Author: theblessedovercomer

Welcome! My name is Todd OC Shoemaker. The OC is short for Overcomer. That’s the nickname my medical team gave me many years ago. You see, for the last 22 years, I have battled several life threatening health issues. On multiple occasions, my bride Laura has been told I would probably not make it through the night. Our faith has helped us run this crazy beautiful journey. We live with hope. I encourage you to run with me as I share my thoughts along the way. ~OC

Wake Up America

I wrote the following back in 2017. Sadly, nothing has changed in America. Four mass shootings in America this week.

Let me say, I believe in the 2nd Amendment. I have never owned a gun and probably never will. With that said, enough is enough. We have a major gun issue in America. Let’s stop ignoring that reality. How many more innocent lives will be taken by people who should have never been able to to purchase a firearm? It is way too easy to buy a gun in America. When will the politicians have the guts to stand up to the NRA? Sadly those politicians will probably continue to take millions and millions of dollars from the NRA. I have family and friends who are responsible gun owners. My question to you and other responsible gun owners in America, when will you stand up and demand common sense gun control?

Also when will we wake up and realize we have a mental health crisis in America? We need more programs for those dealing with mental health issues. Those programs need to be properly funded. We cannot keep cutting funding from these programs. People are hurting and need help.

As I shared above, I wrote this in 2017. Sadly, I am currently watching the images of two mass shootings in less than 24 hours. Dear Politicians, your thoughts and prayers are no longer enough. They feel cheap and disingenuous. America needs you to take real and significant action. Wake Up America! ~OC

0

Love Without Prejudiced

Jesus was asked this most important question, “Which is the greatest commandment?” Jesus answered this question with two commandments. The first, “Love God with all your heart, soul and mind.” The second, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Seems like love was pretty important to Jesus.

So who is my neighbor? I believe my neighbor is everyone who lives on planet earth. So that means I am supposed to love the following people:

My Muslin Neighbor.

My Immigrant Neighbor.

My Gay Neighbor.

My Atheist Neighbor.

My Noisy Neighbor.

My Gossiping Neighbor.

My Ex-Con Neighbor.

My Person of Color Neighbor.

My Republican Neighbor.

My Democrat Neighbor.

My Independent Neighbor.

My No Political Party Neighbor.

My Racist Neighbor.

Wow! Really OC, the racist neighbor? Yes, Jesus said we are to love everyone. This is not easy. Some people are just hard to love. But if we call ourselves followers of Jesus, we must love without prejudice. ~OC

0

Why We Need To Talk About Racism

I can hear it now. OC is talking about racism again. Can I be honest with you? I really do not like talking about racism. I know that is hard for some of you to believe, based on all my post about racism. But truly, I wish I never had to talk about racism again. Really, I do. So OC, why do you keep talking and writing about racism? Good question. I am glad you asked.

As a white man in America, I have a lot of privileges. I did not asked for these privileges. I did nothing to earn these privileges. I just happened to be born white in America. But as a white man in America, I have been bestowed these privileges for simply being born white. Here are some examples of my white privilege in America.

*I can walk down the street and no one is going to clutch their bag a little tighter. My brothers and sisters of color do not have that same privilege.

*I can hail a cab with no problems. My brothers and sisters of color do not have that same privilege.

*I can walk through any store and not be followed by security. My brothers and sisters of color do not have that same privilege.

*I can drive in any neighborhood and not fear being pulled over by the police for simply driving. My brothers and sisters of color do not have that same privilege.

I wonder how many people stopped reading when I mentioned white privilege.? I hope you stayed with me and take some time to really think about the examples above. Those are not made up examples. Those things plus a lot more happen everyday in America. That is why I will continue to talk and write about racism in America. I believe with everything going on in our nation, we can no longer make excuses for not talking about racism. Only by discussing the issue of racism, can we hope to end one of the original sins of America. ~OC

0

Just a White Guy Fighting Racism

As you can tell from some of my previous post, I believe racism is one of the biggest issues facing our nation. Of course the issue of racism is not new to America. I believe it is one of the original sins of our nation. I could share a lot of data to support that statement, but I would rather share some practical steps white people can take to help improve race relations in America. Wait a second Todd. Why are you directing this towards white people? I am glad you asked. I believe for too long, we (white folks) have been afraid to have conversations about racism. We do not want to say the wrong thing and be accused of being a racist. I get it. I have been there. But we must have these tough conversations. I would like to share a few simple steps I think we (white folks) can take to help fight everyday racism. I have found them helpful in my journey to help end racism.

