Life with Friends

Today’s a new day!

“This is my commandment: that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” – John 15:12-13

The words from this gospel of John make me realize how blessed the bond of friendship are. However, I wonder how often we recognize how the love shared between friends reflects the love that God shares between each individual person. Additionally, I wonder if each of us realizes how difficult friendship can be.

It’s interesting to see that the gospels do not always paint a flattering picture of the friendship between Christ and his apostles. The Gospel of Mark consistently depicts Jesus struggling with the apostles, who fail to comprehend his message. In chapter 6 of Mark, Jesus calls these twelve men together to follow in his example of teaching God’s reign in the surrounding villages and gives them power over unclean spirits (6:6-7). However, Mark also writes that the apostles were unable to understand Jesus’ great power demonstrated in the miracle of feeding of the five thousand because “their hearts were hardened” (6:52). Additionally, the gospels of Matthew and Luke also depict the rocky and challenging moments in Jesus’ friendship with the apostles. Jesus chides Peter for trying to prevent Him from traveling to Jerusalem to enter into his Passion, saying, “get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block for me…” (Matthew 16:23). Finally, Luke shows that Jesus is exasperated with the disciples even after his Resurrection, when he calls Cleopas and the other disciple walking on the road to Emmaus “foolish” and “slow of heart” for failing to understand the meaning of His suffering and death, predicted first by the prophets (Luke 24:25).

How often do we find ourselves angry or frustrated at our friends because we want them to understand us in our words and actions? These brief scripture passages illustrate that sense of frustration. The Son of God enters into a world that struggles to recognize God at all, let alone when God is immanently present in the person of Jesus. Yet God loves this world so much that God freely gives God’s self to us in friendship through Jesus, despite the risk of being misunderstood, mistreated, and maligned. That is the blessing, and the risk, of friendship. We give ourselves in vulnerability to one another without knowing whether or not we will be loved and accepted as who we are.

However, friendship highlights our own vulnerabilities within ourselves and reveals our inherent desire for one another. My friends and I are not always laughing and joking; we meet each other in our brokenness and reach out for each other in our tears. They challenge me to consider new perspectives that de-center me from my own perspectives. Sometimes we get frustrated and do not understand each other. But our friendships exude love for one another because we recognize how incredible it is to simply find someone else. When we discover one another in truth and love through friendship, we choose to give of ourselves to that person.

Which leads me back to the quote from John above. I believe what Christ is trying to tell us is that friendship is the unspoken commitment of two people who recognize each other’s vulnerable, imperfect humanity and choose to love anyway. Jesus commands us to love each other as he loved us because he continued loving the world amidst rejection, sin, and death. He laid down his life to show us that the bond of friendship is at its strongest when we pour ourselves out to another. When we give of ourselves to each other, we glimpse into the eternal love that Christ promises us through his life, ministry, death, and resurrection.

This understanding of friendship creates friends who, like Jesus and the apostles, are unafraid to continue loving and challenging us. These friends will always reach out to us in our happiness and our sadness. These types of friends will always be there to take us down from our cross and lay us to rest, and wait for us to rise to new life, even if they don’t always believe it’s going to happen. And these friends will continue to believe in us, long after we have moved on from this world. ~OC

Dear Christian Community,

Today’s a new day! Another election season is underway and is very heated. Sadly, since 2016, I have witnessed too many pastors, churches and Christians abandon the Gospel for politics. Which is such a terrible idea. Here are just a few reasons I believe so many Christians have made this decision.

  1. They have lost sight of the fact that the human heart is depraved. No national leader or political party is immune from the fallenness of humanity. One party or president may do a better job than another, but at the end of the day—or at the end of the century—life remains pretty much as it has through the course of human history, and the human heart is still “deceitful above all things and beyond cure” (Jeremiah 17:9).

