Tag: Friendships

Breakthrough

Good morning! As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey the last twenty-three years, I have had many moments where I needed a breakthrough from God. As we walk into a new week filled with new challenges, I want to share some things I have done when I needed a breakthrough at different moments in my life.

Pray: This may seem obvious, but sometimes we get so caught up in the roller coaster of life we forget to pray.

But prayer should never be our last resort. It should be the first thing we do when facing challenges in life. We also need to call on some trusted friends to pray on our behalf.

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.” ~Psalm 130:5

Fast: When coupled with prayer, fasting is a powerful tool to use when you need a breakthrough. And fasting doesn’t mean you have to give up food. A fast is about sacrificing something, so you can clearly hear from God. He may asked you to give up social media, a hobby or tv. Some things do not break with just prayer alone. When you need a breakthrough, fasting is crucial to seeing it come to pass.

“So we fasted and implored our God for this, and he listened to our entreaty.” ~Ezra 8:23

Build Your Faith: I’m just going to be straight up with you: Every breakthrough that I have personally experienced came from leaning into the promises of God. Thankfully, He is so gracious that He has not left us to figure out how to grow in our faith on our own.

“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” ~Romans 10:17

Be Patient and Consistent: As I share this last point, I must warn you that breakthroughs can take time. The breakthrough you need may not come the first time you pray – or the hundredth. It may take weeks or even years. We cannot control the time, but we know that God can. He is always faithful. Our part is to stay consistent. So keep on praying. Keep on fasting. Keep on listening to the word. Keep believing in God. Your day of breakthrough will happen in God’s perfect timing for you.

If you’re waiting for your breakthrough the best thing you can do is remember that it will come at the perfect time. So press in to God and be patient. Your Breakthrough is coming! ~OC

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Dear Men of God,

Today’s a new day! My apologies to all the ladies today. The following post is geared towards men and the importance of men having solid friendships with other men.

Today, I write from a position of painful experiences. Today, I believe God is calling me to be transparent as I share the following message.

I have tried for years to be involved in Christian men’s groups. Unfortunately, most have never produced much fruit. Several have caused pain, loss and mistrust. Even with that said, I am still open to being part of a Christian men’s group. But not one that is more concerned about a man’s social status in society than they are about the man’s heart. Not easy to find. I definitely do not want to be part of any men’s group that preaches we need to be a man’s man in the likeness of John Wayne.

In a society that celebrates rugged individualism, Christian men are often left searching for and craving connection, but unsure how to or where to find it. Men, the Bible calls us to community. In Ecclesiastes 4:9, we read that “two are better than one.” Yet so many men are struggling to forge deep, meaningful friendships with other men. I am one of those men.

The consequences are real. Loneliness among men are at their highest rates in decades. Loneliness can lead men to make some poor choices, which can ultimately lead to brokenness.

I believe for men to be better husbands, fathers and friends, we need to be surrounded by not just mere acquaintances, but by brothers who sharpen each other “as iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17).

The Bible is full of scriptures that tell us that we are all created for relationships. Even men. In Genesis 2:18 we read, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” While often shared at wedding ceremonies, this verse actually speaks about our need for companionship. Jesus himself modeled friendship, calling his disciples “friends” (John 15:15).

For Christian men, friendships should not be a distraction from our faith but a cornerstone of it. Men, we need to be surrounded by other Christian men offering accountability and encouragement.

Yet men often pursue other gods—careers, social status, or some type of hobby before seeking out true friendships.

True friendship are a beautiful gift and I believe, an important part of living a life that honors God. In Proverbs 18:24, we read those life changing words “a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” a bond that mirrors Christ’s sacrificial love. Such friendships require intentionality and spending quality time together. And not being afraid to leave the shallow end of conversations and dive into deep, sometimes hard conversations. True brotherhood is also about laughing together and enjoying life.

Men of God, the stakes are high. Loneliness and brokenness are stealing our peace, our joy and our witness. But I believe true brotherhood, rooted in God’s love, can restore each of us. ~OC

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Friendships…

The last few days, I have been going through old journals and finding some old writings. Here is one I wrote back in 2019.

Today’s a new day! So many people kick the terms “best friend,” “best friend forever,” “BFF,” or “bestie” around like a soccer ball , hoping the person they kick it to will kick it back at them.  I have no doubt that for some people, the friends they make in their youth stick with them for a lifetime.  But as we grow older, we realize that true friends are rare.

Some friends are here for only a season of our life – school days, college, young married, a missions trip– and then when the ties that bind them loosen, they slowly (or quickly) exit our lives. I do not think this lessens the value of the relationship.  We need various people to learn from and lean on during the different seasons of our lives.

