Tag: Social Media

Stop Scrolling, America: You Look Like You Need A Hug

STOP SCROLLING.

Seriously.

Put down the phone for a minute.

Turn off the cable news.

Step away from the outrage machine.

Take a breath.

Because my country is hurting.

WE, THE PEOPLE, ARE HURTING.

And pretending everything is fine isn’t going to make it better.

We are exhausted.

We are angry.

We are divided.

We are scared.

We are frustrated.

We are watching neighbors turn against neighbors and families turn against families.

We’ve allowed political parties to become identities and political opponents to become enemies.

We’ve allowed algorithms, politicians, pundits, and influencers to convince us that the person on the other side of the aisle is somehow less American than we are.

STOP.

Just stop.

Your neighbor isn’t your enemy because they voted differently.

Your coworker isn’t your enemy because they worship differently.

Your friend isn’t your enemy because they were born somewhere else.

Your family member isn’t your enemy because they see the world differently.

They are human beings.

And they’re hurting too.

Behind every political argument is a person.

A mother worried about her children.

A father wondering how he’s going to pay the bills.

A senior choosing between groceries and medicine.

A young person wondering if there is still a future worth believing in.

A patient fighting for another day.

A grieving family trying to figure out how to keep going.

A lonely person desperately hoping somebody notices them.

These are our people.

Not their people.

OUR people.

We don’t have to agree with one another to care about one another.

We don’t have to share the same politics to share the same humanity.

We don’t have to worship the same way, speak the same language, look the same, come from the same country, or vote for the same candidates to understand one simple truth:

We are all human beings.

And America is supposed to be bigger than our divisions.

Bigger than our political parties.

Bigger than our outrage.

Bigger than our fear.

Bigger than our hatred.

America was never supposed to be us versus them.

America is supposed to be WE, THE PEOPLE.

So here’s the challenge:

STOP looking for reasons to hate each other.

Start looking for reasons to help.

STOP asking, “What party are you?”

Start asking, “How are you doing?”

STOP asking, “Who did you vote for?”

Start asking, “How can I help?”

STOP trying to win every argument.

Start trying to heal a few wounds.

STOP dehumanizing people.

Start seeing people.

And when you see someone hurting, don’t ask whether they deserve compassion.

Give it.

When someone falls, help them up.

When someone is hungry, feed them.

When someone is lonely, sit with them.

When someone is afraid, remind them they aren’t alone.

When someone is different from you, get to know them.

And when someone disagrees with you…

LISTEN.

You might discover that you have far more in common than you ever imagined.

America doesn’t need more people screaming at each other.

America needs people who remember how to be neighbors.

Stand for truth.

Stand for justice.

Stand for compassion.

Stand for freedom.

Stand for the vulnerable.

Stand for the people who have no voice.

And stand for what is right—even when it’s unpopular.

Because the strength of America has never been that we all think alike.

Our strength is that we can be different and still choose to live together.

We can disagree and still love.

We can argue and still respect.

We can come from different places and still call this country home.

We can have different beliefs and still recognize the dignity of another human being.

THAT is strength.

Not cruelty.

Not hatred.

Not humiliation.

Not division.

True strength is having the courage to love people you don’t agree with.

So, America…

HEY, AMERICA.

You look like you need a hug.

And honestly?

So do we.

My country is hurting.

We, the People, are hurting.

But I refuse to believe this is the end of our story.

I still believe in America.

I still believe in our neighbors.

I still believe in ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

I still believe we can put down the weapons of division and pick up the tools of compassion.

I still believe we can look across the aisle and see a fellow American instead of an enemy.

I still believe we can choose humanity.

I still believe we can choose decency.

I still believe we can choose courage.

I still believe we can choose each other.

So here’s what I ask of every American reading this:

Don’t become part of the problem.

Be the person who refuses to hate on command.

Be the person who listens before judging.

Be the person who helps when helping is needed.

Be the person who refuses to let politics erase someone’s humanity.

Be the neighbor who shows up.

Because this country doesn’t belong to one party.

It belongs to all of us.

WE, THE PEOPLE.

Different.

Imperfect.

Hurting.

Hopeful.

Still here.

Still capable of choosing something better.

So, America…

Come here.

Let’s hug it out.

Then let’s roll up our sleeves, look one another in the eye, and remember what those three words were always supposed to mean:

WE, THE PEOPLE.

Not us versus them.

Us.

All of us.

And if we’re going to heal this country, it starts right there.

With us. ~OC

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Twenty Reasons to Get Out of Bed Every Day

Sometimes getting out of bed can be tough.

Can I get an amen?

As I have walked this crazy, beautiful health journey, I have learned a few lessons. I have learned that some mornings begin with pain. Some begin with exhaustion. Some begin with questions we don’t have answers for. And some mornings, simply putting your feet on the floor feels like an accomplishment.

