Tag: Family

Dear Dementia,

Today’s a new day! As most of you know, I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia caused by Parkinson’s last September (2024). As I have walked through the past few months, I have thought about this diagnosis and what it means for my future. So I thought I would write a letter to dementia. Hopefully it makes sense.

Dear Dementia, I often wonder if you were a person, what would I say to you? So often dementia tries to fill me with anger, sadness and frustration. But thankfully, I am able to fight off those emotions most days. But some days all those emotions get the best of me.

I think I’ll start with I am a little frustrated with you dementia. I dislike that you’ve made sharing my thoughts and having conversations a little tougher these days. I am a little frustrated that being social has become a bit more difficult for me. Since I am in the early stages of dementia, I have learned a few tricks to hide my struggles from people. But I cannot hide those struggles from myself and that makes me frustrated at times.

I am frustrated that you try and fill my days with grief, loneliness and sadness. I am saddened that some friends find it too difficult to call or visit because they do not know what to say. I am frustrated that you’re trying to take away my memories too, with you being all consuming; you sometimes make it hard to remember how things were before you.

But dementia despite all the frustration sadness and grief, I still choose to live with hope and embrace every moment of life. My bride and I still talk about future plans and trips. We will not allow you to become our identity. We celebrate those days I feel like my old self. Almost like the fog has been lifted. I embrace those days because they will not always be around. I embrace simple moments with family and friends a little more these days. I am thankful for those friends who still choose to treat me like me. Please keep doing that. Even on those days, I might not totally seem like the old me.

I am thankful that God continues to walk this journey with me. He is bigger than dementia and all the other health issues trying to take me out. They may get the best of me some days, but they will not get the victory. No, that belongs to God and I will continue to hold onto that truth.

Dear Dementia, in some ways you have taught me the true value of unconditional love, and I will use that to defeat you. I will never give up on loving my life, loving those in my life and never ever give up on beating you. You’ve brought pain and suffering to so many people’s lives, snuck in and attacked the most vulnerable. But by working with medical researchers and families affected by your cruel actions we will learn new ways to defeat you. One day I will be part of ending you, as you will never be able to take away the unconditional love that fills me up and guides me along this crazy beautiful health journey. ~OC

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Dear Friend,

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2019. Sorry it’s a little long. ~OC

Dear Friends,

Several people have reached out to me who are dealing with their own crazy beautiful health journey. So I thought I would share some words that will hopefully bring some encouragement. In the last couple of weeks, my doctors have shared I probably only have months to live. I say this to you, not to discourage you, but to let you know that I am in the trenches with you. These words don’t come from distant memories but from present realities.

The following is a “Battle Plan” of how I am walking through this battle.

1. Recognizing that most of our battles are waged in the mind, I chose to focus on God who is all-powerful and compassionate. The Bible tells us that God’s Name is El Elyon, God Most High, and that nothing can come into our lives that is not first filtered through the fingers of God’s love. God knew before the foundation of the world that we would face different challenges in life and has already provided the resources we need to face them. God’s plan for us in every trial of every size is that we experience victory, never defeat.

2. I chose to view this illness as a gift. Granted, it’s like expecting a new ten-speed bike for Christmas and getting socks, but it is a gift. It is a time to draw near to God, to experience God more fully, to enjoy the simple joys of life, to focus on those things that are truly important. I will thank God every day for this particular gift of health issues.

3. Although my health issues wants to be an all-consuming issue in my life, I refuse to sink within myself. I will reach out to someone else each day with a text, phone call, word of encouragement, act of service or prayer.

4. I will not ignore my emotions (which are currently like a roller coaster on steroids) I will allow myself to experience all the emotions this health journey brings my way, but I will NOT be ruled by them.

5. I will share what is happening to me with others and enlist their support and prayers. I cannot do this alone, and I will not rob others of the blessing they can receive in ministering to me.

6. I will make both short-term and long-term goals in order to have something in the future to look forward to. For example, I plan on continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride through trips and other amazing adventures.

7. I will find some reason to laugh every day.

8. I will remind myself that, in some inexplicable way, the manner in which I conduct myself during this time of struggle does, indeed, impact the spiritual world. The book of Job tells us that humans sometimes get caught up in a cosmic battle between God and Satan, and my actions are key to that struggle. (Jesus Himself told His disciples upon their completion of a missionary journey that God had seen Satan fall from heaven as a result of their actions).

9. I will endeavor to keep my life as “normal” as possible. I will continue my every-day activities and responsibilities as long as I am physically able. This will afford me the comfort of the predictable and common aspects of life as well as helping me not to slide into introspection and self-pity.

