Tag: Social Media

I Asked…

Today’s a new day! As I have posted some videos about my current trip to Plains, GA for President Jimmy Carter’s 100th Birthday Celebration, several people have reached out and shared they wished they would have known I was coming because they would have loved to make the trip with me. I was like what?

I just checked my past text and social media post and back at the first of August, I sent out text, messages and social media posts inviting people to join me on this trip. I knew back then before my dementia diagnosis, that traveling by myself was not a good idea. And Laura’s busy work schedule did not allow for her to make the trip with me. I also had numerous conversations with friends on the phone and in person about this trip. Several shared they were interested, but never followed through. Only one friend stepped up and shared he would go. I am thankful he did.

So while I am sorry many are missing out on this amazing trip, it’s not because you were not asked. It’s because you chose not to respond. I am not mad at you, but do not act like you were not invited.~OC

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Dear Hate,

Today’s a new day!

Dear Hate, I trust this letter finds you well. Actually, from what I see on tv and social media, it looks like business is booming for you lately. I have to give you credit, you have managed to keep yourself in the news and social media 24/7 these days and that’s not an easy feat. You are like a chameleon. You continue to reinvent yourself. Sadly, your brand is a whole lot stronger than most people realize. Somehow you have been able to leverage all that fear out there into a pretty impressive machine.

But, thankfully we have the answer to overcome all hate. A beautiful four-letter word called Love. Oh yes, Love. That’s your kryptonite.

Love is the beautiful response to all the hate we see in the world. Love can rebuild everything that hate tries to destroy.

Love is a redemptive song that people keep finding a way to sing together no matter how difficult the days become. Sure, maybe we have had a rough stretch lately, but we’ve been through this all a million times before and Love has always been able to defeat hate.

And I believe Love- will answer now too.

Let’s face it, deep down we all know how this is going to play out, don’t we? Hate will grab the headlines and make a dramatic statement and chaos will briefly come, and you’ll feel and seem like you’re winning. Hate will get a bit of traction and celebrate for a moment, but it will not be long until Love rises up and slowly drives back all the destruction that you have managed to raise.

Like yeast in the dough, Love will quietly and silently do the healing work. From person to person, heart to heart, breath by breath. Love will dance!

Hate, you probably have noticed that Love doesn’t resort to all the theatrics you’re known for. Because the truth is, Love and goodness is humanity’s default setting and when people stop to breathe, when they step away from all the hate, when they draw nearer to one another and recognize the goodness in the other’s eyes—then hate you’re defeated.

I believe people will always return to compassion and mercy because those are the most powerful forces on earth. And when they do, they find Love there waiting. They’ll embrace Love and Love will embrace them.

Yes, hate may occasionally corrupt the system, but Love is the system. Love is the truth that people know without knowing they know it. Love is a deep sacred place that the human heart will always seek at its level. When hurting, grieving, weary souls search for rest, Love is where and when people finally find themselves at home.

So hate, you can have your eye for any eye, and Love will keep making peace.
Hate, you can demand revenge and Love will keep forgiving.
Hate, you can spew venom and Love will turn its cheek.
Hate, can strike with a closed fist, and Love will stretch out its open hand.
Hate, you can gloat and brag and feel quite pleased with yourself for the momentary chaos you’ve manufactured—and Love will press firmly into that which endures and defeats it.

Hate, you are a powerful and resilient, force, but you’ll never overcome Love.

Hate, no matter what unspeakable damage you do, Love will bring even greater healing.

Love will always have the last word.

Hate, look around you. Look beneath the headlines and the noise. Look deeply into the eyes of those who get Love and see how much they’re willing to do.

Love will not be denied.

Hate, you cannot win this one, my bitter friend, no matter what you, the news, social media or the fear mongers say.

This place belongs to Love. ~OC

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Lived-Out Gospel

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out my faith journey, I am often asked what does the gospel look like when it’s actually lived out? I believe God gives us many characteristics of the Spirit-filled life. Here are three that stand out to me.

