Tag: Choice

Love Our Neighbors…No Exceptions

Today’s a new day! In the age of social media and partisan cable news, one of the most common questions I get as a Christian is how do I stay in relationship with the family member or friend who believes differently than I do? It can be difficult when we are all firing off text and social media post without giving it any thought or even taking a breath. Things can get nasty and personal real quick.

I recommend that each of us get in the habit of never posting a quick reply to another person’s post or text we disagree with. This can be difficult. We so desperately want to share our opinions. If something someone has posted or shared really bothers you, take a day to think about it and then message them. Maybe you need to type something out to get your feelings on screen.  If you’re like me, once you get your feelings out, you realize there is no real need to push send.

Sometimes you may need to adjust the settings on your email or social media to “mute” a certain person’s messages. They don’t have to know you aren’t reading the stuff they are sharing and forwarding to you.  You can spare yourself and them the awkward discussion of why you “unfriended” them.

Other times you may have to take the hard step of “un-friending” someone or maybe just letting that person know you need to communicate with them in other ways besides social media, text or email, because you can’t keep your emotions in check. I’ve had to make this move with some close friends, because what they share or post provokes a reaction in me I don’t like.  I’m pretty sure the stuff I share and post has caused that same kind of reaction in them. I’m definitely sure that what either of has posted has never changed their mind or mine.

Finally, there are those people who share such negative and personal things that it may amount to emotional abuse. In such cases, setting firm boundaries is necessary for your own well-being and health. Loving your neighbor can only happen from a safe distance with some people.

Remember the biggest companies with the smartest minds are working non-stop to keep us glued to our phone, tablet and computer. They make money and lots of it, the longer we keep using their app or watching their channel. The easiest way to keep us making money for them is to keep us outraged. There are genuine things to be outraged about in the world, but few of them are ever changed by a shared social media post, a forwarded email or text.

Sadly, our culture does not reward maintaining relationships with people different from ourselves. It rewards outrage and remaining in your own bubble. Yet, if we are really going to “Love our neighbor. No exceptions.” it has to cut both ways.

Nobody ever said this Christian life would be easy. ~OC

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I Choose…

Today’s a new day!

Even if you look different than me…I will still choose to love you.

Even if you came from a different country…I will still choose to love you.

Even if you worship differently than me…I will still choose to love you.

Even if you speak a different language than me…I will still choose to love you.

Even if you live a different lifestyle than me…I will still choose to love you.

Even if you vote differently than me…I will still choose to love you.

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful journey, I will always choose love over hate. ~OC

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Love Your Neighbor

Today’s a new day! Back in the day, Jesus made both the right and the left mad. The Zealots were mad because they wanted a political revolution, and he made the Pharisees mad because he wasn’t religious enough. The Romans didn’t get him either. I personally believe we’re at a pivotal moment in our history and I think it’s important to stop and get to know and love our neighbors. All of our neighbors. To stop and love those with different opinions. To truly listen first and respectfully speak second. ~OC

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Thoughts on Friendship

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have seen many of my friendships change. More than ever, I have looked for my friends to stand by me and catch me before I fall and break, like Humpty Dumpty.   

But like a “trust-fall” exercise gone wrong – right when you need their safety net the most – a lot of friends aren’t there. And sometimes the fall is hard.

The pain and disappointment of slowly losing friends can be overwhelming. It’s a blindsiding blow that you never see coming.

Since my health journey started way back in 2002, I have been hurt by the unpredictable disappearance of a number of friendships that I truly thought were solid.

As I have walked through this loss, I initially reacted the way most who are rejected and took it personally, adding insult to my health journey.

The following questions have flooded my mind at different times during my health journey:

Was it my fault somehow?

Was it something I did or said, or didn’t do or say?

How did I not see this coming?   

Those questions never had any real answers and just kept me spinning in an unresolved circular loop. That began to shift when I learned that many people dealing with chronic and longtime health issues deal with the very same issues.

I began to realize that many times the friends who left were the very people I believed I could count on the most.

I began to realize the issue was not me, but was those friends. They either lacked compassion, a willingness to be uncomfortable or they just couldn’t handle watching a friend decline day by day and year by year.

I guess I just assumed some friends would always be there for me. I thought wrong.

Maybe they excused themselves by rationalizing that they were “too busy”?