Dear friend, who is walking through your own battle, I am praying for you. I am asking that you will be “sincere and blameless” (Philippians 1:10). The word “sincere” is a Greek word that grew out of a poor practice in the marketplace of the day. Everyone in the culture used pottery for many tasks like we use plastic today. It was important that the pots be well made. Most were, but there were some unscrupulous pottery makers who would find a pot with cracks in it. Rather than discarding it, they would fill the crack with wax to cover it up. This would work as long as the pot sold early in the day. But after a longer time of sitting out in the hot Middle Eastern sun, the wax would melt and the cracks would show. Paul prayed that the Philippians would avoid this by being sincere or “sun-tested.” May you, as you face the heat and pressures of this time, find yourself to be, by His grace, without wax.

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Not Your Enemy

Today’s a new day! You may consider me your enemy. But I am not your enemy. I do not hate you. I do not wish you harm. I do not foster harmful designs against you.

At the same time, we may not be able to be friends. If you deny people the right to have their own opinions, to freely share their opinions, attack them when they do, you may not be a safe person for my friends, family or myself to be around and we may not be able to be friends. If you want to deny people the right to freely worship in their own way, you may not be a safe person for my friends, family or myself to be around. We may not be able to be friends. If you want to share hate and spread lies, we may not be able to be friends. I could go on, but hopefully you get the point. These statements do not mean that I wish harm to you. And this doesn’t necessarily mean we can never talk over a meal. If you are willing to engage in good faith, we can try and we will see how things go. We may be able to be acquaintances and perhaps even friendly, but it will take a lot of time and effort before it’s possible for us to be friends.

Even though we may not be able to be friends, I am not your enemy. And so know that If you are hungry or in need, I will do my best to help you find food and have your needs met. I will work for a society where you have access to affordable health care, and a job that pays a living wage. I want you to have access to a good education, and to clean water and air. I want you to have freedom of religion and speech. I want you to read the books you want to read. I do not want you unjustly detained or imprisoned. I do not want you to be harassed when you walk down the street or go into a store. I want you to be able to flourish. I do not wish you harm. I am not your enemy.

If you can manage to not do harm to the people I love and care about; if you can work for these same things for the people I care about, we can begin a relationship. We do not need to agree on exactly how we solve our society’s problems, but we need to be able to speak with respect and kindness. Because I am not your enemy. ~OC

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A Thursday Prayer

Good Morning! A Thursday prayer for my friends:

Dear God, I lift up my friends to you. I pray you would give their hearts rest in the things that are weighing heavy on their lives this morning. I pray you would open their eyes to see how amazing they are and how much they mean to the people that love them.

I pray you would bless their families, their homes, that their households would flourish and that they would have more than enough to meet all of their needs.

I pray you would bless them in their pursuit of their hopes and dreams and that you would open doors that they need opened to get there.

I pray you would bless their relationships: their friendships, their marriages, their connections with their kids and their family members.

I pray you would cover my friends with your presence and your peace, that you would draw them close to you and that they would feel your love.

I am so thankful for each of them oh Lord. Thank you for bringing them into my life. My heart is full. ~Amen

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Truth and Justice

I remember when Russia invaded Ukraine in 2022, so many people including Christians and churches in America were so supportive of Ukraine and everything the citizens of the country were going through. Many Americans and churches held fundraisers and welcomed the Ukrainian people into America who had to flee their homeland. Fast forward to yesterday and the comments from the current President and now so many of those same people are turning their backs on Ukraine. Sadly, this is just another example of how the actions of so many Christians and churches across America are causing a great multitude of believers and unbelievers to turn their backs on the church and faith. I can only imagine the tears filling God’s eyes as he watches all of this transpire. I personally will continue to pray for peace and healing over the people of Ukraine. I will also continue to pray for my fellow believers and churches in American that appear so willing to compromise so much for the sake of power.

Once again, these are my thoughts and opinions. Some may asked why I share the things I do on social media? Yes, they can be hard to read and many people would rather I just share positive and uplifting post. I hear many friends tell me to “Stay away from the negative and challenging post. Just stick with sharing your story and uplifting post.” But I am sharing my story. I believe in truth and justice. That is who I am. So when I see things that are unjust and wrong, I must speak up. I do not enjoy posting things like this on my pages, but I have to be honest with myself and I cannot ignore everything that’s going on around me. Even if that means being attacked or unfriended. So, I will continue to share when I feel God leading me to share my thoughts online. I hope you will to. Even if we have different opinions. Let Love Rule. ~OC

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A Difference of Opinion

Today’s a new day! On occasion, I post things that some people disagree with. There are times some of my friends post things I do not agree with. Guess what? It’s okay.

