Tag: Friendship

Time

Today’s a new day! As I continue running this crazy beautiful health journey, the days are getting tougher. But as my body continues to decline, I push forward to continue living a life of significance. I want every moment to count. I wrote this a few weeks ago. Hopefully you will take some time to reflect on it.

As I reflect on this crazy beautiful journey, I must start with the beginning. I came into this world in December 1965. That was the year God put breath in my lungs.

Even though that day in ‘65 was a major moment in my life, what has happened since that day is what really matters. What have I done with the time that has been entrusted to me?

For that time represents all the opportunities that have come and gone since the winter of ‘65. Have I used this gift of time wisely?

What really hasn’t mattered is the material things I have collected over the years. Sometimes I cringe at the things bought on Amazon. But hey it sounded like a good deal at the time. The careers, money, houses may have been nice, but at the end of the day they were but fleeting.

As I move into the 4th quarter of this health journey, I want to make sure I am investing in things that truly matter. Most importantly, I want to invest in people that matter. Who are the people who matter? Everyone I encounter on this journey matters. Whether it’s a friend I have known since childhood or a new friend I just met on the elevator. Because at the end of the day, it’s our relationships that matter.

As I reflect back on the journey, are there things I would like to change? Yes there are. But I will never regret the time spent with family and friends. I will never regret the moments spent with loved ones laughing and crying. I will never regret the beautiful interruptions God has brought my way.

As I continue running this health journey, I want to slow down and experience what is real. What truly matters. I want to be slower to speak and quicker to listen. I want to be slower to anger and quicker to love. I want to be more willing to show forgiveness than to hold a grudge. I want to be known more for what I love and less known for what I dislike.

As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have been known by my multiple nicknames. I have been known for beating the odds in my health battle. Those are all nice, but the three things that matter to me the most is being known as a person who knows and loves God, a man who loves his amazing bride and a person who cares about his amazing friends and desires to be a great friend.

At some point this crazy beautiful health journey will come to an end. All of our journeys will eventually come to an end. My question to you and myself is this, “At the end of your journey, will you be happy with the way you lived out the precious time you were given?” ~OC

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Here For You

Today’s a new day!

When the nights are long and sleep is a distant memory and your days are full of dark cloudy memories, I will be here for you

When the world feels like it’s moving a million miles an hour and you want to jump off, I will be here for you

When the world seems to have forgotten you and moved on, I will be here for you

When the doctors give you little hope your friends can’t be found, I will be here for you

When you feel alone in this broken and dark world, I will be here for you

When the rest of the world calls you crazy because you go against the grain, I will be here for you

When you decide to question everything you been taught and your friends and church question your faith, I will be here for you

When your lifestyle doesn’t align with those of your family and friends, I will be here for you

When you decide to speak up and be bold, I will be here for you

When the rest of the world misses out on your beauty and promise, I will be here for you

When you need to laugh or cry, I will be here for you

When the world thinks your ideals are but a pipe dream, I will be here for you

When your journey takes you down a winding and uncertain road, I will be here for you

When you need a second or hundredth chance, I will be here for you

You never have to walk this journey alone, I will walk with you anyway you need me to

I never want to miss a chance to show you, I will always be here for you

It’s gonna be okay, I will be here for you

I’ll be here, I’ll be here

Anyway you need

I’ll be here for you

~OC

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In the Boat

Today’s a new day! At one point during my beautiful life, my friendship list looked like a big cruise ship. Many people laughing and having fun. Life was great. Then I got sick and the boat began to get smaller. Of course that was tough to endure, but God gave me peace.

Then I experienced a beautiful miracle and all of the sudden the boat started getting bigger, but most of the relationships were not real. They were based on what God had done in my life. People cared more about the miracle than they did about me. Once again tough to endure, but God guided me through this trial. He even told me on a walk one early morning, that my inner circle would get even smaller. There would be fewer people sitting in my boat. This did not scare me. It actually gave me great peace.

Then a few months ago, I was diagnosed with dementia and more friends jumped off the boat. This time I was prepared for it. Less phone calls checking in or returning my calls or text. God had clearly prepared me for this time. That does not mean there was not some pain and disappointment. It hurt. Thankfully God continues to carry me through this season.

As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful journey called life, I cling to the friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. The ones who actually reach out to me without any prompting and reassure me they are never leaving the boat regardless of how big the waves get. We will endure together. How blessed I am to have these people in the boat with me. Beautiful bright lights to travel with on this beautiful symphony called life. It brings me great encouragement as I move through the different seasons of life.

