Along the Journey

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will challenge and encourage at least one person.

Twenty-three years ago, I sat in a sterile doctors office as the doctor shared I would probably be dead within five years. As I have continued running this crazy beautiful health journey, I have heard similar predictions from many doctors. Today as I write these words, my prognosis is not great. But as I write these words, I laugh a little because God continues to let me thrive in life despite the poor diagnosis. Throughout the past twenty-three years, God has answered the prayers of many. He continues to give me a reprieve. God continues to work miracles.

During the past twenty-three years of this crazy beautiful health journey, I have learned many lessons. I thought I would share a few.

I have learned to not fear death, but anticipate it with joy.

I love the words of the Apostle Paul,

“As it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” ~Philippians 1:20-21

I believe most Christians do not fear going to be with Jesus. It’s the pain and suffering that often precedes death that makes us a little uneasy. But I think as Christians, we tend to look at it the wrong way. Most of us think that we are in the land of the living en route to the land of the dying. But nothing could be farther from the truth. If we know Jesus, we are in the land of the dying traveling to the land of the living. I have experienced amazing peace during my hardest days. I have felt contentment and surrender wash over me.

Be brave. When I open my eyes each morning, I hear God singing these words to my heart.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” ~Psalm 27:1

Most days , I deal with a lot of pain, weakness, nausea and horrible headaches. But each morning, I make the choice to get up and look forward to all that God has planned for me that day. Now that doesn’t mean I do not have rough days. I definitely do. That is why I always try to share the good and not so good parts of my journey. But I look at others who are suffering more than me and see how they do not complain and are living life with a beautiful sense of joy. I figure if they can face the pain with faith, so can I.

Let God’s Word empower you.

Speak it. Pray it. Sing it. Envision it. The more you allow God’s word to feed your soul, the stronger your spirit becomes. When I am feeling too weak to do anything, I open God’s word or listen to praise music to help me through those tough moments.

I love what the psalmist wrote in Psalm 119:92-93:

“If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have given me life.” ~Psalm 119:92-93

Remember. Be grateful. Be glad. 

As I have faced this health journey, Laura and I have decided to continue traveling and making precious memories. On the really tough days, I look at those pictures and re-live those beautiful moments. I feel so blessed to connect with friends old and new, with family, with former classmates and everyone I have met on this amazing life journey God continues to let me live. All I can do is smile. Well, I cannot really smile that well these days, but I try.

The Apostle Paul shared the following words while sitting in a prison cell:

“For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God,” ~1 Thessalonians 3:9

Embrace each precious moment. 

I have learned to not leave any words unsaid. Hug the people you love (or fist bump). To share and give freely. Leverage your time and energy for God’s purpose.

Over the past twenty-three years, I have faced death many, many times, but God allows me to keep standing. During this journey, I have learned what really matters in life: my relationship with God, my family/friends, serving others and not waiting for the perfect time to make amazing memories.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

When life gets dark, the glory of God shines brighter. I am not afraid of the valley of the shadow of death, because He is with me….closer than I could have ever imagined! ~OC

Don’t Fear Failure

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will bring encouragement to all.

Today’s Lesson: Don’t Fear Failure

I have found embracing failure is an important aspect of personal growth. Encouraging others to take big chances and not be afraid of failing can lead to the discovery of new and life changing ideas. ~OC

Lead Me Home

I wrote this piece back in 2019, but do not believe I ever posted it. The Lost Writings of OC continues.

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk this crazy beautiful health journey, I’ve become comfortable in the wilderness moments. The ups and downs, the barren place is a place that I have spent so much time in that it has come to feel like home. I know how to operate there. I know how to encourage others that are in it. Because when you walk through enormous storms in life and God shows up in huge ways, you become changed by it. I see the beauty in the storms. The beauty that can be present even in suffering. That’s a message I believe in and will continue to share. I truly believe God is present with us in the pain and the struggle and the vast and dreadful desert. And that He uses everything–absolutely everything–for our good and His glory. Even when it doesn’t feel good in the moment. Even when it feels like a million shades of awful. The wilderness place is never where our stories end.