If we could only accept one another in all the different views and opinions that are out there, what a different place this world would be.

We all have an opinion. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with stating our opinion. What is bad is when we expect everyone else to go along with our opinion.

That is when all kinds of arguing and hard feelings can happen.

We are all free to have our opinions yet we should accept the fact that not everyone will agree. Keep in mind our opinions may not be right and our opinions may change over time.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion and being free to state their opinion, but remember it is only one opinion. We should not expect everyone to go along and we should not get mad when others have differing opinions.

Accept one another and the unique ways God created us. Love and accept those who see things differently. That does not always mean we agree or condone what others do, but we are not going to always agree on everything anyway.

As we read God’s word in the Bible, we are instructed to love and serve others. To live a life where God is glorified.

We should not spend so much time worrying that others see things differently than us on certain topics. We should not get mad and fight and argue trying to convince people to see things our way.

As a follower of Christ , I follow him the way feel I believe he is leading me. Did you catch that? The way He is leading me. Not the way He might be leading you or someone else. If you happen not to believe in God, or follow another faith or do not believe in a god at all, follow your heart and do not try to force your views on others.

I believe God is big enough to work in each of us as He sees best. Rather than worry about forcing our opinions and views on others, accept the fact that we are all different. Love others and respect one another despite those differences. What a wonderful world that would be. ~OC

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Dear Christian,

Hello again. I am loving going through old journals and finding these writings that I have entitled “The Lost Letters of OC.” I wrote this back in 2019.

Dear Christian Brothers and Sisters,

I have wanted to write this letter for a long time, but I wasn’t sure it would do any good. Like you, I’m on my own journey.

I have been frustrated because it feels like Christians have stopped listening to the needs of others, unless it fits their agenda. Do you really care what non- Christians or people from other faiths really think or care about ? Do you truly care about your neighbor or coworker that feels like their life is filled with roadblocks? How about the neighbor who is struggling to just pay their bills? How about that neighbor who votes differently than you?

You talk about truth and the Bible in such a way that it seems like you’re shoving your faith down people’s throats. You often judge those around you. What you believe in appears more important than what the scriptures have to say. You make living out the Christian faith seem like an impossible task. I doubt anyone including other Christians could ever measure up to your standards.

To be honest, your religion seems to make you angry all the time. It’s a real downer when you continuously point out everything you find to be wrong in this world. You seem so against everything, it’s hard to believe you could really have anyone’s best interest in mind. Your complaints don’t exactly inspire anyone to give their life to Christ.

Dear Christians, stop rolling out this angry type of religion, and ask that neighbor or coworker about their life. People want to know you truly care about them. People are looking for Christians to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Life is tough. Some people are feeling empty and lonely. They’re feeling excluded by a group of people who should be making them feel loved and welcomed. So when you say, “Jesus is the answer,” your words ring hollow. People do not want to want hang around people who are always judging them or trying to set them straight.

What people really want to know is if you care about them as a human being. They need real friends who stand by them when they’re alone, afraid, or hurt. If you want to influence people, just act like a decent, kind and caring person.

Your Brother in Christ,

~OC

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Just Imagine

Good Morning ! Here is another “Lost Writings from OC” from 2018. I believe it still has some meaning in 2025.

Today’s a new day! Indulge me for just a moment. If you were God and you were planning on coming to earth. What kind of role would you take on in society?

Would you be a wealthy CEO?

A powerful politician?

A celebrity with social media influence?

Or would you choose to become a poor child, on the run from violence and oppression?

I believe there is something profoundly significant about the fact that God’s own son walked this earth as an undocumented child refugee.

This was no accident.

It was part of the divine plan all along. Jesus could have been born and lived as a prince, a wealthy landowner or the Chief Priest. But instead He chose to become a refugee – forever linking himself with the most vulnerable people on earth:

Now after they had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. ~Matthew 2: 13-15

So, God’s heart is very much for the refugee. His own Son chose to become a refugee. To the point where Jesus proclaimed that, “I was a stranger and you welcomed me in.”

Whatever you do for refugees you do for Him.

Your posture towards the “caravan” of refugees is your heart’s posture towards Jesus.

God even calls them his “brothers” as a reminder that those who suffer should be considered as family members that you woud invite over for Thanksgiving or a BBQ (Matthew 25:40).

