Tag: Family

Moving Forward….

Today’s a new day! We are a few days removed from the 2024 election. So as Christians, how should we handle what was a contentious political season moving forward? Here are three things I believe as Christian we should do moving forward:

1). Be Careful With Your Communications: Guard your words and actions. Including what is shared on social media. (Check out Galatians 5:26, Job 31:29-30, Romans 12:15, Ephesians 4:3). We need to ask ourselves the following question before speaking or posting something on social media. Are our words or post bringing a sense of unity or disunity? Our words and post should follow the words found in Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

2). As Christians We Must Put Our Faith In God: This should not be just a tired old cliché. As Christians we must remember to never put our hope or trust in a political party or candidate. (Check out Psalm 146:3-5, Jeremiah 17:5-7, Psalm 118:8-9, Isaiah 2:22). We need to trust God during these moments because we know who He is. God is unchanging as Malachi 3:6 reminds us, “For I the LORD do not change;utherefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.”

3). Live With A Eternal Perspective: My Dear Brothers and Sisters, we must always live our lives with an eternal perspective. Remember we are just passing through. This world whether you’re a Democrat, Republican or Independent is not our home. Living with that mindset gives us a proper view of what is happening around us in this broken world. (Check out Philippians 3:20-21, Colossians 3:1-2, 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, Romans 8:18).

Please know, I am not wearing a pair of rose colored glasses. I realize the United States and the world are dealing with some major issues. Sadly, we live in a divided and broken world. I realize there are days we all just want to stay under the covers in our comfortable and safe beds. But God did not call us to hide under our covers. No, He called us to be lights in a dark and lost world. We need to pray for our political leaders as hard as that might be to do (1 Timothy 2:1-2). Pray that God would guide their hearts, words, steps and actions. We must also pray that God would give each of us His strength, courage, wisdom and boldness to stand up for what’s right. That we would not conform to the ways of this world (Romans 12:2). I may not be wearing rose colored glasses, but I will choose to put on my love glasses as I venture out into the world or jump on social media. Stay grounded. Stay focused. Let your light shine. ~OC

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Love Through Our Differences

Today’s a new day! Well, it’s finally here. After months of political ads, speeches, debates and political rallies, it’s finally Election Day. In a few hours, or possibly a few weeks we will have a new president. But sadly, this election and the last few elections have divided America. Everyone has their opinions and sometimes are not open to other points of view.

In our current political climate, it seems almost impossible for anyone to cross party aisles. And if our elected officials cannot bring themselves to be open-minded to opposing views, what hope is there for the rest of us?  Navigating a relationship with a family member or friend who has different political views than you do isn’t easy. But it can be done. It will take some hard work and open minds, but we can walk away from the 2024 election still loving our family and friends. Here are a few steps we can take to make sure our relationships are intact after today’s vote.

Be Curious: Ask questions. Take the time to find out about why someone thinks the way they do and share your experiences. We do not need to be condescending when sharing our political points of view. Do not make people feel stupid if they have questions. Instead, encourage them to continue asking questions. This is how we get to know each other. Our differences should be something we celebrate. Not demonize.

Listen: It’s easy to tell yourself you are open-minded. But when your family member or friend has an entirely different political viewpoint you may find yourself wanting to defend your beliefs instead of listening to theirs. It’s important to resist that impulse. If you’re taking the time to sit down and discuss a certain topic, both of you need to be really present in the conversation. Distractions should be kept to a minimum as you engage in conversation.

So how do you and your loved ones actively listen to each other? One way to do this is by reiterating the point you just heard them make by saying “This is what I heard you say, am I correct?”. This allows your family member/friend to confirm this or correct themselves if it didn’t come across in the way they hoped it would. In return, your family/friend should offer you the same courtesy. The whole point of a discussion is to see how someone arrived at their opinion; Arguing over why their opinion is wrong is not.

Monitor Your Reaction: When you are having a spirited conversation about political differences that you know both you and your family/friend are passionate about, there are ways to ensure that the discussion will not get heated. Before jumping in, take some time to organize your thoughts. By allowing yourself to take a breath you lessen the risk of saying something angry and disrespectful. If there is a point when voices are being raised or volatility is starting to take over, that’s your cue to take a timeout and return to the discussion when you are both level-headed enough to continue. Even a simple “Hey, this is important and I want to talk about it, but I’m feeling pretty upset right now. Maybe we can talk tomorrow?” can make a huge difference. 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: It’s more than a Aretha Franklin song. There is nothing wrong with questioning your beliefs. Although, to be honest, it can be terrifying when it happens.

We allow ourselves to be open to new ideas when we question what we originally thought we knew. Though, keep in mind, your family/friend should never force their beliefs on you.  A supportive family member or friend would never try to influence your opinions. Instead, they would tell you this is how they see an issue and that how you process that information is up to you.