    The gospel tells us that we are in a helpless state and that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). But in His great mercy, “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
  2. They see a political party as “the power of God that brings salvation,” which is only true of the gospel itself (Romans 1:16). It is tempting to believe that if your guy gets elected, then he will fix all of the problems in society and bring prosperity, safety, and peace to all. That’s not going to happen, and that’s not what government was designed to do. It simply does not have the power to bring lasting change.

    On the other hand, the gospel is powerful enough to take dead men and make them alive “because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2).
  3. They have forgotten which kingdom demands your total allegiance. While we are called to obey our governmental authorities, our ultimate allegiance does not belong to a political leader, a party, or even a nation. Jesus said in John 18 that His kingdom is “not of this world.” The kingdom of God is greater than any earthly kingdom, and it operates on a completely different value system. The kingdoms of earth say, “Blessed are the rich and powerful”; the kingdom of heaven says, “Blessed are you who are poor” (Luke 6:20).
  4. They have allowed their heavenly citizenship to be eclipsed by their earthly citizenship. When this happens, you can find ourselves sucked into the political vortex and filled with anger, vitriol, hatred for the other side. You become consumed with what happens here and now and forget that we are only on earth for a short time. This is not the way of Christ. The gospel says that we are but “sojourners and exiles” (1 Peter 2:11) and that “our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Philippians 3:20).
  5. They are focused on the temporal instead of the eternal. Politics, campaigns, and cultural issues are all significant parts of our lives on earth, but they won’t last forever. Scripture reminds us that life is but a vapor, “a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14). The gospel, however, will be relevant for all of eternity. So we must not lose sight of what matters the most—namely, our relationship with Christ and telling others about Him.
  6. They underestimate the sovereignty of the God who raises up kings and brings them down (Daniel 2:21). You have been tempted to think that “we the people” determine the fate of the nation when we go to the ballot box. Yet God is ultimately the one who calls our leaders and grants them authority to govern. So should we even bother to vote? By all means, yes, for the same reason we pray even though God has marked out the future. There is great mystery and tension in between the sovereignty of God and the moral responsibility of man. But Scripture is clear that God is the one who “makes nations great, and destroys them; He enlarges nations, and disperses them” (Job 12:23).
  7. They have set aside humility and love, and picked up pride and anger. Some Christians are holding so tightly to their own views on a candidate or an issue that they are lashing out against those who see things differently. Believe it or not, it is possible to disagree with someone without hating them. The gospel calls us to “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2). Since we are in Jesus’ kingdom, we need to refrain from vitriolic rhetoric and dialogue, “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
  8. They view their candidate as a messiah.Most followers of Christ would not actually believe that a presidential hopeful is the Messiah, but it currently seems that many Christians are treating the former president that way. They’re acting as though they are electing someone who will lead our nation into an age of glory and righteousness. But no mere human could ever attain such heights.

    The gospel says that the true Messiah has already come. “We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know Him who is true. And we are in Him who is true by being in His Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life” (1 John 5:20).

    And it says that He is coming again. “This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven” (Acts 1:10).
  9. Some have forgotten who the ruler of this present evil age is. If it seems like politics can be filled with lies and vitriol, there is a reason for that. Jesus refers to Satan as the “prince of this world” (John 14:30), and he is a master of division and deception. There is actually “no truth in him,” Jesus says, “for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). No wonder the Internet and airwaves are filled with political ads that slander and defame.

    The Scriptures tell us that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12). Christians must be careful not to partake in such divisive and vicious assaults, for in so doing, we employ the worldly tactics of our enemy.
  10. They want a “fixer” rather than a Redeemer. Some Christians are looking at their political leaders to provide perfect solutions for the problems of our day, but even the most effective politician can only put Band-Aids on societal wounds. A fixer provides temporary solutions to temporary issues. A redeemer, on the other hand, lays down his very life to bring complete restoration. Jesus did not come to “fix” us; rather, He “gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own” (Titus 2:14). Because of this great redemption, “you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness” (Romans 6:18).