Listen to People of Color. To often when our brothers and sisters of color are discussing racism, we want to jump in and try to fix things. Or worse we discount what they are saying. We just cannot believe they would still encounter such blatant racism in 2019. They do! So the next time you have the opportunity to discuss racism with a person of color, just listen as they share the pain they face daily.

Educate Yourself. Take time to learn about All of America History. Not just the white history most of us learned in school. There are plenty of books, museums, websites and articles to help you become more informed.

Stand Up to Racism. Don’t walk away when that family member or coworker tells a racist joke. Confront them on their behavior. Call out the business owner who follows a person of color around the store. Stop and educate someone when they say racism is not that bad in America. It is! I know this might be difficult for some of you, but we cannot stay silent.

Ask Questions. Take time to asked people of color plenty of questions. It’s okay to admit you don’t know everything. I have no idea what its like to be a person of color in America or anywhere else. So the only way I can learn is by asking questions and listen. Remember to always listen.

What Happens If I Make A Mistake? If you happen to say or do the wrong thing, ask a friend of color how you can fix it. Apologize if needed.

Friends of Color. Okay none of this works, if you do not have any friends of color. No, the person of color you say hello to in passing at work or church does not count. Take the time to get out of your comfortable “white bubble” and engage with people of color. That might mean changing where you hang out or what church you attend. But I guarantee it will be worth it.

I know these six steps will not end racism by themselves, but I believe it’s a good start. Do not think you have to do them all in one day. That would be overwhelming. But I encourage you to start with one today. ~OC

0

True Friendship

*True friends Encourage you.

*True friends Respect you.

*True friends Support you.

*True friends Stand By you.

*True friends Reach Out to you.

*True friends Listen to you.

*True friends are Honest with you.

*True friends Forgive you.

*True friends Walk the Journey with you.

 

Dear God, please help me be this type of friend. ~OC

0

Great Quotes! Live Them Out

During these turbulent times, I believe the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr are needed more than ever. We need to truly live out Dr. King’s words.

“There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“There comes a time when silence is betrayal.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate them.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We must live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

0

I Love You

To my brothers and sisters in Baltimore, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters of color, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters in the LBGTQ+ Community, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters on the other side of the political aisle, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters of a different faith, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters in Puerto Rico, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters who spew hate, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters who wish me harm, I love you.

To my atheist brothers and sisters, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters who have a different opinion than me, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters that feel lost, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters who want to give up, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters in prison, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters who do not feel loved, I love you.

To my brothers and sisters who might attack me for this post, I love you. ~OC

0

My Voice

As some of you know, based on my health issues I speak with a whisper these days. The photo above is my Chatter Vox Amplifier. Without this device, you could not hear me. I always have to warn new people before they call about my device. If not the first few minutes of the conversation can be really awkward.

Some people see this device and feel sorry for me. Let me ease your mind. This device has been a beautiful blessing. It has allowed me to continue having a social life. Life was difficult when people could not hear me and I had to continually repeat myself. Talk about frustrating.

Also this device has allowed me to continue sharing my story with an audience. Not great for a speaking career, when no one can hear you. I am blessed to be able to still share about my crazy beautiful health journey.

Plus, it’s a great conversation stater. If you saw someone wearing this around their neck, wouldn’t you asked about it? Of course you would. So I never have to worry about starting a conversation.

We all deal with tough situations in life. Mine just happen to be health related. But I have not let my health journey keep me from thriving in life. I do not know what kind of storm you are facing today, but I encourage you to take what the world might perceive as a negative and turn it into a beautiful positive. ~OC

0

What About The Caregiver

I have been fighting multiple life threatening health issues for the past 17 years and my wife Laura has the toughest job. That’s right. You see, Laura has been a Caregiver for 17 of our almost 20 years of marriage. She has definitely lived out the “In Sickness and Health” vow. A lot of people like to call me a Rockstar, but Laura is the real Rockstar in this crazy beautiful journey.