But I’ve also learned something else:

As long as God gives us another day, there is still a reason to get up.

So, from someone who has learned to keep fighting, keep believing, and keep overcoming, here are 20 reasons to get out of bed every day:

1. Because you woke up.

Every new morning is a gift. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow isn’t promised. But today is here.

2. Because God isn’t finished with you.

If you’re still here, your story isn’t over. There is still purpose in your life.

3. Because someone needs you.

Your spouse, your children, your family, your friends, your church, your neighbor—or someone you haven’t even met yet.

4. Because there is still someone to love.

Love isn’t just something we receive. It’s something we give away.

5. Because there is still someone who needs encouragement.

Sometimes your simple “I’m praying for you” can change someone’s entire day.

6. Because your testimony matters.

Someone may be watching how you walk through your storm. Your scars may become someone else’s hope.

7. Because pain doesn’t get the final word.

Pain may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to define your story.

8. Because there are still miracles to witness.

Sometimes miracles look like healing. Sometimes they look like strength to make it through another day.

9. Because you can still make a difference.

You don’t have to change the entire world. Sometimes changing one person’s world is enough.

10. Because tomorrow’s blessing may require today’s obedience.

You may not understand what God is doing today. Keep walking anyway.

11. Because there are still memories to make.

There are sunsets you haven’t seen, conversations you haven’t had, places you haven’t visited and moments you haven’t experienced.

12. Because laughter is still waiting for you.

Life can be incredibly hard, but there is still room for joy.

13. Because somebody needs to hear your story.

Never underestimate what God can do with a life that refuses to give up.

14. Because you are more than your circumstances.

Your diagnosis isn’t your identity. Your failures aren’t your identity. Your worst day isn’t your identity.

15. Because there is still work to do.

Maybe it’s big. Maybe it’s small. Maybe it’s simply loving the person standing beside you. It all matters.

16. Because hope is still alive.

Even when you can’t see the way forward, you can take the next step.

17. Because God can bring beauty from brokenness.

Some of the most beautiful things in life can grow from the hardest seasons.

18. Because someone else needs to see you keep going.

Your perseverance may give someone else permission to believe they can keep going too.

19. Because you haven’t seen the end of your story.

Don’t close the book while God is still writing the chapters.

20. Because Jesus is still with you.

Through the good days. Through the bad days. Through the pain, fear, uncertainty and exhaustion.

You are never walking alone.

So tomorrow morning, when getting out of bed feels impossible, start small.

Put your feet on the floor.

Take a breath.

Say a prayer.

And whisper:

“Lord, thank You for another day. I don’t know what today will bring, but I’m still here. I’m still fighting. I’m still believing. I’m still overcoming. Let’s see what You can do with this day.”

Then get up.

Not because every day will be easy.

But because every day is still worth living.

Keep fighting.
Keep believing.
Keep loving.
Keep overcoming.

And most importantly—

Keep Jesus at the center of it all.

Today is a new day.

Get up. God isn’t finished with you yet. ~OC

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The World Is A Subway Car

THE WORLD IS A SUBWAY CAR

Think about the world for a moment as if it were one giant subway car.

People are packed inside.

Some are sitting quietly, staring out the window. Some are talking loudly. Some are laughing. Some are crying where nobody can see. Some are exhausted from the journey. Some are angry. Some are afraid.

Some know exactly where they’re going.

Others aren’t even sure what station comes next.

And somehow, we’re all riding together.

That’s what makes the subway such a powerful picture of our world.

We don’t get to choose everyone who gets on the train.

We don’t get to choose everyone’s politics, religion, race, nationality, economic situation, personality, or past.

We don’t get to know everyone’s story just by looking at them.

The person sitting across from you might be carrying a broken heart.

The person standing beside you might be fighting a battle nobody knows about.

The person who looks angry might have spent the night crying.

The person who seems completely lost might simply need someone to remind them that they aren’t alone.

And here’s the thing:

We’re all passengers.

None of us owns the subway car.

None of us gets to declare that only people who look like us, think like us, worship like us, or vote like us belong inside.

We’re sharing the ride.

And every person on that train has a story.

DIFFERENT STATIONS

Life takes us through different stations.

Birth.

Childhood.

Friendship.

Love.

Loss.

Success.

Failure.

Illness.

Grief.

Change.

Hope.

And eventually, our earthly journey comes to an end.

Some people ride with us for decades.

Others get off after only a few stops.

Some people enter our lives unexpectedly and change everything.

Others leave behind memories that stay with us long after they’ve disappeared through the doors.

That’s life.

We are constantly meeting people at different stations.

And perhaps the question isn’t simply:

“Where are you going?”

Perhaps the more important question is:

“How are you treating the people riding beside you?”

THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU MATTERS

Jesus never seemed overly concerned with building walls between people.

He crossed boundaries.

He talked with people others avoided.

He touched people others considered untouchable.

He stopped for people others walked past.

He noticed people.

That’s something the world desperately needs right now.

We need to notice people again.

Not labels.

Not stereotypes.

Not political categories.

Not social-media arguments.

People.

The human being sitting beside us.

The mother trying to hold her family together.

The veteran carrying memories from a battlefield.

The immigrant hoping for a safer tomorrow.

The elderly person who hasn’t had a meaningful conversation in days.

The teenager wondering if anyone sees them.

The person battling addiction.

The person grieving a spouse.

The person living with chronic illness.

The person who smiles every day while privately wondering how much longer they can keep going.

You may never know what someone is carrying.

So be kind.

SOMETIMES THE TRAIN GETS DARK

Every subway has tunnels.

There are moments when the windows become black and all you can see is your own reflection.

Life has tunnels too.

Cancer.

Parkinson’s.

Dementia.

Grief.

Divorce.

Financial hardship.

Loneliness.

Addiction.

Fear.

Depression.

Loss.

There are seasons when it feels like the train has entered a tunnel and God has disappeared from view.

But here’s something important about a tunnel:

The darkness doesn’t mean the train has stopped moving.

You may not see the destination.

You may not understand the route.

You may not know why you’re going through this particular tunnel.

But the train can still be moving forward.

Sometimes faith is simply holding on until the lights come back on.

DON’T MISS YOUR STOP

One day, every one of us will reach our final station.

And when that happens, I don’t think we’ll be thinking about how many arguments we won on social media.

I don’t think we’ll care who had the better political meme.

I don’t think we’ll wish we’d spent more time proving ourselves right.

We’ll remember people.

We’ll remember conversations.

We’ll remember moments when somebody showed up.

We’ll remember the hand that reached for ours when we were hurting.

We’ll remember the person who prayed with us.

We’ll remember the person who stayed when everyone else left.

So while you’re riding this train called life, don’t miss the opportunities to love people.

Don’t be so busy staring at your phone that you miss the person sitting beside you.

Don’t be so consumed with being right that you forget to be kind.

Don’t become so comfortable in your own little corner of the subway car that you forget there are hurting people everywhere around you.

WE’RE ALL GOING SOMEWHERE

The world is a subway car.

We’re all passengers.

We’re all carrying something.

We’re all headed toward another station.

And maybe our assignment isn’t to control the entire train.

Maybe it’s simply to make the ride a little better for the people God has placed around us.

Offer encouragement.

Give grace.

Listen.

Forgive.

Help somebody carry their bags.

Make room.

Speak hope.

Stand beside the hurting.

Love your neighbor.

And when someone gets on the train who looks different from you, remember:

They’re a passenger too.

They have a story.

They have a destination.

They have hopes.

They have fears.

They have value.

And they were created by the same God who created you.

So let’s stop treating one another like enemies riding in opposing subway cars.

We’re on the same train.

We’re sharing the same journey.

And every station we pass is another opportunity to love somebody.

The doors are closing.

The train is moving.

We don’t know how many stops we have left.

So let’s make every stop count.

Let’s love while we’re here.

Let’s serve while we’re here.

Let’s forgive while we’re here.

Let’s encourage while we’re here.

Let’s point people toward Jesus while we’re here.

And when our journey is finally finished, may we be able to look back and say:

“I didn’t just ride the train.”

“I helped somebody make it to the next station.”

Keep loving.
Keep serving.
Keep encouraging.
Keep overcoming.

And whatever station you’re at today—remember, you’re not riding alone. ~OC

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Dear America, I’m Tired

I’M TIRED.

I’m tired of the lies.
I’m tired of the misinformation.
I’m tired of the arrogance.
And I’m tired of being told that everything is better when so many Americans are struggling to see it in their own lives.

As an American, I don’t want to blindly defend a political party or a president. I want to defend truth, accountability, freedom, and the people who call this country home.

The numbers matter.

Inflation is still putting pressure on American families. The latest BLS report shows consumer prices were up 3.4% over the previous year, while real average hourly earnings declined in August.

And we are now months into a war with Iran that has already cost tens of billions of dollars. A September Reuters/Ipsos poll found that only 25% of Americans considered the war worthwhile, while 82% expected the conflict to continue for an extended period.

That isn’t something we should simply accept because someone tells us it’s necessary.

Questioning our government isn’t being anti-American.

Demanding honesty isn’t being disloyal.

Wanting peace isn’t weakness.

And asking whether our leaders are actually making life better for ordinary Americans isn’t political extremism.

It is citizenship.

I don’t expect every American to agree with me. In fact, I believe disagreement is part of what makes our country work.

But I do expect us to demand more from those entrusted with enormous power.

