Tag: Friends

Here For You

Today’s a new day!

When the nights are long and sleep is a distant memory and your days are full of dark cloudy memories, I will be here for you

When the world feels like it’s moving a million miles an hour and you want to jump off, I will be here for you

When the world seems to have forgotten you and moved on, I will be here for you

When the doctors give you little hope your friends can’t be found, I will be here for you

When you feel alone in this broken and dark world, I will be here for you

When the rest of the world calls you crazy because you go against the grain, I will be here for you

When you decide to question everything you been taught and your friends and church question your faith, I will be here for you

When your lifestyle doesn’t align with those of your family and friends, I will be here for you

When you decide to speak up and be bold, I will be here for you

When the rest of the world misses out on your beauty and promise, I will be here for you

When you need to laugh or cry, I will be here for you

When the world thinks your ideals are but a pipe dream, I will be here for you

When your journey takes you down a winding and uncertain road, I will be here for you

When you need a second or hundredth chance, I will be here for you

You never have to walk this journey alone, I will walk with you anyway you need me to

I never want to miss a chance to show you, I will always be here for you

It’s gonna be okay, I will be here for you

I’ll be here, I’ll be here

Anyway you need

I’ll be here for you

~OC

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Moving Forward….

Today’s a new day! We are a few days removed from the 2024 election. So as Christians, how should we handle what was a contentious political season moving forward? Here are three things I believe as Christian we should do moving forward:

1). Be Careful With Your Communications: Guard your words and actions. Including what is shared on social media. (Check out Galatians 5:26, Job 31:29-30, Romans 12:15, Ephesians 4:3). We need to ask ourselves the following question before speaking or posting something on social media. Are our words or post bringing a sense of unity or disunity? Our words and post should follow the words found in Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

2). As Christians We Must Put Our Faith In God: This should not be just a tired old cliché. As Christians we must remember to never put our hope or trust in a political party or candidate. (Check out Psalm 146:3-5, Jeremiah 17:5-7, Psalm 118:8-9, Isaiah 2:22). We need to trust God during these moments because we know who He is. God is unchanging as Malachi 3:6 reminds us, “For I the LORD do not change;utherefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.”

3). Live With A Eternal Perspective: My Dear Brothers and Sisters, we must always live our lives with an eternal perspective. Remember we are just passing through. This world whether you’re a Democrat, Republican or Independent is not our home. Living with that mindset gives us a proper view of what is happening around us in this broken world. (Check out Philippians 3:20-21, Colossians 3:1-2, 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, Romans 8:18).

Please know, I am not wearing a pair of rose colored glasses. I realize the United States and the world are dealing with some major issues. Sadly, we live in a divided and broken world. I realize there are days we all just want to stay under the covers in our comfortable and safe beds. But God did not call us to hide under our covers. No, He called us to be lights in a dark and lost world. We need to pray for our political leaders as hard as that might be to do (1 Timothy 2:1-2). Pray that God would guide their hearts, words, steps and actions. We must also pray that God would give each of us His strength, courage, wisdom and boldness to stand up for what’s right. That we would not conform to the ways of this world (Romans 12:2). I may not be wearing rose colored glasses, but I will choose to put on my love glasses as I venture out into the world or jump on social media. Stay grounded. Stay focused. Let your light shine. ~OC

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Love Through Our Differences

Today’s a new day! Well, it’s finally here. After months of political ads, speeches, debates and political rallies, it’s finally Election Day. In a few hours, or possibly a few weeks we will have a new president. But sadly, this election and the last few elections have divided America. Everyone has their opinions and sometimes are not open to other points of view.

In our current political climate, it seems almost impossible for anyone to cross party aisles. And if our elected officials cannot bring themselves to be open-minded to opposing views, what hope is there for the rest of us?  Navigating a relationship with a family member or friend who has different political views than you do isn’t easy. But it can be done. It will take some hard work and open minds, but we can walk away from the 2024 election still loving our family and friends. Here are a few steps we can take to make sure our relationships are intact after today’s vote.

Be Curious: Ask questions. Take the time to find out about why someone thinks the way they do and share your experiences. We do not need to be condescending when sharing our political points of view. Do not make people feel stupid if they have questions. Instead, encourage them to continue asking questions. This is how we get to know each other. Our differences should be something we celebrate. Not demonize.