At the end of the day, as a concerned Christian, I pray my fellow Christians would keep a proper perspective on the purpose and limits of politics, and the power and glory of the gospel. Do not abandon the gospel for politics. Rather, let us be humble and loving toward others, even those with whom we adamantly disagree, because “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5). We must not allow temporal struggles to distract us from our eternal joy, “so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18). We must trust in the sovereign power and will of Almighty God, remembering that “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Do not exchange the infinite beauty of the gospel for temporary political power. If you find yourself placing more hope in politics than in the gospel, know that you will find no rest there. Instead, regardless of the outcome of this and future elections, rest in the promise and hope that the gospel brings. “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23). ~OC

Sunday Hope

Today’s a new day! Living by faith and hope in the midst of a storm is hard.  There are real losses to be grieved. It’s appropriate to feel sadness, grief, and fear.

The question is, “What next?”

Jesus sits with you, lifts your head, and calls us to live with hope. Not because of our strength or ability, but because of his strength and love for us.

What is Hope?

Hope is “a feeling of trust, desire, and expectation for a certain thing to happen.”

Being trapped on a boat in the midst of a hurricane-like storm had to feel incredibly scary to the disciples. So much so, that it would seem natural to forget who was in the boat with them.

But What If I Don’t Feel Hopeful?

Sometimes we need to be reminded that what we feel isn’t ultimate. You may be on the mat in the ring, bloodied and bruised, but you are not crushed or destroyed, my friend. You may not be able to see ten minutes ahead of you in this storm, but you need not despair. You may be feeling frustration and opposition from every part of your life right now, but you are not abandoned.

Paul anchors our particular hope later in 2 Corinthians 4; he points us beyond our momentary feelings to ultimate reality.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

The dominant, momentary scripts for many are either:

  1. That what you feel is true for you personally is what is most true.
    1. What is most true is what you can see, experience, or measure in this material world; there is nothing beyond that.

But Paul, Jesus, and a Biblical view of God show that those scripts are not only too small but insufficient in the midst of crisis. They aren’t enough.

What is most true is that what you are experiencing now is but a shadow in light of the eternal glory that lays ahead of you. Take all that fear and anxiety that feels relentless; and see that the shoulders of Jesus are big enough to carry those burdens for you. What is most true is that Jesus stands not just with you but ahead of you; his love for you, the love that you know in part now, you will know in inestimable fullness one day.

You cannot always change your circumstances. But what you can do is decide what to do, right now, with the time given to you.

May God help you, help us, to live with a resilient hope in the Gospel of Jesus. Our God is the Lord of the storm, and he is with us. ~OC

A Question for White America

Today’s a new day! I have a question for white Americans. It’s not a trick question or a very difficult question to answer.

When was the last time the white population in America was locked up for simply being white? A will play the Jeopardy theme song for a few seconds to give you time to think…………………………………

Okay, I’m back. How did you do? Ready to share your answer? If your answer is anything, but zero you might need to take a history lesson. Because white people in America have never experienced being locked up simply for being white. Sadly that cannot be said for all. Let’s take a stroll down American History Lane…

Native Americans slaughtered and others put on reservations. Young Indian children sent to boarding schools to “Reeducate” them. Families torn apart forever.

Innocent people from Africa and other non-white countries brought to America and enslaved. Families torn apart forever.

During World War II, Japanese Americans sent to internment camps. Families once again torn apart forever.

Jim Crow laws that discriminated against African-Americans.

None of the groups mentioned above did anything wrong. They just happened to be born something other than white.

So when I hear so many white Americans complaining about their rights being violated or taken away, I encourage you to educate yourself on the true meaning of discrimination in America.

Oh in case anyone is wondering, I am a white American. ~OC

Loving Your Bride

Today’s a new day! Some days, you make decisions that change the trajectory of the rest of your life.