Less arrogance.
Less propaganda.
Less division.
Less blaming.
Less pretending everything is perfect.

And more truth.
More humility.
More accountability.
More listening.
More diplomacy.
More concern for working families, veterans, children, seniors, and people who are simply trying to survive.

I don’t want America to fail.

Quite the opposite.

I want America to heal.

I want America to come together.

I want leaders who understand that serving the American people is a privilege—not a personal kingdom.

So I’m praying.

I’m praying for new beginnings.

I’m praying for real leadership.

I’m praying for wisdom in Washington and peace around the world.

And I’m praying that Americans—regardless of political party—will stop allowing politicians to convince us that we have to hate one another in order to love our country.

We can do better.

America can and must do better.

And I still believe there is hope.

God, give us leaders with wisdom, humility, courage, integrity, and a genuine heart for the people they serve. And give us the courage to demand nothing less. Amen. ~OC

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I’m Curious

In a Facebook post, one of my friends poised the following questions.

The questions peaked my curiosity.

Can we act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God while serving under the banner of the American government?

Can we claim to be a nation founded on freedom while ignoring the freedom, dignity, and humanity of our neighbors?

Can we call ourselves a Christian nation while forgetting that Jesus never told us to love only the people who look like us, vote like us, worship like us, or were born where we were born?

Is our country poised to encourage us to love our neighbors as ourselves?

I’m curious.

Because Micah 6:8 doesn’t say:

Act justly when it’s politically convenient.

Love mercy when the person deserves it.

Walk humbly when everyone agrees with you.

It simply says:

“Do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God.”

And Jesus didn’t give us a list of exceptions when He said:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Our allegiance to Jesus must always be greater than our allegiance to a political party, a government, an ideology, or even our own comfort.

America has laws.

America has leaders.

America has political parties.

But Jesus has disciples.

And disciples are called to something higher.

We are called to feed the hungry.

Welcome the stranger.

Defend the vulnerable.

Care for the forgotten.

Stand with the oppressed.

Speak truth when truth costs us something.

Love our enemies.

And treat every human being as someone created in the image of God.

So maybe the question isn’t simply:

“Is America doing enough?”

Maybe the harder question is:

“Am I?”

Am I loving my neighbor?

Am I showing mercy?

Am I pursuing justice?

Am I walking humbly?

Am I willing to speak when silence would be easier?

Am I willing to stand with people Jesus would have stood beside—even when standing there costs me friends, followers, comfort, or approval?

Because before I am an American…

I am a follower of Jesus.

And when the values of my government, my political party, or my culture collide with the teachings of Christ, I don’t get to rewrite Jesus.

I have to follow Him.

That’s not anti-American.

That’s discipleship.

Jesus first.
Neighbor second.
Politics somewhere far behind.

So yes…

I’m curious.

What would America look like if Christians actually took Jesus seriously?

Not just on Sunday.

Not just in our churches.

Not just when it benefits us.

But everywhere.

Maybe that’s where the real change begins. ~OC

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Be The Calm

Today’s a new day!

There is enough chaos in this world without us adding to it.

Enough anger.
Enough outrage.
Enough arguing.
Enough division.
Enough people reacting before they ever stop to think.

And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do isn’t to speak louder.

It’s to stay calm.

When everyone else is losing their minds, be the person who brings peace.

When everyone else is reacting, be the person who pauses.

When everyone else is throwing gasoline on the fire, be the person who refuses to pick up the match.

When everyone else is looking for someone to blame, be the person willing to extend grace.

Because as followers of Jesus, we were never called to mirror the chaos around us.

We were called to carry something different.

Jesus didn’t promise us a life without storms.

He promised us His presence in the middle of them.

Think about Jesus asleep in the boat while the disciples were terrified by the storm. The waves were crashing. Fear had taken over. Everyone was panicking.

And Jesus got up and spoke to the storm:

“Peace! Be still!”

Maybe sometimes the miracle God wants to work through us isn’t calming the storm around us.

Maybe it’s teaching us how to remain calm while we’re standing in it.

You don’t have to answer every accusation.

You don’t have to win every argument.

You don’t have to respond to every criticism.

You don’t have to match someone else’s anger.

You don’t have to become bitter because someone else is bitter.

And you certainly don’t have to join the storm just because everyone else is standing in the rain.

Be different.

Be the calm.

Be the peace.

Be the person who walks into a chaotic room and changes the atmosphere—not because you have all the answers, but because you know the One who does.

The world doesn’t need more people adding to the noise.

It needs people who carry peace.

People who know when to speak and when to remain silent.

People who choose grace when anger would be easier.

People who choose forgiveness when bitterness feels justified.

People who refuse to let the storm outside determine the condition of their heart inside.

So today, before you react, pause.

Before you respond, pray.

Before you speak, ask yourself whether your words will bring healing or simply add to the storm.