Listen: It’s easy to tell yourself you are open-minded. But when your family member or friend has an entirely different political viewpoint you may find yourself wanting to defend your beliefs instead of listening to theirs. It’s important to resist that impulse. If you’re taking the time to sit down and discuss a certain topic, both of you need to be really present in the conversation. Distractions should be kept to a minimum as you engage in conversation.

So how do you and your loved ones actively listen to each other? One way to do this is by reiterating the point you just heard them make by saying “This is what I heard you say, am I correct?”. This allows your family member/friend to confirm this or correct themselves if it didn’t come across in the way they hoped it would. In return, your family/friend should offer you the same courtesy. The whole point of a discussion is to see how someone arrived at their opinion; Arguing over why their opinion is wrong is not.

Monitor Your Reaction: When you are having a spirited conversation about political differences that you know both you and your family/friend are passionate about, there are ways to ensure that the discussion will not get heated. Before jumping in, take some time to organize your thoughts. By allowing yourself to take a breath you lessen the risk of saying something angry and disrespectful. If there is a point when voices are being raised or volatility is starting to take over, that’s your cue to take a timeout and return to the discussion when you are both level-headed enough to continue. Even a simple “Hey, this is important and I want to talk about it, but I’m feeling pretty upset right now. Maybe we can talk tomorrow?” can make a huge difference. 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: It’s more than a Aretha Franklin song. There is nothing wrong with questioning your beliefs. Although, to be honest, it can be terrifying when it happens.

We allow ourselves to be open to new ideas when we question what we originally thought we knew. Though, keep in mind, your family/friend should never force their beliefs on you.  A supportive family member or friend would never try to influence your opinions. Instead, they would tell you this is how they see an issue and that how you process that information is up to you.

There you go. Not every relationship can survive political differences. Sadly, that’s just part of life. However, if you find yourself in a conversation with a family member or friend with different political beliefs or opinions than you, open and honest communication is going to be more important than ever. Do not be afraid to talk to each other about your opinions and ask questions if you want to know more. The key is to always be respectful of each other’s thoughts and feelings. After all, love has no political affiliations. ~OC

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In the Boat

Today’s a new day! At one point during my beautiful life, my friendship list looked like a big cruise ship. Many people laughing and having fun. Life was great. Then I got sick and the boat began to get smaller. Of course that was tough to endure, but God gave me peace.

Then I experienced a beautiful miracle and all of the sudden the boat started getting bigger, but most of the relationships were not real. They were based on what God had done in my life. People cared more about the miracle than they did about me. Once again tough to endure, but God guided me through this trial. He even told me on a walk one early morning, that my inner circle would get even smaller. There would be fewer people sitting in my boat. This did not scare me. It actually gave me great peace.

Then a few months ago, I was diagnosed with dementia and more friends jumped off the boat. This time I was prepared for it. Less phone calls checking in or returning my calls or text. God had clearly prepared me for this time. That does not mean there was not some pain and disappointment. It hurt. Thankfully God continues to carry me through this season.

As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful journey called life, I cling to the friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. The ones who actually reach out to me without any prompting and reassure me they are never leaving the boat regardless of how big the waves get. We will endure together. How blessed I am to have these people in the boat with me. Beautiful bright lights to travel with on this beautiful symphony called life. It brings me great encouragement as I move through the different seasons of life.

As I wrote the words above, I realized I have never needed rescuing from the boat. God has always been in the boat with me. He has never thought about abandoning me. Once again, I am thankful for those God has chosen to ride the waves with me in the boat. But more importantly, my hope and peace comes from God who created the boat and me. The One who can calm the raging seas with just a whisper.

As you walk through the storms of life, look around and see who’s still in the boat with you. When you find them cherish them. Never take your tribe for granted. During the storms of life, learn to sit in the boat with others. Embrace those in the boat. Encourage those in the boat. Empower those in the boat. Live life together in the boat. ~OC

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I Choose

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I will strive to live out the following:

I will choose to stay in touch with friends

I will choose every day to be a better person

I will choose to be happy

I will choose to share hope and love

I will choose to look for the good in people

I will choose to forgive and share grace

I will choose to speak out against injustice

I will choose to encourage others

I will choose to have the courage to express my thoughts and feelings

I will choose to have the courage to truly live out the life I was created to live, not the life others except from me.

I will choose to begin and end every day with praise, prayer and thanksgiving. ~OC

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Views on Halloween

Today’s a new day! Here is my question for the day: Is it okay for Christians to celebrate Halloween?

