Tag: Friendship

Be Kind

Today’s a new day! BE KIND, OR BE QUIET.

This is a Kindergarten rule, you guys. It’s the most basic of the basics. Either choose your words with kindness, or keep your mouth shut and just listen.
Fear and anger and hate are already running high, friends. There is no room for more.

And honestly, there should be no room for any of it. Not within the body of Christ. As Christians, our hope does not lie in the law of the land. Our hope lies in Jesus, his crucifixion and his resurrection. This is a hope that is firm and secure, an anchor for our souls. Is not this the hope that we should be sharing with everyone we come in contact with? Regardless of religious, social, economic or political differences.

Instead of arguing with one another, I suggest we focus our efforts on something that actually furthers the Gospel of Christ.

*We love our neighbor by baking cookies, inviting them over for a meal, or stopping to talk with them in the yard, and get to know them better.

*We serve our communities by offering our time and our gifts.

*We listen, we watch, we pray, and then we reach out in kindness and love.

*We immerse ourselves in the Word of God so that we can grow in knowledge and discernment.

*We treat all people with love and respect.

*We remember that life is not all about us.

*And for goodness sakes be kind. Or just keep our sweet mouths shut.

And all God’s people said…Amen. ~OC

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Woke

Today’s a new day! Several years after the horrific mass shooting at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, SC, Laura and I visited the church. It was a sobering and powerful experience.

I also remember that being the first time someone referred to me as being “Woke.” It was said in a very loving and respectful way. Unfortunately, that is not always the case when the word “Woke” is used in today’s politically charged world. As a white Christian in America, I am saddened that so many politicians, pastors and Christians misinterpret the word “Woke” to suit their own biased ideology.

Some politicians and pastors have the nerve, for example, to quote Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. when he spoke at the March on Washington in 1963 and shared the following words, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Dr. King was projecting a vision of a world without racism, where people would see each other as friends, neighbors, and fellow human beings. But some politicians, pastors and Christians have twisted Dr. King’s words to insist that we should ignore racism right now, stop teaching about it, and pretend it does not exist. They use his words to justify laws on teaching about or discussing the racism in the here and now. They use his appeal for an unrealized future to blind us to a cruel present.

Today, I propose that we make a concerted effort to reclaim the original meaning of the word Woke. So many politicians, pastors and Christians have turned the word into a shameful four-letter word. Have they even taken the time to look up the true definition of WOKE? I have. The original meaning of the word Woke is “Being aware of injustice and inequality, specifically when referring to racism.” What is wrong with that?

I strive to be aware of injustice and inequality and racial discrimination and to do whatever I can to help educate and make things better. I believe as humans we should all do that.

So yes, I will wear the tag of “Woke” with honor. I pray that Dr. King’s “Dream” someday will become a reality in America and around the world. But we have a lot of work to do. Let’s Go! ~OC

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Love Our Neighbors…No Exceptions

Today’s a new day! In the age of social media and partisan cable news, one of the most common questions I get as a Christian is how do I stay in relationship with the family member or friend who believes differently than I do? It can be difficult when we are all firing off text and social media post without giving it any thought or even taking a breath. Things can get nasty and personal real quick.

I recommend that each of us get in the habit of never posting a quick reply to another person’s post or text we disagree with. This can be difficult. We so desperately want to share our opinions. If something someone has posted or shared really bothers you, take a day to think about it and then message them. Maybe you need to type something out to get your feelings on screen.  If you’re like me, once you get your feelings out, you realize there is no real need to push send.

Sometimes you may need to adjust the settings on your email or social media to “mute” a certain person’s messages. They don’t have to know you aren’t reading the stuff they are sharing and forwarding to you.  You can spare yourself and them the awkward discussion of why you “unfriended” them.

