Life Takes A Village

Today’s a new day! As the holidays are just a few days away, I encourage everyone to not forget about those loved ones going through loss this season. Whether the loss of a loved one happened a few days ago or decades ago, the pain is still real. Going through the grieving process can be a very dark and difficult time for a person. However, it is also hard for the loved ones of this individual. Family members and friends often struggle to find the best ways to be supportive. Plus, the holiday season can make this process that much more challenging.

If you are the loved one of a grieving individual, understanding the stages in this process is an important place to start, but there are also many genuine things you can do to show your love and help.

Reach out to them. Most grieving people find it hard to take initiative and reach out to others. You can help by doing this for them. Stay connected with them via visits, phone calls, text, email or video chat. Make sure you are still checking in on them in the months following their loss, when fewer people are doing so.

Find ways to help. Come up with specific tasks you can assist with. Volunteer to drop off pre-made dinners so they don’t have to worry about cooking. Check and see if you can run errands for them. See if there is any house or yard work they need assistance with. Maybe they just need you to sit with them.

Don’t be afraid to say their name.To share stories. Those grieving can be concerned that their loved one will be forgotten by others. Therefore, don’t be afraid to mention the loved one’s name and to share stories about the person. Those stories may bring some tears, but they could also bring some much needed laughs.

This holiday season will be tough for many this year, so take the time to reach out to them and let them know you care. Life takes a village. ~OC

Word for 2025….Guarded

Today’s a new day! For probably the last ten years, every December I ask God to give me a word for the upcoming year. This year is no different, even though this year has been a life changing year for Laura and I and the year is not over yet. But after a lot of prayer, the word God has given me for 2025 is Guarded. Some people might find that a surprising word as we get closer to entering a new year. But let me explain.

Many people know about my story concerning my crazy beautiful health journey. Over the years, I have shared my story and struggles on social media, in conversation, in books and even an award-winning documentary. I have been blessed to experience some amazing opportunities over the past 22 years. I have also experienced some great pain as more than one “friend” has used my story for their personal gain and discarded me after I was no longer the flavor of the month. I do not share this for any type of sympathy, but to let you know why I chose the word Guarded for 2025 and why I will have less of a presence on social media next year. The daily text of encouragement will continue for those friends God puts on my heart.

In 2025, I will spend more time cultivating the real relationships in my life and guard myself against those who only contact me when they need something or feel guilty. As I continue to navigate life with dementia, I do not have the energy or desire to put anymore energy into fake and superficial relationships.

No, 2025 will be spent making memories with those who truly care about me. Not just the “Miracle Story.” Those few friends who actually reach out to me without me always having to innate the conversation or get together. I am looking forward to a beautiful memory filled 2025.

What will be your word for 2025? ~OC

True Meaning of Christmas

Today’s a new day! As we celebrate this Christmas season, I wanted to share my thoughts on the true meaning of Christmas.

For me and many Christians, Jesus is the reason for the season and my family and friends mean the world to me and are a beautiful blessing. With all the shopping, parties and trying to have the perfect Christmas, so many people lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. Isn’t it supposed to be shared with those you love most? Isn’t our presence supposed to be more valuable than presents? What happened along the way to constantly change people’s perspective? Aren’t we supposed to be remembering the most famous story in the Bible of Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem and the Angel visiting them in the manger telling them not to be afraid of the Angel’s presence? We are supposed to be surrounded with our loved ones, attend Christmas service and gather around tables eating together and sharing holiday memories with loved ones.

If only people could really understand the true meaning of Christmas and not be so infatuated with the gifts, lights, shopping deals and trying to spend the most money to impress people. Gifts fade and become meaningless, time passes, people forget what you purchased them and we tend to glorify the wrong things and situations. While receiving gifts is fun and rewarding in the short term, actually caring for and spending time with the people we love is a lot more important. Being together with loved ones and sharing time together is what this Christmas season is all about. Giving back to our community is what we should be looking forward to and trying to help those in need. Saying a prayer for someone hurting this holiday is a good start if you cannot afford to buy anything monetarily.

I know the holidays are difficult for people who have lost loved ones during this time of year, or might be going through a difficult season in life. However, we cannot allow these negative situations to hold us back from receiving Jesus’s love for us and spreading holiday cheer. Do not allow your current or past circumstances cloud your future happiness and the joy of this season. Make the choice to live with a grateful heart for the small things in life and try not to dwell too much on the past. Spend some time reflecting on 2024 and look forward to all that God has for you in 2025. Take some time to count your blessings.

The true meaning of Christmas is what you make of it and not all the fancy gifts that sit under trees and will be forgotten as years pass. Go out and make new memories with your family and friends that will last a lifetime. I promise you – time spent together with loved ones is better than money well spent on items that have a lot less meaning to them. Merry Christmas to you all and blessings for the New Year. ~OC

Thoughts and Prayers Are Not Enough

Here I am again, writing about another school shooting in America. This is getting old and more frustrating. When will America wake up and realize that common sense gun laws and more mental health resources are needed to help curb this type of violence?

