Men and Friendships

Today’s a new day! Hello men. This post is for us. I want to get real about friendships. Based on my own experience and talking with other men, we are mostly failing in the area of friendship. Most men I have talked to share they have many surface friendships, but lack deep meaningful friendships. Can any other men relate?

I personally want to have intentional friendships that have meaning and depth. It appears so many men are happy with surface friendships. They fear deep intimate friendships. The casual version of friendship is sadly repeated over and over again and not just with guys outside the church. Men in the church are not doing much better. From my own observation, most men lack true friendships and happily settle for less. We use phrases like he’s my buddy or bro. These are not bad relationships, but just other men who do not understand the importance of having intentional friendships.

I could go into deep reasons why so many men lack deep friendships with other men, but so many of them are just excuses. Most of the time it comes down to laziness. Men like to use the excuse of being too busy. But that doesn’t fly. Go check with your wife or girlfriend. Their schedules are just as busy if not busier than yours, but they still find time for deep and meaningful friendships. As men we settle for less because we do not want to put in the time and effort.

Where are your friends that you can lean on and that can lean on you? Can you pray with them? Can you talk about real life with them? Your failures and successes. Over the years, I have observed too many men are scared to share their wounds, emotions, or real life issues with other men. The best example of a man we have is Jesus. He cried, he got angry, he had a tender heart. He chose to invest in real relationships with 12 other men. He dared to hold those men accountable. To walk through life together. The good and bad. To serve together. Do you have those type of men in your life? We all need men we can challenge and men who will challenge us to be better men. We need to be intentional in our friendships with other men.

So I want to encourage you and myself to do the following:

*Chose to take a risk and open up to some of the men in your life. See what happens. Jesus was not afraid to be vulnerable.

*Chose to be a better friend. Start to be intentional and sacrificial for other men. Asked the tough questions. Listen without interrupting or trying to fix the problem. Share your hopes, failures and dreams. Pray together.

*Chose to pray that God places Godly men into your life, then be on the lookout for them.

Notice how Jesus chose to be open and honest with the disciples. He chose to serve them and together serve others. Jesus chose to be intentional with these 12 men. Are we willing to do that with the men in our lives? It might not be easy, but I promise it will be life changing if we choose to put in the time and effort. No more excuses men. ~OC

Godly Friendships

Today’s a new day! As we walk through life we need true friendships with no secrets or hidden agendas. We need Godly friendships filled not with condemnation; but instead filled with grace. Godly friendships filled with forgiveness when one of our friends let’s us down. Godly friendships so strong we do not run away at the first sign of trouble. Godly friendships were we can tell our complete stories. Stories filled with failures, struggles, heartbreak and temptations. But also share stories filled with success and adventure. Godly friendships where we can freely share our deepest hopes, fears and dreams. Godly friendships where we will still be deeply loved and accepted even when the mask is taken off. Godly friendships where our true friends believe in us. God created each of us with a desire for relationships. It’s part of our DNA. We cannot escape it. We were created to be in deep meaningful friendships. God did not create us to be alone. If we try walking this journey alone, we are missing out on one of God’s greatest gifts. The gift of true friendship. So stop making excuses. Stop allowing past hurts to keep you from finding true Godly friendships. Step up and step into Godly Friendships. ~OC

Choose Wisely

During this crazy beautiful journey called life, we will be forced to choose between walking with certain loved ones/friends or walking with Jesus. My prayer is we always recognize when we’re being asked to make that choice, that we choose wisely every single time. ~OC

Jesus and Judas

During a time where people are ending friendships because they disagree about politics, I will choose to stay friends.

During a time where people are ending friendships based on different religious beliefs, I will choose to stay friends.

During a time where people are ending friendships based on different skin color and culture, I will choose to stay friends.

During a time where people are ending friendships based on different beliefs about the pandemic, I will choose to stay friends.

During a time where people are ending friendships based on someone’s sexual orientation, I will choose to stay friends.

I could continue giving examples, but I hope you get the point. I do not have to agree or like someone’s opinion or belief system to be their friend. I can just respectfully disagree. I can also have respectful conversations with them. I can continue to pray for them. I can continue to love them.

I often think about Jesus and Judas Iscariot from the Bible. Jesus knew the day he met Judas, that Judas would betray him. The smart thing would have been for Jesus to not even start a friendship with Judas. But what did Jesus do? He invited Judas into his inner circle. Jesus ate with Judas. Jesus engaged Judas in conversation. Jesus prayed for Judas. Jesus washed Judas feet on the night Judas betrayed him. Jesus loved Judas.

People are broken. Friends come with baggage. We can choose to discard those friends we disagree with or we can choose to love them. There is too much hate in this world. So, I will choose to love those I disagree with. Baggage and all. ~OC

Grateful For True Friendships

Today’s a new day! True friendship is not about being there when it’s convenient; it’s about being there when it’s not. I am grateful for the true friends who continue stick by me during this crazy beautiful health journey. ~OC

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