Twenty-Five Years. Twenty-Five Lessons.

Earlier this week, Laura and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been 25 years. This year to celebrate 25 years together, I want to share 25 things we have learned in this crazy beautiful journey. Obviously, we have learned more than 25 things, but these are the things that came to mind as I was writing this blog.

1). Pray continually.

2).Our faith in God, is what holds us together.  It’s the foundation for our relationship.

3).Protect your marriage by always putting it first…before self, before kids, before career, before parents, before friends. First. Period.

4).It’s ok to talk about how you feel. Just make sure those conversations are filled with respect.

5).Time alone together is important. Date Nights and getting away together once or twice a year is healthy for your relationship.

6).Learn the other person’s love language.

7).Laughter is good for a relationship.

8).Develop a shared interest. It can be simple. Laura and I like to travel and just sit around our house and chill.

9).You will face challenges in life. Work through those tough moments together. Always together.

10).Don’t allow family, friends or cultural to dictate your marriage.

11).In-laws can be challenging at times, but also a beautiful blessing.

12). Marriage not 50/50. It’s 100/100. However, you will not always both be able to give 100% and that’s ok. There will be times you and the Lord will carry things for the both of you. That is Love.

13). Don’t keep score.

14). Make the choice daily to love your spouse.

15). Serve your spouse even when you’re tired and maybe you don’t feel like it.

16). Communicate! Don’t keep things bottled up.

17). It’s ok to agree to disagree.

18). Having a separate interest is okay as long as it doesn’t interfere with your relationship.

19).Listen and let them know they are truly heard.

20). Tell your spouse you’re proud of them.

21). Support their dreams.

22). Critique with love.

23). When life gets tough, remember what you love about them

24). It’s a treasure to have someone to walk through the highs and lows of life with you.

25). Love always.

I am forever grateful that God has blessed me with a bride who loves God first. Also I have always known Laura loves me even on my worst day.

As I reflect on our 25 years together, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 comes to mind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To those couples that might be reading this post, I pray you will cling to the Lord and each other.  It’s what has carried Laura and I this far and I know it will you as well. ~OC

Happy 25th!

Today, Laura and I are celebrating our 25th Wedding Anniversary. When you start out on this journey called marriage, your 25th anniversary seems so far away. But, as many people told us as newlyweds, time flies when you are having fun and it sure does.

We met at a singles event along the walking trail in Palm Beach, FL in January 1999. We enjoyed some great conversation and laughs, but we both did not walk away thinking that’s the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. No, that would come a little later. But not much later. But we took those first few months to pray and get to know each other better.

So in April of 1999, we got engaged. I told you it was not much later. Then on September 3,1999, we both took vows to love, respect and cherish each other for the rest of our days. Oh, we also committed to love each other through sickness and health. Little did we know what was ahead of us in that area of our marriage. I think Laura drew the short stick on that one.

As many of you know, just a few years into our marriage my health started to decline. What we thought would be a short story of overcoming health issues, has turned into a twenty-two year and counting crazy beautiful journey. One that has drastically changed our marriage and our lives. But I believe Laura would agree, it has made our marriage and our lives stronger.

As we have walked this crazy health journey, we have been surrounded by some amazing family and friends. Some of those friends have been part of our love story from the very beginning. I am so thankful for their support during our journey and for having them share in so many special moments with us over the last 25 years.

The past 25 years have been filled with some tough moments. We have dealt with issues most couples will never deal with or at least not until they’re later years. We have been told countless times, that I would not make it for another 24 hours. We have celebrated countless holidays with me in the hospital. But through all of those tough moments, we dealt with them together. And we laughed. One of the promises I made to Laura on the day we got married, was I would make her laugh every day. Even through the storms of life, I am happy to say I have kept that promise. As Laura and I have traveled this journey we realize that marriage is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. We have made our marriage a priority and kept God at the center.

