The Talk

Today’s a new day! As most of you know, Laura and I do not have any children. But we have been blessed with some amazing god-children and have both worked with young people most of our careers. I wanted to share that before writing the following.

Over the years, I have been blessed with friends of all colors and backgrounds. I know my African-American friends have different talks with their children. Every African-American parent I know at some point, has had to have “the talk,” the proverbial sit-down where they engage their children in a serious discussion about how African-Americans are treated by police. They explain how to converse with police, how to make eye contact, how or when to show respect, how, when necessary, they must sometimes genuflect to unjust authority in order to protect themselves.

Inevitably, it’s not just one talk. Circumstances force African-American parents to have a series of conversations throughout their children’s lives, because racism is a constant presence.

In light of yesterday’s incident with Miami Dolphin’s wide receiver Tyreek Hill being pulled over, handcuffed and placed face down on the ground, I know a lot of African-American parents once again had “the talk” with their children.

In the face of almost daily occurrences of racial violence against African-Americans, sadly there cannot just be one talk about how young people should conduct themselves when interacting with police. As a community we must teach our children, god children, nieces and nephews every day to help them navigate the communities they live in. We should all be talking to students and young people about racism in America. And not just when there is another racially motivated incident. Having healthy conversations about racism is the only way we will ever experience any type of racial healing in America.

Early on, children are taught not to play with electrical outlets and to be careful near a hot stove. Hopefully they are taught to say please and thank you, and to be nice and share. Just as organically as parents teach their children to look both ways when crossing the street, we should be giving them regular, developmentally appropriate lessons about race and racism. As we’ve seen, over and over a bad run-in with a police officer can be as fatal as a car accident. Failing to have these conversations can put young people, especially young African-American men in great danger.

Please do not be under the false illusion that avoiding these conversations will shield your child from the horrors of racism; they will absorb this information somehow. And if we ignore it, that’s the lesson they’ll learn from us.

I know these conversations can be heart-breaking as they are necessary, especially when they touch a child’s life directly.

Over the years, Laura and I have tried our best to become more knowledgeable about the racial issues from America’s past and present. We have taken time to have real and difficult conversations about race with our African-American friends. We have chosen during those conversations to listen more and talk less. Laura and I have taken the time to read and study the history of America. All of its history. We continuously encourage our family and friends of every color and background to study the complete history of America.

My prayer is that we would never see another African-American be pulled over by a police officer just because of the color of their skin. But sadly, that’s the world we live in. So parents, family members and friends, make sure you’re having “The Talk” with your children. Regardless of color. ~OC