Category: Uncategorized

My Voice

As some of you know, based on my health issues I speak with a whisper these days. The photo above is my Chatter Vox Amplifier. Without this device, you could not hear me. I always have to warn new people before they call about my device. If not the first few minutes of the conversation can be really awkward.

Some people see this device and feel sorry for me. Let me ease your mind. This device has been a beautiful blessing. It has allowed me to continue having a social life. Life was difficult when people could not hear me and I had to continually repeat myself. Talk about frustrating.

Also this device has allowed me to continue sharing my story with an audience. Not great for a speaking career, when no one can hear you. I am blessed to be able to still share about my crazy beautiful health journey.

Plus, it’s a great conversation stater. If you saw someone wearing this around their neck, wouldn’t you asked about it? Of course you would. So I never have to worry about starting a conversation.

We all deal with tough situations in life. Mine just happen to be health related. But I have not let my health journey keep me from thriving in life. I do not know what kind of storm you are facing today, but I encourage you to take what the world might perceive as a negative and turn it into a beautiful positive. ~OC

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What About The Caregiver

I have been fighting multiple life threatening health issues for the past 17 years and my wife Laura has the toughest job. That’s right. You see, Laura has been a Caregiver for 17 of our almost 20 years of marriage. She has definitely lived out the “In Sickness and Health” vow. A lot of people like to call me a Rockstar, but Laura is the real Rockstar in this crazy beautiful journey.

As a patient, I know what I need to do. I have my checklist of things to do each day. The caregiver does not have a checklist. They do not have a treatment plan. Most of the time the caregiver is trying to figure things out on the fly. Hoping what they say and do is correct. Also, the caregiver tends to get lost along the way. Everyone is always asking about the patient, but we need to make sure we never forget to check in on the caregiver. How can we do that? Here is a few things Laura and I have learned over the years.

Take Time to Laugh. I know it sounds simple, but humor has helped Laura and I deal with some of the toughest moments we have faced in this crazy beautiful journey. Plus one of my wedding vows was I would make her laugh everyday.

Have Your Own Team. I often talk about the great team I have around me. The caregiver also needs to have a great team around them. Over the years, Laura has been blessed with a wonderful team of people to help her walk this journey. Do not do it alone.

Take Time for Yourself. The caregiver must take time for themselves during the journey. That could mean taking a walk by yourself or taking a trip. During our journey, I have always encouraged Laura to get away with friends and not become consumed with taking care of me. This is where The Team comes into play. When Laura is away getting recharged, our team steps up to take care of me. Thank goodness I am still able to do a lot for myself, but it’s nice to have that team available to help.

Let People Help. A lot of times when people are dealing with the storms of life, they try and do everything by themselves. Laura tried to do everything herself at the beginning of our journey. That was not healthy or fair to her. People truly want to help, we just have to ask. Let me give you an example. I am no longer able to drive. That can be tough when you have multiple doctors appointments a week. Laura used to take me to my appointments/treatments and then pick me up afterwards. That meant she had to work around her work schedule. A friend found out about this and decided to set up rides for me. Guess what? People actually fight over (in a nice way), who gets to take me to and from my appointments. This has taken so much pressure off of Laura. Plus I get to hang out with some amazing people.

Rest. Taking care of someone can be overwhelming. Can I get an Amen from all the caregivers out there? So it is important to get some rest. In the early days of my hospital stays, Laura would stay with me all day. Not leaving the hospital until late at night. If anyone has spent any time in the hospital, you know how exhausting that can be. Today, I make sure Laura leaves the hospital early and comes in later in the morning or afternoon. That gives her time to get the proper rest.

Stop Comparing Yourself. Your journey as a caregiver is unique. Please do not compare your caregiving skills with someone else. Your doing a great job!