As we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary today, we count it all joy for the amazing journey God has allowed us to experience together. We know every day and every anniversary is a gift. A gift we never take for granted. So today, we will spend some time reflecting, celebrating and laughing. Always laughing. Together. ~OC

Adversity

Today’s a new day! Are you currently walking through a storm? Maybe you just came out of a season of trials. We have all been in one of those seasons at some point in our lives. But as we deal with the different trials of life, I believe that God has placed within each of us, seeds of strength, resilience, and fortitude. We can tap into an unbeatable spirit to overcome the adversities of life.

As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey for the last 22 years, I have leaned on the word of God to help me navigate through the storms of life. I pray the following words will help and encourage you as you run your own life journey.

(1) We can run in God’s Presence. In Matthew 28:20, “I am with you always even to the end of the world. And in Isaiah 41:10, we can lean into this promise “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
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Even when we suffer adversity, we can know that we are in the presence of God. What a great encouragement and comfort to help us through those difficult times.

(2) We can learn from God’s Promises. The Psalmist affirmed that God would be with us. That he is “our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.” God promises help. Comfort. Hope. And in 1 Peter 5:7, we read “And I will care for you.” God feels our pain. He will supply our every need.

(3) We can lean on God’s Power. No matter what we are facing in life, the love and power of God is with us. Finite strength is undependable and expendable, but God’s infinite power is sufficient for every need. Indeed we are “kept by the power of God” (1 Peter 1:5)

(4) We can look for God’s Purpose. I promise you God’s purpose is not to make you miserable. The Apostle Paul said to “rejoice in the Lord” God does not send pain, problems and pressures. God is the giver of good gifts. “Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.” ~James‬ ‭1‬:‭18‬ ‭

So what is God’s purpose for us when we face adversity? That’s a big question. But for me, it has taught me to Walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) My season of adversity as made me stronger (James 1:2-3) I have learned to focus on the eternal plan in Jesus. (Ephesians 3:11) To claim victory through his love, grace and mercy. (Romans 8:30-31).

As we continue to run this race called life, we all will suffer moments of adversity. Sometimes we will experience extreme tragedy. Yet, whatever the trials, storms and tragedies we face, we can always walk in the hope, comfort, grace, strength and love of God. ~OC

We Pray

Dear God, we bow before You for Who You are. You are God and there is no one who compares to you. We adore You oh Lord and love You this day.

Dear God, throughout this day I pray that You will continue to fight for us throughout this journey…

Forgive us Lord and let us be found acceptable before You this moment. May we find favor and acceptance in Your presence oh Lord.

Let Your loving hand never leave our lives. Continue to guide us oh God.

I pray that the power of the blood of Jesus that works in our lives even right now be extended to many lives in the mighty name of Jesus. Let Your name be exalted in our lives this day and Lord usher us into our next level of anointing in the matchless name of Jesus.

The plans you have for us who love You supersedes the evil plans and wicked traps of the enemy. Nothing catches you by surprise oh God and it is not a coincidence that we lean into you at such a time as this. We need you God. Oh how we need You.

Holy Spirit intercede on our behalf this very hour. Guide us. Instruct us. Teach us in the way we should go. Teach our hearts to be sensitive to Your leading and Your presence and to always be discerning what season and what times we are entering. Times and seasons are in your precious hands oh Lord.

Your face shine upon our life throughout this day.

You have been faithful from the beginning of time and You are faithful enough to bring us through this day, faithful enough to walk us through the storms and trials of this journey called life.

Let us not take Your mercy and love for granted dear God. Thank You for who You are even in our lives.
You are forgiving.
You are loving.
You care about us.
You are full of grace.
You call us into holiness into Your Holy presence.
You restore us to obey Your Word.
You are God.
Your are faithful.
Who is like You oh God among the gods? Who is like You in Holiness?
You speak and it is done. You command and it stands!

Thank You Jesus!

We confess our everlasting love for You!