You may not be able to control the storm.

But with God’s help, you can control whether you become part of it.

Don’t join the storm.

Be the calm in the middle of it.

And maybe, just maybe, someone who is drowning in the storm will find their way to Jesus because they saw His peace living inside of you. ~OC

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The Mountain

Is God is calling you to climb a mountain?

You’ve been staring at this mountain long enough.

The diagnosis.
The disappointment.
The betrayal.
The loss.
The fear.
The rejection.
The impossible situation.

And somewhere along the way, you started believing that because the mountain is BIG, your God must be small.

NO.

Caleb stood at 85 years old and looked at a mountain filled with giants and said:

“GIVE ME THIS MOUNTAIN.”

Not give me an easier assignment.
Not give me a different battle.
Not wait until the circumstances improve.

Give me this mountain.

That’s the kind of faith I want.

Faith that doesn’t collapse when circumstances change.

Faith that doesn’t disappear when the answer doesn’t come quickly.

Faith that doesn’t need everything to make sense before it takes another step.

I will walk in the confidence of God- regardless of the mountain standing in front of me.

Because my confidence isn’t in my circumstances.

My confidence is in Jesus.

The mountain doesn’t determine whether God is faithful.

The diagnosis doesn’t determine whether God is faithful.

The storm doesn’t determine whether God is faithful.

The enemy doesn’t determine whether God is faithful.

God is always faithful. Period.

So bring me the mountain.

Bring me the thing that scares me.

Bring me the thing that makes me realize I can’t do this in my own strength.

Because when I reach the place where I can’t, I discover the place where He can.

I don’t need to understand the entire journey.

I just need enough faith to take the next step.

One More Step.

When I’m tired—one more step.
When I’m afraid—one more step.
When I’m hurting—one more step.
When I can’t see the way forward—one more step.

Not because I’m strong enough.

Because Jesus is.

And hear me clearly:

I am not backing down.

I am not bowing to fear.
I am not surrendering to circumstances.
I am not allowing yesterday to dictate tomorrow.

God, give me this mountain.

Because I know who walks with me.

His name is Jesus.

The One who walked out of the grave.
The One who conquered death.
The One who holds my future.
The One who has never abandoned me.
The One who is still Lord when everything around me is falling apart.

I don’t need the mountain to be smaller.
I need my faith to become bigger.

So, Jesus…

Give me this mountain.

Give me the courage to climb it.
Give me the faith to face it.
Give me the strength to endure it.
Give me the perseverance to finish it.

And when I reach the top, I won’t take the credit.

I will point everyone to you.

Because I didn’t overcome because I was strong.

I overcame because Jesus was with me every step of the way.

The mountain may be big.
The battle may be real.
The circumstances may be brutal.

But Jesus is still Lord.

And if Jesus is with me—

I will keep on climbing.

Give me the mountain.
Give me Jesus.
and let’s go.

“Now therefore, give me this mountain…” — Joshua 14:12

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Do You Have a Healthy Place to Grieve?

Where do you go when your heart is hurting?

Not where do you go to distract yourself.

Not where do you go to pretend you’re okay.

Not where do you go to put on a smile so nobody asks questions.

Where do you go to grieve?

Because sooner or later, every one of us will experience loss.

We will lose people we love. We will lose dreams we once believed would come true. We will lose seasons of our lives. We will lose relationships, opportunities, abilities, homes, jobs, friendships, and sometimes even the person we thought we were going to become.

And sometimes the hardest grief isn’t the loss of a person.

Sometimes it’s grieving the life you thought you would have.

I’ve learned that grief doesn’t always look like tears.

Sometimes grief looks like anger.

Sometimes it looks like silence.

Sometimes it looks like exhaustion.

Sometimes it looks like sitting alone in a room because you don’t have the energy to explain what you’re feeling.

Sometimes grief looks like laughing with your friends while carrying an incredible amount of pain inside.

And sometimes grief comes years after the loss because we were too busy surviving to actually grieve.

So let me ask you something: Do you have a healthy place to grieve?

Because I believe this is something the Church needs to talk about more.

We are often very good at telling people to have faith.

“Pray about it.”

“Trust God.”

“God has a plan.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

And yes, there is truth in trusting God.

But sometimes we can use spiritual language to avoid emotional honesty.

Sometimes people don’t need us to explain their pain.

Sometimes they simply need someone willing to sit beside them in it.

Jesus Himself wept.

Think about that.

The Son of God stood at the tomb of Lazarus knowing that resurrection was coming, knowing that death would not have the final word, and Jesus still wept.

John 11:35 says:

“Jesus wept.”

He didn’t apologize for His tears.

He didn’t tell Himself He shouldn’t be sad because He knew what God was about to do.

He grieved.

And perhaps that gives us permission to grieve too.