We cannot truly live out the gospel if there is no love. Love must come first. Jesus Himself said the first commandment is to love God, then others. He even said we are to love as He loved, which was to lay down his life.

Are we to literally lay down our lives for others? Some may be asked to make that sacrifice one day. But most of us share love by giving of our time, our talents or our finances. Sometimes love is just being there. During my many hospital stays, I have some friends who just come and sit with me. That’s love. Other times we love by listening, encouraging and praying for others. Sometimes we give the shirts off our backs, or buy a meal or provide shelter to a hurting world. Lived-out love is a powerful witness.

A second witness is grace. Grace is often an unclear or vague concept for some, so here are a few synonyms to help everyone grasp the powerful meaning of this essential truth: mercy, forgiveness, benevolence, charity, clemency, compassion, favor, forbearance, generosity, goodwill, goodness, kindness, leniency, pardon, reprieve, responsiveness, tenderness.

Grace never holds a grudge, or refuse to forgive. Grace does overlook an offense, speaks kindly when verbally attacked and believe the best about people. Lived-out grace is a powerful witness.

A third evidence of truly walking out our faith is by living an authentic life. How many times have you heard someone say something about “hypocrites in the church”? Authenticity means we speak truth no matter the cost. We actually live out what we say as much as possible; we wear no masks. We consider the impact our words and actions have on those watching or reading what we say. We are even willing to be vulnerable. Wow!

Those are risky actions. We could be misunderstood, disapproved of, even shunned or taken advantage of. But we wouldn’t be hypocrites. We would be true, real … authentic. Lived -out authenticity is a powerful witness.

May we live out the gospel with love, grace and authenticity so that people will actually see Jesus in us. ~OC

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Soundtrack of My Life

Today’s a new day! I thought I would have a little fun with this post. How would my crazy beautiful journey sound if it was set to music?

As I open my eyes on this Beautiful Day, I Rise Up and thank God he always Stands By Me and I Raise a Hallelujah. With Every Little Step, I am Livin’ On a Prayer because these days my body Rattles. Some mornings I think about the Glory Days and remember my body was Born to Run, but today I Dream On because I have learned to Stand Tall and I choose to live life as a Overcomer. As I make my way around My House, I remember It Is Well With My Soul. As I think about Breakfast, I wish I was Hungry Like a Wolf. As I turn on the news, all I hear is Rumour Has It, and all this negativity is Killing Me Softly. Man, you gotta to Pray just to make it today. We all need to Come Together on this Yellow Brick Road and stop all this Jive Talkin’. All this Poison makes me get down on a Bended Knee and live with Gratitude at the Mention of Your Name. I stop and take a look at the Man In The Mirror and I think How Can We Mend A Broken Heart? But I will choose to live Like a Rock because that’s My Prerogative. Some days I just enjoy Rainy Days and Mondays. But Ain’t Nobody going to steal my Joy and I am going to Shake It Up and embrace the Good Times. I will continue to live in Amazing Grace. I wanna live With Arms Wide Open. I am a little Older, but thankfully I am Still Standing and feel Forever Young.

So today, be careful of Careless Whispers and Don’t Let The Sun Go Down without showing some Forgiveness. Today Relax, Because He Lives and took care of everything on The Old Rugged Cross. ~OC

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Love Our Neighbors…No Exceptions

Today’s a new day! In the age of social media and partisan cable news, one of the most common questions I get as a Christian is how do I stay in relationship with the family member or friend who believes differently than I do? It can be difficult when we are all firing off text and social media post without giving it any thought or even taking a breath. Things can get nasty and personal real quick.

I recommend that each of us get in the habit of never posting a quick reply to another person’s post or text we disagree with. This can be difficult. We so desperately want to share our opinions. If something someone has posted or shared really bothers you, take a day to think about it and then message them. Maybe you need to type something out to get your feelings on screen.  If you’re like me, once you get your feelings out, you realize there is no real need to push send.