I have had some friends share they don’t want to bother me. That I need my rest. You can only rest for so many hours in a day.

I have friends not think to invite me to some function because “I did not think you would be up for it.” You never know unless you ask.

Other friends have mentioned they just figured my house is always full of company. Not the case.

Or, maybe for some, it’s because they are still able to hold onto the illusion that they maintain a level of control – something I have clearly lost in many ways. No cold, hard reality has come along to shatter that for them yet.

Who really knows why some friends chose to leave.

I have wondered if it’s realistic to think we can really know or count on the staying power of our friends until we encounter and work through adversity together.   

Things that we believe are shared between us – unique connection, loyalty, understanding, tolerance, mutuality, honesty, trust, humor, etc. – are much easier when they are not put to any serious test.

Since there are no friendship vows, I have had to get clear about my boundaries and the friendship qualities that matter the most.  

During this health journey, I have had Christian friends question my faith and asked what sin am I living with? Our one of my favorites, everyone is going to die; you just know what your dying from. Another favorite is “Well you have lasted this long.”

Once I got past the sting of some friendships fading like a sunset, I started focusing on the friends who have stuck around. They are more important than those friends that have chosen to fade away.

Those friends who have decided to run the race with me are like a healing balm that constantly renews my weary spirit. Thank you.

These wonderful souls in my life, show me that there are still many compassionate people out there who truly understand how to be a true friend.

Friendships lost is an experience that I didn’t ask for and didn’t want, yet it woke me up to not settle for anything less than solid, real and caring friendships. ~OC

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Pillars of Truth

Today’s a new day! To my brothers and sisters in the Christian community. I am greatly concerned and disappointed that so many Christians appear so willing to sacrifice the mandates of God to be pillars of truth by trafficking in lies for political gain. Something to think and pray about today. ~OC

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Romans 8

In Romans 8:5-11, we see the difference between a Christian and the non-Christian, or as Paul says, those who set their minds on the Spirit and those who set their minds on the flesh. I think the difference between these two kinds of people, is like the difference between a fake flower and a real flower. The fake flower has no imperfections, it’s perfect in every way, and it does probably look much better than a real flower, though it’s entirely dead and void of all life. The real flower though, has imperfections to it that reflect its own uniqueness. The real flower might even be drooping and losing a few pedals but it’s truly alive. When you give water to the real flower, it’s likely to spring back up and grow healthier and stronger.

Such it is with those in the flesh and those in the Spirit. Those in the flesh might look like they’re thriving and strong, perfect in every way, but they’re dead. While those in the Spirit are fully alive even though they have imperfections and might droop just a little. Day by day the Spirit sees to them, nurturing them with resurrection life until the day they blossom fully at Christ’s return.

Romans 8:5-11, reminds us that we cannot have two masters. We cannot be in Adam and in Christ. We cannot be in the flesh and in the Spirit. We’re either under the hand of sin or walking in the freedom of Christ. It can be a constant battle.

Where are you today? Who or what has power over you today? I pray you’re living in the beautiful peace of God today. And may you be filled with His amazing Spirit. ~OC

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Reconstructing Over Deconstruction

Today’s a new day! I have noticed a lot of articles and conversations about Christians Deconstructing from their faith. It seems to be a hot topic these days. Before I go any further, let me share that I am not deconstructing from my faith. Even though I can definitely understand why many believers are choosing to walk down that road. Have you noticed how some churches and Christians treat people? And the Christian on Christian meanness is unbelievable. It seems like these days if you do not walk and believe in the latest Christian talking points you might just get ostracized or ghosted.

I get it. I have been there. In 2019, after being given only weeks to live, I experienced a beautiful miracle from God. The man given the nickname “The Man Who Refuses to Die,” was given a beautiful gift from God. More time. After that miracle in 2019, I was the flavor of the month among many in the Christian Community. I was asked to speak and pray at churches and different gatherings. People from around the world wanted to hang out with the “Miracle Man.” I do not share this to brag. No, I share this because that part of my life was only for a short season. The “Miracle Man” had the audacity to get really sick again. Not something I wanted or prayed for. But some in the Christian community, decided my declining health issues must be from lack a lack of faith or unresolved sin in my life. Even though many in the Christian community have tried to put that on me and still do today, I never allowed those lies and poor theology get in my heart and mind. So just a few short years after the miracle of 2019, I went from being the flavor of the month to the man many forgot.