I also offer the following challenge to those politicians and decision makers who will share their “thoughts and prayers” with the families. Please don’t, if there is no action behind those sentiments. Instead, express the actual thoughts you are thinking and the actual prayers you are praying. I mean that quite literally. They are far more meaningful than an empty worthless phrase that is really designed to ease our own discomfort and let us off the hook from having to do anything.

And then match your actions with your prayers and your thoughts. That’s how it works.

If you need an example of how this works, here’s my own personal example. After one of the school shootings earlier this year I lamented to God, saying something “How long oh Lord? How long? I’m so tired of the empty rhetorical cycle that happens after a shooting. A shooting happens, then “thoughts and prayers” which no one actually seems to do, then a pointless debate in which people talk over each other, and then nothing changes. Enough! This cannot keep going on. Amen.”

Please understand, I believe in the power of prayer. But if there is no action behind those prayers, what is the point.

I know even with common sense gun laws and more mental health resources there is a chance that school shootings could still happen, but I truly believe we would see less of these tragic events.

In the end, I just want “thoughts and prayers” to actually mean something and lead to real change. ~OC

Choose Wisely

Today’s a new day! As Christian’s, the way we treat people can drive them out of the church or to the foot of the alter. Chose wisely. ~OC

Infectious

Today’s a new day! Fear is infectious. Let it spread and it will paralyze us all. The only antidote for fear is courage which is also infectious. ~OC

The Power of One

Today’s a new day! More importantly, it’s Rosa Parks Day. On December 1, 1955, Rosa Parks changed the course of history with one act. Ms. Parks refused to give up her seat on the city bus to a white passenger, as the unjust law demanded her to do during that time of American History. She was removed from the bus and arrested. Yet her spontaneous defiance sparked the ensuing Montgomery Bus Boycott, a movement of blacks and whites that took shape within hours of her arrest and advanced the civil rights movement across the United States. The boycott lasted 381 days. A time in which black commuters walked, rode bikes, or accepted rides from sympathetic supporters — until a district court ruling declared bus segregation unconstitutional. This ruling was upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court, striking down the practice across the country. And this was just the beginning: the boycott galvanized a national network of support, and created a framework of committed activists, that would form the backbone of the civil rights movement for decades to come. ~OC

“People always say that I didn’t give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn’t true. I was not tired physically… No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in.” ~Rosa Parks

Grateful

Today’s a new day! I’m grateful this morning for another day to breathe, to think and make more memories with my bride, friends and family.

I’m grateful for my cup of ice tea and a cool breeze on our balcony.

I am grateful for the anticipation of this new day.

I am grateful to be living in peace.

I’m grateful to still be alive, now, in this place and at this time.  I’m ever-thankful for the extra time God has given me.

I am grateful for the freedom to write in my hometown and to write whatever, however, whenever I please.

I am grateful for the amazing people God has brought my way on this crazy beautiful health journey. Thankful to have met so many creative and loving people over the past twenty-two years.

I am grateful for the friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.

I am thankful that my gratitude stretches around the world with all the people who have walked this journey with me through this blog and my other social media pages.

I am grateful to live in love, hope and peace and cherish this day that the Lord has given me. ~OC

Forgiveness

In Matthew 6:9-15 we read the following words:

Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is just one of many lessons Jesus taught us about unforgiveness. He shared on numerous occasions about not allowing unforgiveness to reside in our hearts. God shared those who refuse to forgive others will not be forgiven by the Father. Be careful not to misunderstand Jesus’ meaning here. We do not lose our salvation when we refuse to forgive others. Rather, we break fellowship with God because an unrepentant attitude interferes with regular confession and turning away from sin.

Forgiveness is an act of the will more than an act of the heart. We do not often feel like showing mercy or forgiveness to someone who’s wronged us, but but that’s exactly what we’re called to do (Matthew 5:38-40). A resentful spirit grows into a terrible burden. God knows that forgiveness is best, even when it is difficult. Claim the divine mercy He offers, and ask Him to enable you to lay aside your frustrations, anger and resentment. As part of the decision to move forward in grace, make a habit of praying for those who hurt you. And if God so leads, seek their forgiveness for your wrong attitude or actions.

A bitter spirit doesn’t fit who we are in our relationship with God. That’s why there are so many scriptures about forgiveness. We have to choose to be liberated from our burdens and unforgiveness. Did you catch that? We have to make the choice. God promised to make us free when we choose to believe and obey Him (John 8:31-32). Freedom from our burdens sounds pretty good to me. ~OC

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