There you go. Not every relationship can survive political differences. Sadly, that’s just part of life. However, if you find yourself in a conversation with a family member or friend with different political beliefs or opinions than you, open and honest communication is going to be more important than ever. Do not be afraid to talk to each other about your opinions and ask questions if you want to know more. The key is to always be respectful of each other’s thoughts and feelings. After all, love has no political affiliations. ~OC

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The “Hypothetical Game”

Today’s a new day! A few weeks ago, I wrote about the “What If” game (10/22/24). Today as our nation votes for a new president, I want to write about the “Hypothetical Game.”

As most of you know, the abortion issue will be a major factor for many as they head to the polls today. That is the only reason some people are voting for former President Trump and against Vice-President Harris. But let’s play the “Hypothetical Game.”

But before we play this game, I have to share I believe life matters from the womb to the grave. But I am also concerned about the women who have to make one of the toughest decisions they’ll ever have to make in life. Their lives matter too. And as a man, I will never have to make that tough decision.

I also want to speak to the Christian community about our part in this abortion debate. As I heard many of my Christian friends celebrating the overturning of Roe v. Wade, this question came to my mind. “How many babies are you going to adopt, since Roe has been overturned?” Pretty much complete silence and as of 11/5/24, still mostly crickets.

Then we have the foster care system in the United States. It continues to grow. I believe those number will only get bigger in the coming years. I have a few friends who have stepped up and fostered or adopted children out of the foster care system. They are true heroes to me. But I have to be honest. I have more friends and acquaintances, who continue to complain about the evils of abortion and how sad the foster care system is, but have not stepped up to foster or adopt one of those precious children they love to talk about.

But let’s get back to the “Hypothetical Game.”

If the former president wins, a national abortion ban could follow (I do not believe Trump is being honest when he says he won’t sign it). The ban could establish criminal penalties for women who get abortions. And that’s not all.

It’s not a stretch to see each state begin to add language or emphasis to mandatory reporter laws – which require people in certain professions to report to authorities reasonable suspicions of child abuse and neglect – to include reporting women who have had abortions or who are contemplating having an abortion.

Pastors are mandatory reporters, so anything that falls under that statute is exempt from confidentiality.

So, let’s say a woman comes into a pastor’s office and she’s grieving over recently having an abortion. She doesn’t know if God will forgive her, and she’s seeking counsel on how to move forward in her faith. In this scenario, instead of ministering to her, the pastor would have to notify the authorities and report the woman as a criminal. If a pastor chooses their calling over the legal mandate, they could face civil or criminal penalties.

If that’s not government overreach into the role of a church, I don’t know what is.

Likewise, health care workers are mandatory reporters.

So, let’s say a woman walks into a faith-based pregnancy care center, an act that by its very nature indicates she is open to keeping her baby or discussing adoption. During her visit, she tells a nurse she has seriously consulted someone about having an abortion. By law, in this scenario, the nurse might have to report that.

As a consequence, it would be easy to see how illegal, and unsafe, abortions would rise as faith-based pregnancy care centers shutter and churches become less effective as a refuge.

So a vote for someone other than Trump looks pretty “pro-life” by comparison.

When the fate of the Constitution is on the ballot, nothing else should matter. A vote for the so called “pro-life” candidate could tremendously jeopardize the legitimate faith community’s ability to function – not to mention upend everyone else’s basic civil rights. A win for Vice-President Harris, even if she is pro-choice will uphold the Constitution and work within the strictures of our institutions.

In short, Vice-President Harris keeps Christians in the ballgame to minister to the poor, needy and heavy-laden without fear of government interference, not riding the bench as so many in America continue to suffer. ~OC

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Embrace the Detours

Good Morning! Today’s a new day! This time 21 years ago, I was arriving at the hospital to have a golfball sized cancerous tumor removed from my chest. A lot of memories from that day. My mom and mom-in-love coming to take care of Laura and I. Family/friends hanging out at the hospital to pray and support Laura. The power going out at the hospital right before surgery. God giving me a vision during surgery that I would start running marathons and sharing my story (I was blessed to run 350 marathons). The doctor telling me that the team had gotten all of the tumor. Jesus was in the mist of the whole thing. Thankful He has blessed me with 21 more adventurous crazy beautiful years. Twenty-One years ago today the Today’s A New Day! writings started. As I continue walking through health issues, I encourage everyone to embrace the detours of life. ~OC

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Broken Pieces

Today’s a new day! As I study the Bible, I see that those who did God’s work were often those who made the biggest mistakes and had to learn the hard way. Just like some of us. They were no saints. As we walk this journey called life, there are wounded and broken people all around us. They might be family, friends, neighbors or coworkers. They might be the people we sit next to at church. We may not actually see their wounds, but we can usually tell when people are sad or struggling or just not themselves. Most of us have been there at some point in our own lives. We have dealt with health, relationship or finances issues. That brokenness is very personal, so much so that we often do not want to share the details with anyone. That brokenness is unique to each of us. It’s ours, nobody else’s.