Other times you may have to take the hard step of “un-friending” someone or maybe just letting that person know you need to communicate with them in other ways besides social media, text or email, because you can’t keep your emotions in check. I’ve had to make this move with some close friends, because what they share or post provokes a reaction in me I don’t like.  I’m pretty sure the stuff I share and post has caused that same kind of reaction in them. I’m definitely sure that what either of has posted has never changed their mind or mine.

Finally, there are those people who share such negative and personal things that it may amount to emotional abuse. In such cases, setting firm boundaries is necessary for your own well-being and health. Loving your neighbor can only happen from a safe distance with some people.

Remember the biggest companies with the smartest minds are working non-stop to keep us glued to our phone, tablet and computer. They make money and lots of it, the longer we keep using their app or watching their channel. The easiest way to keep us making money for them is to keep us outraged. There are genuine things to be outraged about in the world, but few of them are ever changed by a shared social media post, a forwarded email or text.

Sadly, our culture does not reward maintaining relationships with people different from ourselves. It rewards outrage and remaining in your own bubble. Yet, if we are really going to “Love our neighbor. No exceptions.” it has to cut both ways.

Nobody ever said this Christian life would be easy. ~OC

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Love is Choosing…

Today’s a new day! In John 13:35, we read the following words: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Yesterday, someone I know attacked me in a private message for sharing a post about how we should love and respect women in power. It was a post to encourage everyone to show love and respect to women. This friend decided my post was somehow a political statement and decided to lash out and end our friendship.

I chose not to respond to this friend’s message. Instead, I chose to pray for this person and anyone else who might have such hate in their hearts. I decided to show love and forgiveness.

Love should never be a debate. But sometimes we, even as Christians, can get so caught up in being right, that we forget what really matters. This is sadly evident on social media. It saddens me when I think of the ways so many people treat each other on these platforms. So many sides, so many opinions, yelling back and forth at each other, each claiming they are right. It breaks my heart seeing all the angry post and unkind comments.

Is all this hate worth it?

The only thing that matters in the end is not whether the other person was wrong or right, but that we showed them love, that we showed them who God is. Because the truth is, as Christians we have a freedom and a hope that is life changing. In the light of eternity, we do not have to prove ourselves right on every issue; instead, we can live our lives marked by love. We can never argue people into believing the Gospel, but God’s love can draw them to the Gospel.

Think about this: Jesus died for that gay or transgender person, Jesus died for that corrupt politician, Jesus died for the person who wrote that post that made you so angry or sad. Jesus died for them, because He loves them.

Now, don’t get me wrong, loving someone doesn’t mean you agree with everything they say, or that you just accept everything as right. Sometimes, loving someone means having tough, but constructive conversations. This can be difficult. But it’s all about how we express ourselves in our words and actions.

Instead of shaming someone for what they think, we can respectfully disagree. Instead of letting our anger or fear get the better of us on social media, stick to what you believe while letting others know that they are loved. Showing love in the middle of a disagreement can be a beautiful gift.

Let love be the attitude you show towards others. I may not agree with you, but I love you despite that, because God loves me despite all of my flaws.

If we make the choice to live a life of love, people will notice, and they will wonder why we are so different. Especially now, during these times of so much hate and division. We need to step up and let our light shine more than ever.

What is love? In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 love is described this way:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all thing.”

What a beautiful picture of love. Patient, kind, not self-seeking. Ask yourself this: What do you want to be known for in this life? How do you want to live your life?

As we run this journey called life, will we mess up? Say the wrong thing. Post the wrong thing. Absolutely! But God never expects perfection from us. No, He only asks us to take one small step, one act of love, and trust that He will continue to grow us.

How do we grow in love?

First, and most important, we pray. If we ask God to grow us in any area of our lives, He is faithful to answer. Not always in a way we might choose, but in a way that’s best for us.

We can share love and hope in every area of our lives. Even on social media. We can choose to post encouraging messages on our pages. We can choose to scroll past the debates that stir up anger in us. We can choose not to get involved in the madness.

