Standing Beside You

Today’s a new day! True friendship and good character is all about how a person nurtures another person when they are vulnerable and can give very little in return.  Thus, it’s not who’s standing beside you during good times, but the ones who stick by you through tough times that are your true friends.

So take note of who remains in your life when times get tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources they have in their life to help you improve yours when you need it most.  Seriously, when you come out the other side of a difficult period in your life, look around you. The people still standing beside you are your true friends. ~OC

Grateful

Today’s a new day! I’m grateful this morning for another day to breathe, to think and make more memories with my bride, friends and family.

I’m grateful for my cup of ice tea and a cool breeze on our balcony.

I am grateful for the anticipation of this new day.

I am grateful to be living in peace.

I’m grateful to still be alive, now, in this place and at this time.  I’m ever-thankful for the extra time God has given me.

I am grateful for the freedom to write in my hometown and to write whatever, however, whenever I please.

I am grateful for the amazing people God has brought my way on this crazy beautiful health journey. Thankful to have met so many creative and loving people over the past twenty-two years.

I am grateful for the friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.

I am thankful that my gratitude stretches around the world with all the people who have walked this journey with me through this blog and my other social media pages.

I am grateful to live in love, hope and peace and cherish this day that the Lord has given me. ~OC

Thankfulness While Grieving

Today’s a new day! Today is also Thanksgiving Day. I have many things to be thankful for, but I am also grieving the death of a loved one. This has been a hard week.

It can be difficult to be thankful when you’re in a season of grieving. When you experience the loss of a loved one you begin to wonder if you will ever feel happy again. It is hard to be thankful when you are hurting. The Bible is not silent on the issue of suffering. The Bible is full of scriptures and stories about suffering.

Giving thanks to God during times of grief is difficult, but not impossible. In fact, it is one of the best ways of progressing towards hope while you are grieving. How can you be thankful during times of grief? I believe Remembering , Reflecting , and Rejoicing can guide us through a season of loss and grief.

First, take time to remember. Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. Do not doubt in the darkness what you have clearly seen in the light. One of the results of the grieving process is that our minds become absorbed with that one thing. It is so important that you force yourself to remember key foundational truths about God. Remember that He loves you. Remember that He is in control. Remember that He is always working good; even in the bad circumstances. While grieving, you may not want to hear someone quote Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” But, remember that it is true. 

Second, take time to reflect. Reflect on your current situation, but do not dwell on it. What’s the difference between reflecting and dwelling? Think of it like a house. When you dwell in a house you live in it. Dwelling on the cause of your grief is like going back to the situation and living there as you relive it over and over. When you reflect, you think deeply and carefully about something. Going back to the house illustration, rather than dwelling in the house, you sit outside the house and look in. Reflecting is different because it gives you time to grieve and realize that your life has changed and there will be a new reality moving forward.

Remember, there is no set timeframe for you to stop grieving. Please hear that. Grief has no timeline. In one sense, you will never stop grieving until you are given your new body and dwelling with God in Heaven. The purpose in grieving well is not to stop grieving, but to begin grieving with hope.

When we are grieving we are overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions are powerful and have great control over us, so we are told in the Bible to take control of them. We do this by guarding our heart. Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” The heart is the essence of who we are. It is more than just emotions. It is the command center of your life. It directs our emotions.

Through grief and mourning we must remember to guard our hearts.

Third, take time to rejoice. In the middle of your mourning, allow your heart and mind to remember some of the beautiful moments and memories. That can be difficult in the midst of a loss or a difficult season in life. But the fact that God has brought us this new day means that we can rejoice and be glad in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. This verse does not teach us that every circumstance is good, but that God is good. This is not always easy, but we must continue to lean into this truth.

So today take some time to Remember, Reflect, Rejoice

*Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. 

*Reflect and give yourself time to grieve. Guard your heart so that you do not believe lies but trust God.

*Rejoice in the Lord who is powerfully and purposefully at work.

If you are grieving, trust God. Consider the story of Martha from John 11. Martha had just lost her brother and was grieving. When she saw Jesus she said to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). Martha then said something very profound. Martha said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You” (John 11:22). Martha serves as an example of a godly person hurting yet trusting. So today, allow God to help you give thanks in all circumstances on this Thanksgiving Day. ~OC

Choose Joy

Today’s a new day! I have learned through the storms of life that joy and happiness are things we have to become intentional about. It’s about the decisions we make moment by moment.

So many people allow everyday joy to escape them because they are focused on what they don’t like, what their lacking, and what is broken. Easy to do. We can allow our circumstances and comparing ourselves to others to rob of us of happiness and joy. What I have learned through my own life storms is when I want to have a pity party, is that the best use of my time. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I have chosen to find the things that I am grateful for as I navigate through the crashing waves.

One of the most positive things I have ever done in my life is to journal and share my story. What has been so interesting and encouraging is hearing the feedback back from those walking through their own battles. As I have heard the inspiring stories of others, I have been filled with gratitude. My circumstances may have not changed, but I did. I chose a new way of looking at life.

I have had the privilege of praying with people during the worst moments of their lives. But instead of being caught up in the negativity of the moment, they were filled with joy. How can that be? I honestly believe that joy is less circumstantial and more an inward reality that is fueled from a heart of faith and gratitude. People that choose to live with more hope and joy view life differently. Peace, Hope and Joy become a lifestyle. They embrace and savor every moment of life.

