Tag: Family

Life Takes A Village

Today’s a new day! As the holidays are just a few days away, I encourage everyone to not forget about those loved ones going through loss this season. Whether the loss of a loved one happened a few days ago or decades ago, the pain is still real. Going through the grieving process can be a very dark and difficult time for a person. However, it is also hard for the loved ones of this individual. Family members and friends often struggle to find the best ways to be supportive. Plus, the holiday season can make this process that much more challenging.

If you are the loved one of a grieving individual, understanding the stages in this process is an important place to start, but there are also many genuine things you can do to show your love and help.

Reach out to them. Most grieving people find it hard to take initiative and reach out to others. You can help by doing this for them. Stay connected with them via visits, phone calls, text, email or video chat. Make sure you are still checking in on them in the months following their loss, when fewer people are doing so.

Find ways to help. Come up with specific tasks you can assist with. Volunteer to drop off pre-made dinners so they don’t have to worry about cooking. Check and see if you can run errands for them. See if there is any house or yard work they need assistance with. Maybe they just need you to sit with them.

Don’t be afraid to say their name.To share stories. Those grieving can be concerned that their loved one will be forgotten by others. Therefore, don’t be afraid to mention the loved one’s name and to share stories about the person. Those stories may bring some tears, but they could also bring some much needed laughs.

This holiday season will be tough for many this year, so take the time to reach out to them and let them know you care. Life takes a village. ~OC

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True Meaning of Christmas

Today’s a new day! As we celebrate this Christmas season, I wanted to share my thoughts on the true meaning of Christmas.

For me and many Christians, Jesus is the reason for the season and my family and friends mean the world to me and are a beautiful blessing. With all the shopping, parties and trying to have the perfect Christmas, so many people lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. Isn’t it supposed to be shared with those you love most? Isn’t our presence supposed to be more valuable than presents? What happened along the way to constantly change people’s perspective? Aren’t we supposed to be remembering the most famous story in the Bible of Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem and the Angel visiting them in the manger telling them not to be afraid of the Angel’s presence? We are supposed to be surrounded with our loved ones, attend Christmas service and gather around tables eating together and sharing holiday memories with loved ones.

If only people could really understand the true meaning of Christmas and not be so infatuated with the gifts, lights, shopping deals and trying to spend the most money to impress people. Gifts fade and become meaningless, time passes, people forget what you purchased them and we tend to glorify the wrong things and situations. While receiving gifts is fun and rewarding in the short term, actually caring for and spending time with the people we love is a lot more important. Being together with loved ones and sharing time together is what this Christmas season is all about. Giving back to our community is what we should be looking forward to and trying to help those in need. Saying a prayer for someone hurting this holiday is a good start if you cannot afford to buy anything monetarily.

I know the holidays are difficult for people who have lost loved ones during this time of year, or might be going through a difficult season in life. However, we cannot allow these negative situations to hold us back from receiving Jesus’s love for us and spreading holiday cheer. Do not allow your current or past circumstances cloud your future happiness and the joy of this season. Make the choice to live with a grateful heart for the small things in life and try not to dwell too much on the past. Spend some time reflecting on 2024 and look forward to all that God has for you in 2025. Take some time to count your blessings.

The true meaning of Christmas is what you make of it and not all the fancy gifts that sit under trees and will be forgotten as years pass. Go out and make new memories with your family and friends that will last a lifetime. I promise you – time spent together with loved ones is better than money well spent on items that have a lot less meaning to them. Merry Christmas to you all and blessings for the New Year. ~OC

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Let’s Talk

Today’s a new day! This morning I want to discuss a tough issue for many in the Christian community. Mental Health. Unfortunately, many believers have made it difficult for those dealing with mental health issues to share and get the help they need.

Mental health issues can still be a highly stigmatized topic in the church. Although many Believers know the trials of occasional anxiety or having the blues, people with a diagnosed mental illness face unique challenges. Some are confronted by Christians who espouse false doctrine that health issues are a sign of unresolved sin or lack of faith. This is a Big Lie!

I want to encourage anyone dealing with mental health issues or any health issue to get the necessary medical care they need. There is nothing wrong with taking medications, having a therapist and loving Jesus all at the same time. There should be no shame or condemnation.

The same biblical truths that have encouraged Christians for centuries can encourage those who suffer with mental health today. I pray those walking through the trials of mental health will cling to these words of encouragement.

1. You Are Not Alone

God’s people have suffered—mentally, emotionally, and physically—since the fall in the garden. Even Jesus cried out in despair on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46), When we suffer, we are never alone. Never be afraid to reach out for help. Speaking openly about your mental health issues allows those around you to share their own struggles. This allows us all to come together and care for one another.

2). Stop Blaming Yourself. Stop listening to those who may try to put a spiritual guilt trip on you. Mental health issues are not a punishment for sin or lack of faith. As you walk through this journey, I encourage you to keep your eyes on God. He has some amazing plans for your life. Keep leaning into His beautiful promises.