As I wrote the words above, I realized I have never needed rescuing from the boat. God has always been in the boat with me. He has never thought about abandoning me. Once again, I am thankful for those God has chosen to ride the waves with me in the boat. But more importantly, my hope and peace comes from God who created the boat and me. The One who can calm the raging seas with just a whisper.

As you walk through the storms of life, look around and see who’s still in the boat with you. When you find them cherish them. Never take your tribe for granted. During the storms of life, learn to sit in the boat with others. Embrace those in the boat. Encourage those in the boat. Empower those in the boat. Live life together in the boat. ~OC

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Game Plan

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I thought I would share my game plan with you. Hopefully you will find some takeaways to apply to your own journey.

1. Recognizing that so many of our battles are waged in the mind, I chose to focus on God who is all-powerful and compassionate. The Bible tells me that God’s Name is El Elyon, God Most High, and that nothing can come into my life that is not first filtered through the fingers of God’s love. God knew before the foundation of the world that I would be here in this moment dealing with multiple life threatening health issues and he already provided the resources I would need to face it. God’s plan for me in every trial of every size is that I experience peace and victory, never defeat.

2. I chose to view this journey as a gift. Granted, it’s like expecting the newest and hottest new toy for Christmas and getting a pair of socks, but it’s still a gift. This is the time to draw near to God, to experience God more fully, to enjoy the simple joys of life, to focus on those things that are truly important. I will thank God every day for the gift of my health journey.

3. Although my health battle wants to be an all-encompassing issue in my life, I refuse to sink within myself. I will continue to reach out to people each day with a text, word of encouragement, act of service or prayer.

4. I will not ignore my emotions, which can be all over the place. I will allow myself to reflect as necessary in order to express my feelings, but I will not be ruled by them.

5. I will share what is happening to me with others and enlist their support and prayers. I cannot run this journey alone, and I will not rob others of the blessing they can receive by running with me.

6. I will make both short-term and long-term goals in order to have something in the future to look forward to. For example, I plan on continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride. I will continue to share my journey on this blog. I will continue to learn and experience new things in life.

7. I will find a reason to laugh and make my bride laugh every day. Laura and I have used humor (sometimes dark) to get us through the toughest moments of this journey.

8. I will remind myself that, in some inexplicable way, the manner in which I conduct myself during this crazy beautiful health journey, does indeed impact the lives around me. The book of Job tells us that humans sometimes get caught up in the battle between God and the enemy. Jesus Himself told His disciples upon their completion of a missionary journey, that God had seen Satan fall from heaven as a result of their actions.

9. I will endeavor to keep my life as “normal” as possible. I will continue my every-day activities as long as I am physically and mentally able. This will afford me the comfort of the predictable and common aspects of life as well as helping me not to slide into introspection and self-pity.

10. I will continue to praise, serve and thank Jesus for every moment of this journey. It has not been an easy one, but it has been filled with amazing lessons, experiences and memories.

Dear friends, I am praying for you. I am asking that you will be “sincere and blameless” (Philippians 1:10). The word “sincere” is a Greek word that grew out of a poor practice in the marketplace of the day. Everyone in that day used pottery for many tasks like we use plastic today. It was important that the pots be well made. Most were, but there were some unscrupulous pottery makers who would find a pot with cracks in it. Rather than discarding it, they would fill the crack with wax to cover it up. This would work as long as the pot sold early in the day. But after a longer time of sitting out in the hot Middle Eastern sun, the wax would melt and the cracks would show. The Apostle Paul prayed that the Philippians would avoid this by being sincere or “sun-tested.” May you, as you face the heat and pressures of this world, find yourself to be, by His grace, without wax. Blessings. ~OC

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Spoiler Alert

Today’s a new day! Spoiler Alert: God can use people who do not believe in him or call themselves Christians.

It is so easy to forget that God often uses non-Christians men and women to move His kingdom projects forward. It is a sad misunderstanding to assume God won’t, or can’t, use people who haven’t surrendered their life to Him. All throughout the scriptures we read numerous stories about how God used unbelievers to accomplish His great purposes. We cannot forget that people such as Moses weren’t the only instruments in God’s hand; God used the Pharaohs of the world too.

Furthermore, if we think evil is the only attribute God can use in pagans, then we’ve been misguided. God can use good qualities in ungodly people to accomplish His work too. One only needs to read the story of Rahab to see this play out. Check out Joshua 2:1-24.

Here’s a fact. Everyone who has ever walked this earth, was made in the image of God. Yes, we are all marked by sin and the sanctifying work of the Spirit helps the regenerate the brokenness, but all humans, saved or not, still carry God-like qualities deep inside.

