Tag: Friendship

Keep Soaring

Today’s a new day! I write this as another hurricane comes through Florida. A good majority of the state is still recovering from another hurricane that hit us just a few weeks ago. These back-to-back hurricanes got me to thinking.

One thing about the storms of life is they do not last forever. They come and go. It is the size of our faith in God that determines how we will make it through each storm we face. Overcoming the storms of life can be overwhelming at times. When going through the storms of life, our faith and focus should be on God, the author and the finisher of our faith, not our problems. Sometimes that is easier said than done. It is during the storms of life when our faith is tested.

The only way to overcome the storm is to face and confront it. Overcomers cannot afford to play hide and seek with challenges, but instead must choose to face and deal with them head on. The challenges we are facing are just for a short time. We can never allow them to rob us of our destiny. We can never give up on life, on our faith, on our family/friends, and on the important things in life. We must face the storms of life and trust God for a brighter future. God did not bring us this far to leave us. He has a purpose for our lives. The word of God says- But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 43:31. I do not know about you, but that gives me hope.

While all the other birds fly away from the storm with fear, an eagle spreads its mighty wings and uses the current to soar to greater heights. An eagle doesn’t run for safety during the storms, but rather, it takes advantage of it to soar to some higher spot. Storms need somebody who will not give up no matter how hard it is. During the storms, take advantage to pray harder and worship like never before. There are times when the storms of life hit us so hard, when the storms threaten to sweep away all that we have. I am talking about times when the storms take away our loved ones, when the storms take away our possessions. Those are the very times we need to stand up and face the storms head on. God is bigger than any storm we will ever face in life. To overcome the storms of life, we have to have faith which is bigger than the storms. Our life is not over until God says it is.

If we are going to overcome the storms of life, we must let go of certain things surrounding our lives. We have to let go of some people who are holding us back. We have to let go of all of our fears and doubts. We have to let go of everything that is weighing us down and soar to a higher spot. Leave gossipers to gossip, leave haters to hate. Overcomers do not have time to confront everyone who speaks against them. Those living without purpose have limited vision, but overcomers see beyond the storms. Your storm will not last forever. Keep soaring! ~OC

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Joy!

Today’s a new day! Being chronically ill comes with a lot of ups and downs and a wide range of emotions. These emotions can be so strong and overwhelming at times. As you walk through the different stages of being chronically ill, you are faced with a lot of situations that you could never prepare for and those moments can make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Physical health affects your mental, emotional and spiritual health more than people would think.

When you are chronically ill, your life becomes a vicious cycle of intense symptoms and flares. This can leave you feeling completely hopeless and lost at times. But even at moments when it feels impossible to find joy, it is possible, even on the darkest days. Some days you have to search a little harder for that joy but it is always there. Joy looks different to everyone. As a chronic illness warrior it is so important that you surround yourself with joy because it is easy to lose hope of experiencing pure joy again.

I find joy in many ways in my life and I really make an effort to make those things a part of my daily living. One of the main ways that I find joy/happiness is by leaning into my faith. My faith has allowed me to overcome a lot of tough moments in this journey. I also surround myself with the love and support of my family and the few friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. A supportive group of people have the ability to turn my bad days into great days. I am so thankful for each of them because they not only provide peace/joy, they also give me so much hope. I also find joy and happiness in doing things I love such as: writing,listening to music and making memories with my bride.

The past month has been filled with more tough news regarding my health. Looking back on the past month, joy has still there even in the darkest days. Sometimes during hard times things become so overwhelming that we forget that even then we can still find joy in the little things. It is okay to have bad days but it is so important that everyday we challenge ourselves to stop and find happiness and joy. Joy always outweighs the bad and it is so important that we remind ourselves of that. Have a great day! ~OC

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The Legacy of President Jimmy Carter

Today’s a new day! Yesterday, I had the honor of being in Plains, GA to celebrate former President Jimmy Carter’s 100th birthday. It was a wonderful day seeing old friends, meeting new friends and reflecting on the life of a man who has truly lived a life of honor.

