Men and Mental Health

Today, I am writing about a tough subject but one I believe is very important. As many of you know, my current health issues make it very difficult to share or write down my thoughts. I have actually been working on this piece for several months. I know it’s rather long, but I hope you will take the time to read it. Also, even though my health issues are of a physical nature, this health journey has been filled with moments of sadness and feeling a bit lost.

Today’s a new day! June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. I speak with so many men who feel the need to take care of everyone else, but tend to ignore the issues going on in their own lives. So men, today I want to share a little about taking care of yourself.

We have all heard the age-old saying, “Real men don’t cry.” As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey, I have tried very hard to take a stand against this toxic perspective because real men indeed cry, laugh, hurt, and heal. It’s about time that we stop being afraid to talk about men’s mental health, the different struggles we deal with and start speaking some truth. It’s time to get real.

So, why is it that men’s mental health is still stuck back in the 1950’s in so many ways?

In a world that often misunderstands and judges men for showing some emotions and having real conversations, it can be frightening to bare our souls, not for sympathy or attention, but for connection and understanding. I am often asked why I have chosen to be so open and transparent about my health battle? Well, simply– it is therapeutic for me, and I hope it offers a beacon of hope and understanding to someone out there, walking through their own struggles.

From a young age, the world dictates a playbook on “How to Be a Man,’ essentially promoting a culture where men feel the need to wear a mask, suppressing their true feelings and emotions.

But I believe it’s time to ditch that old playbook and rewrite a new one. A playbook that is open to real conversations. A playbook that encourages men to reach out to other men and discuss the tough issues that we have been taught to suppress. It’s time for real talk. It’s alright to feel, to break down, and to reach out.

I believe many men are concerned about being judged for sharing their feelings and being real. Sharing my experiences and being vulnerable hasn’t always been a walk in the park. In fact, at times it’s like walking a tightrope balancing between being open and the fear of being misunderstood or judged.

But, we must get past the fear of being judged so we can experience true healing. As I have shared my own story, not only have I experienced healing but have seen the power of healing touch other lives around me.

Yes, men’s mental health is indeed a real thing and let us not turn a deaf ear to this issue, but lend a listening one, a shoulder to lean on, and an encouraging word to someone walking through a tough season.

So, how do we rewrite the playbook on men’s mental health? It starts with you and me. It begins with acknowledging that mental health is not a sign of weakness, it is not a cry for attention, but a genuine call for help.

If you or someone you know is dealing with some mental health issues, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength and courage to fight back.

The road to unmasking and understanding men’s mental health is a journey filled with speed bumps, turns, and rocky roads. But I encourage you to embrace the journey with all its imperfections and challenges.

In conclusion, remember that it’s alright to stumble, to fall, but most importantly, to rise again, with a life filled with hope, passion, purpose and laughter. Never forget you matter, you belong and you’re loved. ~OC

Passion and Purpose

Today’s a new day! As men, our first question to another man usually is “What do you do for a living?” As men our careers tend to be our identities in so many ways. But what happens when that identity is taken away? Shattered into a million pieces when the doctors tell you that you have multiple life threatening illnesses that have no cure. Within hours of hearing that devastating news, what I did for a living didn’t matter anymore. But I still needed purpose. Something to distract me from all the test and multiple hospital stays. That’s why through prayer, I became a medical missionary/coach. Way back when my health journey first started, I was not qualified to help anyone walk through their medical journey. Still not sure I am. Only through God’s help and guidance, am I able to sit with people who are going through some of the toughest battles they have ever faced. I consider it an honor to help others navigate through their health journey. Through my own health challenges, I have found peace, joy and purpose.

As I talk with other patients, I always share the following: “It is not what happens to us during this season of struggles, but how we react that truly defines who we are.” So how do you want to be defined? Health issues or no health issues, that question should dictate how you live.

As I continue walking through this health journey, I am a big believer in being as honest and open as possible. Men are notoriously bad at sharing their feelings, but I want to change that narrative as I continue to live out this crazy beautiful health journey.

We get pushed along in this world by consumerism, but it really doesn’t matter what car, house or latest technology we have. No, what really matters in this journey called life is love, relationships, kindness, caring for others, being surrounded by family and friends. I want to create the best relationships I can, and live the happiest life I can, because I no longer know what my timeframe is (none of us do). So I will continue to live life with passion and purpose. ~OC

Embrace the Moments

Today’s a new day! Love those around you. Stay true to them. Take time with family and friends. Laugh together. Cry together. Celebrate together. Mourn together. Grow together. Cherish what you have right in front of you. Embrace it all. ~OC

Judgement Free Life

Today’s a new day! Take time to listen to other people. People that do not look like, worship like, speak like or vote like you. Ask questions that help you know more about them. Listen with compassion. Hold back from judgement and seek understanding. When you are done listening, listen some more. Wait on God for guidance on how to respond to challenging situations and people. Dare to live a judgement free life. ~OC

Don’t Give Up

Today’s a new day! You never know how much purpose and blessings are wrapped up in your battle. Don’t give up! ~OC

Beautiful Journey

Today’s a new day! As many of you know, I was diagnosed with young-onset dementia last September (2024). Life has changed in many ways since that diagnosis. Writing down my thoughts is much tougher these days. This post literally took me several weeks to write. Finding my words to write or speak can be a daunting challenge at times. As I navigate this new reality of living with dementia, I want to share the journey with you. To answer your questions and to share my thoughts for as long as I can. The following is a question I get a lot as I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey.