Sometimes you may need to adjust the settings on your email or social media to “mute” a certain person’s messages. They don’t have to know you aren’t reading the stuff they are sharing and forwarding to you.  You can spare yourself and them the awkward discussion of why you “unfriended” them.

Other times you may have to take the hard step of “un-friending” someone or maybe just letting that person know you need to communicate with them in other ways besides social media, text or email, because you can’t keep your emotions in check. I’ve had to make this move with some close friends, because what they share or post provokes a reaction in me I don’t like.  I’m pretty sure the stuff I share and post has caused that same kind of reaction in them. I’m definitely sure that what either of has posted has never changed their mind or mine.

Finally, there are those people who share such negative and personal things that it may amount to emotional abuse. In such cases, setting firm boundaries is necessary for your own well-being and health. Loving your neighbor can only happen from a safe distance with some people.

Remember the biggest companies with the smartest minds are working non-stop to keep us glued to our phone, tablet and computer. They make money and lots of it, the longer we keep using their app or watching their channel. The easiest way to keep us making money for them is to keep us outraged. There are genuine things to be outraged about in the world, but few of them are ever changed by a shared social media post, a forwarded email or text.

Sadly, our culture does not reward maintaining relationships with people different from ourselves. It rewards outrage and remaining in your own bubble. Yet, if we are really going to “Love our neighbor. No exceptions.” it has to cut both ways.

Nobody ever said this Christian life would be easy. ~OC

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Old Friends

Today’s a new day! I woke up this morning, walked out on our balcony that overlooks my old high school (Twin Lakes High School / Palm Beach High School). It made me think a minute about some old friends.

Back in the day, I missed my friends on Summer Break. I loved a break from school. Loved getting to visit out of town family and playing sports all day. But a few weeks into the break, I would start missing my friends from school that did not live close by. Kinda felt like I wasn’t my whole self without them. No cell phones or social media back in the day. So between school and after school activities we would basically go from spending all day every day together to zero contact over the summer. Ouch. What was I gonna do call my friends on the phone that was attached to the wall several times a day and check in? Yes! That’s what a lot of us did back in the day. We made the effort to stay in touch. I fondly remember talking to some friends for hours on the phone.

As I reflect back on my high school years, I couldn’t wait for school to start back to see all of my friends. Yes, I was that person. Life was always better with friends around. I am thankful that God created me to be a person who really wants to connect with others. I can do the surface conversations, but I truly love having meaningful conversations. Always have. Of course being a teenage guy, that was not the norm. That’s probably why I have always had more female friends than guy friends. As I recall, there was not a lot of meaningful conversations with a lot of my guy friends back then. No real sentiments would be shared. I do not think we hugged back then. We would just be together, probably swap stories and just catch up. I am thankful for the few guys that were willing to open up and be real.

I look at my friends as family. I am blessed to still have friends from elementary school. I hope I have never taken my friendships for granted. But sadly, I probably have. For that I apologize. True friends are a beautiful gift. Especially when you’re young. Part of who we are today is because of the friends we had back in our younger days. Of course that could be a little scary. Haha!

As I continue walking through this crazy beautiful health journey, friendships mean a lot more to me these days. Every day is becoming more of a struggle for me at this time, but my days are brightened when I hear from a friend or a friend drops by. Especially when a childhood friend connects with me.

We were all created for relationships. Especially friendships. I believe in the old saying, you cannot pick your family, but thankfully you can choose your friends. My life has been blessed with amazing friendships. I am thankful for those friends who have chosen to walk with me through life. Especially those friends who have stayed by my side during this crazy beautiful health journey. You will never realize the difference you have made in my life. Thank you!

So today, take time to remember the beautiful friendships you have experienced over the years. Never take one for granted. Take time today, to reach out to a friend. You may just brighten their day. ~OC

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Let Go To Grow

Several people have inquired about Todd taking an indefinite break from social media and sharing his daily thoughts. He wanted to share a few thoughts about his decision to take some time away from the world of social media.