As we read 1 Corinthian 13:1-3, we see how love should be behind all of our actions:

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

As we continue to grow and walk out this journey called life, we can choose to do the following:

Love is choosing to respect and serve others…

Love is choosing not to judge others…

Love is choosing to be a bright light in a dark world…

Love is choosing to stand up against hate and racism…

Love is choosing to embrace diversity…

Love is choosing to admit when we’re wrong…

Love is God’s heart for each of us…

I believe that love has the power to change both our hearts, and this broken world. I will always choose love. ~OC

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Old Friends

Today’s a new day! I woke up this morning, walked out on our balcony that overlooks my old high school (Twin Lakes High School / Palm Beach High School). It made me think a minute about some old friends.

Back in the day, I missed my friends on Summer Break. I loved a break from school. Loved getting to visit out of town family and playing sports all day. But a few weeks into the break, I would start missing my friends from school that did not live close by. Kinda felt like I wasn’t my whole self without them. No cell phones or social media back in the day. So between school and after school activities we would basically go from spending all day every day together to zero contact over the summer. Ouch. What was I gonna do call my friends on the phone that was attached to the wall several times a day and check in? Yes! That’s what a lot of us did back in the day. We made the effort to stay in touch. I fondly remember talking to some friends for hours on the phone.

As I reflect back on my high school years, I couldn’t wait for school to start back to see all of my friends. Yes, I was that person. Life was always better with friends around. I am thankful that God created me to be a person who really wants to connect with others. I can do the surface conversations, but I truly love having meaningful conversations. Always have. Of course being a teenage guy, that was not the norm. That’s probably why I have always had more female friends than guy friends. As I recall, there was not a lot of meaningful conversations with a lot of my guy friends back then. No real sentiments would be shared. I do not think we hugged back then. We would just be together, probably swap stories and just catch up. I am thankful for the few guys that were willing to open up and be real.

I look at my friends as family. I am blessed to still have friends from elementary school. I hope I have never taken my friendships for granted. But sadly, I probably have. For that I apologize. True friends are a beautiful gift. Especially when you’re young. Part of who we are today is because of the friends we had back in our younger days. Of course that could be a little scary. Haha!

As I continue walking through this crazy beautiful health journey, friendships mean a lot more to me these days. Every day is becoming more of a struggle for me at this time, but my days are brightened when I hear from a friend or a friend drops by. Especially when a childhood friend connects with me.

We were all created for relationships. Especially friendships. I believe in the old saying, you cannot pick your family, but thankfully you can choose your friends. My life has been blessed with amazing friendships. I am thankful for those friends who have chosen to walk with me through life. Especially those friends who have stayed by my side during this crazy beautiful health journey. You will never realize the difference you have made in my life. Thank you!

So today, take time to remember the beautiful friendships you have experienced over the years. Never take one for granted. Take time today, to reach out to a friend. You may just brighten their day. ~OC

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Not Political

Good morning. Sorry this is a little long, but I wanted to share.

Today’s a new day! We are walking through what will be my least favorite part of 2024. The upcoming election.

Can I be honest for a minute? For me, the past few election cycles have felt like being the child in the middle of a brutal custody battle between two scorned parents. Just my opinion.

How many social media posts have you seen the past few years that went something along the lines of “If you vote for ‘insert candidate of choice here’ go ahead and unfriend me?” Or “If you believe ‘insert single issue belief here’ go ahead and unfriend me?” I have friends and family – people I love and respect – on both sides of the political aisle, and what makes this ongoing disunity even more difficult to watch is that a lot of these people profess to be followers of Jesus.

I have seen the religious vote (and the moral high ground) claimed by both the right and left. People from each political party claiming Jesus teachings as their own. But let me share some truth with you. No political party or politician has the market cornered on Christian beliefs. Despite religious rhetoric or faith-based endorsements, both the Republican, Democratic and Independent parties fall painfully short of the gospel.