Yet in a strange way, it connects us with each other as something that we have in common.

We all have our stories, battles and wounds from this world. Broken things are often despised and thrown out. Something we no longer need. We just toss them away. We tend to reject damaged goods. That includes relationships. Often when relationships breakdown, the tendency is to walk away and find someone new.

But throughout history, we see where God chooses to use broken people.

The world is full of people with broken hearts, broken spirits and broken relationships. Maybe this is hitting close to home. But there is no reason to close yourself off from the world because you might get hurt. Again. I want to remind you of the words in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

That verse is so true. God’s love can shine through the cracks and through our broken lives. Life at its best is letting the light and the love of God shine through, especially at our broken places. Only God’s love shining through will bring proper healing and transformation. When life is going well and there’s lots of sunny days, it’s so much easier to see God at work in our lives.

But in those dark days, we see God’s presence and strength shared with us in a different way. He is stronger than our darkest moments and if we trust in Him, we will grow in grace and confidence and others will notice that light shining through our cracks. But in those moments, we might need to be open and vulnerable to others.

We all know how difficult, but rewarding building relationships can be. It can be challenging to be real and transparent. We do not want people to know everything about us, but there are some painful issues that we can share, especially if we know that God is helping us through those difficult times.

Today, do you feel there are too many broken parts of your life to be of any use to God?

Believe me you are not alone. Jesus wants us to bring him all our brokenness and ask him to fill us with his light, that will shine through our cracks. So today, I pray you will lay all your broken pieces at the feet of Jesus. ~~OC

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Life…Is So Short

Today’s a new day! Life.. is so short. It will continue to go on. We cannot hold on and think that every day is promised. We have all experienced great losses in this journey called life. We have all felt that pain of losing a loved one, someone that we cared deeply about.

But yet we’re still here and now we must continue on. But what is the example that we’re going to leave? What kind of legacy do we want to leave behind? How do we lead the next generation? Hate is not going to make it work. Being afraid to be truthful to who you are will only limit who you truly are inside.

Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Don’t let anyone take away who you were created to be. Don’t be afraid, to be honest. Don’t be afraid to be different. Even being different can be difficult for a lot of people.

But I guarantee you this, there’s nobody in the world that can do you. When the time comes what would you leave behind? What legacy will be left behind to remind others of your greatness, of your losses, of your victories, of your sorrows? This is a short life that we all have. And it’s not easy, it’s not easy living it every day.

It’s not easy to go through so many different trials, so many different challenges. Maybe that challenge will be a lost relationship, job or financial struggle. It’s not easy walking through tough times in this life. We cannot blame life because it’s not the life that makes these challenges what they are today. It is the purpose and purpose never lies it will always tell you the truth.

But while we exist in this world right now I need you to hold on, I need you to hold on strong and don’t give up, I need you to believe in every possibility that you have and understand that it is not over for you. I need you to understand life is always going to be filled with good moments.

But keep in mind sooner or later, we will breathe our last breath. So keep pushing forward and don’t give up and don’t give in and do the best that you can to have the right attitude. To make your life matter. Your life is not an accident. Your life has so much meaning. Are you ready to take on the unknown? Are you prepared for it? You can’t even understand in most cases how beautiful it is sometimes to not even know what’s coming your way, but knowing that God is planning every step. Sometimes it’s not necessary for us to know everything, sometimes it’s not necessary to understand everything. But are you ready to embrace those moments of uncertainty?

There are a lot of negative things and people that exist in this world. People that can always find the negative in any situation. But we must make peace within our own heart. We must make peace in our community. Life.. is so short. ~OC

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Remembering 9/11: A Collection of Stories

Today’s a new day! This morning as I reflect back on Tuesday September 11, 2001, many thoughts come flushing in. I literally could write a book about that day that changed America in so many ways. But instead of writing another book, I thought I would share a collection of stories about that day that America stood still.