Today’s a new day! When I hear God speak to my heart, I have learned that it serves me well to listen.

So a few weeks ago, I heard God share that it was time to take a break from social media. Then I started questioning the role of social media in my life, comparing and contrasting the pros and cons of it. I have taken breaks before so I thought about those times, too. Then it pretty much dawned on me as the following words were impressed upon me in a real way:

I was not created to spend so much time on social media. These platforms should not take away from time reading, journaling, praying and most importantly spending quality face to face time with real people.

There are some beautiful benefits about social media. They allow us to interact with old friends and meet some amazing people from all over the world. To stay in touch with loved ones. To read and hear about their life experiences. To pray for people. All amazing things. The problem is that social media always demanded more than I truly wanted to give.

The different social media platforms offer us endless opportunities to share our everyday lives, to pose questions, share world events, our opinions and photos of our favorite foods. There is always something to post or respond to. For me, it never stopped. If I missed a day of posting, I would have multiple people reaching out to me asking why I did not post. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a lot of pressure.

The good and bad thing with social media for me personally, is that I really tried to use my accounts to encourage and love on people. I could probably sit around all day long and just be corresponding with people. People feel comfortable sharing their life journey with me. So many people feel like they’re stuck or they’re hopeless. So they would reach out to me. I found myself pouring so much of myself out into so many people. Not complaining because it’s always my honor to connect with people willing to share their amazing life experiences with me. But a few weeks ago, I realized if I truly wanted to help and serve people, I needed to make sure that I was taking care of myself. Which was not always the case.

So, I have officially been off social media and not sharing daily thoughts for about a week. I have used that time to focus more on the truly important things in my life. I have enjoyed a quieter and less hectic week. Being off social media has given me the beautiful gift of rest and peace.

Will I return to social media at some point? I am not really sure. As I have taken a break from social media, God has given me this simple phrase “Let Go to Grow.” ~OC

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Racism In America

The following was written based on the white guy from Arizona who traveled to Atlanta in May to start a race war in America. The story broke my heart. I wanted to take some time before commenting on this horrible incident. So here I go.

Anyone who believes racism is no longer an issue in America is lying to themselves. Some might say this is an isolated incident, but it’s not. This story just made the news. But every day, there is a good chance a person of color will face some type of racism. That’s not a made up statistic, a political statement, it’s a fact. As a nation, we can no longer keep our heads in the sand and hope racism away. We need to have constructive dialogue on the issue of racism in America. There can be no American Dream if we refuse to acknowledge and discuss this issue. We cannot experience unity if we refuse to have real conversations about racism. We cannot honestly say the United States of America, if we do not discuss the issue of division caused by racism in America. This is a conversation where everyone needs to be sitting at the table. Only by having real, raw and constructive conversations can we even begin to think about a country and world without racism. I hope you will take your seat at the table. I will be waiting. ~OC

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True Identity

Today’s a new day! What are you attaching to your life? As I talk with people or scroll through their social media pages, I see so many people associating negative thoughts to their story. Too many people allowing negative thoughts to run through their head, telling them they’re not good enough or they do not measure up. After a while people begin to internalize these negative thoughts and allow them to become their identity.

My hope and prayer is that instead of believing the lies of not being good enough or measuring up, people would be reminded how amazing, unique and loved by God they are. That they are a masterpiece in His eyes. That’s your true identity. ~OC

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Chronic Illness and Friendships

Today’s a new day! This is an open letter about dealing with chronic illness and friendships. I apologize for the lengthiness of this post.

Dear Friends, I want to start off by saying, I have a few friends who have stuck by me every step of this health journey. We might not see or talk to each other every day, but we communicate often. I am thankful for each of them. The reason for this open letter is to share how chronic illness can affect a life. A friendship.

I am not angry with the friends who have walked away. I understand you never intended to hurt me. There was no malicious intent. But what unfolded was a by-product of the thoughtless-ness that is pervasive in our society.