As we are in the middle of another election, I spent some time reflecting over the legacy of past American presidents. The debate over a president’s legacy begins the moment they leave office. Sometimes sooner. I am sure everyone can make their case for who is or was the best and greatest president in the history of America. We could debate their contributions, records and everyone could weigh in with their memories and opinions. But I personally do not believe anyone can argue that the greatest post presidency does not belong to the 39th President of the United States from Plains, Georgia Jimmy Carter.

When President Carter and Mrs Carter left Washington, DC in 1981, the so called experts were in agreement that President Carter had failed and would be forgotten. That was not to be the case. Not even close. President and Mrs Carter would leave a major life changing legacy behind.

Upon leaving the White House, one of the first things the Carters did was to become closely identified with a nonprofit volunteer project, Habitat for Humanity. During its initial two decades, owing in large measure to the Carter’s involvement, Habitat became a household name in communities across the US, helping over 59 million people build or improve a place to call home. Well into their 90’s, President and Mrs. Carter were still spending one week each year volunteering with Habitat. The Carters became so identified with Habitat that when thinking of them, more Americans probably called to mind the Carters in denim with hammers in their hand more than the Carters dressed up for a formal dinner at the White House.

In 1982, just two years after leaving office, Carter further burnished his credentials as a great leader when they created the Carter Center, which described its role as “waging peace, fighting disease, and building hope.” Many of the Carter Center’s initiatives were led by President and Mrs. Carter, including monitoring elections in dozens of countries; negotiating peaceful resolutions to conflicts in Africa, Asia, and the Americas; under the leadership of President and Mrs. Carter the Center took on programs to help eradicate multiple diseases around the world including guinea worm. According to the Carter Center in Atlanta, Georgia, In 1986, the disease afflicted an estimated 3.5 million people a year in 21 countries in Africa and Asia. Today, thanks to the work of The Carter Center and its partners — including the countries themselves — the incidence of Guinea worm has been reduced by more than 99.99 percent to 14 provisional* human cases in 2023. Working tirelessly to address multiple global concerns, the Carters have established a legacy as the greatest of our former First Families.

My wife and I had the honor of meeting President and Mrs. Carter in 2019, as he taught Sunday School at Maranatha Baptist Church in Plains, GA. It was one one of highlights of my life. I had no idea how profoundly that day would change my life.

Yesterday, at the 100th birthday celebration, a group of us who all attended President Carter’s Sunday School class at different times, sat around a table reflecting and celebrating the life of the man who brought all of us together yesterday not as strangers, but as friends. That is one of the beautiful legacies of President and Mrs. Carter.

With all these wonderful memories flowing from my heart, I recall the words of President Carter from back in 2019, when sharing about his health, “I didn’t ask God to let me live, but I asked God to give me a proper attitude toward death. And I found that I was absolutely and completely at ease with death.”

This is the legacy of our 39th President Jimmy Carter. A humble man who has taught us how to live a life for others in service. As President Carter approaches the end of his life, he is teaching us another lesson about not only living a life with grace, but maybe more important how to die with grace. ~OC

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I Asked…

Today’s a new day! As I have posted some videos about my current trip to Plains, GA for President Jimmy Carter’s 100th Birthday Celebration, several people have reached out and shared they wished they would have known I was coming because they would have loved to make the trip with me. I was like what?

I just checked my past text and social media post and back at the first of August, I sent out text, messages and social media posts inviting people to join me on this trip. I knew back then before my dementia diagnosis, that traveling by myself was not a good idea. And Laura’s busy work schedule did not allow for her to make the trip with me. I also had numerous conversations with friends on the phone and in person about this trip. Several shared they were interested, but never followed through. Only one friend stepped up and shared he would go. I am thankful he did.

So while I am sorry many are missing out on this amazing trip, it’s not because you were not asked. It’s because you chose not to respond. I am not mad at you, but do not act like you were not invited.~OC

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When Life Knocks You Down

Today’s a new day! This has been a tough week for me mentally, physically emotionally and spiritually. I heard words from doctors this week that have not been promising. This week has made me press into my faith even more.