What can weaken a friendship? Two friends may mature at a different pace, or sometimes interests change.  Distance can have a huge impact, if someone moves, or perhaps there’s a complete change in lifestyle. Are there friendships that can withstand any or all of these conditions?

True friendships withstand the test of time and the changes that can put obstacles in the way of a stress-free relationship. That is, it’s easy to be friends with someone who is available, who you have much in common with, and who you agree with on most issues.

I’ve learned that true friendship does not have much to do with what you have in common, though, of course, commonalities are needed, especially since they bring you together. What holds your friendship together is a deep love and concern for the other person’s well being. You care, so you continue to be there for that person.

Friends show up in times of trouble. During my crazy beautiful health journey, I have found out who my true friends are. Who those 3am friends really are. For those friends that decided to move on, I continue to pray for you and only want the best for you.

True friends are honest with each other, and they accept the other person’s honesty. They do not let petty arguments come between them. They forgive each other. They realize that they don’t always have to agree.

True friends give you the freedom to have other friends. They are secure enough to know that if you are a worthy friend, they do not have to do anything to persuade you to spend time with them. They know you have enough love in your heart for all your friendships.

True friends are not difficult to meet up with, and they aren’t hard to keep in touch with, if they live far away. While we all get busy at times, true friends inform each other that their friendship is still important, and both of them make an effort.

Over the years, I have had some friends who pulled out a calendar and listed a handful of dates over the next few months that they could schedule a time to see me. Hmm, I thought, I’m busy too (dying can take up a lot of one’s time), but it shouldn’t be that difficult to find time to spend together. In contrast, I have multiple friends that a quick phone call or text and we are meeting up within hours to catch up.

True friendships are those that bring out the best in you. Your friend should give you energy – not drain it.  How many times have we stayed in relationships simply because the person was present, but deep down we know they aren’t good for us? When possible we should clear our lives of people who drain us and leave space to foster relationships that fill us up with hope and make us a better person.

I believe the mark of a true friendship is intimacy – your friends know and wants to know what is happening in your life. On some level, they stay involved in your life. Indeed, that’s the mark of a true friend.

It goes without saying that to have true friends, we must work at being a good friend.Even after fifty plus years, I am still learning how to be a better friend. I desire to have more friendships that can last the ups and downs of this journey called life. ~OC

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“Friends”

Today’s a new day! For many years, I chased after friendships. I was the one always reaching out to try and make plans or to just check in. Usually with no response. But over the years I have found that to be exhausting. So as we enter a new year, I will no longer be texting, calling or reaching out to those “friends” who refuse to put in as much effort as I have over the years. I just do not have the energy or interest to continue working that hard on what is supposed to be a mutual friendship. I am not mad or angry, just disappointed. I pray God would bless you and the plans he has for your life. ~OC

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Year of Reunions

Happy Friday dear friends! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, friendships continue to mean more to me than ever. I love when I am able to connect with the friends I have been blessed with over the decades.

As I have walked through this health battle, I have been to many funerals. It’s just part of the journey. At those funerals, many people gather to pay their respects, talk about how much the person meant to them and reflect on the good times. I often hear people share if they would have only had more time to share everything they wanted to share with their loved one or friend. Oh, do not forget about all the flowers. So many flowers.

As I thought about the above scenarios, it made me realize I do not want that to be my story. People gathering after I am gone and wishing they would have visited more or shared something with me. So here is my crazy idea for 2025. To everyone who calls me friend, let us all commit to getting together once a month to hang out and celebrate each other. Of course I realize some people would not be able to make every month, but if you could make it to a few gatherings throughout 2025, I would be forever grateful. For those that might not be able to make any of the gatherings based on geography, I propose we commit to meeting on Zoom once a month. No excuses for not being able to connect and share life together. We could even plan individual monthly phone calls if that works better for you. Based on my health, maybe we could do a few “Road Trips Reunions.”

As my health continues to decline and I deal with the new diagnosis of dementia, spending time with my friends becomes more important each day. So if you would be interested in making the “Year of Reunions” a reality, please let me know. We still have time in January to kick things off. Nothing fancy. Just friends getting together to celebrate friendships. Oh and no flowers required. Have a wonderful day. ~OC

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Find Those 3am Friendships

Today’s a new day! Life is full of wonderful and difficult moments. That is why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who will encourage and support you. Those who will step up in not only the good times, but more importantly those who step in during the toughest moments in life. Those moments when we find it difficult to breathe. We each deserve to have people who will walk alongside us to support us in every season of life. To help us become better people.