There are few themes repeated in Scripture more than the call to care for the orphan, the widow and the alien (or foreigner):

“So you, too, must show love to FOREIGNERS, for you yourselves were once FOREIGNERS in the land of Egypt.” Deuteronomy 10:19

“Cursed is he who distorts the justice due a FOREIGNER, orphan, and widow. And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’“ Deuteronomy 27:19

“Then I will draw near to you for judgment…against those who oppress the wage earner in his wages, the widow and the orphan, and those who turn aside the FOREIGNER and do not fear Me,” says the LORD of hosts. Malachi 3:5

So, how then should you and I respond, practically speaking, to what seems like an overwhelming refugee crisis?

There are four actions, I think, that would be Biblical, Christ-like responses to the humanitarian crisis that is currently unfolding. These are the ways I would want folks to respond if my own child or spouse were caught up in this refugee crisis:

SPIRITUALLY:

We must not lose hope.  We must not despair.  We must continue to to have Hope, because our world is not a closed system. God continues to infuse our world with hope, and Divine Love seeps through the cracks in our broken world.  Let’s continue to pray together for peace, for provision.  Let’s continue to petition and plead for, “On earth as it is in heaven….where there is no more pain or death or crying, and every tear is wiped away.”

1. Make them feel safe.

As refugees, they were forced to flee their country, leaving everything behind and running for safety with just the clothes on their backs. They’ve experienced much trauma. We should do whatever we can to make them feel welcome and safe.

2. Offer hospitality.

Perhaps the best thing you can do for refugees is to open your home to them. You can have them over for meals, or game night. You can invite them to social and family events so they can experience American culture at a Fourth of July cookout, a Thanksgiving dinner, or an Easter play.

3. Ask good questions.

When spending time with our new friends, we’ll have opportunities to ask them questions about their culture. We should be genuinely interested in them and their families. We can ask about their holidays and traditions, the things they do or don’t do, and why or why not. We might even try to learn some words in their language. Asking good questions shows them we care.

Christians should understand what it means to have someone care for you when you’re a stranger and foreigner. It’s what Jesus did for us.

4. Respect Over Fear

As we become friends with refugees, it’s imperative that we show love and respect. Not Fear.

Has Jesus not called us to love our neighbors, no matter the cost?

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. (1 John 4:18)

Yes, this can be a difficult calling. Only love can overcome fear. And that is why I appeal to you on the basis of relationship and familial ties. What if that refugee child were your own flesh and blood? What if they were your own son or daughter? What mountain would you not climb? What politician would you not lobby? What price would you not pay to see them brought to safety.

Only the kind of love we usually reserve for family can overcome the fear and selfishness that teaches us to close our doors and turn away from the refugees plight. But Jesus calls us to a different way, the way of peace, radical welcome and laying down our lives for others.

Will you allow that love to compel you towards action today?

I pray you will take time to reflect on this post. How would God want you to treat the vulnerable? How can God use you during this crisis? ~OC

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Life with Myasthenia Gravis

Good Morning! More writings from the “Lost Writings of OC.” I thought I would share a little bit about my Myasthenia Gravis (MG) experience with you today. I originally wrote this in 2024 and updated it several weeks ago. As I share this with you, my MG is getting much worse.

Today’s a new day! Myasthenia Gravis (MG) is an autoimmune disease that causes muscle weakness. But what exactly does muscle weakness feel like? To understand more, let me walk you through a typical day with MG.

For me it feels like I’ve run out power. In general, I feel it’s a huge effort to move when I’m very weak. When my legs are weak, they feel heavy and unsteady. I feel like I cannot move them or trust them to hold me up. The weaker I get, the closer and closer my steps get to each other, until I have to stop and lean against something or just sit down.

Also, I get pain in my hip flexors – basically my butt. It’s the same kind of pain you get from overdoing a workout: an achy soreness that feels like you have overused the muscles. These days, I deal with hip pain on a constant basis.

When my shoulders are weak, which is most of the time lately, I feel like I just cannot lift my arms. Like there are heavy weights holding them down.

My neck continues to get weaker. I just cannot hold my head up. It falls to the side or down, or I have to prop it up with my hand on my chin and my elbow on a table, or with a U-shaped neck pillow and a high-backed chair. As my neck weakens, I develop achy pain in my upper back from trying to hold my head up. I sometimes get a nauseating gagging sensation from my throat collapsing.

Eating with MG can be a challenge from having to take breaks while eating, to choking on solids and fluids. Sitting down to eat or drink is a major undertaking. I also start to slur my speech, and I get short of breath from minor exertion, or sometimes just sitting still.

I always have muscle weakness, but it gets more severe with heat, exertion, lack of sleep, infections, or other stressors. Summertime can be very challenging. Extreme cold is not my friend either.

Based on my weakened lung muscles, I am unable to take deep breaths. This causes issues on so many different levels. These days, every breath is a struggle.