On a January morning in 1999, I decided to attend something I had never attended before. A singles event hosted by my church. I have never been a fan of single events. That is another blog post for another day. But that beautiful morning in Palm Beach, FL, I would meet a young lady that would change my life forever. That was the day I met my future bride Laura.

Last week we celebrated our twenty-five wedding anniversary. As I have walked through this beautiful journey called marriage, I have learned a few lessons about marriage. Obviously, these lessons come from my experience has a husband.

As I have looked through scriptures over the years, looking for ways that Jesus loves the church, ways that he calls me to echo his love for me in my love for my bride, I have found several great lessons, but I will only share ten of them. God calls you, as a husband, to love your wife like Jesus loves her. I hope you will reflect and pray over the following lessons.

1). Stubborn Love:
Jesus won’t ever leave his bride. He says to her, “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). His love for your bride is based not on her performance but on his covenant love for her. When we keep our marriage covenants through all of the challenges and changes over years of married life, we reflect his kind of stubborn, delight-filled love. May our brides know the comfort of love that says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). As everyone knows, Laura and I have had our challenges with my health.

2)Hopeful Love:
When Jesus looks at your bride, he sees her as already sanctified. This hope is anchored in the power and promise of the gospel. Paul writes to believers, “You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11; italics mine). In fact, he sees her not only as already sanctified but as already glorified (Romans 8:30). How often would your bride say that your love for her “hopes all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7)? By keeping eternity in mind, you can have patience with your bride, just as Jesus does with her—and you.

3). Pursuing Love:
Jesus never takes a break from pursuing our bride’s heart, not romantically but persistently. In fact, he cares not only about her devotion but also her affection (Psalm 37:4). He is the tireless Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to seek after the one (Luke 15:4–7). In a similar way, God is glorified when a husband continually seeks a deeper relationship with his bride. A husband who has been captured by Jesus’s love is an incurable romantic toward his bride.

4). Forgiving Love:
Jesus gives our bride’s grace when they do not deserve it. It may be that the most Christlike thing you can do is offer your bride forgiveness on a daily basis, remembering that you too are in need of forgiveness. The picture of forgiving love that every husband should seek to emulate is Jesus making breakfast for Peter who had sinned against him, denying him three times at his crucifixion (John 21:12–15). Is it you or your bride who is usually the first to begin to move toward reconciliation when it’s needed?

5) Joyful Love:
Jesus doesn’t just put up with your bride or grudgingly, but persistently love her—Jesus loves to love her. He delights to be with his bride. He receives joy by giving us joy (Hebrews 12:2). Wives who are loved this deeply, who know their husbands love to love them, are often an even greater blessing to others. Love your bride so joyfully that it’s obvious to her and others.

6).Serving Love
Jesus served her in life and death. There is nothing and I mean nothing, that God can call you to do for your bride that would be too much! Jesus “gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Many husbands think of themselves as kings to be served, but you and I are called by God to be the chief servants in our homes. The way to Christlikeness in our marriages is through joining Jesus in taking up the towel and the basin (John 13:12–17).

7). Sanctifying Love:
Jesus loves your bride by helping her to grow in holiness and by being her advocate before the Father (1 John 2:1). Do you encourage your bride to go to Bible study, even if it means you have to care for the kids by yourself or cook dinner for yourself? Do you regularly bring your bride before the Father in prayer? Work hard to help your bride blossom spiritually.

8). Leading Love:
Jesus leads us to what is good for us. Jesus not only loves your bride with a leading rather than a passive love, but he also leads her toward what is good (Psalm 23:2). It is impossible to lead our brides spiritually if we ourselves are not being led by God through the Word and prayer. One way you can lead her well is by seeking her input and then making big decisions (and accepting the consequences), rather than allowing the decisions and consequences to fall to her.