Grief Isn’t a Failure of Faith

I think sometimes Christians are afraid to admit they’re hurting because they believe sadness somehow means they’re not trusting God enough.

But grief and faith can exist in the same heart.

You can trust God and still cry.

You can believe God is good and still be angry about what happened.

You can have hope and still experience heartbreak.

You can know that heaven is real and still miss someone desperately.

You can believe God has a purpose for your life and still mourn the dreams that never came true.

Faith doesn’t eliminate grief. Faith gives us somewhere to take it.

The Psalms are filled with people who cried out to God from the deepest places of their souls.

They didn’t sanitize their emotions.

They didn’t pretend everything was okay.

They brought their brokenness into the presence of God.

Maybe that’s what a healthy place to grieve looks like.

A place where you don’t have to pretend.

A place where you can say:

“God, I’m hurting.”

“God, I don’t understand.”

“God, I’m angry.”

“God, I miss them.”

“God, I’m afraid.”

“God, I don’t know how to move forward.”

And instead of running from God because of those feelings, you run to Him.

But We Also Need People

I believe God can meet us privately in our grief, but I also believe He created us for community.

We weren’t designed to carry everything alone.

Sometimes a healthy place to grieve is a trusted friend who doesn’t try to fix you.

It’s a spouse who lets you cry without telling you to stop.

It’s a pastor who listens instead of immediately preaching.

It’s a counselor who gives you permission to process what you’ve been through.

It’s a small group where you can take off the mask.

It’s someone who can sit in the silence with you and simply say:

“I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

We need people who understand that grief doesn’t operate on a schedule.

You can’t always tell someone to “move on.”

You can’t put a deadline on someone’s healing.

And you certainly can’t measure someone’s grief by how quickly they appear to be functioning again.

Some wounds take time.

Some losses change us forever.

And sometimes healing doesn’t mean forgetting.

Sometimes healing means learning how to carry the memory without allowing the pain to destroy you.

What Happens When We Don’t Have a Healthy Place to Grieve?

We find unhealthy places.

We bury it.

We numb it.

We isolate ourselves.

We become angry.

We become bitter.

We become addicted to distraction.

We pretend we’re fine.

We pour ourselves into work.

We hide behind ministry.

We hide behind church.

We hide behind our smiles.

We tell everyone, “I’m good,” when we’re anything but good.

And eventually, what we refuse to process begins processing us.

Unwept tears don’t simply disappear.

Unspoken pain doesn’t cease to exist.

Sometimes it comes out as anger.

Sometimes depression.

Sometimes anxiety.

Sometimes bitterness.

Sometimes we begin pushing away the very people who love us because we’re carrying pain we never learned how to express.

That’s why finding a healthy place to grieve matters.

Maybe Your Grief Needs a Name

Perhaps you’ve been calling yourself tired when you’re actually grieving.

Perhaps you’ve been calling yourself angry when you’re actually heartbroken.

Perhaps you’ve been calling yourself distant when you’re actually overwhelmed.

Perhaps you’ve been wondering why you’re struggling so much when the truth is simple:

You’ve experienced a loss, and your soul needs permission to acknowledge it.

So name it.

What are you grieving?

Who are you grieving?

What dream are you grieving?

What season are you grieving?

What version of yourself are you grieving?

What did you lose that you never gave yourself permission to mourn?

Sit with that question for a moment.

Don’t rush past it.

Because sometimes the beginning of healing is simply being honest enough to say:

“This hurt me.”

And Then Bring It to Jesus

Jesus isn’t intimidated by your grief.

Your tears don’t scare Him.

Your questions don’t scare Him.

Your anger doesn’t surprise Him.

Your broken heart doesn’t make Him uncomfortable.

He already knows.

And perhaps the invitation isn’t to figure everything out tonight.

Perhaps the invitation is simply:

Come.

Come with your questions.

Come with your tears.

Come with your anger.

Come with your memories.

Come with your broken dreams.

Come exactly as you are.

Because the same Jesus who stood beside a grieving family still meets people in their grief today.

Psalm 34:18 says:

“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted.”

Not far away.

Near.

That changes everything.

So if you’re grieving today, please hear this:

You don’t have to apologize for your pain.

You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.

You don’t have to rush your healing.

And you don’t have to grieve alone.

Find a healthy place.

Find safe people.

Find a trusted counselor, pastor, friend, spouse, support group, or community where you can be honest.

And most importantly, find your way into the presence of Jesus.

Cry if you need to cry.

Talk if you need to talk.

Sit silently if you can’t find the words.

But don’t bury your grief so deeply that you bury yourself with it.

Grieve.

Feel.

Pray.

Talk.

Heal.

And remember:

You can grieve deeply and still have hope.

You can be brokenhearted and still believe.