It’s hard to outright ignore Halloween. It’s everywhere. In our condo, several people have their doors directed for this October 31st holiday. Have you walked into a store lately? Most are stocked with various Halloween items. In 2023, Americans spent $12.2 billion on Halloween. That’s a lot of candy and costumes.

So there’s no hiding from Halloween. But should Christians participate in it? Should Christian children be walking the neighborhoods trick or treating? Or should the Christian community rise up and boycott Halloween altogether?

Some say, yes, Christians should boycott Halloween. In arguing that Halloween should be off-limits for Christians,people will site the origin of Halloween back to pagan festivals in the first century AD. Some people will claim that blood, witchcraft, and horror have become the dominate themes of the day. Furthermore, Christians opposed to Halloween will cite Bible verses that condemn witchcraft and sorcery, as well as Bible verses that command Christians to separate themselves from all that is impure.

Others will say, no, Christians don’t need to boycott Halloween. I read where several writers call it revisionist history to claim that Halloween is rooted in a pagan festival. They each wrote that Halloween is actually rooted in Christianity. All Hallows Eve is the evening before All Saints Day (Nov. 1). These writers challenged Christians not to back down to the culture, but instead to reclaim Halloween. Many feel it’s possible to “soften” the holiday by wearing non-scary costumes like classic superheros and princesses and establishing wholesome family customs.

But here is the argument that has been most persuasive for me: Halloween is the rare occasion out of a busy calendar filled year to get out of our houses and interact with our neighbors.

I have been so amazed and happy how interactive the neighbors in our condominium have been. I have lived in neighborhoods where neighbors barely spoke with each other. That’s a totally different blog post, for a different day.

Let’s keep in mind, that God is infinitely resourceful. What if, in His perfect wisdom, God desires to leverage Halloween to build community among people? Halloween can be a strategic time to see your neighbors face to face (or maybe mask to mask). Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31) We understand “neighbor” to mean any human being … which includes actual neighbors in your neighborhood.

So, Laura and I will happily be opening our door to the excited children with their colorful costumes screaming trick or treat and filling their creative buckets with tasty treats. And we will be looking for opportunities to engage with our neighbors. Happy Halloween! ~OC

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Remembering 9/11: A Collection of Stories

Today’s a new day! This morning as I reflect back on Tuesday September 11, 2001, many thoughts come flushing in. I literally could write a book about that day that changed America in so many ways. But instead of writing another book, I thought I would share a collection of stories about that day that America stood still.

On this 23rd anniversary of 9/11, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when the two planes crashed into the twin towers of the World Trade Center, another one into the Pentagon and a plane of heroes crashed in Pennsylvania. I watched the events unfold on a TV at work with my co-workers at a secure building close to Palm Beach International Airport in West Palm Beach, Florida. I immediately called family and friends to make sure everyone was okay. I remember thinking how surreal it was, “Is this truly happening?” while watching the twin towers collapse. In that moment I thought America had lost its infallibility. Since that day 23 years ago, I don’t think that either our worst fears or our highest hopes have been realized. But the memory of that day serves as a constant reminder that we cannot take anything for granted. Life is to be cherished. We honor those we love. We honor those we have lost. We need to embrace every moment. We can Never Forget. ~OC

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Are You a 3am Friend?

Good evening! It’s 10:15pm here in South Florida, as I sit in my recliner and write this post. I have a question to ask? Do you have a 3am friend?

OC, what in the world is a 3am friend? I’m glad you asked. A 3am friend is a friend you can call at 3am when the storms of life hit. Where most people would probably not even answer the phone, a 3am friend welcomes your call.

The 3am friend is one of the most important people in our lives. It doesn’t matter if these are work friends, faith friends, or family relations.

You can call that 3am friend because you’re confident that they care about you even when they are distracted by their own challenges or recovering from a hard day. You can also trust them to respect and support you even when they see you at your worst.

Do you have 3 a.m. friends? More importantly, are you a 3 a.m. friend for others?

I hope your answer to both questions is, “Yes, of course.” But that isn’t true for all of us, nor is it true all the time. There are all kinds of fancy ideas and theories about “community.” I don’t pretend to have a mastery of what all possible communities could or should look like. But at the end of the day, communities do one critically important thing: they create relationships. Supportive and loving relationships.

The simplest way to build community is by letting others know that we want to be their 3 a.m. friend. Maybe you are ready to be that 3 a.m. friend, and they don’t know it.