9). Providing Love:
Jesus provides your bride with all that she needs. Do you notice your bride’s needs, even beyond physical provision, and do something about it? Christ nourishes her, providing an environment for growth and flourishing. The apostle Paul explains to us that “in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28). It made a marked difference in my marriage when I realized that it was my responsibility to do what I could to fill my wife’s sails

10). Knowing Love:
Jesus knows your bride better than she knows herself. He has an informed love for her. He knows her strengths and her weaknesses, and he acts on her behalf (Ephesians 5:29–30). While we will never know our bride’s like God knows them, he wants us to know them as well as we can. Our prayers for them will always be hindered if we fail to know them (1 Peter 3:7). Our bride’s know they are cherished when we make an effort to really know them.

My Brothers, we have an enemy, that ancient serpent, who desires to squirm his way into our homes and cause havoc. But praise God, we know the snake crusher, Jesus, who has already defeated him and loved us with a supernatural love. Know that when you love your bride like Jesus loves her, the foundation of your marriage is strengthened, Satan is defeated again, and Christ is lifted up for more to see. Keep loving and honoring your bride. ~OC

Life…Is So Short

Today’s a new day! Life.. is so short. It will continue to go on. We cannot hold on and think that every day is promised. We have all experienced great losses in this journey called life. We have all felt that pain of losing a loved one, someone that we cared deeply about.

But yet we’re still here and now we must continue on. But what is the example that we’re going to leave? What kind of legacy do we want to leave behind? How do we lead the next generation? Hate is not going to make it work. Being afraid to be truthful to who you are will only limit who you truly are inside.

Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Don’t let anyone take away who you were created to be. Don’t be afraid, to be honest. Don’t be afraid to be different. Even being different can be difficult for a lot of people.

But I guarantee you this, there’s nobody in the world that can do you. When the time comes what would you leave behind? What legacy will be left behind to remind others of your greatness, of your losses, of your victories, of your sorrows? This is a short life that we all have. And it’s not easy, it’s not easy living it every day.

It’s not easy to go through so many different trials, so many different challenges. Maybe that challenge will be a lost relationship, job or financial struggle. It’s not easy walking through tough times in this life. We cannot blame life because it’s not the life that makes these challenges what they are today. It is the purpose and purpose never lies it will always tell you the truth.

But while we exist in this world right now I need you to hold on, I need you to hold on strong and don’t give up, I need you to believe in every possibility that you have and understand that it is not over for you. I need you to understand life is always going to be filled with good moments.

But keep in mind sooner or later, we will breathe our last breath. So keep pushing forward and don’t give up and don’t give in and do the best that you can to have the right attitude. To make your life matter. Your life is not an accident. Your life has so much meaning. Are you ready to take on the unknown? Are you prepared for it? You can’t even understand in most cases how beautiful it is sometimes to not even know what’s coming your way, but knowing that God is planning every step. Sometimes it’s not necessary for us to know everything, sometimes it’s not necessary to understand everything. But are you ready to embrace those moments of uncertainty?

There are a lot of negative things and people that exist in this world. People that can always find the negative in any situation. But we must make peace within our own heart. We must make peace in our community. Life.. is so short. ~OC

Political Differences

Today’s a new day! I have shared on numerous occasions, I am mostly an issues over candidate voter. Which means I have voted for Republicans, Democrats and Independents. In the past when I would mention that to others it really was not a big deal with most people. Some might agree while others would not. But usually it was never a huge issue. Over the last few years that has changed. Drastically. Let me explain.

When I talk with my Democrat friends and mention that I voted for a Republican candidate, we discuss why I made that decision. They may disagree with me, but there has never been any judgment. Just an agree to disagree respectful discussion.

Sadly, that has not been my experience with some of my Republican friends when I have mentioned I voted for a Democrat. Well, let me be more specific. When I mention that I do not support and have never supported former President Trump, here are the following statements I have heard from a good number of my Trump supporting friends:

*You must not love America.

*You must be a snowflake.

*You must have been brainwashed.

*You must be listening to fake news.

