Today’s a new day! In the age of social media and partisan cable news, one of the most common questions I get as a Christian is how do I stay in relationship with the family member or friend who believes differently than I do? It can be difficult when we are all firing off text and social media post without giving it any thought or even taking a breath. Things can get nasty and personal real quick.

I recommend that each of us get in the habit of never posting a quick reply to another person’s post or text we disagree with. This can be difficult. We so desperately want to share our opinions. If something someone has posted or shared really bothers you, take a day to think about it and then message them. Maybe you need to type something out to get your feelings on screen.  If you’re like me, once you get your feelings out, you realize there is no real need to push send.

Sometimes you may need to adjust the settings on your email or social media to “mute” a certain person’s messages. They don’t have to know you aren’t reading the stuff they are sharing and forwarding to you.  You can spare yourself and them the awkward discussion of why you “unfriended” them.

Other times you may have to take the hard step of “un-friending” someone or maybe just letting that person know you need to communicate with them in other ways besides social media, text or email, because you can’t keep your emotions in check. I’ve had to make this move with some close friends, because what they share or post provokes a reaction in me I don’t like.  I’m pretty sure the stuff I share and post has caused that same kind of reaction in them. I’m definitely sure that what either of has posted has never changed their mind or mine.

Finally, there are those people who share such negative and personal things that it may amount to emotional abuse. In such cases, setting firm boundaries is necessary for your own well-being and health. Loving your neighbor can only happen from a safe distance with some people.

Remember the biggest companies with the smartest minds are working non-stop to keep us glued to our phone, tablet and computer. They make money and lots of it, the longer we keep using their app or watching their channel. The easiest way to keep us making money for them is to keep us outraged. There are genuine things to be outraged about in the world, but few of them are ever changed by a shared social media post, a forwarded email or text.

Sadly, our culture does not reward maintaining relationships with people different from ourselves. It rewards outrage and remaining in your own bubble. Yet, if we are really going to “Love our neighbor. No exceptions.” it has to cut both ways.

Nobody ever said this Christian life would be easy. ~OC