On a number of occasions, friends have surprised me by calling me in the middle of night with a crisis. Perhaps they needed someone to support family members waiting tensely in an emergency room. Perhaps they were overwhelmed by the pressures of life. Maybe they needed someone to just listen to them. Maybe they needed prayer.

Over the years, I have come to realize that it is an honor to be trusted in moments like that. When someone shares their vulnerability, they are inviting us to know them in a deeper way.

If you’ve never done it, I suggest that, right now, you call or text the people that you know are your 3 a.m. friends. Thank them for filling this role in your life even if you’ve never needed to make that call. If there are people that you know whose middle-of-the-night calls you would welcome, consider letting them know how you feel.

While we can talk about “building community” in fancy ways elsewhere, this may be the most important community you will ever have. God knows you need them and they need you.

So, if you ever need a 3am friend, please reach out to me. I would be honored to do life with you. Even at 3am. Blessings. ~OC

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Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! In late 2002, I was diagnosed with several forms of crippling arthritis. I would spend nearly a year taking multiple experimental drugs to help fight the arthritis. Unfortunately, those medications did more damage than good. Fast forward to August 2003, I had a chest scan done after coughing up blood on my way home from work. That scan would change my life forever. A few weeks after the scan a biopsy would reveal that tumor sitting in my chest was cancerous. The results would change the way I live life forever. After having the tumor removed a short time later, I thought the worst was over. I had no idea that four years later I would be diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s. Of course my symptoms had shown up years before, but I never paid any attention to them. I blew it off as stress or fatigue. Then a few short years later, I would be diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. Maybe I should have started playing the lottery. Then about eight years later, I would be diagnosed with Gastroparesis. What are the odds? Well, some on my medical team have shared I am one in two billion. Where’s that winning lottery ticket?

Over these past twenty-two years, I have learned, and continue to learn, about living with persistent pain, near-constant fatigue and constant unsteadiness. I stress living, though I am also learning about dying. We’re all, always, dying-while-living and living while dying. My experiences with these multiple health issues simply make me more aware of death’s relentless work and also, mercifully, makes me more attentive to life’s beautiful gifts. Among them are:

The amazing gift of conversations, laughter, tears, prayers, encouragement and amazing times with family and friends.

The beautiful gift of music and books.

The beautiful gift of memories from my running days.

The beautiful gift of a call or visit from friends.

The amazing gift of sunrises and sunsets.

The gift of a quiet morning before the battle of another day begins.

The amazing gift of experiencing healing in so many different ways.

The gift of experiencing the many blessings of God.

The beautiful gift of hearing God speak to my spirit.

The gift of a quiet evening on the balcony with my bride.

The beautiful gift of almost 25 years with my bride.

The amazing gift of continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride.

The gift of outliving all the predictions of my death.

The gift of knowing God has everything under control.

In the time I have left (I am taking on the challenge to outlive the current prognosis), I intend to live close to the veil, at the threshold, and at the feet of the God upon whom angels descend and ascend. I hope to say what I hear, describe what I see, and offer what I receive because it is good, hopeful and healing. Every day, I choose to be The Man Who Refuses to Die and embrace the beautiful gifts of life. ~OC

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Friday Night in the 80’s

It’s Friday! Let’s take a trip back to the 1980’s in West Palm Beach, FL. You have had a long week at school. It’s time to relax and let loose. You spend a lot of time getting ready for a night on the town. Gotta look good! Ladies have to have that 80’s hair on point. Guys have to pick just the right cologne. You jump in a crowded car and see where the night takes you. First stop is the mall. Do you hit the Palm Beach Mall or the Cross County Mall? Maybe you scope out both. If you hit the Cross County Mall, you might check out what’s playing at the AMC Movie Theater. Then you might scroll over to the Arcade. Oh, everyone is getting a little hungry. You head down to Mamma Leone’s for a slice or two. You hang out for a while and decide what’s next. No one can decide on a movie, so you decide to head to Galaxy Skating Rink. You’re bound to find some friends skating to the amazing sounds of the 70’s and 80’s. You spend a few hours skating round and round, then you decide it’s time to head back to the Cross County Mall and get some ice cream at Swenson’s. By that time some new friends have jumped in the 🚘. Maybe you know maybe you don’t. It really doesn’t matter. After making yourself half sick on all the ice cream, you decide maybe you’ll hit a midnight movie at the theater. Maybe you have a friend working there who will let you in for free. After a night of fun, you head home with some amazing memories. Memories that will last a lifetime. Enjoy your Friday night! ~OC

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