Take Time to Eat Properly. A lot of times the caregiver is running from one appointment to another. It is easy to stop at a drive-thru and get to the next appointment or hospital visit. Sometimes a caregiver gets so busy, they forget to eat. Please take the time to sit down and have a nice meal. That is part of taking care of yourself.

Don’t Forget Your Health Needs. It is so easy for the caregiver to forget about their own health needs. I am constantly checking with Laura about her health needs. That is also where Team can help. Make sure the caregivers in your life is taking care of their physical, mental and emotional health needs.

Community Resources. There are so many resources out there for caregivers. Do not be afraid to check them out. They can make this journey so much easier.

Write Things Down. As a caregiver, you are being bombarded with a lot of information. That can be overwhelming. Over the years, Laura has created a medical sheet for me. It has all my vital information on it. It includes my list of medications, the names and phone numbers of my doctors, a list of my past procedures, all my implants and the medications I am allergic to. This sheet has been a blessing. So many of our medical team have mentioned how helpful it is for them, especially during an Emergency Room visit. Laura has my information saved on her computer, so she can easily update it.

Know Your Limitations. I know most caregivers are superheroes, but know your limitations. You do not have to do everything on your own. Be willing to except help. People genuinely want to help. Asking for help does not make you a failure. It makes you human,

Learn to Say No. A caregiver takes on many roles. That can be exhausting. So I want to encourage all caregivers out there, it is okay to say No. Being able to say no can be so freeing. It frees you up to say Yes to the really important things in life.

These are just a few lessons Laura and I have learned during our crazy beautiful journey. In our book, “The Blessed Overcomer”, Laura shares about her journey as a caregiver. I am so thankful she shared her part of our story. We have received some amazing feedback from other caregivers. Caregivers are heroes, but they are still human. Please check in on the caregivers in your life. Do not allow them to walk their crazy beautiful journey alone. ~OC

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What Side of Racism Will You Stand On?

Another weekend and another round of mean-spirited racially motivated tweets. When will it end? When will leaders on both sides of the political aisle stand up against these tweets and comments? What side of racism will you stand on? I think that is one of the most important questions we need to asking our leaders, our churches and ourselves.

Sadly, the leaders of the Republican Party appear to be staying silent on the mean-spirited racist comments coming out of the White House. Why? I think Republicans are more concerned about having a Republican in the Oval Office than they are about doing what’s right for the country. Before you bash me as a liberal snowflake, I was a loyal life long Republican until the Republican Party sold out and nominated the current President. I could not in good conscience stay in a political party that would nominate a person that went against everything I stand for. So my question to my former party is how long will you support a person that holds none of your values? If the current President was a Democrat or Independent, you would have already run him out of Washington. Stop being afraid of the truth and stand up for what is right.

Dear Church Leaders, will you continue to sell out your beliefs, to have a seat at the President’s table? You are supposed to live with a higher standard. For those religious leaders who continue to stand up for the President, has it been worth it? Can you actually sleep with a clear mind? Have you actually talked with the members of your church who are frustrated and scared about the current state of America? You do not get a pass because your church prays when there is a racially motivated shooting. No, that is not enough. Dear Pastors, America is watching your actions or lack of. What side of racism will you stand on?

I believe there are good people on both sides of the political aisle. I believe there are churches and pastors standing on the right side of history. I want to personally thank you and encourage you to continue standing up for what is right. Even when standing up for what is right cost so much. ~OC

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; Only love can do that.” Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Let Go of Fear

Has fear controlled your life? At some point in our lives, everyone has dealt with fear. For some, fear has paralyzed them. Kept them from truly living life.

During my 17-year and counting crazy beautiful health journey, fear has reared its ugly head several times in my life. I remember the first diagnosis so many years ago. Cancer. How could I possibly have cancer? Fear gripped my wife and I after that diagnosis. We had only been married a few years at that point. We had so many plans. Would we even have another year together? This scene has played out in our marriage many times over the years, as I have been diagnosed with one life threatening health issues after another. How have we dealt with the different fears that have tried to steal our happiness?