If I was ever going to deconstruct, that would have been the time. The same people who invited me to every spiritual gathering and get together, now appeared to have lost my number. Since my health has taken a turn for the worse, I have not heard from many who used to call me brother. Those who were so quick to use my story have chosen to stop walking with the man behind the story.

So, I understand why people walk away from their faith disillusioned. I understand how difficult it is to make sense of your faith when it appears life is falling apart all around you. I understand how difficult it can be to keep your faith in the middle of the storm.

And yet, here I am. My faith is stronger than ever. I have walked through counterfeit churches and Christians and held onto my faith. I have chosen not to deconstruct from my faith; but reconstruct my faith.

What are you talking about? I know, some of you are just learning about deconstruction and I am adding in a new phrase. What is Reconstructed Faith? I may have just created a new phrase.

Reconstructed Faith means God is bigger than any problem we will ever face in life. I believe many Christians put God in a box. We all think we have God figured out until life punches us in the face. But after life knocks you to your knees, you begin to ask more questions. You begin to examine your life and faith a little more closely.

The events I experienced after my miracle in 2019, did not lead me to reconstruct my faith. No, that started years earlier. I am still walking that process out.

As I continue to walk out my faith journey, I realize more and more how important it is to keep my focus on God; not on the Church or other Christians. The Church and Christian Community are filled with flawed individuals. All of us are flawed humans who fail at living God’s ways a lot of the time. But I pray you give both the Church and God’s people a second or third chance. God can and will answer your questions. God can and will heal us from all of the hurt and pain.

Instead of Deconstructing from your faith, allow God to pull you close to Him in the middle of your storm and hold you close. God desires to change us midst of our trials. Even though sometimes it feels easier to walk away from our faith, God desires for us to have an intimate relationship with Him. ~OC

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Walking Through Life

Today’s a new day! Have you ever walked through a season of life that left you pondering why God would allow you to experience the hurt, pain or even discouragement that resulted?
Obviously, there are some challenges we face that were a direct consequence of our choices. But as Christians we will walk through seasons of pain, suffering and hardships. As we read in scripture, pain and suffering will be a part of our lives.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Jesus doesn’t simply say we’ll have seasons of suffering and leave us to figure it out. No, he promises peace and reminds us that he walked through trials and overcame the world.
I personally believe, every trial we walk through has a purpose.

Yes, you read that above sentence correctly. We can find purpose as we walk through the storms of life, Our pain and suffering has a purpose. Let’s look at the life of the Apostle Paul for just a second. He underwent beatings, was shipwrecked and experienced multiple imprisonments. But through all of those trials, Paul recognized something that is absolutely essential for us to remember as believers – our pain and suffering is not meaningless but has a purpose. And not just in some situations, but in all things.

Every individual God used mightily throughout the Bible went through seasons of hardship. Moses had to flee his family who wanted to kill him, Elijah had people seeking his death, Queen Esther risked her life in order to save the Jewish people, Jesus’ disciples were martyred for their commitment to Christ and our Savior was beaten and crucified on the Cross. But scriptures repeatedly speaks about how our suffering never concludes without God’s power working through it in a supernatural way. Our seasons of pain and suffering often set us up to see God’s supernatural working in our lives.

I have experienced this truth in my own life over and over as I have walked through this twenty-two years and counting crazy beautiful health journey. For the past 22 years, I have experienced thousands of hospital visits, have had too many test and surgeries to count and have been told hundreds of times I only had a short time left to live. As I write this morning, doctors are not sure how much longer I have left. But through all of the ups and downs of this journey, God has been right here with me. Some friends may have left during this season of health issues, but God has been my rock. My firm foundation through the sleepless nights and the painful days. There has never been a day that God’s supernatural power has not been at work in my life.

But this journey has not been a run in the park. I am sure you can relate as you think about some of the difficult seasons in your life. Maybe you’re walking through one now. Our minds can be filled with the following questions mind such as: Does God hear me? Can I still be used by God? How long will I have to suffer? Where do I go from here?

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, God has helped me through the pain, discouragement and loss. God has taught me so many amazing lessons on this journey. I have grown in so many ways. I am a stronger person because of this health journey.