As we walk through the trials of the day by faith, Lord silence every voice of fear and doubt as Your presence goes with us even before us.

Dear God, you have not given us the Spirit of fear, but of power, love and of sound mind.

Fear of disease and sickness is defeated in the mighty name of Jesus. Every demonic fear is rendered powerless in the mighty name of Jesus. As we enter this day with You, we declare and command it as being The day the Lord has made.

No weapon that is formed against us shall prosper.
Every heavy spirit from hell sent to hinder us will be defeated in the name of Jesus.
Every spirit from hell sent to hinder us will be exposed and rendered powerless in the name of Jesus Christ.

Intimidating spirits, and every demonic schemes sent to hinder us in any way we declare you have no power over us or the amazing plans God has for us. We pray all of this in the name above all names. The powerful and matchless name of Jesus. Amen.

Friday Night in the 80’s

It’s Friday! Let’s take a trip back to the 1980’s in West Palm Beach, FL. You have had a long week at school. It’s time to relax and let loose. You spend a lot of time getting ready for a night on the town. Gotta look good! Ladies have to have that 80’s hair on point. Guys have to pick just the right cologne. You jump in a crowded car and see where the night takes you. First stop is the mall. Do you hit the Palm Beach Mall or the Cross County Mall? Maybe you scope out both. If you hit the Cross County Mall, you might check out what’s playing at the AMC Movie Theater. Then you might scroll over to the Arcade. Oh, everyone is getting a little hungry. You head down to Mamma Leone’s for a slice or two. You hang out for a while and decide what’s next. No one can decide on a movie, so you decide to head to Galaxy Skating Rink. You’re bound to find some friends skating to the amazing sounds of the 70’s and 80’s. You spend a few hours skating round and round, then you decide it’s time to head back to the Cross County Mall and get some ice cream at Swenson’s. By that time some new friends have jumped in the 🚘. Maybe you know maybe you don’t. It really doesn’t matter. After making yourself half sick on all the ice cream, you decide maybe you’ll hit a midnight movie at the theater. Maybe you have a friend working there who will let you in for free. After a night of fun, you head home with some amazing memories. Memories that will last a lifetime. Enjoy your Friday night! ~OC

Soundtrack of My Life

Today’s a new day! I thought I would have a little fun with this post. How would my crazy beautiful journey sound if it was set to music?

As I open my eyes on this Beautiful Day, I Rise Up and thank God he always Stands By Me and I Raise a Hallelujah. With Every Little Step, I am Livin’ On a Prayer because these days my body Rattles. Some mornings I think about the Glory Days and remember my body was Born to Run, but today I Dream On because I have learned to Stand Tall and I choose to live life as a Overcomer. As I make my way around My House, I remember It Is Well With My Soul. As I think about Breakfast, I wish I was Hungry Like a Wolf. As I turn on the news, all I hear is Rumour Has It, and all this negativity is Killing Me Softly. Man, you gotta to Pray just to make it today. We all need to Come Together on this Yellow Brick Road and stop all this Jive Talkin’. All this Poison makes me get down on a Bended Knee and live with Gratitude at the Mention of Your Name. I stop and take a look at the Man In The Mirror and I think How Can We Mend A Broken Heart? But I will choose to live Like a Rock because that’s My Prerogative. Some days I just enjoy Rainy Days and Mondays. But Ain’t Nobody going to steal my Joy and I am going to Shake It Up and embrace the Good Times. I will continue to live in Amazing Grace. I wanna live With Arms Wide Open. I am a little Older, but thankfully I am Still Standing and feel Forever Young.