Prayer. I know this sounds simple, but a lot of times we reach for everything but prayer. Prayer becomes a second or tenth option. I would encourage everyone to make prayer your first option. I can personally testify to the power of prayer and faith in my own journey. I know I would not be alive today, writing this post if not for prayer. Not just my prayers, but the prayers of many. Whatever you may be going through today, I encourage you to pray and don’t be afraid to ask for prayer. People genuinely want to pray for you. Let them.

Team. Do not try to walk through your fears, or life for that matter, by yourself. We were not created to do life alone. The Lone Ranger may have been a good tv show/movie, but is a terrible lifestyle choice. During my health journey, my wife and I have surrounded ourselves with an amazing team of people. Team Todd has helped us walk through some of the most difficult days of our lives. People want to help, so let them.

Keep Living. This is much easier said than done. The fears and all the junk life throws at us can become overwhelming. We have all been there. Laura and I made the choice early on in this crazy beautiful journey to keep living. We decided not to just live, but to Thrive. Todd, what does that even mean? Thriving means not letting your current circumstances define you. Thriving means taking a last-minute cruise. Thriving means spending quality time with family and friends. Thriving means stepping outside of your comfort zone. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Don’t allow your fears or your current circumstances to keep you from living a beautiful and blessed life.

Find Purpose. During my crazy beautiful journey, I knew there had to be more than doctors appointments, hospital stays and multiple medications. There just had to be. Finding purpose in this journey allowed me to overcome my fears. During the past 17 years, God has allowed me to use my story to encourage others. To pray for someone going through their own journey. To hold their hand and guide them through the toughest moments of their lives. To walk them through their fears. So what is your purpose?

Does doing these four things guarantee you will no longer deal with fear? Unfortunately no. After all these years, I still deal with fear at times. But I do not live in fear. Fear does not control me. The power of Prayer/Faith, Team, Thriving and Purpose help me let go of any fears that come my way. Faith>Fear. ~OC

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Love Over Hate

Hate can be easy. Hating someone or something, means you don’t have to learn about what you hate. You don’t worry about finding the truth. Hating is an excuse not to deal with your feelings. Also hate is easy to find. Just turn on the news. Turn on your computer or phone. Go outside. Take a look at our so called political leaders. There is enough hate to go around. But I believe hate is also tiring. Lonely. Have you ever watched a racist on tv? They all look mad, tired and lonely. Why would anyone choose to hate? It definitely does not look healthy.

Love can be hard. It takes time. It takes the choice to actually listen to other opinions. Not to close down when someone challenges your beliefs. Love means you have to be willing to forgive others. Even when your right. Love means that sometimes people will take advantage of you. Your heart might get broken. More than once. Why would anyone choose love?

Even though love can be hard, it is always the right choice. Love brings out the best in people. Love allows strangers to speak up for each other. Love allows us to look past our differences. Love challenges us to be the best version of ourselves. Love forces us out of our comfort zones. People who choose love are full of life. Love doesn’t keep score.

I wish, when we opened up the newspaper or turned on the news, the first stories that greeted us would be full of love. When we scrolled down social media, we would smile/laugh more than we would cringe. That would be amazing. Not sure that’s going to happen anytime soon, but this blessed overcomer is always going to choose love. How about you? ~OC

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A Choice

As I scrolled through social media this morning, I was overwhelmed by the choices people make when posting on their pages. It is amazing what people choose to put on their pages. Let’s review some of the post.

The first post I came across was from my friend John. Every Sunday morning, John does a Facebook Live from his bicycle ride. John’s live videos are always positive, challenging and encouraging. I look forward to them every Sunday. My friend could easily spend that time complaining about everything going on in the world. No, my friend John is the type of person who chooses to look at the positives in life. Now that doesn’t mean John goes through life with rose-colored glasses on. No, my friend is well aware of the negative things going on in our world. But he makes the choice to emphasize the positives. The wonderful possibilities life presents. I so appreciate John’s outlook on life.