It’s easy to have faith when life is treating you well. When everything is working out. It’s much harder to have faith when you are facing challenges in your life. But that is exactly when you need to apply your faith. When you need to lean into your faith even deeper. Because faith is believing beyond the grime diagnosis from the doctors.

Faith is taking the first step.
Faith is jumping in the deep end and trusting everything will be okay.
It was easier to be positive back in the day, when I could lace up my running shoes and go for a 50 mile run. It’s much harder, much much harder when I have days where it’s hard to just walk across the living room without feeling like I have just run a marathon. Life was much easier when I could easily remember why I walked into another room. When my brain did not feel like I was in a constant fog. Living out our faith is so much easier when life is not so demanding. But that’s actually when we need faith the most.

We need faith and usually find faith when life is hard. On days, when we are fighting to just survive. Those are the days when we need faith the most. Because everything that means anything is worth the fight. Everything worth living for will require a real fight to achieve it. You and I cannot decide to quit half way through the race. We must run every step. Even when that next step is the hardest.

This crazy beautiful health journey has knocked me down a few times along the way. But I keep getting up. This week hit me like a severe cramp during a marathon. This week’s life changing diagnosis rocked my world. I was knocked down. I had to dig deep to get back up. But I did get back up. I didn’t stay down. My friend you need to keep getting back up when life knocks you down.

Here are 3 things I want to share about getting back up when life knocks you down.

1). Remember:
God still loves us and there are still many things to be thankful for.

We need to remember that God has given us many promises to hang onto. Check out Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, and Isaiah 40:31.

2). Connect:
The greatest temptation when we are feeling “down and out” is to isolate ourselves. We may feel embarrassed or lost about our current situation, or wonder if others will understand. We may think we can’t express how we are feeling. But the tough moments in life should connect us with God, our family and friends.

3). Pray:
We can pray that God will give us the opportunity to share what we are learning with someone else. As we begin to focus on others, we lose the grip of self-focus and all the negative feelings that can go along with it. Little by little, we will be planting seeds of a powerful life story we can tell some time in the future.

Here is a prayer that I hope helps as you walk through the tough days and keep getting back up:

Dear God, remind us that trials are to be expected. Help us keep our reactions under control and within Your will. Give us great strength to endure this trial in a way that is refining and transforming -for Your glory. ~OC

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Broken Pieces

Today’s a new day! As I study the Bible, I see that those who did God’s work were often those who made the biggest mistakes and had to learn the hard way. Just like some of us. They were no saints. As we walk this journey called life, there are wounded and broken people all around us. They might be family, friends, neighbors or coworkers. They might be the people we sit next to at church. We may not actually see their wounds, but we can usually tell when people are sad or struggling or just not themselves. Most of us have been there at some point in our own lives. We have dealt with health, relationship or finances issues. That brokenness is very personal, so much so that we often do not want to share the details with anyone. That brokenness is unique to each of us. It’s ours, nobody else’s.

Yet in a strange way, it connects us with each other as something that we have in common.

We all have our stories, battles and wounds from this world. Broken things are often despised and thrown out. Something we no longer need. We just toss them away. We tend to reject damaged goods. That includes relationships. Often when relationships breakdown, the tendency is to walk away and find someone new.

But throughout history, we see where God chooses to use broken people.

The world is full of people with broken hearts, broken spirits and broken relationships. Maybe this is hitting close to home. But there is no reason to close yourself off from the world because you might get hurt. Again. I want to remind you of the words in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

That verse is so true. God’s love can shine through the cracks and through our broken lives. Life at its best is letting the light and the love of God shine through, especially at our broken places. Only God’s love shining through will bring proper healing and transformation. When life is going well and there’s lots of sunny days, it’s so much easier to see God at work in our lives.

But in those dark days, we see God’s presence and strength shared with us in a different way. He is stronger than our darkest moments and if we trust in Him, we will grow in grace and confidence and others will notice that light shining through our cracks. But in those moments, we might need to be open and vulnerable to others.

We all know how difficult, but rewarding building relationships can be. It can be challenging to be real and transparent. We do not want people to know everything about us, but there are some painful issues that we can share, especially if we know that God is helping us through those difficult times.

Today, do you feel there are too many broken parts of your life to be of any use to God?

