Today’s a new day! An acquaintance has a little something in common with you and merely enjoys your company for a short time. A fair-weather friend flatters you when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. A true friend, on the other hand, has your very best interests at heart and will never decide your journey is too hard or messy. A true friend sticks with you until the end of the story. ~OC
Division
Today’s a new day! Division has always been a part of society, but I would say that in the last 10-15 years we have seen division grow to new heights. It seems to be hitting us on every level; national, regional, and individual. It has the potential to destroy what is precious to us if we yield to it. Division can separate us from those we love the most; it can take down sporting teams, companies and nations if left unchecked. The following is a few things I have tried to apply in my own life over the years to help overcome division. Not always successfully, but still striving for.
1). My enemy is the Enemy, not you. In Ephesians 6:12 we read the following words, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” The enemy doesn’t really care who you’re divided against, as long as there’s division. Why would the enemy want to stir up division? Because “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” The enemy’s objective is to lie, steal and destroy, and division is an effective way to accomplish all three.
2). Division will always result in disconnection and disconnect opens the door to disunity. I believe connecting with others is why we’re here. Each of us are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering. When we experience division between ourselves and another person or group, a good question to ask is, “What connection does the enemy want to steal from me?”
3). It is possible to stand up for a worthy cause, but do it with an incorrect attitude. When we see ourselves or others fighting for truth, justice, or anything good, but recognize wrong attitudes, it can be extremely confusing. A good question to ask ourselves when we find ourselves in the midst of disunity is: Am I dealing with pride? Is my perspective of those I feel divided against tainted with judgments rooted in criticism, self-righteousness or pride? Am I motivated by love, or by fear? In my experience with division, I have found that one “side” is rarely 100% right and the other 100% wrong. I have found people on different sides of an issue, often have a mix of right and wrong attitudes. I have found it helpful to ask God to reveal my own heart to me. David did this when he prayed, “Who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults.(Psalm 19:12)
4). Rejection and division often work hand in hand. This is where it is wise to remember your history with people. Choose to remember the times that they have been there for you during the storms of life. Ask yourself: “Is this rejection I’m feeling from this person or group a long-standing pattern? Or is this something new?” The enemy would love to steal the harvest of our lives…the years of faithful friendship we have had with one another. Let’s have the courage to press in and fight for the precious relationships that we’ve invested years in cultivating. Be willing to have the tough conversations. Even if we walk away with a “agree to disagree understanding.”
5). We also must walk through tough situations with the mindset of “Forgiveness is always on the table if we are to walk in unity and freedom.
6). When we pray for those we disagree with, our heart and perspective will often change. Praying to be unified in truth and in love can be a very strategic spiritual weapon against the evil one.
7). Venting or gossiping to others who are not part of the problem or the solution can bring anger, misunderstandings and division. Here’s the bottom line, none of us win when division is given the freedom to rule the day.
8). We have to be willing to look past our differences and agree to come to the table and talk about the things we have in common. Those conversations can lead to the harder conversations. Are you willing to sit at the table with those you disagree with?
I hope this blog post helps you in working with those you might disagree with. Let’s decide to live with the following in our hearts “Unity Over Self.” ~OC
Convenient Friendships
Today’s a new day! I really wish someone would’ve told me my circle of friends would dramatically shrink as my health began to decline. All of the sudden hanging out or staying in touch with me has became optional for most of my “friends.” Walking through this health journey is tough enough, without friends jumping ship and forgetting my number. Thankfully, I have a very small number of friends who do not treat me like an inconvenience. Thankful for their encouragement and true friendship. Also thankful God continues to walk out this journey right by my side.
I did not write the above for sympathy, but to bring to light how important friendships are to those with long term health issues. A phone call or visit can make a really tough day a little easier. But when those promised calls or visits do not happen, that can have such a negative impact on a person. So if you have a loved one who is walking through a season of health issues, do not forget about them. I can guarantee you they have not forgotten about you. Blessings. ~OC
Time
Today’s a new day! As I continue running this crazy beautiful health journey, the days are getting tougher. But as my body continues to decline, I push forward to continue living a life of significance. I want every moment to count. I wrote this a few weeks ago. Hopefully you will take some time to reflect on it.
As I reflect on this crazy beautiful journey, I must start with the beginning. I came into this world in December 1965. That was the year God put breath in my lungs.
Even though that day in ‘65 was a major moment in my life, what has happened since that day is what really matters. What have I done with the time that has been entrusted to me?
For that time represents all the opportunities that have come and gone since the winter of ‘65. Have I used this gift of time wisely?
What really hasn’t mattered is the material things I have collected over the years. Sometimes I cringe at the things bought on Amazon. But hey it sounded like a good deal at the time. The careers, money, houses may have been nice, but at the end of the day they were but fleeting.
As I move into the 4th quarter of this health journey, I want to make sure I am investing in things that truly matter. Most importantly, I want to invest in people that matter. Who are the people who matter? Everyone I encounter on this journey matters. Whether it’s a friend I have known since childhood or a new friend I just met on the elevator. Because at the end of the day, it’s our relationships that matter.