The misguided view that God cannot use the good qualities of unbelievers for His plans could easily lead to an unhealthy us versus them mentality if we’re not careful. In reality God doesn’t side with Christians only, He sides with all humanity. Of course, God would love to reconcile the unbelieving world back to Himself, but He can use non-Christians and their good works to further that mission. Years ago, when I realized this fact, it revolutionized the way I view the world and the way I live. I began to see non-Christians for who they are and the wonderful talents they possess, instead of merely projects to be converted. This has motivated me to invite my non-Christian friends into the work/ministry I am involved with so they too can make a lasting difference just by offering a little bit of who they are.

So to my brothers and sisters in Christ, invite your non-Christians friends or friends of another faith to your next event. Their gifts could be a true blessing. ~OC

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Embrace Your “Can’t”

Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.

In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.

For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.

1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:

The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.

Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.

Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”

2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:

Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.

I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.

If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.

This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.

It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.

3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.

4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”

Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:

1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.

2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.

3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.

4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.

5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.

6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.

7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.

8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise

9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.

10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.

Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”

1. Pray

2. Journal

3. Reach out to family/friends

4. Reach out for professional help if needed

Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Embrace the Detours

Good Morning! Today’s a new day! This time 21 years ago, I was arriving at the hospital to have a golfball sized cancerous tumor removed from my chest. A lot of memories from that day. My mom and mom-in-love coming to take care of Laura and I. Family/friends hanging out at the hospital to pray and support Laura. The power going out at the hospital right before surgery. God giving me a vision during surgery that I would start running marathons and sharing my story (I was blessed to run 350 marathons). The doctor telling me that the team had gotten all of the tumor. Jesus was in the mist of the whole thing. Thankful He has blessed me with 21 more adventurous crazy beautiful years. Twenty-One years ago today the Today’s A New Day! writings started. As I continue walking through health issues, I encourage everyone to embrace the detours of life. ~OC

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Keep Soaring

Today’s a new day! I write this as another hurricane comes through Florida. A good majority of the state is still recovering from another hurricane that hit us just a few weeks ago. These back-to-back hurricanes got me to thinking.

One thing about the storms of life is they do not last forever. They come and go. It is the size of our faith in God that determines how we will make it through each storm we face. Overcoming the storms of life can be overwhelming at times. When going through the storms of life, our faith and focus should be on God, the author and the finisher of our faith, not our problems. Sometimes that is easier said than done. It is during the storms of life when our faith is tested.

The only way to overcome the storm is to face and confront it. Overcomers cannot afford to play hide and seek with challenges, but instead must choose to face and deal with them head on. The challenges we are facing are just for a short time. We can never allow them to rob us of our destiny. We can never give up on life, on our faith, on our family/friends, and on the important things in life. We must face the storms of life and trust God for a brighter future. God did not bring us this far to leave us. He has a purpose for our lives. The word of God says- But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 43:31. I do not know about you, but that gives me hope.

While all the other birds fly away from the storm with fear, an eagle spreads its mighty wings and uses the current to soar to greater heights. An eagle doesn’t run for safety during the storms, but rather, it takes advantage of it to soar to some higher spot. Storms need somebody who will not give up no matter how hard it is. During the storms, take advantage to pray harder and worship like never before. There are times when the storms of life hit us so hard, when the storms threaten to sweep away all that we have. I am talking about times when the storms take away our loved ones, when the storms take away our possessions. Those are the very times we need to stand up and face the storms head on. God is bigger than any storm we will ever face in life. To overcome the storms of life, we have to have faith which is bigger than the storms. Our life is not over until God says it is.

If we are going to overcome the storms of life, we must let go of certain things surrounding our lives. We have to let go of some people who are holding us back. We have to let go of all of our fears and doubts. We have to let go of everything that is weighing us down and soar to a higher spot. Leave gossipers to gossip, leave haters to hate. Overcomers do not have time to confront everyone who speaks against them. Those living without purpose have limited vision, but overcomers see beyond the storms. Your storm will not last forever. Keep soaring! ~OC

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Joy!

Today’s a new day! Being chronically ill comes with a lot of ups and downs and a wide range of emotions. These emotions can be so strong and overwhelming at times. As you walk through the different stages of being chronically ill, you are faced with a lot of situations that you could never prepare for and those moments can make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Physical health affects your mental, emotional and spiritual health more than people would think.