As I walk through my crazy beautiful health journey, I have tried my best to stay in touch with friends. Either through visiting, social media, phone calls or text. Some have responded and some have not. A few believe I abandoned them, but I always tell them to check their phones. I will not own abandoning a friend if they do not respond to my phone calls or texts.

After I became very ill, the friendships I had built disappeared in stages. There was the initial drop-off. Hearing from them less and less. Then there were the ones I just never heard from again. Some were just friends on the outer edge, but a few had been close enough to have become like family.

The fact that some disappeared immediately actually made their absence less noticeable because, when I first became ill, I believed without a shadow of a doubt, I would be better soon, and our friendship would return. Sadly, time went on, and our friendship never returned. I had no cause to miss them at the beginning, and, by the time it became clear my illness was not short-term, their absence had become the norm. Chronic illness and friendships were seemingly not compatible.

There have been times I reach out to friends and while they answer, they make no real effort to continue the conversation. I try to keep the conversation going but eventually stop reaching out. Time is precious and I do not have time to waste.

On the occasions when friends do reach out and want to visit, I get excited only to be disappointed when they disappear for months or years. It’s as if they did their duty and reached out to me. They can check it off their list. Those friends circle around again when the guilt hits.

I remember when I experienced a miracle in my 18th year of being ill. Friends and strangers came from everywhere. They all wanted to be around the “Miracle Man.” To hear and use my story. And when my health took a turn for the worse again, most of them disappeared. I was no longer the flavor of the month.

Now into the twenty-first year of my health battle, my circle of friends as become very small. I am thankful for each of them. These days, I am very careful who I allow into my circle. Too many people with their own agendas have caused great pain.

Long-term health issues and friendships can be a difficult balancing act. In the beginning of a health crisis, there are many friends who walk along side the patient. But as the illness lingers, more and more friends drop off. Maybe it’s too overwhelming for them. Maybe it brings back hard memories. I am not sure why friends leave. Please believe me I am not criticizing them. I am sharing this letter to acknowledge we as a society have to do more to support our chronically ill and disabled populations. Not just the patients, but the caregivers too. That’s a whole different letter.

None of the friends who have walked away are bad people. They’re just regular broken people like all of us. But as a person living with long-term health issues, I sometimes wonder if there is something deficient in me that led those friends to leave. Those feelings are just part of the journey.

If you have a friend that is currently dealing with a chronic illness, please take the time to reach out to them. Doing this on a regular basis has a healing effect. In our technology -filled world, this is easy to do. Texting, email, and social media make it easy to stay in touch with people. Set a reminder on your phone to connect with that friend.

I know it can be hard to see a friend or loved dealing with a long-term health issue. Believe me, I have trouble seeing myself this way. But try to acknowledge their differences and limitations while still seeing them through the lens of the friendship you cultivated over the years. A small act of kindness goes a long way. Inviting that sick friend to events, even if you know they’re unable to attend will make them feel as though they haven’t been forgotten.

For those dealing with long-term health issues, please know it’s not your fault nor those around you. It’s not a lack of faith. Chronic illness and friendships aren’t the most comfortable of bedfellows. Could your friends have done better? Maybe. Did they do it intentionally? Probably not. I only believe in blaming people when they act on purpose. When people make a mistake, we shouldn’t punish them. Instead, we should ask them to become more conscious, understanding, and thoughtful. To teach society to act better next time, as I believe we can.

Does this empathy towards the people who unintentionally let me down make me feel better? In some ways, yes, and in others, no. It has allowed me to find clarity about the reality I find myself in. It has stopped me from wasting energy on useless and illogical emotions. It has left an emotional wound. It has left me exhausted.

Throughout this crazy beautiful health journey, I am thankful for my relationship with God. My faith has sustained me during this difficult and long battle. I praise Jesus for never leaving nor forsaking me. For being a real friend. I take comfort in the friendships I have left. I am thankful for the new friendships I will hopefully make along this journey. I am truly living a blessed life. ~OC

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