Each of us is worthy of deep and meaningful friendships. We have much to share with others as we walk through this journey called life. If you are in a place where you do not feel valued or supported, if you haven’t found your “3am friendships”, I pray you will spend some time seeking out those important relationships. Warning! You might have to step out of your comfort zone to find those life changing friendships. Do not neglect the opportunities God has placed before you to find those friendships. There will be moments in life when you may feel that no one understands you. There will also be moments when God sets you apart, in order to grow you and reveal something fresh in your life. But there will also be moments for you to dive into community and friendships. A time to find your “3am folks.” Do not miss those amazing opportunities. ~OC

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Word for 2025….Guarded

Today’s a new day! For probably the last ten years, every December I ask God to give me a word for the upcoming year. This year is no different, even though this year has been a life changing year for Laura and I and the year is not over yet. But after a lot of prayer, the word God has given me for 2025 is Guarded. Some people might find that a surprising word as we get closer to entering a new year. But let me explain.

Many people know about my story concerning my crazy beautiful health journey. Over the years, I have shared my story and struggles on social media, in conversation, in books and even an award-winning documentary. I have been blessed to experience some amazing opportunities over the past 22 years. I have also experienced some great pain as more than one “friend” has used my story for their personal gain and discarded me after I was no longer the flavor of the month. I do not share this for any type of sympathy, but to let you know why I chose the word Guarded for 2025 and why I will have less of a presence on social media next year. The daily text of encouragement will continue for those friends God puts on my heart.

In 2025, I will spend more time cultivating the real relationships in my life and guard myself against those who only contact me when they need something or feel guilty. As I continue to navigate life with dementia, I do not have the energy or desire to put anymore energy into fake and superficial relationships.

No, 2025 will be spent making memories with those who truly care about me. Not just the “Miracle Story.” Those few friends who actually reach out to me without me always having to innate the conversation or get together. I am looking forward to a beautiful memory filled 2025.

What will be your word for 2025? ~OC

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Let’s Talk

Today’s a new day! This morning I want to discuss a tough issue for many in the Christian community. Mental Health. Unfortunately, many believers have made it difficult for those dealing with mental health issues to share and get the help they need.

Mental health issues can still be a highly stigmatized topic in the church. Although many Believers know the trials of occasional anxiety or having the blues, people with a diagnosed mental illness face unique challenges. Some are confronted by Christians who espouse false doctrine that health issues are a sign of unresolved sin or lack of faith. This is a Big Lie!

I want to encourage anyone dealing with mental health issues or any health issue to get the necessary medical care they need. There is nothing wrong with taking medications, having a therapist and loving Jesus all at the same time. There should be no shame or condemnation.

The same biblical truths that have encouraged Christians for centuries can encourage those who suffer with mental health today. I pray those walking through the trials of mental health will cling to these words of encouragement.

1. You Are Not Alone

God’s people have suffered—mentally, emotionally, and physically—since the fall in the garden. Even Jesus cried out in despair on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46), When we suffer, we are never alone. Never be afraid to reach out for help. Speaking openly about your mental health issues allows those around you to share their own struggles. This allows us all to come together and care for one another.

2). Stop Blaming Yourself. Stop listening to those who may try to put a spiritual guilt trip on you. Mental health issues are not a punishment for sin or lack of faith. As you walk through this journey, I encourage you to keep your eyes on God. He has some amazing plans for your life. Keep leaning into His beautiful promises.

3). Remember, God sees you, loves you and is always with you. Thankfully, we have a wonderful Savior who experiences emotions. As you walk through the effects of mental illness, remember the nearness of Christ. He weeps with you. God knows how He is going to work in and through each of our lives and is with us in the midst of all of our trials. By the amazing grace of God, he sent the Holy Spirit, our comforter and counselor, to be with us , to help us through every moment of life. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us (Romans 8:27). He is there for us when we do not have the words.

4). God’s Word Speaks to us (Romans 15:4).

The word of God isn’t afraid to talk about mental and emotional issues.

Keep the truth of God’s words close. Share them with a close friend, family member, or accountability partner who can remind you when you forget or when you do not have the energy or willpower to remind yourself.

The truth is some will deal with mental health issues for a lifetime. But remember, we can all rejoice in the greatness and sovereignty of our loving Savior. I pray that God will make known his love and strength in all of our struggles. ~OC

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Standing Beside You

Today’s a new day! True friendship and good character is all about how a person nurtures another person when they are vulnerable and can give very little in return.  Thus, it’s not who’s standing beside you during good times, but the ones who stick by you through tough times that are your true friends.

So take note of who remains in your life when times get tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources they have in their life to help you improve yours when you need it most.  Seriously, when you come out the other side of a difficult period in your life, look around you. The people still standing beside you are your true friends. ~OC

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True Friendships

Today’s a new day! True friends never make you feel like a burden. A true friend is never burdened with stressful promises and obligations.  When true friends step up, it’s because they care and because they want to.

Don’t chase after friendships. True friendships don’t need to be chased.  If someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You should never have to fight for a spot in their life. Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. ~OC

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