3). Remember, God sees you, loves you and is always with you. Thankfully, we have a wonderful Savior who experiences emotions. As you walk through the effects of mental illness, remember the nearness of Christ. He weeps with you. God knows how He is going to work in and through each of our lives and is with us in the midst of all of our trials. By the amazing grace of God, he sent the Holy Spirit, our comforter and counselor, to be with us , to help us through every moment of life. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us (Romans 8:27). He is there for us when we do not have the words.

4). God’s Word Speaks to us (Romans 15:4).

The word of God isn’t afraid to talk about mental and emotional issues.

Keep the truth of God’s words close. Share them with a close friend, family member, or accountability partner who can remind you when you forget or when you do not have the energy or willpower to remind yourself.

The truth is some will deal with mental health issues for a lifetime. But remember, we can all rejoice in the greatness and sovereignty of our loving Savior. I pray that God will make known his love and strength in all of our struggles. ~OC

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Memories

Sitting back reflecting on the chapters of my life

Wondering where all the time went

I can’t believe all the memories and blessings God has given me over the years

The chapters of my life come flooding back

I keep those memories close

It seems like some happened yesterday, but 40 years have passed But those memories with friends from the 80’s stay in my heart

still so fresh in my mind

and I will keep them close as always

Memories from my past are memories forever

Today’s memories may be a little harder to recall,

but those memories from the past stay in my heart and mind forever

Those beautiful memories will never fade

In God’s hands a lifetime of memories is not too long

To keep those memories in my mind

Living in hope, I would love to add another chapter or two to my collection of beautiful memories, for when that day comes that memories are all I have

I will hold the memories of our love close. Memories from today may be a little harder to recall, but those memories of saying “I do” back in ‘99 will stay fresh in my mind

It won’t even seem I’ve gone. You’ll still be a beautiful memory in my mind

‘Cause our love is bigger than any disease

We will hold onto the love that keeps us strong

Memories from my past are memories forever

Today’s memories may be a little harder to recall,

but those memories from yesterday’s past stay in my heart and never fade

They stay forever in my mind

In God’s hands a lifetime of memories, is not too long

To keep those memories in my mind

Memories with family and friends

Are memories forever

I will hold them close

Never forgetting the laughter and joy

The memories made so long ago

Will be what I take when the days begin to fade

Memories from my past are memories forever

Today’s memories may be a little harder to recall,

but those memories from yesterday’s past stay in my heart and never fade

They stay forever in my mind

In God’s hands a lifetime of memories is not too long

To keep those memories in my mind

Though it’s hard to recall moments from today

In the Father’s hands I know

That a lifetime’s not too long

To keep those beautiful old memories fresh in my mind. ~OC

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Grateful

Today’s a new day! I’m grateful this morning for another day to breathe, to think and make more memories with my bride, friends and family.

I’m grateful for my cup of ice tea and a cool breeze on our balcony.

I am grateful for the anticipation of this new day.

I am grateful to be living in peace.

I’m grateful to still be alive, now, in this place and at this time.  I’m ever-thankful for the extra time God has given me.

I am grateful for the freedom to write in my hometown and to write whatever, however, whenever I please.

I am grateful for the amazing people God has brought my way on this crazy beautiful health journey. Thankful to have met so many creative and loving people over the past twenty-two years.

I am grateful for the friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.

I am thankful that my gratitude stretches around the world with all the people who have walked this journey with me through this blog and my other social media pages.

I am grateful to live in love, hope and peace and cherish this day that the Lord has given me. ~OC

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Thankfulness While Grieving

Today’s a new day! Today is also Thanksgiving Day. I have many things to be thankful for, but I am also grieving the death of a loved one. This has been a hard week.

It can be difficult to be thankful when you’re in a season of grieving. When you experience the loss of a loved one you begin to wonder if you will ever feel happy again. It is hard to be thankful when you are hurting. The Bible is not silent on the issue of suffering. The Bible is full of scriptures and stories about suffering.

Giving thanks to God during times of grief is difficult, but not impossible. In fact, it is one of the best ways of progressing towards hope while you are grieving. How can you be thankful during times of grief? I believe Remembering , Reflecting , and Rejoicing can guide us through a season of loss and grief.

First, take time to remember. Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. Do not doubt in the darkness what you have clearly seen in the light. One of the results of the grieving process is that our minds become absorbed with that one thing. It is so important that you force yourself to remember key foundational truths about God. Remember that He loves you. Remember that He is in control. Remember that He is always working good; even in the bad circumstances. While grieving, you may not want to hear someone quote Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” But, remember that it is true. 

Second, take time to reflect. Reflect on your current situation, but do not dwell on it. What’s the difference between reflecting and dwelling? Think of it like a house. When you dwell in a house you live in it. Dwelling on the cause of your grief is like going back to the situation and living there as you relive it over and over. When you reflect, you think deeply and carefully about something. Going back to the house illustration, rather than dwelling in the house, you sit outside the house and look in. Reflecting is different because it gives you time to grieve and realize that your life has changed and there will be a new reality moving forward.

Remember, there is no set timeframe for you to stop grieving. Please hear that. Grief has no timeline. In one sense, you will never stop grieving until you are given your new body and dwelling with God in Heaven. The purpose in grieving well is not to stop grieving, but to begin grieving with hope.