So regardless of what trial you’re walking through today or what challenges lay ahead, here are some lessons I have learned during my health journey.

1). Bring your pain and suffering to God. Do not run from Him.
When we choose to run from God in seasons of challenge, all we’re left with is our own very limited ability to cope with what we’re walking through. On the flip side, when we run to God he invites us to draw near to him that we might experience his peace, comfort, healing, and closeness. This is what Psalm 34:18 points to:

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

Nowhere in scripture do we read that we should suppress our pain, but instead, shows us where to direct it, like in Psalm 147:3:

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” 

During my health journey, I have needed a skilled surgeon to address multiple issues in my body. Those surgeons needed to remove or repair something so I could heal. Like our need for a surgeon to address physical wounds to our body, God desires to conduct divine surgery on our soul which results in supernatural healing despite how difficult the challenge.
When we bring our pain and suffering to God we recognize that there is a purpose and in time the One who loves us unconditionally will reveal his divine purpose through it.

2). We need to fill our lives with God’s Word and good people. The way we respond to challenging seasons is critical to how we process what’s happening and how healing will take place. If we treat physical sickness with the wrong medication, not only will the sickness continue, but it could become much worse. As I have run this health race, I have found surrounding myself with God’s word and with people who speak hope and encouragement into my life, I experience more peace. When we fill our life with negative thoughts and people, we will struggle to experience the peace of God he promises to us in Philippians 4:7:

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

So as you walk through this season of trials, I encourage you to fill your life with God’s word and with people who speak hope, truth and encouragement into your life.

3). Do not let your life be filled with worry. Instead allow praise, worship and gratitude to flow from your life. Something beautiful happens when we actively choose to worship through our suffering. We are not denying our reality, but we are making the choice to redirect our thinking from one of worry to one of worship. Worship can change our perspective. Worship speaks about where our confidence and hope resides. Worship redirects our thinking. Worship places the results in God’s hands. Not ours or the doctors. Whether our pain is the result of health issues, relationship challenges or financial struggle, when we begin to worship the Lord through our struggles, spiritual chains begin to break so that we are not ruled by our circumstance but we set our sights on something higher. Something bigger than ourselves and problems. In the Bible, we read about Paul and Silas praising God while chained and imprisoned. They could praise God because they recognized He was using their imprisonment to help spread the gospel.

4). We must choose to believe that God will turn our pain and sorrow into great joy. One of the paradoxes of Christianity is that God uses our pain for our good. Meaning our biggest trial can result in our greatest triumphs. When you think about Jesus’ greatest sorrow, suffering the shame, punishment, and death for our sins on the Cross, the result was great joy. His death on the cross provided us with hope, joy and the opportunity for eternal life.

As I reflect on my health journey, I do not get caught up in what I have lost along the way. No, I chose to look how God has used my story to strengthen and encourage others walking through their own season of trials. That gives me hope and strength to continue running this crazy beautiful health journey. ~OC

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Not Political

Good morning. Sorry this is a little long, but I wanted to share.

Today’s a new day! We are walking through what will be my least favorite part of 2024. The upcoming election.

Can I be honest for a minute? For me, the past few election cycles have felt like being the child in the middle of a brutal custody battle between two scorned parents. Just my opinion.

How many social media posts have you seen the past few years that went something along the lines of “If you vote for ‘insert candidate of choice here’ go ahead and unfriend me?” Or “If you believe ‘insert single issue belief here’ go ahead and unfriend me?” I have friends and family – people I love and respect – on both sides of the political aisle, and what makes this ongoing disunity even more difficult to watch is that a lot of these people profess to be followers of Jesus.

I have seen the religious vote (and the moral high ground) claimed by both the right and left. People from each political party claiming Jesus teachings as their own. But let me share some truth with you. No political party or politician has the market cornered on Christian beliefs. Despite religious rhetoric or faith-based endorsements, both the Republican, Democratic and Independent parties fall painfully short of the gospel.

And why shouldn’t they? All political parties are flawed organizations that are not tasked with carrying out the gospel. And therein lies the problem: too many people’s identities have become more wrapped up in their political affiliation than in their identity in Jesus.

As this election year heats up, I have heard people from both sides of the political aisle scream “You cannot be a Christian if you support this candidate or that candidate. “You cannot truly be a Christian if you vote for or against a certain amendment.