Over the years, I have been asked this question many times, but I often wonder if people truly want the answer. How could God allow it? Why? Why does God allow evil to happen? But when we know God and are following Him, we begin to see more of His character. This God of extraordinary love that comes through for us over and over again–in His way and in His timing and in a way that He knows is best for us. Do we want the answer if it means enduring pain is part of the process? If it makes us more like Him? If it strips us of pride and idols and all the junk that just continually brings us down? How could a good God allow it? We see the world through narrow eyes. We see the temporal things. We see just what is in front of our face at the time. And often what is there is so overwhelming–how could we possibly see anything else? But we have to take the time to look at the full picture. We have to think about how our story will ultimately end. Our God who gives us the choice of whether or not to love Him–because could we truly love Him if He didn’t give us that option? He is too big to accept that kind of response. He wants us. He wants us to love Him for who He is because He already loves us for all of who we are. And with the option to love Him also comes the option not to love Him. To travel our own path. Each of us have a will to choose, and we all at different points choose the wrong one. And the world is broken and full of pain and how do we even begin to reconcile it all? How do we accept that He is still good? He promises to be our God. Our deliverer. Our Savior. Our refuge. Our strength. God promises that we are held safely in His everlasting arms. So why doesn’t He move those enormous mountains in our paths? Why does He make us take the slow and sometimes painful climb to the top? The climb that eventually leads us up to the steepest point where we can look below and see the landscape that was always there but was just always over the next valley. This view from the mountaintop allows us to take it all in–the whole picture. The whole journey. To see both where we have come from and where we are going. The reality is, God doesn’t remove every single struggle in our path. He wants us to work through them. He wants us to put one foot in front of the other and feel our muscles trembling with every single step. Sometimes we feel like we are drowning in our struggles and our sorrows and we cry out to Him for rescue, and the tide just gets stronger. We forget that He already parted the seas for us. That our lives aren’t measured from one situation to another, but from His Son making the way for us and the forever that still awaits us. That there is another side to the mountain that we are climbing and the narrow road we walk is so much shorter than we could possibly believe. Every single step up the steep road strengthens our bodies to continue the walk home. It is hard, and it is painful, and at times we fall over and feel like we couldn’t possibly take another step. But it’s still the road home. Are we going to choose it anyway? Are you going to choose a road that is full of pain and sorrow and hurt? Because He says it is part of the path. That suffering was always a companion on our journeys. By following God’s way we are signing up for struggles and heartbreak. But would He ask this of us if it wasn’t worth it? This world is full of so much pain and sorrow, and it is far too much to bear. People all over the world struggling more than we could possibly fathom, and why does He allow it? But would we know His goodness if He didn’t? Because there is a difference between allowing something to happen and condoning it. Approving of it. And if you spend anytime in His word, you will know that God so wholly and completely disapproves. He doesn’t like it anymore than us when we are faced with a huge mountains to climb in our path–but He will use it. He will redeem it. He will show up and walk the journey with us. Because He is good, and He wants the best for us. He can see more than we can and sometimes that means the hard road. Sometimes the hard road is the only road. But I believe it’s worth it. Walking this health journey has not been easy, but I wouldn’t change it. I embrace the lessons learned. The losses endured. I will continue to walk this journey that will eventually lead me Home. ~OC

Simply David

Today’s a new day! I wanted to take a few days before responding to the irresponsible comments made by Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. earlier this week.

Laura and I have a wonderful and loving nephew living with autism. I should correct myself and say that David is thriving in life. As a child, the doctors shared David would never talk, or be able to take care of himself. Oh, how wrong they were. Today David is in his mid twenties and will talk all day if you let him. He also works two jobs and pays taxes. David has won multiple Special Olympic Medals. He and his father volunteer weekly at their church. Everyone at church knows and loves our nephew. David is living his best life.

So when Mr. Kennedy stood before the cameras and declared that children like David “will never pay taxes, never hold a job and never write a poem, I looked on with horror. Mr. Kennedy then went on to claim autism is “a preventable disease” and promised a lightning-fast investigation to root out its so-called environmental causes. While we must look at every possible cause of autism, including environmental factors, we cannot ignore the decades of scientific research that has already been conducted.