Believe me you are not alone. Jesus wants us to bring him all our brokenness and ask him to fill us with his light, that will shine through our cracks. So today, I pray you will lay all your broken pieces at the feet of Jesus. ~~OC

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Loving Your Bride

Today’s a new day! Some days, you make decisions that change the trajectory of the rest of your life.

On a January morning in 1999, I decided to attend something I had never attended before. A singles event hosted by my church. I have never been a fan of single events. That is another blog post for another day. But that beautiful morning in Palm Beach, FL, I would meet a young lady that would change my life forever. That was the day I met my future bride Laura.

Last week we celebrated our twenty-five wedding anniversary. As I have walked through this beautiful journey called marriage, I have learned a few lessons about marriage. Obviously, these lessons come from my experience has a husband.

As I have looked through scriptures over the years, looking for ways that Jesus loves the church, ways that he calls me to echo his love for me in my love for my bride, I have found several great lessons, but I will only share ten of them. God calls you, as a husband, to love your wife like Jesus loves her. I hope you will reflect and pray over the following lessons.

1). Stubborn Love:
Jesus won’t ever leave his bride. He says to her, “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). His love for your bride is based not on her performance but on his covenant love for her. When we keep our marriage covenants through all of the challenges and changes over years of married life, we reflect his kind of stubborn, delight-filled love. May our brides know the comfort of love that says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). As everyone knows, Laura and I have had our challenges with my health.

2)Hopeful Love:
When Jesus looks at your bride, he sees her as already sanctified. This hope is anchored in the power and promise of the gospel. Paul writes to believers, “You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11; italics mine). In fact, he sees her not only as already sanctified but as already glorified (Romans 8:30). How often would your bride say that your love for her “hopes all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7)? By keeping eternity in mind, you can have patience with your bride, just as Jesus does with her—and you.

3). Pursuing Love:
Jesus never takes a break from pursuing our bride’s heart, not romantically but persistently. In fact, he cares not only about her devotion but also her affection (Psalm 37:4). He is the tireless Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to seek after the one (Luke 15:4–7). In a similar way, God is glorified when a husband continually seeks a deeper relationship with his bride. A husband who has been captured by Jesus’s love is an incurable romantic toward his bride.

4). Forgiving Love:
Jesus gives our bride’s grace when they do not deserve it. It may be that the most Christlike thing you can do is offer your bride forgiveness on a daily basis, remembering that you too are in need of forgiveness. The picture of forgiving love that every husband should seek to emulate is Jesus making breakfast for Peter who had sinned against him, denying him three times at his crucifixion (John 21:12–15). Is it you or your bride who is usually the first to begin to move toward reconciliation when it’s needed?

5) Joyful Love:
Jesus doesn’t just put up with your bride or grudgingly, but persistently love her—Jesus loves to love her. He delights to be with his bride. He receives joy by giving us joy (Hebrews 12:2). Wives who are loved this deeply, who know their husbands love to love them, are often an even greater blessing to others. Love your bride so joyfully that it’s obvious to her and others.

6).Serving Love
Jesus served her in life and death. There is nothing and I mean nothing, that God can call you to do for your bride that would be too much! Jesus “gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Many husbands think of themselves as kings to be served, but you and I are called by God to be the chief servants in our homes. The way to Christlikeness in our marriages is through joining Jesus in taking up the towel and the basin (John 13:12–17).

7). Sanctifying Love:
Jesus loves your bride by helping her to grow in holiness and by being her advocate before the Father (1 John 2:1). Do you encourage your bride to go to Bible study, even if it means you have to care for the kids by yourself or cook dinner for yourself? Do you regularly bring your bride before the Father in prayer? Work hard to help your bride blossom spiritually.

8). Leading Love:
Jesus leads us to what is good for us. Jesus not only loves your bride with a leading rather than a passive love, but he also leads her toward what is good (Psalm 23:2). It is impossible to lead our brides spiritually if we ourselves are not being led by God through the Word and prayer. One way you can lead her well is by seeking her input and then making big decisions (and accepting the consequences), rather than allowing the decisions and consequences to fall to her.