You can cry tonight and still wake up tomorrow believing that God is not finished with your story.

Because grief may be part of your story.

But it doesn’t have to be the end of it.

So I’ll ask you one more time:

Do you have a healthy place to grieve?

And if the answer is no…

Maybe today is the day you stop pretending you don’t need one. ~OC

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Parent Your Phone

As I watch the news or scroll through social media, I hear and read a lot about how parents should police their children’s cellphone use.

I agree.

But maybe as adults we need to be worried about just more than the younger generations phone use.


Maybe as adults we need to put OUR own phones down.

That one hurts.

Because we can talk about kids being addicted to their screens.

We can talk about teenagers who spend hours scrolling.

We can talk about social media stealing their attention.

We can talk about the dangers of what they’re watching.

But if we’re honest…

We have to look in the mirror first.

Because sometimes we are just as guilty of the very thing we’re warning everyone else about.

Our phone is beside us when we wake up.

It’s in our hands while we’re eating.

It’s there when someone is talking to us.

We reach for it when we’re bored.

We reach for it when we’re uncomfortable.

We reach for it when we’re lonely.

We reach for it when we don’t want to think about what we’re feeling.

And sometimes…

We reach for our phones before we reach for God.

Ouch.

Maybe we don’t need to parent our children’s phones nearly as much as we need to parent our own.

Because somewhere along the way, many of us stopped using our phones and started being used by them.

A notification goes off…

We respond.

Someone posts something…

We check it.

Someone sends a message…

We stop whatever we’re doing.

The phone rings…

We immediately reach for it.

And the person sitting right in front of us?

They wait.

Our spouse waits.

Our children wait.

Our friends wait.

Sometimes even God waits.

And we wonder why our relationships feel disconnected.

Maybe it isn’t because we don’t love people.

Maybe it’s because we’re physically present…

but emotionally somewhere else.

Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” — Matthew 6:21

So where is our heart?

Because sometimes you can tell where someone’s heart is by where their eyes are.

And if our eyes are constantly staring at a screen…

Maybe we should ask ourselves what has captured our attention.

I’m not saying phones are evil.

I’m not saying technology is evil.

I’m not saying social media is evil.

I’m saying anything that can control us needs to be surrendered to Jesus.

The Bible says, “I will not be mastered by anything.” — 1 Corinthians 6:12

Not anything.

That means our phones don’t get to master us.

Notifications don’t get to master us.

Algorithms don’t get to master us.

Social media doesn’t get to master us.

Jesus is supposed to be our Master.

So maybe we need to start parenting our phones.

Maybe we need to teach ourselves that dinner is more important than notifications.

That a conversation is more important than a comment.

That our children’s eyes deserve to meet our eyes.

That our spouse deserves our full attention.

That sitting with someone who is hurting is more important than scrolling past another post.

That prayer deserves more attention than Facebook.

That God’s Word deserves more attention than our newsfeed.

And maybe we need to remember something incredibly simple:

Life is happening on the other side of the screen.

Your children are growing up.

Your marriage needs you.

Your friend may be hurting.

Someone around you may desperately need someone to listen.

And you may be missing it…

because you’re looking down.

So today, I’m asking myself the same question I’m asking you:

Who is parenting whom?

Do I control my phone…

or does my phone control me?

Could I put it down for an hour without feeling anxious?

Could I sit at lunch or dinner without checking it?

Could I spend time with God without reaching for it?

Could I have a conversation without looking at it?

Could I go somewhere without needing to document it?

Could I be completely present…

without a screen between me and the people I love?

Because maybe the issue isn’t our phones.

Maybe the issue is what we’ve allowed our phones to become.

So here’s my challenge:

Put it down.

Not forever.

Just long enough to look up.

Look at your spouse.

Look at your kids.

Look at your friend.

Look around your dinner table.

Look at the person sitting alone.

Look at the world God actually gave you.

And then…

look up toward Heaven.

Because there is a God who has been trying to get our attention long before our phones ever existed.

And maybe today He isn’t asking you to download another Bible app.

Maybe He’s simply whispering:

“Put the phone down, My child.
I’m right here.”

So before we tell the younger generation to get off their phones…

look at your own screen.

Before you complain about their screen time…

look at your own.

Before you tell them they are addicted…

ask yourself if you are.

And before you scroll to the next post…

stop.

Look at your phone.

Now ask yourself one brutally honest question:

“If I gave God the same attention I give this phone, how different would my life be?”

Let that question sit with you.

Don’t scroll.

Don’t defend yourself.

Don’t make excuses.

Just sit with it.

Maybe it’s time we stopped parenting everyone else’s phones…

and started parenting our own. ~OC

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Being Present and Being Engaged: There Is a Difference

Today’s a new day!

Sometimes the loneliest place in the world is sitting beside someone who is physically there—but emotionally somewhere else.