I wish more people would choose to look at life like my friend John. Sadly, that is not the case. As I left John’s Facebook Live this morning, I scrolled down my social media pages to see so much hate. Now, I know the majority of my social media friends personally and know they do not hate people. But if I did not know them personally and I was just scrolling through their social media pages, I would probably have a different view. Some of the post I read this morning were trying to be funny, but they came across as hateful and mean-spirited. What is concerning about these post, is that these same people will complain about how negative the world has become. Hello, you cannot complain about all the hate if you’re adding to it.

My hope is that this blog post does not come across as judgemental. My hope is that this will encourage everyone to think before they post. I am guilty of not doing that sometimes. I am not telling people to only post about rainbows and unicorns. I believe social media is a great place to share ideas and concerns. But I do believe we should be wise in how we convey our ideas and concerns. ~OC

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Speaking Tour

Hello. Since my wife Laura and I had our book The Blessed Overcomer published this past March, we have been blessed with several opportunities to share our story with an audience. Those engagements have been amazing. We love interacting with an audience. So, we are looking at putting together a Speaking Tour. Laura and I would be honored to share our crazy beautiful journey with your church, schools/university, business or small groups. Did I leave anyone out?

Okay, let me be honest here. Based on Laura’s work schedule, a lot of times you would just get me. I know, I can sense the disappointment. I love sharing our story together and audiences love Laura. Laura has assured me I would be okay flying solo at some of these events. She reminded me, I used to speak to large groups before we wrote our book. Laura has never led me wrong, so I will trust her belief in me.

So, if you or your organization is looking to hear a story about overcoming, endurance, faith and never giving up, feel free to contact us. I have attached a link to a short video of my story, a dear friend created for me. ~OC

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Who Was Mr. Emmett Till?

This week, a lot of Americans heard the name Emmett Till for the first time. The reason Mr. Till’s story came back into the news was because racism is still alive in America. For those who may have missed the story, three Ole Miss University frat boys decided to post a picture of themselves along with their guns beside a monument in honor of Emmett Till. So, who Was Mr. Emmett Till?

Emmett Till was born on July 25, 1941 in Chicago, Illinois. In 1955, he was visiting family in Mississippi. During that visit, Mr. Till was accused of whistling at a white women. Oh, did I mention Mr. Till was a 14-year old African-America boy, being accused of whistling at a white women in Mississippi during the 1950’s? What was the punishment for this so called crime? Mr. Till, a 14-year old boy on vacation was lynched by two white men.

During the 1955 farce of a trial, the two white men accused of this horrific crime Roy Bryant and J.W. Milan were found not guilty by an all white jury. In 1956, the two men acquitted of the crime admitted publicly they had killed Mr. Till, but were protected by double jeopardy. Also decades later Carol Bryant, the white women who had accused Mr. Till of whistling at her admitted she made up the whole story.

Why am I sharing Emmett Till’s story in 2019? Because it is part of our history that should never be forgotten. Even though things have improved in America, we still have a long ways to go. I think the photo of the three white frat boys standing next to Mr. Till’s memorial proves that fact. Or the story of the white woman in North Carolina who defended herself for calling an African-American woman the “N Word.”. That is why I will continue to be a voice against racism.

Emmett Till would have turned 78 this week. What would he have accomplished in life? Maybe he would have become a doctor, lawyer or teacher. Maybe he would be a grandfather today, enjoying his grandchildren. Sadly, Mr. Till never had the opportunity to “Maybe” see any of these things. His young life was taken way too soon based on a lie and hate.

You may have noticed, I referred to Emmett Till has Mr. Till during this blog post even though he was only a child when he was murdered. I did that out of respect for Mr. Till and his family. Oh, how I wish that young 14-year old boy would have had the opportunity to become Mr. Till. ~OC

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