And remember, this is coming from a man with no real medical background.

This coming from the man responsible for guiding the United States’ national health policy. Let that sink in for just a second.

What Mr. Kennedy did at that podium was spew misinformation. It was a new level of fear-mongering. It was the 21st-century version of a snake oil salesman promoting false promises with no credible science.

Let me share what autism actually looks like.

It looks like David playing tennis or pickle ball. It’s David being so excited to dress up like Spider-Man to bring some enjoyment to others. It looks like David always checking in on me during and after a hospital stay. It looks like David making Auntie Laura a sandwich or bringing her a fresh drink. It looks like David constantly looking for ways to serve others. That’s what autism looks like.

David is not a victim. He does NOT fit any of Mr. Kennedy’s cartoonish depiction of helplessness.

I realize autism looks different for every individual and family. But in my nephew’s case, he is kind, he continues to learn and he is thriving in life. David has already defied every negative prediction made about him when he was a child.

And if I have to listen to Mr. Kennedy or any other politician turn my nephew into a sound bite for political gain, I will keep using the power of my voice and the power of the pen to call out such blatant misinformation. And I will continue to encourage everyone to reject these false narratives by voting against them on election day.

My nephew is not a tragedy. And he is certainly not an epidemic. He is simply David. A young man with hopes and dreams like the rest of us.

I would encourage everyone to actually do your own research on autism and other health issues and not the words of a man who only cares about pushing his own twisted agenda. Thanks for reading. ~OC

Jesus and the Cross

Today’s a new day! As we walk through Holy Week, I have been reflecting on Jesus and the Cross.

The cross is where we see Jesus at his most human, but also at his most divine. My heart breaks reading about his anguish, even though I know the triumph to come. This in itself is something Jesus understood – when his friend Lazarus had died (John 11:38-44), Jesus wept even though he knew that in a moment he would raise him to life again.

It’s emotional to read the account of Jesus‘ arrest, beating and crucifixion. My heart breaks for him when he struggles with God’s will and yet accepts it. Even when an angel appears and strengthens him, Jesus is still in anguish and “he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” (Luke 22:42-44).

And Jesus went through all of this for you and I. While we were yet still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). This is what the cross means. This is what Jesus’ suffering means. His anguish, his pain, his fear, his sorrow – Yet He took our place.

Even though I know what happened next, I still feel the sting of shame that it was my sin that put Jesus on that Cross.

As I have been reading the accounts of Jesus death the last few days, something stood out to me. Something I really had not given much thought to, but on this Holy Week it caught my eye. Or maybe my heart. Jesus, on the road to his own crucifixion, having accepted the will of God, even though his body was broken, was forced to accept the suffering of another on his account.

As we read in scripture, a man named Simon of Cyrene was ordered to help carry the cross as Jesus was struggling (Luke 23:26). No easy task. The crossbar of the cross is estimated to have weighed around 70-90 pounds and the whole cross weighed between 220-300 pounds. Even carrying the crossbar would have been a struggle for this man named Simon on a long journey through jeering crowds along hot dusty roads to the crucifixion site – but the whole cross had to be so much more of a struggle. And Simon must have tripped and strained and stumbled his way behind Jesus. And Jesus, walking in front, knew this man Simon was there. And knew he must have been suffering.

If I was Jesus, I probably would have felt some shame. Shame for the pain Simon was enduring after being randomly picked out of the crowd and forced to suffer because of me.

But this is where again we remember that Jesus was fully human. He felt what I feel when I contemplate the cross. He knows and understands us and our emotions so well – because he felt them.

And this is where I remember not to stay in my shame. You see, shame can be a catalyst to change the heart. Shame is never a place we should live. But because I am aware of my sin, I feel shame. That shame should give me the initiative to breathe life into my faith with deeds – deeds of gratitude and obedience to the one who saved me, the one who gave everything for me.

This shame should lead us to a gratitude deeper than any ocean. Jesus hung on that Cross for me – for all of us – while we were still sinners. While we didn’t know him, while we ignored him, while we held him on the cross with our sins. The expanse of God’s mercy is breathtaking.