In these challenging times when there is so much negative news swirling around us, it’s so important for us to take care of ourselves and those around us. We need to laugh, have fun, take a trip and embrace some joy breaks along this journey called life. I encourage everyone to find joy by making time for it and becoming intentional about it. Choose joy and choose it every day. ~OC

Forgiveness

In Matthew 6:9-15 we read the following words:

Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is just one of many lessons Jesus taught us about unforgiveness. He shared on numerous occasions about not allowing unforgiveness to reside in our hearts. God shared those who refuse to forgive others will not be forgiven by the Father. Be careful not to misunderstand Jesus’ meaning here. We do not lose our salvation when we refuse to forgive others. Rather, we break fellowship with God because an unrepentant attitude interferes with regular confession and turning away from sin.

Forgiveness is an act of the will more than an act of the heart. We do not often feel like showing mercy or forgiveness to someone who’s wronged us, but but that’s exactly what we’re called to do (Matthew 5:38-40). A resentful spirit grows into a terrible burden. God knows that forgiveness is best, even when it is difficult. Claim the divine mercy He offers, and ask Him to enable you to lay aside your frustrations, anger and resentment. As part of the decision to move forward in grace, make a habit of praying for those who hurt you. And if God so leads, seek their forgiveness for your wrong attitude or actions.

A bitter spirit doesn’t fit who we are in our relationship with God. That’s why there are so many scriptures about forgiveness. We have to choose to be liberated from our burdens and unforgiveness. Did you catch that? We have to make the choice. God promised to make us free when we choose to believe and obey Him (John 8:31-32). Freedom from our burdens sounds pretty good to me. ~OC

Friendships……

Today’s a new day! A true friend who stands with you during the tough seasons, is far more valuable than a hundred friends who only show up for your smiles and high moments in life.  Because a true friend accepts who you truly are, and also helps you become who you are capable of being.

True friendship requires more than just finding the right person, they also require you to be the right person.  When someone believes in you enough to lift you up, try not to let them down.  True friendship is a precious gift to be nurtured, not a relationship to be taken for granted. ~OC

Shine God Shine

Today’s a new day!

Dear God, as we walk through this journey called life, let your light shine through us. Destroy all the darkness and negativity around us. Dear God, let the warmth of your light, the brightness of your love, the sweetness of your joy, the beauty of your hope shine through us. Dear God, let your light be our guide through the storms of life. Let your light brighten our path. Dear God, let your light shine through us everyday. Shine God Shine! ~OC

Not About Me

Today’s a new day! This crazy beautiful health journey is not about me. It’s not to show you how strong I am, for my strength comes from God. It’s not to show you how great my faith is, for my faith is a gift from God. And it’s not to show you how courageous I am, for my courage comes from God… exactly at the time I need it. Anything you see in me that is good is not of my doing… it’s from Heaven. ~OC

Convenient Friendships

Today’s a new day! I really wish someone would’ve told me my circle of friends would dramatically shrink as my health began to decline. All of the sudden hanging out or staying in touch with me has became optional for most of my “friends.” Walking through this health journey is tough enough, without friends jumping ship and forgetting my number. Thankfully, I have a very small number of friends who do not treat me like an inconvenience. Thankful for their encouragement and true friendship. Also thankful God continues to walk out this journey right by my side.

I did not write the above for sympathy, but to bring to light how important friendships are to those with long term health issues. A phone call or visit can make a really tough day a little easier. But when those promised calls or visits do not happen, that can have such a negative impact on a person. So if you have a loved one who is walking through a season of health issues, do not forget about them. I can guarantee you they have not forgotten about you. Blessings. ~OC

Dear…,

Today’s a new day!

Dear……,

I want you to know, first and foremost, how special you are. Those are not words to make you feel better. Whether you realize it or not, your life matters.

I want you to know how you light up the world with your smile when you show it off. So please, show it off more. You use more of your face muscles when you smile, so stretch it out so wide that it hurts and remember when you grow old and see wrinkles around your mouth that you got them from smiling.

I know people are trying to reach out to you to tell you that everything is going to be alright and that they’re there for you. Please – and I cannot stress this enough – do not push them away or shut them out. You may not want to hear it, but those family members, friends, and coworkers are there for you and would do anything to help.

So, give them a chance even when you don’t think they’ll understand your pain. You’ll never know if you do not let them in. You’re feeling alone right now. So alone that you don’t think anyone can see all the pain you’re going through.

I want you to know I see you, okay? I can see the pain written all over your face because I know the look of someone trying so hard to pretend like they’re alright when they’re crumbling on the inside. You’re not alone, you have people in your life, and even people you didn’t see coming, who are more than willing to reach out and be there for you.

I know you feel like you cannot get through this current storm. I know it seems like your world is crumbling all around and you cannot find the strength to get back up. Your days are spent isolated in your house, and you cannot eat, sleep or find the strength to move from the comfort and safety of your bed. You have lost the ambition to go outside and breathe in the fresh air. Can I share a little truth with you? I have been where you’re at. I did a pretty good job hiding it, so most people even those closest to me didn’t even notice it. Some days I was barely holding on.

So, I encourage you to hang in there. You’re important to this world and have so much talent and so many amazing ideas to give. You have a light inside you that lights up the world. So keep holding on.

Please, continue to take one day at a time. Keep leaning into the loving arms and promises of God. It’s so easy to want all the answers right this moment, but this life is not a 30 minute tv show. I would love to give you a quick fix, but that could possibly rob you of some amazing lessons God is trying to teach you in this moment. But I can promise you this. We will get through this together. Keep holding on. ~OC

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