When you are chronically ill, your life becomes a vicious cycle of intense symptoms and flares. This can leave you feeling completely hopeless and lost at times. But even at moments when it feels impossible to find joy, it is possible, even on the darkest days. Some days you have to search a little harder for that joy but it is always there. Joy looks different to everyone. As a chronic illness warrior it is so important that you surround yourself with joy because it is easy to lose hope of experiencing pure joy again.

I find joy in many ways in my life and I really make an effort to make those things a part of my daily living. One of the main ways that I find joy/happiness is by leaning into my faith. My faith has allowed me to overcome a lot of tough moments in this journey. I also surround myself with the love and support of my family and the few friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. A supportive group of people have the ability to turn my bad days into great days. I am so thankful for each of them because they not only provide peace/joy, they also give me so much hope. I also find joy and happiness in doing things I love such as: writing,listening to music and making memories with my bride.

The past month has been filled with more tough news regarding my health. Looking back on the past month, joy has still there even in the darkest days. Sometimes during hard times things become so overwhelming that we forget that even then we can still find joy in the little things. It is okay to have bad days but it is so important that everyday we challenge ourselves to stop and find happiness and joy. Joy always outweighs the bad and it is so important that we remind ourselves of that. Have a great day! ~OC

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The Legacy of President Jimmy Carter

Today’s a new day! Yesterday, I had the honor of being in Plains, GA to celebrate former President Jimmy Carter’s 100th birthday. It was a wonderful day seeing old friends, meeting new friends and reflecting on the life of a man who has truly lived a life of honor.

As we are in the middle of another election, I spent some time reflecting over the legacy of past American presidents. The debate over a president’s legacy begins the moment they leave office. Sometimes sooner. I am sure everyone can make their case for who is or was the best and greatest president in the history of America. We could debate their contributions, records and everyone could weigh in with their memories and opinions. But I personally do not believe anyone can argue that the greatest post presidency does not belong to the 39th President of the United States from Plains, Georgia Jimmy Carter.

When President Carter and Mrs Carter left Washington, DC in 1981, the so called experts were in agreement that President Carter had failed and would be forgotten. That was not to be the case. Not even close. President and Mrs Carter would leave a major life changing legacy behind.

Upon leaving the White House, one of the first things the Carters did was to become closely identified with a nonprofit volunteer project, Habitat for Humanity. During its initial two decades, owing in large measure to the Carter’s involvement, Habitat became a household name in communities across the US, helping over 59 million people build or improve a place to call home. Well into their 90’s, President and Mrs. Carter were still spending one week each year volunteering with Habitat. The Carters became so identified with Habitat that when thinking of them, more Americans probably called to mind the Carters in denim with hammers in their hand more than the Carters dressed up for a formal dinner at the White House.

In 1982, just two years after leaving office, Carter further burnished his credentials as a great leader when they created the Carter Center, which described its role as “waging peace, fighting disease, and building hope.” Many of the Carter Center’s initiatives were led by President and Mrs. Carter, including monitoring elections in dozens of countries; negotiating peaceful resolutions to conflicts in Africa, Asia, and the Americas; under the leadership of President and Mrs. Carter the Center took on programs to help eradicate multiple diseases around the world including guinea worm. According to the Carter Center in Atlanta, Georgia, In 1986, the disease afflicted an estimated 3.5 million people a year in 21 countries in Africa and Asia. Today, thanks to the work of The Carter Center and its partners — including the countries themselves — the incidence of Guinea worm has been reduced by more than 99.99 percent to 14 provisional* human cases in 2023. Working tirelessly to address multiple global concerns, the Carters have established a legacy as the greatest of our former First Families.

My wife and I had the honor of meeting President and Mrs. Carter in 2019, as he taught Sunday School at Maranatha Baptist Church in Plains, GA. It was one one of highlights of my life. I had no idea how profoundly that day would change my life.

Yesterday, at the 100th birthday celebration, a group of us who all attended President Carter’s Sunday School class at different times, sat around a table reflecting and celebrating the life of the man who brought all of us together yesterday not as strangers, but as friends. That is one of the beautiful legacies of President and Mrs. Carter.

With all these wonderful memories flowing from my heart, I recall the words of President Carter from back in 2019, when sharing about his health, “I didn’t ask God to let me live, but I asked God to give me a proper attitude toward death. And I found that I was absolutely and completely at ease with death.”

This is the legacy of our 39th President Jimmy Carter. A humble man who has taught us how to live a life for others in service. As President Carter approaches the end of his life, he is teaching us another lesson about not only living a life with grace, but maybe more important how to die with grace. ~OC

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