So today, be careful of Careless Whispers and Don’t Let The Sun Go Down without showing some Forgiveness. Today Relax, Because He Lives and took care of everything on The Old Rugged Cross. ~OC

Seasons

Today’s a new day! This journey called life is made up of many seasons
some seasons slip away, never to be seen again while other seasons look like they’re slipping away, but they have only just begun

Like the dim light on the road ahead on an evening run, we only get a glimpse of the secrets of the world
May never pass this way again

Noises all around us
the seasons come and go
May never pass this way again

The dreams we dream keep us moving forward in the difficult seasons of life, those dreams keep us flying like an eagle on a warm summer breeze
May never pass this way again

Like Dr. King in the olden days
we must gather all our courage and live out our dreams
May never pass this way again

So cast away your fears
Our dreams will ebb and flow
different seasons will come and go
May never pass this way again

I wanna laugh with family and friends
I wanna cry and not waste a tear
I wanna dream and live in the moment
May never pass this way again

I wanna dance with my bride on a cool summer night to the sounds of the 80’s in the background
I wanna drive down the highway with adventure in my heart and some Motown playing on the radio
May never pass this way again

On those tough days when my body is failing me, I want to look in the mirror and not see a life of washed out dreams, on those days when it’s hard to breathe, I wanna hear Journey in the background reminding me Don’t Stop Believing
May never pass this way again

As the season change, I’m still standing, maybe not better than before, but living as an Overcomer
I wanna keep dancing in the light
May never pass this way again. ~OC

Mile Marker Moments

Today’s a new day! I will never forget Sunday November 14, 2004. A little over a year after being diagnosed with cancer and having my chest cracked open to remove a golf ball tumor, I completed my very first half marathon on that day. I was blessed that so many friends and family members were at the finish line to help Laura and I celebrate. What a memorable day. My running days gave me so many amazing memories.

I am incredibly thankful for what I call “Mile Marker Moments.” What are Mile Marker Moments? They are moments in life where everything hits the wall. A moment where you have to decide if you continue on or if you call for a ride to the finish line. During my marathon days, my Mile Marker Moment came at mile 19. My body was done. The music on my playlist and the cheers from the crowd were just not enough. At mile 19, I always wanted to throw in the towel. But in that moment, God would fill my body and mind with amazing energy. The strength to get through all the pain and doubts, to continue on and run strong through the finish line. As much as I loved crossing that finish line, the real lessons were learned at mile 19. I truly value the Mile Marker Moments of life.

Mile Marker Moments teach us:
My last year running marathons was extremely tough. My body was really starting to shut down and every training run and marathon was filled with pain. My times had went from somewhat respectable to something far from respectable. Running was no longer easy for me. But after each marathon that year, I would spend time reflecting on the race and my results. I would always walk away with a teachable moment. It was on me to take the time to embrace those lessons and learn from them. Just like mile 19 of a marathon, we have to commit to embracing the valuable lessons of life instead of quitting.

Mile Marker Moments challenge us:
During that last year of running marathons, there were times I really hated running. The pain, the slow pace were overwhelming at times. Here I was the Blessed Overcomer of running, the guy whose story for some reason was encouraging others and I was struggling. But I challenged myself to do better. That can be difficult when your body is betraying you. During those low moments, I would use every race to challenge myself to learn and hopefully do better the next race. We need to use the mile marker moments of life to fuel us for the next opportunity.

Mile Marker Moments shape us: All the tough moments in running and life have strengthened my faith. God has used all of those Mile Marker Moments, to make me a better and stronger person. The Mile Marker Moments of my crazy beautiful health journey remind me that even in my darkest moments, God is still in control. The Mile Marker Moments of my life have blessed me with the opportunity to have some amazing conversations with people dealing with their own mile marker moments. During those conversations, I encourage people to let those mile marker moments help shape them, but not become their identity.

So as you face your own Mile Marker Moments, allow them to reveal God’s purpose for your life. Let them remind you to never give up and keep your eyes on the finish line. ~OC

Be Still

Today’s a new day! I love the song “Be Still.” Various artists have covered the song over the years. But as I sit here this morning, the version that keeps playing in my mind is from the artist Travis Greene. The second part of the first verse says:

“But when the noise is over, a still, small voice you will hear. I hope that you believe me, when I tell ya
That I’ll handle all of your cares, just wait on me.”