As I reflect back on the journey, are there things I would like to change? Yes there are. But I will never regret the time spent with family and friends. I will never regret the moments spent with loved ones laughing and crying. I will never regret the beautiful interruptions God has brought my way.
As I continue running this health journey, I want to slow down and experience what is real. What truly matters. I want to be slower to speak and quicker to listen. I want to be slower to anger and quicker to love. I want to be more willing to show forgiveness than to hold a grudge. I want to be known more for what I love and less known for what I dislike.
As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have been known by my multiple nicknames. I have been known for beating the odds in my health battle. Those are all nice, but the three things that matter to me the most is being known as a person who knows and loves God, a man who loves his amazing bride and a person who cares about his amazing friends and desires to be a great friend.
At some point this crazy beautiful health journey will come to an end. All of our journeys will eventually come to an end. My question to you and myself is this, “At the end of your journey, will you be happy with the way you lived out the precious time you were given?” ~OC
Here For You
Today’s a new day!
When the nights are long and sleep is a distant memory and your days are full of dark cloudy memories, I will be here for you
When the world feels like it’s moving a million miles an hour and you want to jump off, I will be here for you
When the world seems to have forgotten you and moved on, I will be here for you
When the doctors give you little hope your friends can’t be found, I will be here for you
When you feel alone in this broken and dark world, I will be here for you
When the rest of the world calls you crazy because you go against the grain, I will be here for you
When you decide to question everything you been taught and your friends and church question your faith, I will be here for you
When your lifestyle doesn’t align with those of your family and friends, I will be here for you
When you decide to speak up and be bold, I will be here for you
When the rest of the world misses out on your beauty and promise, I will be here for you
When you need to laugh or cry, I will be here for you
When the world thinks your ideals are but a pipe dream, I will be here for you
When your journey takes you down a winding and uncertain road, I will be here for you
When you need a second or hundredth chance, I will be here for you
You never have to walk this journey alone, I will walk with you anyway you need me to
I never want to miss a chance to show you, I will always be here for you
It’s gonna be okay, I will be here for you
I’ll be here, I’ll be here
Anyway you need
I’ll be here for you
~OC
In the Boat
Today’s a new day! At one point during my beautiful life, my friendship list looked like a big cruise ship. Many people laughing and having fun. Life was great. Then I got sick and the boat began to get smaller. Of course that was tough to endure, but God gave me peace.
Then I experienced a beautiful miracle and all of the sudden the boat started getting bigger, but most of the relationships were not real. They were based on what God had done in my life. People cared more about the miracle than they did about me. Once again tough to endure, but God guided me through this trial. He even told me on a walk one early morning, that my inner circle would get even smaller. There would be fewer people sitting in my boat. This did not scare me. It actually gave me great peace.
Then a few months ago, I was diagnosed with dementia and more friends jumped off the boat. This time I was prepared for it. Less phone calls checking in or returning my calls or text. God had clearly prepared me for this time. That does not mean there was not some pain and disappointment. It hurt. Thankfully God continues to carry me through this season.
As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful journey called life, I cling to the friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. The ones who actually reach out to me without any prompting and reassure me they are never leaving the boat regardless of how big the waves get. We will endure together. How blessed I am to have these people in the boat with me. Beautiful bright lights to travel with on this beautiful symphony called life. It brings me great encouragement as I move through the different seasons of life.
As I wrote the words above, I realized I have never needed rescuing from the boat. God has always been in the boat with me. He has never thought about abandoning me. Once again, I am thankful for those God has chosen to ride the waves with me in the boat. But more importantly, my hope and peace comes from God who created the boat and me. The One who can calm the raging seas with just a whisper.
As you walk through the storms of life, look around and see who’s still in the boat with you. When you find them cherish them. Never take your tribe for granted. During the storms of life, learn to sit in the boat with others. Embrace those in the boat. Encourage those in the boat. Empower those in the boat. Live life together in the boat. ~OC
Game Plan
Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I thought I would share my game plan with you. Hopefully you will find some takeaways to apply to your own journey.
1. Recognizing that so many of our battles are waged in the mind, I chose to focus on God who is all-powerful and compassionate. The Bible tells me that God’s Name is El Elyon, God Most High, and that nothing can come into my life that is not first filtered through the fingers of God’s love. God knew before the foundation of the world that I would be here in this moment dealing with multiple life threatening health issues and he already provided the resources I would need to face it. God’s plan for me in every trial of every size is that I experience peace and victory, never defeat.
2. I chose to view this journey as a gift. Granted, it’s like expecting the newest and hottest new toy for Christmas and getting a pair of socks, but it’s still a gift. This is the time to draw near to God, to experience God more fully, to enjoy the simple joys of life, to focus on those things that are truly important. I will thank God every day for the gift of my health journey.
3. Although my health battle wants to be an all-encompassing issue in my life, I refuse to sink within myself. I will continue to reach out to people each day with a text, word of encouragement, act of service or prayer.