As a patient, I know what I need to do. I have my checklist of things to do each day. The caregiver does not have a checklist. They do not have a treatment plan. Most of the time the caregiver is trying to figure things out on the fly. Hoping what they say and do is correct. Also, the caregiver tends to get lost along the way. Everyone is always asking about the patient, but we need to make sure we never forget to check in on the caregiver. How can we do that? Here is a few things Laura and I have learned over the years.

Take Time to Laugh. I know it sounds simple, but humor has helped Laura and I deal with some of the toughest moments we have faced in this crazy beautiful journey. Plus one of my wedding vows was I would make her laugh everyday.

Have Your Own Team. I often talk about the great team I have around me. The caregiver also needs to have a great team around them. Over the years, Laura has been blessed with a wonderful team of people to help her walk this journey. Do not do it alone.

Take Time for Yourself. The caregiver must take time for themselves during the journey. That could mean taking a walk by yourself or taking a trip. During our journey, I have always encouraged Laura to get away with friends and not become consumed with taking care of me. This is where The Team comes into play. When Laura is away getting recharged, our team steps up to take care of me. Thank goodness I am still able to do a lot for myself, but it’s nice to have that team available to help.

Let People Help. A lot of times when people are dealing with the storms of life, they try and do everything by themselves. Laura tried to do everything herself at the beginning of our journey. That was not healthy or fair to her. People truly want to help, we just have to ask. Let me give you an example. I am no longer able to drive. That can be tough when you have multiple doctors appointments a week. Laura used to take me to my appointments/treatments and then pick me up afterwards. That meant she had to work around her work schedule. A friend found out about this and decided to set up rides for me. Guess what? People actually fight over (in a nice way), who gets to take me to and from my appointments. This has taken so much pressure off of Laura. Plus I get to hang out with some amazing people.

Rest. Taking care of someone can be overwhelming. Can I get an Amen from all the caregivers out there? So it is important to get some rest. In the early days of my hospital stays, Laura would stay with me all day. Not leaving the hospital until late at night. If anyone has spent any time in the hospital, you know how exhausting that can be. Today, I make sure Laura leaves the hospital early and comes in later in the morning or afternoon. That gives her time to get the proper rest.

Stop Comparing Yourself. Your journey as a caregiver is unique. Please do not compare your caregiving skills with someone else. Your doing a great job!

Take Time to Eat Properly. A lot of times the caregiver is running from one appointment to another. It is easy to stop at a drive-thru and get to the next appointment or hospital visit. Sometimes a caregiver gets so busy, they forget to eat. Please take the time to sit down and have a nice meal. That is part of taking care of yourself.

Don’t Forget Your Health Needs. It is so easy for the caregiver to forget about their own health needs. I am constantly checking with Laura about her health needs. That is also where Team can help. Make sure the caregivers in your life is taking care of their physical, mental and emotional health needs.

Community Resources. There are so many resources out there for caregivers. Do not be afraid to check them out. They can make this journey so much easier.

Write Things Down. As a caregiver, you are being bombarded with a lot of information. That can be overwhelming. Over the years, Laura has created a medical sheet for me. It has all my vital information on it. It includes my list of medications, the names and phone numbers of my doctors, a list of my past procedures, all my implants and the medications I am allergic to. This sheet has been a blessing. So many of our medical team have mentioned how helpful it is for them, especially during an Emergency Room visit. Laura has my information saved on her computer, so she can easily update it.

Know Your Limitations. I know most caregivers are superheroes, but know your limitations. You do not have to do everything on your own. Be willing to except help. People genuinely want to help. Asking for help does not make you a failure. It makes you human,

Learn to Say No. A caregiver takes on many roles. That can be exhausting. So I want to encourage all caregivers out there, it is okay to say No. Being able to say no can be so freeing. It frees you up to say Yes to the really important things in life.

These are just a few lessons Laura and I have learned during our crazy beautiful journey. In our book, “The Blessed Overcomer”, Laura shares about her journey as a caregiver. I am so thankful she shared her part of our story. We have received some amazing feedback from other caregivers. Caregivers are heroes, but they are still human. Please check in on the caregivers in your life. Do not allow them to walk their crazy beautiful journey alone. ~OC

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