When we are grieving we are overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions are powerful and have great control over us, so we are told in the Bible to take control of them. We do this by guarding our heart. Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” The heart is the essence of who we are. It is more than just emotions. It is the command center of your life. It directs our emotions.

Through grief and mourning we must remember to guard our hearts.

Third, take time to rejoice. In the middle of your mourning, allow your heart and mind to remember some of the beautiful moments and memories. That can be difficult in the midst of a loss or a difficult season in life. But the fact that God has brought us this new day means that we can rejoice and be glad in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. This verse does not teach us that every circumstance is good, but that God is good. This is not always easy, but we must continue to lean into this truth.

So today take some time to Remember, Reflect, Rejoice

*Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. 

*Reflect and give yourself time to grieve. Guard your heart so that you do not believe lies but trust God.

*Rejoice in the Lord who is powerfully and purposefully at work.

If you are grieving, trust God. Consider the story of Martha from John 11. Martha had just lost her brother and was grieving. When she saw Jesus she said to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). Martha then said something very profound. Martha said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You” (John 11:22). Martha serves as an example of a godly person hurting yet trusting. So today, allow God to help you give thanks in all circumstances on this Thanksgiving Day. ~OC

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To Live Together in Peace

Today’s a new day! As I study scripture, I continuously see we are given direction and guidance to live together in peace. But in order to do so, we must value and care for one another, be humble, seek to understand each other, be compassionate, and treat others respectfully. It does not mean that everyone has to be our best friend, but at the end of the day, we should treat others as we want to be treated. Like-mindedness does not mean we need to walk around with the same thoughts and beliefs on all things, but instead it means we ought to share the common purpose of love and care for each other. As a world, it feels as if we have lost sight of this. Too often, people are so caught up in the value of their own opinion, agenda and being right, that the humility and humanity necessary to love one another is lost.

Thankfully, my days are spent encouraging others through conversations, zoom meetings and writing. I try to use social media and personal interactions to find out what binds us together and less about what divides us. I try to have conversations with people who look, act, believe and speak differently than me.

Though we come from different places, life experiences and beliefs systems, our ultimate purpose should be to try and make a better world for all to live. Obviously, we live in a imperfect world filled with imperfect people, but the more we seek to understand, extend compassion, and treat others as friends, the better we work together to bring change that makes life better for all.

I will continue to seek God for guidance and direction as to how to best live together in peace and love with those around me.

Peace will be present

when we all decide to

treat people with respect and love

Love is forgiving

It’s gracious and kind

humble and listens

keeps others in mind

Seek to understand

by listening first

speaking to learn and discover

the best in people, not the worst

Dear God, teach us to walk in love and compassion each new day.

Dear God, thank You that You love us so much that You call us and guide us to live in peace and harmony together with each other. Thank You that You show us what is good, and what is required to know Your peace. Forgive us for the times that we have lacked compassion or failed to listen. Teach us to extend grace in such a way that all feel heard and appreciated. Be glorified O God, as we seek You to lead us in Your love and to live together in peace as one human race. Amen ~OC

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Dear…,

Today’s a new day!

Dear……,

I want you to know, first and foremost, how special you are. Those are not words to make you feel better. Whether you realize it or not, your life matters.

I want you to know how you light up the world with your smile when you show it off. So please, show it off more. You use more of your face muscles when you smile, so stretch it out so wide that it hurts and remember when you grow old and see wrinkles around your mouth that you got them from smiling.

I know people are trying to reach out to you to tell you that everything is going to be alright and that they’re there for you. Please – and I cannot stress this enough – do not push them away or shut them out. You may not want to hear it, but those family members, friends, and coworkers are there for you and would do anything to help.

So, give them a chance even when you don’t think they’ll understand your pain. You’ll never know if you do not let them in. You’re feeling alone right now. So alone that you don’t think anyone can see all the pain you’re going through.

I want you to know I see you, okay? I can see the pain written all over your face because I know the look of someone trying so hard to pretend like they’re alright when they’re crumbling on the inside. You’re not alone, you have people in your life, and even people you didn’t see coming, who are more than willing to reach out and be there for you.

I know you feel like you cannot get through this current storm. I know it seems like your world is crumbling all around and you cannot find the strength to get back up. Your days are spent isolated in your house, and you cannot eat, sleep or find the strength to move from the comfort and safety of your bed. You have lost the ambition to go outside and breathe in the fresh air. Can I share a little truth with you? I have been where you’re at. I did a pretty good job hiding it, so most people even those closest to me didn’t even notice it. Some days I was barely holding on.

So, I encourage you to hang in there. You’re important to this world and have so much talent and so many amazing ideas to give. You have a light inside you that lights up the world. So keep holding on.

Please, continue to take one day at a time. Keep leaning into the loving arms and promises of God. It’s so easy to want all the answers right this moment, but this life is not a 30 minute tv show. I would love to give you a quick fix, but that could possibly rob you of some amazing lessons God is trying to teach you in this moment. But I can promise you this. We will get through this together. Keep holding on. ~OC

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