promises. Keep my eyes on the prize. I believe your not finished with me yet. Let me keep soaking in your hope. ~OC

Adversity

Today’s a new day! We will all face adversity in our lives. I pray as we face the challenges of life, we take the opportunity to set an example of the love, peace and grace of God. When those around us see us facing the storms of life with unwavering love and patience, they see a true example of a Christian walking out their faith. ~OC

19th Mile Moments

Today’s a new day! During my marathon running days, mile 19 was when I hit the wall. When I just felt like giving up. Thankfully, God always gave me extra strength to push through and finish the race. So as I have walked this 20+ health journey, I often refer to the tough moments as my 19th mile.

During this crazy beautiful health journey, God continually reminds me that His love and grace are sufficient. Throughout my health journey, God has taught me several important 19 mile lessons. I have learned to trust in God’s plan for my life despite how I feel on any particular day. To turn to Him for strength, peace and wisdom during my darkest moments. God has also taught me to humble myself and ask for help when needed (not always easy for me) and most importantly, that all my hope is in Jesus alone.

I long for the day to see Jesus face to face, to receive my glorified body, and walk the streets of Heaven without pain or disease. Totally healed! Until then, I will walk by faith and keep leaning into the beautiful promises of God.

I pray this post brings you some encouragement as you walk your own crazy beautiful journey. Keep running the race and never let mile 19 break you. Stay Focused. Finish Strong. ~OC

Walk In Freedom

Today’s a new day! Let praises arise from the depths of the storms you are facing. Allow the praises to burst through the brokenness and disappointments that are trying to consume your life. The hope and promises of God will totally free you from the strongholds that are giving you a worldly view of your current situation. Allow God to free you from those shackles. Walk in freedom! ~OC

Healing

Today’s a new day! As I was praying early this morning, I felt God saying this was going to be a week of healing. If you or a loved one needs healing, I encourage you to keep leaning into God. Blessings. ~OC

God’s Promises

Today’s a new day! God has promised to look after me…. to bring help. God, who defends me, who is far greater in strength than my health issues or anything life throws at me. God, who spoke and whose words caused the universe to be. His word is true, unfailing. If He promises something, He will deliver. ~OC

Storms, Trials and Sorrows

Today’s a new day! I love that Jesus doesn’t simply say we will have storms, trials and sorrows and then leaves it to us to try and figure out. No, he promises peace and reminds us that he has overcome the world. Which means our hardships are not without purpose.

This is why the Apostle Paul who experienced much pain and difficulty during his life can boldly declare these beautiful words in Romans 8:28:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Radical Obedience

Today’s a new day! Radical obedience to Jesus does not seek to conform to the standards set by the world. No, radical obedience to Jesus is completely laying everything at his feet. Radical obedience is pursuing Jesus at all cost. Radical obedience is saying yes to Jesus when he says “Sell it all and go serve me.” Are you walking in radical obedience to Jesus?

I pray every Christian will pray this prayer each morning:

Dear Jesus, fill me with your radical faith that does not waver in hard times.

The Boat

Today’s a new day! At one point during my beautiful life, my friendship list looked like a big cruise ship. Many people laughing and having fun. Life was great. Then I got sick and the boat began to get smaller. Of course that was rough to endure, but God gave me peace.

Then I experienced a beautiful miracle and all of the sudden the boat started getting bigger, but most of the relationships were not real. They were based on what God had done in my life. People cared more about the miracle than they did about me. Once again tough to endure, but God guided me through this storm. He even told me on a walk one early August morning, that my inner circle would get smaller. There would be fewer people on the boat. This did not scare me, it actually gave me peace.

Then I had a stroke a few weeks ago and more friends jumped off the boat. This time I was prepared for it. Less phone calls checking in or returning my calls or text. God had clearly prepared me for this time. That doesn’t mean there was not some pain and disappointment.

But as I continue to walk through this new crazy beautiful health journey, I cling to the friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. The ones who actually reach out to me without any prompting and reassure me they are not leaving the boat regardless of how big the waves get. We will endure together. How blessed to have people in the boat who reassure me they are not abandoning me. Who tell me they don’t care how small the boat gets. No matter how rough the waves become. “Todd, I am not leaving the boat.” How encouraging those words are as Laura and I move through this new storm.

As I wrote the words above, I realized I have never needed rescuing from the boat. God has always been and always will be in the boat with me. He has never thought about abandoning me. I am thankful for those God chooses stay in the boat with me. But my hope and peace comes from God who created the boat and me. The One who can calm the raging seas with just a whisper.

If you are dealing with a storm in your life, look around and see who’s in your boat. When you find them cherish them. During the storms of life, learn to sit in the boat with others. Embrace those in the boat. Encourage those in the boat. Empower those in the boat. ~OC

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