9). Providing Love:
Jesus provides your bride with all that she needs. Do you notice your bride’s needs, even beyond physical provision, and do something about it? Christ nourishes her, providing an environment for growth and flourishing. The apostle Paul explains to us that “in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28). It made a marked difference in my marriage when I realized that it was my responsibility to do what I could to fill my wife’s sails

10). Knowing Love:
Jesus knows your bride better than she knows herself. He has an informed love for her. He knows her strengths and her weaknesses, and he acts on her behalf (Ephesians 5:29–30). While we will never know our bride’s like God knows them, he wants us to know them as well as we can. Our prayers for them will always be hindered if we fail to know them (1 Peter 3:7). Our bride’s know they are cherished when we make an effort to really know them.

My Brothers, we have an enemy, that ancient serpent, who desires to squirm his way into our homes and cause havoc. But praise God, we know the snake crusher, Jesus, who has already defeated him and loved us with a supernatural love. Know that when you love your bride like Jesus loves her, the foundation of your marriage is strengthened, Satan is defeated again, and Christ is lifted up for more to see. Keep loving and honoring your bride. ~OC

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Life…Is So Short

Today’s a new day! Life.. is so short. It will continue to go on. We cannot hold on and think that every day is promised. We have all experienced great losses in this journey called life. We have all felt that pain of losing a loved one, someone that we cared deeply about.

But yet we’re still here and now we must continue on. But what is the example that we’re going to leave? What kind of legacy do we want to leave behind? How do we lead the next generation? Hate is not going to make it work. Being afraid to be truthful to who you are will only limit who you truly are inside.

Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Don’t let anyone take away who you were created to be. Don’t be afraid, to be honest. Don’t be afraid to be different. Even being different can be difficult for a lot of people.

But I guarantee you this, there’s nobody in the world that can do you. When the time comes what would you leave behind? What legacy will be left behind to remind others of your greatness, of your losses, of your victories, of your sorrows? This is a short life that we all have. And it’s not easy, it’s not easy living it every day.

It’s not easy to go through so many different trials, so many different challenges. Maybe that challenge will be a lost relationship, job or financial struggle. It’s not easy walking through tough times in this life. We cannot blame life because it’s not the life that makes these challenges what they are today. It is the purpose and purpose never lies it will always tell you the truth.

But while we exist in this world right now I need you to hold on, I need you to hold on strong and don’t give up, I need you to believe in every possibility that you have and understand that it is not over for you. I need you to understand life is always going to be filled with good moments.

But keep in mind sooner or later, we will breathe our last breath. So keep pushing forward and don’t give up and don’t give in and do the best that you can to have the right attitude. To make your life matter. Your life is not an accident. Your life has so much meaning. Are you ready to take on the unknown? Are you prepared for it? You can’t even understand in most cases how beautiful it is sometimes to not even know what’s coming your way, but knowing that God is planning every step. Sometimes it’s not necessary for us to know everything, sometimes it’s not necessary to understand everything. But are you ready to embrace those moments of uncertainty?

There are a lot of negative things and people that exist in this world. People that can always find the negative in any situation. But we must make peace within our own heart. We must make peace in our community. Life.. is so short. ~OC

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The Talk

Today’s a new day! As most of you know, Laura and I do not have any children. But we have been blessed with some amazing god-children and have both worked with young people most of our careers. I wanted to share that before writing the following.

Over the years, I have been blessed with friends of all colors and backgrounds. I know my African-American friends have different talks with their children. Every African-American parent I know at some point, has had to have “the talk,” the proverbial sit-down where they engage their children in a serious discussion about how African-Americans are treated by police. They explain how to converse with police, how to make eye contact, how or when to show respect, how, when necessary, they must sometimes genuflect to unjust authority in order to protect themselves.

Inevitably, it’s not just one talk. Circumstances force African-American parents to have a series of conversations throughout their children’s lives, because racism is a constant presence.

In light of yesterday’s incident with Miami Dolphin’s wide receiver Tyreek Hill being pulled over, handcuffed and placed face down on the ground, I know a lot of African-American parents once again had “the talk” with their children.