And why shouldn’t they? All political parties are flawed organizations that are not tasked with carrying out the gospel. And therein lies the problem: too many people’s identities have become more wrapped up in their political affiliation than in their identity in Jesus.

As this election year heats up, I have heard people from both sides of the political aisle scream “You cannot be a Christian if you support this candidate or that candidate. “You cannot truly be a Christian if you vote for or against a certain amendment.

These statements and those like them should not be spoken from the pulpit or shared on social media. Because Jesus is not a Republican, Democrat or an Independent. Sorry to burst your bubble. Our salvation does not depend on a political party or who you vote for. Our salvation depends solely on Jesus. We cannot vote our way into (or out of) the Kingdom of Heaven. Since our salvation is not dependent on any political stance, that means that our beliefs on education, healthcare, immigration, LGBT rights, or any other hot topic issue does not make or break our identity in Christ. What Jesus did for us on the Cross is so much bigger than a political party, candidate or how we vote.

We are living in dangerous times when a group of people decide their worldview is the only legitimate Christian view. It makes me remember the Pharisees and religious leaders from the Bible who expected Jesus to come and overthrow Rome, and to show them that their way was the only true way. But Jesus never did that. If you truly study scripture, He often did the exact opposite to the dismay of the religious leaders.

As I study the Bible, I read scripture after scripture that commands us to love our enemies. That seems easy enough because we think we do not have any enemies. Right? But what about that person you stopped talking to because their political views did not match yours? What about that friend you unfriended because they support something you’re against? Let’s be honest, in this time of division we all need to check our hearts.

As Christians we talk a lot about winning souls for Jesus. To bring a little bit of Heaven to earth. But are we truly doing that? According to Jesus, the Kingdom he talked about was not about a political party. The Kingdom of God isn’t something we simply hope for when we die – It is something we are to make here on earth as it is in heaven. We are called to unite with other believers (even if we disagree with them) to help bring together a world that is divided, hateful and honestly a complete mess right now. As Christians we must realize that the Kingdom of God will never be fully realized through worldly governments and politicians. It will only be realized through the radical life changing love of Jesus.

We have been sold fear for so long, that we are afraid of anyone that is ‘other’ than us. For some, their identities have become so wrapped up in political parties that they have dehumanized those across the political aisle. But as I study scripture, I read that as Christians we are suppose to be the ones that welcome EVERYONE to the table. As believers we can no longer hide behind a computer or claim working for unity and what is right is too hard. We have to take a seat at the table and have constructive discussions with everyone. ~OC

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Let Go To Grow

Several people have inquired about Todd taking an indefinite break from social media and sharing his daily thoughts. He wanted to share a few thoughts about his decision to take some time away from the world of social media.

Today’s a new day! When I hear God speak to my heart, I have learned that it serves me well to listen.

So a few weeks ago, I heard God share that it was time to take a break from social media. Then I started questioning the role of social media in my life, comparing and contrasting the pros and cons of it. I have taken breaks before so I thought about those times, too. Then it pretty much dawned on me as the following words were impressed upon me in a real way:

I was not created to spend so much time on social media. These platforms should not take away from time reading, journaling, praying and most importantly spending quality face to face time with real people.

There are some beautiful benefits about social media. They allow us to interact with old friends and meet some amazing people from all over the world. To stay in touch with loved ones. To read and hear about their life experiences. To pray for people. All amazing things. The problem is that social media always demanded more than I truly wanted to give.

The different social media platforms offer us endless opportunities to share our everyday lives, to pose questions, share world events, our opinions and photos of our favorite foods. There is always something to post or respond to. For me, it never stopped. If I missed a day of posting, I would have multiple people reaching out to me asking why I did not post. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a lot of pressure.