What gives you the strength to remain positive?

My Christian faith gives me deep meaning in life, giving me hope for the future and a perspective of my life being eternal, not simply limited to what I see and experience on this side of Heaven. This life and my health journey are temporary.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I have met so many people with different health challenges during my journey, all at various stages of ability due to their declining health. But each person still remains an individual, with their true inner being shining through. The eyes remain a window into someone’s soul, and reflect our humanity.

As my thoughts and overall health becomes a bigger challenge, I see more clearly the importance of relationships. I also see and feel myself traveling through a wide range of emotions, even if they become a little more scrambled with the dementia. Our emotions connect us to each other, allowing us to form relationships, which is a mark of truly being human. As this journey takes me deeper within myself, I find myself reflecting more on God and how to truly live life more for Him. This is what gives me an abiding sense of meaning as I travel on this health journey wherever it takes me. Because I know the final destination is filled with peace and ultimate healing. As a Christian, the ending is really the beginning.

So as I continue to run this health race, I remain positive, feeling that I am gaining along this journey a far better sense of what it means to be truly alive and that much can be achieved to help others as I continue travel this crazy beautiful journey. ~OC

A Night of Prayer

Hello. As I sit here at 10:00pm, I have this feeling God is calling me to a time of prayer tonight. That could be a few hours of prayer or it could mean a whole night of prayer. As I prepare my heart for whatever tonight holds, I want you to know I will be praying for you. If you happen to be up and need specific prayers, please feel free to reach out to me. I pray everyone has as a peaceful and restful night. God Bless. ~OC

Ending the day with God is just as important as when you begin. Another day is ending, and maybe you’re you looking for a way to give your dreams to God, forgive the wrongs of the day, or ask the Spirit to speak to you in your sleep. If you’re unsure what to say as you face another long night or a challenging tomorrow, you might like to pray along with these prayers and make Him the Lord of your nights.

From sunrise to sunset, let the Lord’s name be praised! Psalm 113:3

Thanks for Your Faithfulness

Heavenly Father, my day is drawing to an end, and I’m ready to turn in. But before I do, I have to thank you for your faithfulness today. It’s always a good day, even when things may not go the way I plan, or when the world seems in chaos, because you are in control.

Thanks for Your Unseen Presence

For all the times when I was aware of your help today, all the times when your unseen presence seemed so near, thank you, God. But for all the ways you worked behind the scenes, unknown to me, moments when heaven-sent angels moved on my behalf in ways I’ll never know, thank you for those also, Lord.

Thanks for Your Love and Forgiveness

Forgive me for any foolish actions on my part today or things I did without first asking your blessing or wisdom. Those are moments I would rather forget, but I am so grateful for your forgiveness when I ask. I never want to go to bed without clearing the air between us, Lord. Our friendship means too much, and your holiness deserves that. Thank you for loving me just as I an. Your love compels me to give you my all and fill my heart with praise for the relationship I share because of you sweet Jesus.

May Your Love Touch Others

As my family and friends close their eyes tonight, I am praying for each of them and praying they each would come to know You. I am praying that your love, like the countless number of stars in the night sky, will touch them and help them see who you truly are. I pray for our world and everyone in it. I pray for each of their needs to be met.

Grant Sleep, Refreshment, and Protection

Grant each with a good night’s sleep tonight, God, so that they can awake refreshed and ready to begin another day loving you. Thank you again for blessings so undeserved and too numerous to count. I long for the word “faithful” to describe our service to you, each day of every year. When I awake in the morning, may it be with a joyful smile, not a grumpy spirit. May your protection and your presence bathe my home with peace and safety against the enemy. Good night, Lord.

In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.

Your Calling

Today’s a new day! Never believe the lie that your calling stops because you’re walking through a challenging season. Because your calling is your path to your own healing. You experience healing by continuing to walk in your God-given purpose. That does not mean you do not take time to rest. We all need rest. But I am encouraging each of you to not allow your current circumstance to take you away from what you were called to by God. Because when you keep pushing through the storms of life, you allow the healing power of God to flow through you. Keep walking out your purpose in spite of your current situation. ~OC

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