In the face of almost daily occurrences of racial violence against African-Americans, sadly there cannot just be one talk about how young people should conduct themselves when interacting with police. As a community we must teach our children, god children, nieces and nephews every day to help them navigate the communities they live in. We should all be talking to students and young people about racism in America. And not just when there is another racially motivated incident. Having healthy conversations about racism is the only way we will ever experience any type of racial healing in America.

Early on, children are taught not to play with electrical outlets and to be careful near a hot stove. Hopefully they are taught to say please and thank you, and to be nice and share. Just as organically as parents teach their children to look both ways when crossing the street, we should be giving them regular, developmentally appropriate lessons about race and racism. As we’ve seen, over and over a bad run-in with a police officer can be as fatal as a car accident. Failing to have these conversations can put young people, especially young African-American men in great danger.

Please do not be under the false illusion that avoiding these conversations will shield your child from the horrors of racism; they will absorb this information somehow. And if we ignore it, that’s the lesson they’ll learn from us.

I know these conversations can be heart-breaking as they are necessary, especially when they touch a child’s life directly.

Over the years, Laura and I have tried our best to become more knowledgeable about the racial issues from America’s past and present. We have taken time to have real and difficult conversations about race with our African-American friends. We have chosen during those conversations to listen more and talk less. Laura and I have taken the time to read and study the history of America. All of its history. We continuously encourage our family and friends of every color and background to study the complete history of America.

My prayer is that we would never see another African-American be pulled over by a police officer just because of the color of their skin. But sadly, that’s the world we live in. So parents, family members and friends, make sure you’re having “The Talk” with your children. Regardless of color. ~OC

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Choose Love Over Hate

Today’s a new day! We were taught that the direct opposite of love is hate. So does it means if we do not love someone, we actually hate that person?

Ever heard this statement; the amount of love you feel for someone is the same amount of hate you would feel for that same person? So if we love someone so much, we could hate that same person just as much.

So what is it about hatred that makes us choose it above Love?

You could be saying right now that you don’t hate anyone. Actually, just like love, hatred is in actions, in expressions. You might not go round smashing things, cussing people out, you might not even show the fictitious expression of hate we so often see in the movies, our society and so on; it still doesn’t mean you are not free from hate.

Hatred is a deep and extreme emotional dislike towards someone or a group of people. It is often associated with feelings of anger, disgust and a disposition towards hostility and often times the result of unforgiveness.

What does God have to say on the topic of Love and Hate?

You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. (Leviticus 19:17)

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Leviticus 19:18)

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44)

You shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:39)

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you (Luke 6:27)

We hardly realize the devastating effect of hatred and how much it steals from us. Maybe because it often starts as a harmless seed sown in the heart of a person. But by the time it grows, you will be amazed how much destruction such a little seed can cause.

Let’s talk about wars, broken homes and families, terrorism, genocides, political divide, all these terrible events which have cost lives and properties and defined history, with their effects even reaching generations that were not born at the time of those events. Usually it starts as something really small, little trouble here and there. It seems not to matter at that time. However, a tiny seed can create a forest.

Think of the unhappiness and fear all around the world today, results of hatred. You may think hating one person really makes no difference, but it does.

What causes Hatred?

Fear: Often times we are afraid of things that seem different from us or things turning out differently than what we expected. Maybe a political election. Instead of being brave and facing those things, we turn to hate, feeling it is the best solution to this problem.

Jealousy/Envy: How do you react when you look around and see family or friends doing better than you and they appear to put in less effort? Your answer to this determines if you are allowing love to rule or hate.

Past Experiences/Background: Our experiences have a way of structuring our thought pattern. For example, some who have had bad experiences with a particular group of people, allow that single event to stir up hate for anyone or anything associated to that group of people.

Remember however that perfect love casts out all fear; we should not be anxious for anything but present our requests with prayers, supplications and thanksgiving and God’s peace that passes all human understanding and will guard our heart; in Christ, we are new creatures, the past is gone and we can have a fresh start.

Let’s face it, people will always hurt us, break our heart but love helps us live in peace with ourselves and others. For the world to experience peace, it needs Love.

Remember, you are never alone. ~OC

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