*Maybe that’s why you’re sick.

*Maybe that’s why you lost your miracle.

*You might not be a Christian.

*I cannot be your friend.

I would love to tell you that I was joking and making all of this up, but sadly I have experienced all of the above comments on numerous occasions. I am not mad at those people (obviously they’re not real friends), that have made those comments. Unfortunately, they have made the choice to put their political beliefs over friendship. I will not question their faith because that’s not my job.

Even with all the negativity I have faced with being out spoken about my political views, it will not stop me from continuing to speak out and share my opinions. Did you catch that? My own personal opinions and beliefs. Which we all should be able to freely express.

Let me finish this by saying, I am thankful for those real friends on both sides of the political aisle that have been respectful in discussing our political differences. ~OC

Remembering 9/11: A Collection of Stories

Today’s a new day! This morning as I reflect back on Tuesday September 11, 2001, many thoughts come flushing in. I literally could write a book about that day that changed America in so many ways. But instead of writing another book, I thought I would share a collection of stories about that day that America stood still.

On this 23rd anniversary of 9/11, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when the two planes crashed into the twin towers of the World Trade Center, another one into the Pentagon and a plane of heroes crashed in Pennsylvania. I watched the events unfold on a TV at work with my co-workers at a secure building close to Palm Beach International Airport in West Palm Beach, Florida. I immediately called family and friends to make sure everyone was okay. I remember thinking how surreal it was, “Is this truly happening?” while watching the twin towers collapse. In that moment I thought America had lost its infallibility. Since that day 23 years ago, I don’t think that either our worst fears or our highest hopes have been realized. But the memory of that day serves as a constant reminder that we cannot take anything for granted. Life is to be cherished. We honor those we love. We honor those we have lost. We need to embrace every moment. We can Never Forget. ~OC

September 10, 2001

Tomorrow, most everyone in America—and most of the world—will take a moment to remember what happened on that Tuesday across our nation September 11th, 2001.

We will fall silent as bells toll for the almost 3,000 people whose lives were lost in those Tuesday morning attacks.

Countless others have been lost over the years due to health issues caused on that tragic Tuesday twenty-three years ago.

There will be tributes paid to the heroes who responded to the attacks—those members of the public who fervently worked  to help rescue people from the rubble, even when there were so few left alive to rescue.

We’ll pay tribute to the 184 who died at the Pentagon.

We will salute the courageous passengers of United Flight 93—the very first soldiers to engage the enemy in a post-9/11 war. We will remember the words “Let’s Roll.”

We will remember where we were when we heard the news—what we were doing, how we found out, who was there with us… who shouted and who cried. Who was speechless.

We will all recall asking “Why?”

We will recognize the lessons learned on Tuesday September 11th—perhaps we’ll even celebrate the unity we had on September 12th.

But what of our recollection of 23 years ago today?

What about September 10, 2001?

On the morning of September 10, 2001, Katie Couric and Matt Lauer opened NBC’s TODAY show with news of “anemic” economic growth, noting the Dow and the NASDAQ at near record lows for the year. Al Roker giving us the latest weather for our neck of the woods.

On September 10, 2001, ESPN was discussing the Dallas Cowboys loss the day before to my Tampa Bay Bucs. Headline news was discussing shark attacks along the eastern seaboard. And the entertainment world was a buzz about the first Harry Potter movie.

In our nation’s capital, news outlets chronicled the investigation into the disappearance of Capitol Hill intern Chandra Levy, and ever-increasing suspicion that then-Congressman Gary Condit knew more about the matter than he was saying.

Only a tiny number of people even took notice of international news that Ahmed Shah Massoud—the leader of the so-called Northern Alliance fighting against the Taliban in Afghanistan—had been killed by a suicide bomber disguised as a journalist.

News of that terrorist attack would have massive repercussions just days later.

But terrorism was the furthest thing from virtually everyone’s minds.