Jesus, our Savior. So human. So divine. It’s unfathomable. And yet we can see these little glimpses in the gospels of the state of his heart, which in turn helps us to understand the glory of his divinity.

I encourage everyone to spend some time reading the accounts of Jesus crucifixion this Holy Week. Truly hear his words. Feel his pain. And remember his glory. Because Jesus actions are about the glory, not about the shame. Let your shame lead you to gratitude, as we celebrate Easter this coming Sunday. Let us bow down and worship at Jesus feet, because He deserves our everything. ~OC

New Set of Clothing

Today’s a new day! As we walk into a new week, I want to share a little bit with you.

I encourage everyone this week to put on a new set of clothing. Instead of judgment, try on forgiveness… instead of hate, try on love… instead of retribution, try on grace… instead of war, try on peace… instead of following the crowd, why not lean into the promises of Jesus. Today’s world is so polarized and broken and it breaks my heart. The older I have gotten, the more I have come to realize what is important in life. What is important in life is how you live… to live with an attitude of love… to follow the words of the prophet Micah: do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God… and, of course to love God with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength while also loving our neighbor (all of them, even those who are difficult to love) as ourself. Have a blessed Holy Week. ~OC

Live On Mission

Today’s a new day! Several weeks ago, someone online asked me with everything going on with my health, what keeps me motivated to keep writing and trying to be a positive influence?

Living out this crazy beautiful health journey is not easy. The journey has been full of twist and turns. Whether it’s multiple doctor appointments, test after test and too many hospital visits to count. As I have run this race, God has allowed me to share this health journey with multiple people and groups. Whether that’s through having one on one conversations, people reading our books, watching the documentary He used to share our story, this blog or by my postings on social media. I take the things God has called me to do seriously because it is my act of worship and service to Him. Since I started dealing with these health issues so many years ago, God has allowed me to share this journey with so many people. It has been a true pleasure, but also a major responsibility. A responsibility to not make this story about me. Most days, I am dealing with a lot of pain and discomfort as I write and share what’s on my heart. Also these days because of the diagnosis of Early Onset Dementia, finding the time and the words is becoming much harder. Plus, based on my health declining, I find myself sleeping much more these days. So creating new content is much harder than I expected it to be. Plus it takes a lot out of energy and vulnerability to share about everything that life brings me each day. It’s not always pretty. I spend a lot of time praying about what I should share and post. I create and write to encourage others and point people to God. That is one of my great desires.

What keeps me motivated is not about gaining followers or affirmation because those things will fade away and are not reliable motivations. The answer to the question posed to me several weeks ago can be found in John 3:30, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Because when I try to run this health journey or write on my own, I end up in a crazy mess of pride, but when I live and write for Him, life is much fuller and sweeter.

As I continue to run this health journey, I want to spend my time and energy making much of Jesus and living in the fullness of His presence. I do this by using the gifts and passions He has given me to create writings that will hopefully encourage others and help them as they walk through their own life journey and to begin seeking a stronger relationship with God. I believe this quote by Francis Chan sums it up pretty well, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” I want the things that God allows me to share to outlive me. I want my life to make an eternal difference.

When I look at the life of Jesus, I see a life on mission. He came and lived out a purpose driven life. Nothing distracted Him from His mission, and through the cross, He invites us to live on mission right where we are. Though most of my days are spent living with various health concerns, I want to meet with Him through it all. I do not want to waste the precious moments I have been given dreaming and wishing my journey looked different – I want to do all that I can with what God has given me. I want to use the time, energy, talents, and dreams God has placed in my heart to bring Him glory.

When I get to the end of each day, I want to be able to say “Lord, I did all I could to be your hands and feet. I want my legs to be tired, my body to be spent, and my mind to be at peace knowing that I am living for Him and not the temporary. Even if it means I have to get a little uncomfortable, or show some vulnerability, I want my words to be His tools with a purpose. More Jesus, less me, is my motivation to write, create and share my crazy beautiful health journey with others. I want to live on mission. ~OC

Joy In The Morning

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and cannot fall back asleep. On those nights, I usually end up scrolling through social media to see who needs prayer and pray for the needs I already know about. On some of those restless nights, I find myself singing the old hymns that I learned as a child.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine;

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!

Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior all the day long.

This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,

Visions of rapture now burst on my sight; Angels descending, bring from above Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,

I in my Savior am happy and blest;

Watching and waiting, looking above,

Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

I know the words to every verse of this song as well as many other hymns from my childhood. As I sing these beautiful hymns, I sense the quiet embrace of God’s presence around me. I have assurance that He is as close as my next breath and there will be joy in the morning.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” ~Lamentations 3:22-23

I am thankful for this reminder that God brings joy in the morning through His whispers of love in our little victories and echoes of mercy in our failures. ~OC

The Life of Job

Today’s a new day! I couldn’t sleep last night and as I was studying God’s word, He directed me to the Book of Job in the Bible. As I was studying, several thoughts came to my mind. As Job was experiencing the toughest days of his life, he had no idea there was a conversation between God and Satan happening in the heavens above. But that conversation between the King of Kings and the Prince of Darkness decided what ended up happening to Job on earth. And let me tell you, it wasn’t good. The storms of life hit Job smack in the face.

Can you imagine walking in Job’s shoes for even an hour? He lost everything — his cattle, his flocks, his finances, and worst of all, his whole family except for his wife. And it all happened so quickly. Oh, and his friends were not very encouraging.

Yet, despite all the turmoil unfolding right in front of him, what did Job do? He got up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. And then, he fell to the ground and worshiped. Worshipped! Really?

Job’s reaction might seem a little crazy to some of us. How could he still worship God after everything that had just happened to him? But that’s exactly what Job did. That is why we can find such truth and encouragement from the Book of Job.

As mentioned above, Job got up, tore his robe, and shaved his head; then he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:20-21).

Despite his faith being put to the ultimate test, Job passed with flying colors. If the devil had been right in his assessment of Job, it would have meant that the devil was greater or equal to God. But Job didn’t waver. No, he wasn’t a hypocrite, and he didn’t follow the king of hypocrites.

So, here’s a question for each of us as we walk into this new week. If we were ever placed in Job’s shoes, would we react the same way? Would we still worship God in the midst of unimaginable pain and loss? It’s not an easy question to answer, but it’s worth considering. Job’s story shows us that it’s possible to have a soul that’s well, even in the midst of tragedy. And that’s something we can all strive for as we walk out our own life journey. ~OC

Stand

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm. ~ Ephesians 6:13-14

Today’s a new day! Life can feel overwhelming at times. Can I get an amen? Life can be hard. The never-ending to-do lists, the health issues, financial issues, the friendship that ends out of the blue or the house that never seems to stay clean. Sometimes we feel like we cannot cope. We may not even be able to explain it. We just feel overwhelmed. We feel like we’re drowning.

I’m not sure what is currently happening in your life, what crisis you may be facing, but what I do know is we will all face challenges and heartaches we didn’t expect. In the midst of it all, we have a God who, just like a lifeguard, is ready to rescue us.

I can see Him looking at me, saying, “I’ve given you everything you need. Just stand.” Ephesians 6:13-14 declares, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm …” My heart is lifted up as I remember the following truths. Hopefully they can bring you some encouragement.

*No matter how unqualified we feel for the tasks set before us, with God we’re well-equipped.

*No matter how fast we seem to be sliding down the slippery slope of this thing called life, with God we are not in despair.

*No matter how overwhelming the situations of life feel, with God we are not drowning.

Friend, God has given us everything we need to stand victorious against the storms and uncertainties of this world. All we have to do is stand. Stand on His Word. Stand on His promise that declares we are “more than conquerors through him who loved us”(Romans 8:37). Stand on the command of Jesus to “take heart” because He has “overcome the world” (John 16:33). Stand on the truth that He will “fight for you against your enemies to give you victory” (Deuteronomy 20:4)

Today, let’s declare it with our mouths and believe it in our hearts. After you’ve done all you can, just stand!

Dear God, even though we can get easily overwhelmed by the things of this life, we thank You that You are always there, that You never leave nor forsake us. We pray that we will be reminded continuously that through the power of Your Word, we are well-equipped for this journey You have prepared for us. No matter what comes our way, may we stand on Your promises. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. ~OC

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