Read that again.

Because there is a difference between being present and being engaged.

And honestly, I think a lot of us—including me—need to take a hard look at which one we are.

You can sit beside someone for hours and never really be with them.

You can eat dinner with your family while staring at your phone.

You can sit in church every Sunday and never truly encounter God.

You can listen to someone tell you they’re hurting while you’re already thinking about what you’re going to say next.

You can hug someone and say, “I’m here for you,” and yet never actually show up when life gets ugly.

Being present means your body showed up.

Being engaged means your heart did too.

And there’s a world of difference between the two.

Think about Jesus.

He didn’t just walk past hurting people.

He stopped.

He saw the blind man everyone else ignored.

He noticed Zacchaeus when everyone else saw a sinner.

He stopped for the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years.

He touched lepers.

He sat with sinners.

He wept with those who were grieving.

He listened.

He noticed.

He cared.

Jesus didn’t simply share people’s space.

He entered their pain.

That’s engagement.

And maybe that’s what we’ve lost somewhere along the way.

We’re connected to everyone, yet sometimes we’re truly connected to no one.

We have hundreds of friends online but don’t know who is crying behind the smile sitting across from us.

We react to someone’s Facebook post with a heart but never send the message that says, “Are you really okay?”

We say, “Praying for you,” but sometimes never actually pray.

We say, “Let me know if you need anything,” knowing deep down that we’re hoping they never call.

And here’s the painful truth:

Some people don’t need another person telling them everything is going to be okay.

They need someone willing to sit beside them while everything isn’t okay.

They don’t need you to fix them.

They need you to listen.

They need you to stay.

They need you to care when their story gets uncomfortable.

They need you to love them when they aren’t easy to love.

They need you to put the phone down, look them in the eyes, and say:

“Tell me what’s really going on.”

And then stay quiet long enough to actually hear the answer.

Because sometimes the most powerful ministry isn’t a sermon.

It’s a conversation.

It’s a cup of coffee.

It’s a hand held during a difficult moment.

It’s sitting beside a hospital bed.

It’s answering the phone at 2 a.m.

It’s showing up when everyone else has disappeared.

It’s remembering someone’s name.

It’s noticing the person who always says, “I’m fine,” and loving them enough to know they’re not.

That’s what Jesus did.

He noticed people.

And maybe we should too.

So today, I want to challenge all of us—including myself.

Look around.

Really look.

Who in your life needs more than your presence?

Who needs your attention?

Who needs your time?

Who needs your listening ear?

Who is smiling on the outside while quietly falling apart on the inside?

Who have you been physically present with but emotionally absent from?

And perhaps most importantly…

Are you merely present with God, or are you engaged with Him?

Are you just attending church?

Or are you seeking Him?

Are you just reading Scripture?

Or are you allowing Scripture to change you?

Are you just saying prayers?

Or are you actually talking with your Father?

Because God doesn’t want a relationship where we simply check in.

He wants our hearts.

Life moves far too quickly.

One day, the person sitting beside you won’t be there anymore.

One day, the phone call you keep putting off won’t be possible.

One day, the chair across the table may be empty.

One day, you’ll wish you had listened longer.

Loved harder.

Forgiven sooner.

Put the phone down.

Stayed a little longer.

Don’t wait until someone’s funeral to realize you should have spent more time with them while they were alive.

Don’t wait until they’re gone to tell them what they meant to you.

Don’t wait until the opportunity disappears.

Be there now.

Not just physically.

Emotionally.

Spiritually.

Completely.

Because people may forget what you said.

They may forget what you did.

But they will never forget how you made them feel when they were hurting.

So take time to know the difference.

Being present says, “I’m here.”

Being engaged says, “You matter to me.”

And maybe the greatest way we can love people like Jesus loved us…

isn’t simply by showing up.

It’s by staying.

It’s by listening.

It’s by caring.

It’s by entering the mess.

It’s by refusing to walk away.

Because someday, when this life is over and we stand before our Savior, I don’t think we’re going to wish we had spent more time scrolling.

More time arguing.

More time worrying about things that didn’t matter.

More time trying to impress people who weren’t paying attention anyway.

I think we’ll wish we had loved more.

Listened more.

Forgiven more.

Prayed more.

And been there more.

So today…

Put the phone down.

Look up.

Look around.

Look into someone’s eyes.

Ask them how they’re really doing.

And when they finally tell you…

don’t rush away.

Stay.

Because sometimes your willingness to stay may be the very thing God uses to remind a broken heart:

“You are not alone.”

And perhaps that’s what being the hands and feet of Jesus really looks like.

**Not just being present…

but being fully, completely, sacrificially ENGAGED.

Be present. Be engaged. Love like Jesus.

Someone may be silently begging for someone to notice them today.

Please don’t be too busy to see them. ~OC

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