4. I will not ignore my emotions, which can be all over the place. I will allow myself to reflect as necessary in order to express my feelings, but I will not be ruled by them.
5. I will share what is happening to me with others and enlist their support and prayers. I cannot run this journey alone, and I will not rob others of the blessing they can receive by running with me.
6. I will make both short-term and long-term goals in order to have something in the future to look forward to. For example, I plan on continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride. I will continue to share my journey on this blog. I will continue to learn and experience new things in life.
7. I will find a reason to laugh and make my bride laugh every day. Laura and I have used humor (sometimes dark) to get us through the toughest moments of this journey.
8. I will remind myself that, in some inexplicable way, the manner in which I conduct myself during this crazy beautiful health journey, does indeed impact the lives around me. The book of Job tells us that humans sometimes get caught up in the battle between God and the enemy. Jesus Himself told His disciples upon their completion of a missionary journey, that God had seen Satan fall from heaven as a result of their actions.
9. I will endeavor to keep my life as “normal” as possible. I will continue my every-day activities as long as I am physically and mentally able. This will afford me the comfort of the predictable and common aspects of life as well as helping me not to slide into introspection and self-pity.
10. I will continue to praise, serve and thank Jesus for every moment of this journey. It has not been an easy one, but it has been filled with amazing lessons, experiences and memories.
Dear friends, I am praying for you. I am asking that you will be “sincere and blameless” (Philippians 1:10). The word “sincere” is a Greek word that grew out of a poor practice in the marketplace of the day. Everyone in that day used pottery for many tasks like we use plastic today. It was important that the pots be well made. Most were, but there were some unscrupulous pottery makers who would find a pot with cracks in it. Rather than discarding it, they would fill the crack with wax to cover it up. This would work as long as the pot sold early in the day. But after a longer time of sitting out in the hot Middle Eastern sun, the wax would melt and the cracks would show. The Apostle Paul prayed that the Philippians would avoid this by being sincere or “sun-tested.” May you, as you face the heat and pressures of this world, find yourself to be, by His grace, without wax. Blessings. ~OC
Spoiler Alert
Today’s a new day! Spoiler Alert: God can use people who do not believe in him or call themselves Christians.
It is so easy to forget that God often uses non-Christians men and women to move His kingdom projects forward. It is a sad misunderstanding to assume God won’t, or can’t, use people who haven’t surrendered their life to Him. All throughout the scriptures we read numerous stories about how God used unbelievers to accomplish His great purposes. We cannot forget that people such as Moses weren’t the only instruments in God’s hand; God used the Pharaohs of the world too.
Furthermore, if we think evil is the only attribute God can use in pagans, then we’ve been misguided. God can use good qualities in ungodly people to accomplish His work too. One only needs to read the story of Rahab to see this play out. Check out Joshua 2:1-24.
Here’s a fact. Everyone who has ever walked this earth, was made in the image of God. Yes, we are all marked by sin and the sanctifying work of the Spirit helps the regenerate the brokenness, but all humans, saved or not, still carry God-like qualities deep inside.
The misguided view that God cannot use the good qualities of unbelievers for His plans could easily lead to an unhealthy us versus them mentality if we’re not careful. In reality God doesn’t side with Christians only, He sides with all humanity. Of course, God would love to reconcile the unbelieving world back to Himself, but He can use non-Christians and their good works to further that mission. Years ago, when I realized this fact, it revolutionized the way I view the world and the way I live. I began to see non-Christians for who they are and the wonderful talents they possess, instead of merely projects to be converted. This has motivated me to invite my non-Christian friends into the work/ministry I am involved with so they too can make a lasting difference just by offering a little bit of who they are.
So to my brothers and sisters in Christ, invite your non-Christians friends or friends of another faith to your next event. Their gifts could be a true blessing. ~OC
Embrace Your “Can’t”
Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.
In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.
For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.
As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.
Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.
I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.
1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:
The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.
Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.
Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”
2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:
Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.
I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.
If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.
This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.
It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.
3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.
4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”
Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:
1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.
2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.
3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.
4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.
5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.
6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.
7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.
8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise
9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.
10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.
Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”
1. Pray
2. Journal
3. Reach out to family/friends
4. Reach out for professional help if needed
Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Embrace the Detours
Good Morning! Today’s a new day! This time 21 years ago, I was arriving at the hospital to have a golfball sized cancerous tumor removed from my chest. A lot of memories from that day. My mom and mom-in-love coming to take care of Laura and I. Family/friends hanging out at the hospital to pray and support Laura. The power going out at the hospital right before surgery. God giving me a vision during surgery that I would start running marathons and sharing my story (I was blessed to run 350 marathons). The doctor telling me that the team had gotten all of the tumor. Jesus was in the mist of the whole thing. Thankful He has blessed me with 21 more adventurous crazy beautiful years. Twenty-One years ago today the Today’s A New Day! writings started. As I continue walking through health issues, I encourage everyone to embrace the detours of life. ~OC
The Blessed Overcomer 