On this 23rd anniversary of 9/11, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when the two planes crashed into the twin towers of the World Trade Center, another one into the Pentagon and a plane of heroes crashed in Pennsylvania. I watched the events unfold on a TV at work with my co-workers at a secure building close to Palm Beach International Airport in West Palm Beach, Florida. I immediately called family and friends to make sure everyone was okay. I remember thinking how surreal it was, “Is this truly happening?” while watching the twin towers collapse. In that moment I thought America had lost its infallibility. Since that day 23 years ago, I don’t think that either our worst fears or our highest hopes have been realized. But the memory of that day serves as a constant reminder that we cannot take anything for granted. Life is to be cherished. We honor those we love. We honor those we have lost. We need to embrace every moment. We can Never Forget. ~OC

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Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! In late 2002, I was diagnosed with several forms of crippling arthritis. I would spend nearly a year taking multiple experimental drugs to help fight the arthritis. Unfortunately, those medications did more damage than good. Fast forward to August 2003, I had a chest scan done after coughing up blood on my way home from work. That scan would change my life forever. A few weeks after the scan a biopsy would reveal that tumor sitting in my chest was cancerous. The results would change the way I live life forever. After having the tumor removed a short time later, I thought the worst was over. I had no idea that four years later I would be diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s. Of course my symptoms had shown up years before, but I never paid any attention to them. I blew it off as stress or fatigue. Then a few short years later, I would be diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. Maybe I should have started playing the lottery. Then about eight years later, I would be diagnosed with Gastroparesis. What are the odds? Well, some on my medical team have shared I am one in two billion. Where’s that winning lottery ticket?

Over these past twenty-two years, I have learned, and continue to learn, about living with persistent pain, near-constant fatigue and constant unsteadiness. I stress living, though I am also learning about dying. We’re all, always, dying-while-living and living while dying. My experiences with these multiple health issues simply make me more aware of death’s relentless work and also, mercifully, makes me more attentive to life’s beautiful gifts. Among them are:

The amazing gift of conversations, laughter, tears, prayers, encouragement and amazing times with family and friends.

The beautiful gift of music and books.

The beautiful gift of memories from my running days.

The beautiful gift of a call or visit from friends.

The amazing gift of sunrises and sunsets.

The gift of a quiet morning before the battle of another day begins.

The amazing gift of experiencing healing in so many different ways.

The gift of experiencing the many blessings of God.

The beautiful gift of hearing God speak to my spirit.

The gift of a quiet evening on the balcony with my bride.

The beautiful gift of almost 25 years with my bride.

The amazing gift of continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride.

The gift of outliving all the predictions of my death.

The gift of knowing God has everything under control.

In the time I have left (I am taking on the challenge to outlive the current prognosis), I intend to live close to the veil, at the threshold, and at the feet of the God upon whom angels descend and ascend. I hope to say what I hear, describe what I see, and offer what I receive because it is good, hopeful and healing. Every day, I choose to be The Man Who Refuses to Die and embrace the beautiful gifts of life. ~OC

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Sharing My Journey

Today’s a new day! I did not choose this journey. I didn’t choose to become an Overcomer or The Man Who Refuses to Die. But God, in His wisdom, has allowed me to live much longer than my medical team’s predictions. My blog is a peek into how I run this crazy beautiful health journey.

I am a journal keeping and scripture reading man. In the twenty-two years of running this crazy journey, I have learned to let God’s words flow through every area of my life. God has allowed me to become a traveling prayer warrior, a storyteller and missionary.

As I have run this race, God has taught me to not rush through the stories of life. He has shown me how to slow down and really listen to peoples stories and embrace the beautiful interruptions of life.

I am thankful God did not give me the whole story of this crazy health journey at once. No, in His wisdom God has only given me what he knows I can handle at that moment. Of course, without God I could never handle any of this. That’s why I choose to put everything in His hands.

As I share my journey, I try to be as honest as my heart allows. I want people to see both the pain of this journey and the faithfulness of God in the midst of the storms.

I will never minimize the darkness. Because light shines brightest in the darkness. ~OC

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Seasons

Today’s a new day! This journey called life is made up of many seasons
some seasons slip away, never to be seen again while other seasons look like they’re slipping away, but they have only just begun

Like the dim light on the road ahead on an evening run, we only get a glimpse of the secrets of the world
May never pass this way again

Noises all around us
the seasons come and go
May never pass this way again

The dreams we dream keep us moving forward in the difficult seasons of life, those dreams keep us flying like an eagle on a warm summer breeze
May never pass this way again

Like Dr. King in the olden days
we must gather all our courage and live out our dreams
May never pass this way again

So cast away your fears
Our dreams will ebb and flow
different seasons will come and go
May never pass this way again

I wanna laugh with family and friends
I wanna cry and not waste a tear
I wanna dream and live in the moment
May never pass this way again

I wanna dance with my bride on a cool summer night to the sounds of the 80’s in the background
I wanna drive down the highway with adventure in my heart and some Motown playing on the radio
May never pass this way again

On those tough days when my body is failing me, I want to look in the mirror and not see a life of washed out dreams, on those days when it’s hard to breathe, I wanna hear Journey in the background reminding me Don’t Stop Believing
May never pass this way again

As the season change, I’m still standing, maybe not better than before, but living as an Overcomer
I wanna keep dancing in the light
May never pass this way again. ~OC

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