Those words remind me of times in my own life when I have been busy, stressed and all God wanted me to do was trust in Him. He had everything under control. My relationships, my finances and my health issues are all in God’s hands. All I needed to do was be still.

I was reminded of the story of Jesus rebuking the wind and waves. He gave a simple, yet powerful command: “Peace, be still” (Mark 4:39), and they had to obey. My stress and worry were like wind and waves tossing me to and fro, coming against me to get me off course. Yet, just as Jesus reminded the wind and the waves of Who was really in control, God was using the song “Be Still” based on His Word to silence the worry and fear raging in my mind and heart. God is still in control and sometimes I need to be reminded of that truth.

Just stop and think, God has the authority to silence any challenge, any trial coming against us. The problem is we have to learn to trust Him. The song Be Still speaks of a “still, small voice” reminding us that God is in control. So many times, the worries of this journey seem to drown out that voice but it is there, we just need to pay attention to it, to listen to it. As the chorus of the song says:

Be still and know, that I am God
Be still and know, that I am God
Just trust and know, that I am God,
And I’m in control, I am still … God
            
The lyrics remind us to simply be still, to trust and know that God is in control and that no matter what storm comes our way, God can and will handle it.

The song “Be Still” comes from the powerful words in Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

So today, as you face the storms and challenges of life, I encourage you to take a moment and just be still. ~OC

Old Friends

Today’s a new day! I woke up this morning, walked out on our balcony that overlooks my old high school (Twin Lakes High School / Palm Beach High School). It made me think a minute about some old friends.

Back in the day, I missed my friends on Summer Break. I loved a break from school. Loved getting to visit out of town family and playing sports all day. But a few weeks into the break, I would start missing my friends from school that did not live close by. Kinda felt like I wasn’t my whole self without them. No cell phones or social media back in the day. So between school and after school activities we would basically go from spending all day every day together to zero contact over the summer. Ouch. What was I gonna do call my friends on the phone that was attached to the wall several times a day and check in? Yes! That’s what a lot of us did back in the day. We made the effort to stay in touch. I fondly remember talking to some friends for hours on the phone.

As I reflect back on my high school years, I couldn’t wait for school to start back to see all of my friends. Yes, I was that person. Life was always better with friends around. I am thankful that God created me to be a person who really wants to connect with others. I can do the surface conversations, but I truly love having meaningful conversations. Always have. Of course being a teenage guy, that was not the norm. That’s probably why I have always had more female friends than guy friends. As I recall, there was not a lot of meaningful conversations with a lot of my guy friends back then. No real sentiments would be shared. I do not think we hugged back then. We would just be together, probably swap stories and just catch up. I am thankful for the few guys that were willing to open up and be real.

I look at my friends as family. I am blessed to still have friends from elementary school. I hope I have never taken my friendships for granted. But sadly, I probably have. For that I apologize. True friends are a beautiful gift. Especially when you’re young. Part of who we are today is because of the friends we had back in our younger days. Of course that could be a little scary. Haha!

As I continue walking through this crazy beautiful health journey, friendships mean a lot more to me these days. Every day is becoming more of a struggle for me at this time, but my days are brightened when I hear from a friend or a friend drops by. Especially when a childhood friend connects with me.

We were all created for relationships. Especially friendships. I believe in the old saying, you cannot pick your family, but thankfully you can choose your friends. My life has been blessed with amazing friendships. I am thankful for those friends who have chosen to walk with me through life. Especially those friends who have stayed by my side during this crazy beautiful health journey. You will never realize the difference you have made in my life. Thank you!

So today, take time to remember the beautiful friendships you have experienced over the years. Never take one for granted. Take time today, to reach out to a friend. You may just brighten their day. ~OC

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