I have to stay on top of my medications for the Myasthenia Gravis. I have to take one of those medications four times a day. Oh, I better not miss those dosages or things can go down hill pretty quickly.

I try to dress in cool fabrics and wear layers in winter. And I try to protect myself from sickness by keeping my vaccines up to date, wearing a mask when needed , and using hand sanitizer or washing my hands frequently when I am out of the house. I tend to fist bump and avoid shaking hands or hugging.

You know how much I love to walk, but that is getting harder these days. I have added a walking stick to help with my balance. This is a far cry from my marathon days

My medical team continuously tells me I am a one in two billion case with all of the multiple diagnosis. With Myasthenia Gravis, I fall into a small group of people being diagnosed with MG after having their thymus removed. My cancerous thymus was removed in 2003, but I was not diagnosed with MG until 2009. I will not go into what the thymus does, but feel free to research on your own.

How friends loved ones can help

One thing my friends and family do for me that’s immensely helpful is helping to educate themselves on Myasthenia Gravis so they can explain it to others and better understand my daily challenges.

I only have a few people besides my bride, who truly know me and my MG that well, but they are lifesavers. They’re also the ones I’ll talk candidly to when my MG gets me down. I cannot be relentlessly cheerful all the time, but I try.

I hope this gives you a better understanding of what Myasthenia Gravis looks like and how it affects my life on a daily basis. Each day is a struggle, but I continue to push forward and look at all the positives in my life. I encourage you to do the same. Go have a great day! ~OC

Dear God, Sometimes the pain is so great, I cannot think beyond my current struggle. On hard days, please ease my pain and help me focus on Your goodness one day, one hour, one moment at a time. Let Your overwhelming peace wash over me and remind me Your mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). There are days when I beg you to take the pain away. Days I just don’t have the strength. In those desperate times, I ask for Your unending strength to sustain me. I cannot do it alone, but with You all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Amen

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Immigration and the Christian Response

Good Morning! More from the “Lost Writings of OC.” I originally wrote this back in 2017, but I feel it’s still relevant in 2025.

I do not know what it’s like to be a refugee. I have never had to flee America out of fear for my life because bombs or beheadings were a very real threat. I have never had to resettle in a foreign land and struggle to assimilate to an alien or hostile culture. I also do not know what it’s like to lose a loved one to an act of terrorism.

I do believe our political leaders must strive to protect innocent lives both by thwarting the plots of terrorists and by creating refuges for people trying to escape their reach. These are not mutually exclusive endeavors.

But how should the Christian Church and Community respond to the immigration crisis in America?

I believe the Christians community should have a special appreciation for the plight of the refugee. Our spiritual heritage is full of refugees: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Ruth, Daniel and Jesus were all displaced from their homeland at some point. The earliest Christians in Jerusalem faced persecution that led them to scatter. Throughout the Bible the people of God are described as being exiles, strangers, sojourners, aliens, citizens of a heavenly home. A certain sense of homelessness is part of the cost of discipleship.

The way of Jesus Christ is not closing doors to asylum-seeking refugees or building walls to keep out foreigners. The way of Jesus Christ is not about forsaking the well-being of others in order to protect one’s own livelihood. The way of Jesus Christ is the cross. It is the way of sacrificing one’s own well-being in the name of Iove, however uncomfortable or risky or countercultural that may be.

This is not to say we should be reckless or naive or go looking for martyrdom. Christ warned his disciples not to be unrealistic about their safety in the world; they would be like sheep among wolves, and therefore should be “wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). Our compassion should be tempered by prudence and common sense.

Think about the immigration issue in terms of our witness in the world. The way we Christians respond to refugees presents a unique opportunity to show, in vivid relief, the sort of God we serve.

Ask yourself which reflects the character of Christ more: Refusing to take in a refugee because we are concerned at the possibility that we could be harmed by such charity; or taking in a refugee out of sacrificial love that says “you are welcome at my table even if it costs me something.” Simply because you are a human and bear the image of God, I value your life, show you hospitality, welcome you at my table, even if you are a potentially dangerous stranger.

I think it’s important that Christians push back against the fickle fear and political pendulum that turns the refugee into a concept rather than an image-of-God-bearing human being. Refugees are real people with real hopes and fears, just like you and I. In many cases they are our brothers and sisters in Christ.

The refugees of our world are beloved of God and should be by Christians too. We need to know them, help them, hear their stories. We can learn from them. Let’s not close our borders and our hearts to them out of fear or ignorance. Let’s love them as Jesus loves us: mercifully, generously and sacrificially.

I know this post will be met with various opinions and probably some criticism, but I felt the need to share what’s on my heart. I pray you will respect that these are my thoughts and opinions. Blessings. ~OC

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