The good and bad thing with social media for me personally, is that I really tried to use my accounts to encourage and love on people. I could probably sit around all day long and just be corresponding with people. People feel comfortable sharing their life journey with me. So many people feel like they’re stuck or they’re hopeless. So they would reach out to me. I found myself pouring so much of myself out into so many people. Not complaining because it’s always my honor to connect with people willing to share their amazing life experiences with me. But a few weeks ago, I realized if I truly wanted to help and serve people, I needed to make sure that I was taking care of myself. Which was not always the case.

So, I have officially been off social media and not sharing daily thoughts for about a week. I have used that time to focus more on the truly important things in my life. I have enjoyed a quieter and less hectic week. Being off social media has given me the beautiful gift of rest and peace.

Will I return to social media at some point? I am not really sure. As I have taken a break from social media, God has given me this simple phrase “Let Go to Grow.” ~OC

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Love, Forgiveness and Grace

Today’s a new day! Attention to all Christians. Before you jump on social media and start posting, ask yourself a few questions before clicking the send button.

1). Is what I am about to post judgmental, gossip, hateful or even true?

2). Is what I am about to post going to unite or divide?

3). Is what I am about to post going to add or delete from someone’s life?

4). Is what I am about to post going drive people closer to God or push them further away?

Our conversations online and in person should be filled with love, respect and words that encourage people. We do not have to agree with people on everything in order to love and respect them. As Christians, we should be inviting everyone to the table. As Christians our friendships should be filled with diversity. As Christians, we should be building bridges; not walls. Remember as Christians, it’s not our job to judge anyone. As Christians, we should be the first ones showing love, forgiveness and grace. ~OC

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Come Together

Today’s a new day! God, you created all of us in your beautiful image. Open our hearts and minds to this truth. Help us to recognize that all of us, regardless of skin color are your children. Dear God, help us build bridges of community and hope and not walls of hate and separation. Teach us to love, serve and listen. Open our eyes to the sin of racism. Give us the boldness and courage to stand up against the evil of racism and all hate. Dear God, teach us to celebrate our differences and to see diversity as a strength and not a weakness. Bless us with grace and patience to work together to end racism and hate in our world. Dear God, give each of us the desire to truly live together as brothers and sisters. Amen. ~OC

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The 4th Quarter. Finish Strong!

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I look at my race like a football game. A football game is made up of four quarters. As Laura and I discuss the current state of my health, we both believe I have entered the 4th quarter of my health journey. We do not believe there will an overtime. This is not us giving up, but being up front and honest about my current situation. We are so excited to see how God is going to use this 4th quarter.

A side note: Laura and I have to laugh when my medical team continually makes the comment “Todd you look really good for someone who is dying.” It reminds us of the promise God made years ago that I would never act or look sick.

As I run this 4th quarter, I want to make the most out of whatever time I have left. Not a second wasted. I want every moment to matter.

I believe I am in the most important quarter in life. The 4th Quarter. It does not matter how I started the game, but how I finish is what truly matters.

A lot of people look at my current health condition and encourage me to slow down. But that is not what I am hearing from God. No, what I am hearing from God is to keep running. To keep playing the game. To press in even more to share the story God has given me with more urgency. To continue making champions for God.

So, I will continue to run the race God designed for me. I will continue to spend time with family and friends. I will continue to have beautiful moments of conversations. I will continue to invite friends over, to sit on the balcony and hear their stories. I will continue to share love and encouragement with everyone God brings my way. I will embrace the beautiful interruptions of life.

Though my body may be quickly declining, my faith is growing stronger every day. I am spending more time in prayer and God’s word. I am excited to see how the Holy Spirit is working like a skilled surgeon and digging out any junk I might be holding onto. I continue to pursue righteousness and purity. I am more dedicated to prayer. I am thankful for those friends who chose to run the race with me. I continue to desire good fruit. I still desire for God to use every part of my life. To continue sharing the hope and love of Jesus with everyone.

I believe God is most pleased to use a willing heart. A willing vessel. My hope and prayer is that I finish the 4 Quarter strong. With nothing else to give. Amen. ~OC

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