These statements and those like them should not be spoken from the pulpit or shared on social media. Because Jesus is not a Republican, Democrat or an Independent. Sorry to burst your bubble. Our salvation does not depend on a political party or who you vote for. Our salvation depends solely on Jesus. We cannot vote our way into (or out of) the Kingdom of Heaven. Since our salvation is not dependent on any political stance, that means that our beliefs on education, healthcare, immigration, LGBT rights, or any other hot topic issue does not make or break our identity in Christ. What Jesus did for us on the Cross is so much bigger than a political party, candidate or how we vote.

We are living in dangerous times when a group of people decide their worldview is the only legitimate Christian view. It makes me remember the Pharisees and religious leaders from the Bible who expected Jesus to come and overthrow Rome, and to show them that their way was the only true way. But Jesus never did that. If you truly study scripture, He often did the exact opposite to the dismay of the religious leaders.

As I study the Bible, I read scripture after scripture that commands us to love our enemies. That seems easy enough because we think we do not have any enemies. Right? But what about that person you stopped talking to because their political views did not match yours? What about that friend you unfriended because they support something you’re against? Let’s be honest, in this time of division we all need to check our hearts.

As Christians we talk a lot about winning souls for Jesus. To bring a little bit of Heaven to earth. But are we truly doing that? According to Jesus, the Kingdom he talked about was not about a political party. The Kingdom of God isn’t something we simply hope for when we die – It is something we are to make here on earth as it is in heaven. We are called to unite with other believers (even if we disagree with them) to help bring together a world that is divided, hateful and honestly a complete mess right now. As Christians we must realize that the Kingdom of God will never be fully realized through worldly governments and politicians. It will only be realized through the radical life changing love of Jesus.

We have been sold fear for so long, that we are afraid of anyone that is ‘other’ than us. For some, their identities have become so wrapped up in political parties that they have dehumanized those across the political aisle. But as I study scripture, I read that as Christians we are suppose to be the ones that welcome EVERYONE to the table. As believers we can no longer hide behind a computer or claim working for unity and what is right is too hard. We have to take a seat at the table and have constructive discussions with everyone. ~OC

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A Commandment

Today’s a new day! If we want to truly follow God, we must be committed to justice, because He is. When I study scripture, I see commands for us to speak out boldly against injustice. But sadly, many Churches and Christian today are speaking out against those who speak out against the issues of the day. I have personally been called “Woke” because I care about and speak out against the injustices I see. Just a side note to the Christian community woke is not a bad four letter word that so many in the Church community have made it. We can have a separate conversation about that topic. So when someone calls me “Woke”, I wear that label with honor. Okay, let me get back on track here. Social justice should be part of our Christian faith, not something to run from.

Let’s take a look back at some amazing people who wore the badge of social justice with honor. Fellow Christians like John Newton (who gave us one of my favorite hymns (“Amazing Grace”), William Wilberforce, Harriet Tubman, Mother Teresa and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and others who considered it their Christian duty to fight against injustice. As Christians, we must be willing to continue carrying the torch of justice. We cannot live in a world where everyone doesn’t have access to a better life based on their religious beliefs, economic situation, cultural background, skin color or sexual orientation.

Today, the stakes could not be higher. Cities across America are struggling with despair and broken systems that tragically limit the human potential within them. Affordable housing is almost a thing of the past. Substandard education, unjust laws, crime and fatherlessness are all at epidemic levels. Our cities are full of beautiful people with amazing gifts and immeasurable worth, but we’ve allowed oppression to mask their talents and contributions. But by living out the scriptures and truly being the hands and feet of Jesus we can find ways to empower the marginalized, enhance their lives and offer them a safe place to thrive and live out their dreams.

Followers of Christ must be willing to challenge the divide that exists in this world and travel to and through Samaria (John 4:4). We have to be willing to engage with everyone Jesus brings our way. This is not a suggestion; it’s a command.

The scriptures teach us that the way we treat the hurting and marginalized is a direct reflection of how we treat Jesus. It’s also an indication of whether we are truly following Him (Matthew 25:31-46). The scriptures also teach that we should pray and act to bring God’s system of justice to bear wherever we live- “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:9-11). As Christians we cannot ignore these mandate. If we pick and choose which commands to follow we are failing to live out everything Jesus commanded. ~OC

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