The 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center—which killed six and injured hundreds more—was barely a distant memory for all but a few police professionals still working “the terrorist angle.”

There was no mystery surrounding the most recent attack on the United States—al-Qaeda had claimed responsibility for the suicide bombing on the USS Cole as she was being refueled in Yemen’s Aden harbor, killing 17 sailors and wounding 37 others less than a year prior.

American law enforcement officers were correctly focused on keeping the streets safe from criminal mayhem perpetrated by the thief who comes to steal and kill and destroy—but they were doing so almost entirely “below the radar.”

It’s difficult to believe that the 9/11 terrorist attacks occurred twenty-three years ago tomorrow. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday.

It’s even more difficult to believe that on 9/10 America as a whole—and many ways, Americans individually—had a unique brand of innocence. We didn’t know it at the time, but we did have it.

However, that purity wafted away in the smoke and cinders rising from the smoldering craters in lower Manhattan, northern Virginia, and a plane in rural Pennsylvania.

On Wednesday 9/12, our thinking about the world was vastly different from what our thinking was on Monday 9/10.

Remembering Monday 9/10/01, is to be reminded that we simply cannot know what tomorrow may bring, or what may follow thereafter.

Today is September 10, 2024—twenty-three years ago today 2,996 families spend their last day together as a family.

Today is September 10, 2024, what thoughts and memories are going through your mind? ~OC

The Talk

Today’s a new day! As most of you know, Laura and I do not have any children. But we have been blessed with some amazing god-children and have both worked with young people most of our careers. I wanted to share that before writing the following.

Over the years, I have been blessed with friends of all colors and backgrounds. I know my African-American friends have different talks with their children. Every African-American parent I know at some point, has had to have “the talk,” the proverbial sit-down where they engage their children in a serious discussion about how African-Americans are treated by police. They explain how to converse with police, how to make eye contact, how or when to show respect, how, when necessary, they must sometimes genuflect to unjust authority in order to protect themselves.

Inevitably, it’s not just one talk. Circumstances force African-American parents to have a series of conversations throughout their children’s lives, because racism is a constant presence.

In light of yesterday’s incident with Miami Dolphin’s wide receiver Tyreek Hill being pulled over, handcuffed and placed face down on the ground, I know a lot of African-American parents once again had “the talk” with their children.

In the face of almost daily occurrences of racial violence against African-Americans, sadly there cannot just be one talk about how young people should conduct themselves when interacting with police. As a community we must teach our children, god children, nieces and nephews every day to help them navigate the communities they live in. We should all be talking to students and young people about racism in America. And not just when there is another racially motivated incident. Having healthy conversations about racism is the only way we will ever experience any type of racial healing in America.

Early on, children are taught not to play with electrical outlets and to be careful near a hot stove. Hopefully they are taught to say please and thank you, and to be nice and share. Just as organically as parents teach their children to look both ways when crossing the street, we should be giving them regular, developmentally appropriate lessons about race and racism. As we’ve seen, over and over a bad run-in with a police officer can be as fatal as a car accident. Failing to have these conversations can put young people, especially young African-American men in great danger.

Please do not be under the false illusion that avoiding these conversations will shield your child from the horrors of racism; they will absorb this information somehow. And if we ignore it, that’s the lesson they’ll learn from us.

I know these conversations can be heart-breaking as they are necessary, especially when they touch a child’s life directly.

Over the years, Laura and I have tried our best to become more knowledgeable about the racial issues from America’s past and present. We have taken time to have real and difficult conversations about race with our African-American friends. We have chosen during those conversations to listen more and talk less. Laura and I have taken the time to read and study the history of America. All of its history. We continuously encourage our family and friends of every color and background to study the complete history of America.

My prayer is that we would never see another African-American be pulled over by a police officer just because of the color of their skin. But sadly, that’s the world we live in. So parents, family members and friends, make sure you’re having “The Talk” with your children. Regardless of color. ~OC

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