Real Talk

Today’s a new day! 

I’m gonna be real with you. 

Lately, I have hit a wall physically, mentally and emotionally. 

Some days the weight just stacks up heavier than usual, and you feel it in places nobody can see.

But I want you to hear this clearly: 

Hitting a wall doesn’t mean you’re defeated. 

It means you’ve been running hard. 

It means you care. 

It means you’re human.

I am learning that even strong faith-filled people have moments where they need to sit down, catch their breath, and let God hold the weight for a minute. 

I’m doing that right now, resting my mind, leaning on prayer, and letting the people who truly love me love me.

If you’re reading this and you’ve hit your own wall lately- emotionally, spiritually, mentally- don’t beat yourself up. 

Take a Pause. 

Take a Breath.

Don’t be afraid to Reach Out for help.

You don’t have to power through this life alone.

I am grateful for every prayer, every message, every ounce of encouragement family, friends and strangers have sent my way. 

It truly carries me on days when the race feels overwhelming. 

Today, I am:

Still Standing.

Still Believing.

Still Pushing Through. 

Still Running the Race. 

Still Thankful.

Still Blessed. 

I pray everyone has a beautiful and blessed day. ~OC

***If you would like to hear the Spoken Word version of this post, check it out at my YouTube channel Todd E. Shoemaker Music.

The World Wonders

The world looks at my health, wonders how I’m still alive

Faces scream, “This man should not be alive”

But I point to heaven, say, “God’s not finished with me yet”

My assignment’s not complete, got a purpose to fulfill, you see

Doctors shake their heads, wonder how I’m not depressed

I smile and say, “It’s God’s grace, I’m blessed”

They ask me what’s my secret, how I keep pushing on

I say, “It’s my support system, and choosing to let go”

I choose not to let the negative parts take control

I choose to rise above, let my spirit soar

I’m not defined by my health, I’m defined by my God

He’s the One who’s keeping me, I’m not done yet, I’m on the move

I tell ’em about my wife, my family, my friends

They’re the ones who keep me grounded, keep me on my feet, till the end

And every day I choose to focus on the positives of this journey,

Not the limitations, but the possibilities, God’s got me alive

I point to the sky, say, “It’s only by God’s grace”

That I’m not bawled up under the covers somewhere, lost in a daze,

But I’m still standing, I’m still speaking, I’m still moving forward

‘Cause God’s not done with me, my assignment’s not complete, I’m still on the road

I refuse to let the old man in. ~OC

*****If you would like to hear and see this post done in Spoken Word, please check it out at my YouTube channel Todd E. Shoemaker Music

Lessons Being Learned

Today’s a new day! Here are four things that God has been showing me over the past few months. I guess God wanted to remind me of His love, care and purpose for me, even in the midst of this health journey. I pray they encourage you. 

I Am Precious In God’s Eyes:

Isaiah 43: 4 says, ‘You are precious and honoured in my sight, and … I love you.’

As my body and mind continues to be an issue, I need to remind myself continually that God loves me for who I am not what I can do. The Lord has chosen me to be his treasured possession (Deuteronomy 14:2) and I am still precious to him despite my illness. He knows what he is doing and he is good.

If you are feeling that you have no purpose, the Lord wants to tell you differently. He wants you to know that your purpose is being his child, not what you are able to do.

I Am Blessed:

As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have periods of sadness,  as I mourn the things I am no longer capable of doing. Some days are harder than others and I feel helpless and upset that I am a burden on Laura and others. Yet, God promises that if I lean on him and trust him, he will give me the strength that I need.

I need to ask God daily to help me remember my blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. Each day is a gift to enjoy being with Laura and friends making memories. I cannot allow myself to constantly be distracted by those friends who have decided to walk away, for whatever reason. 

I am reminded that God’s word says that every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17) and I have been able to find much pleasure in the everyday things around me that I had not noticed before.

When you have a serious illness your world becomes much smaller, but in God’s grace even that can be a blessing. God has opened my eyes to see the little things in life and I can pray about them. I have time to see God answering those prayers and to see how he is interested in the tiny little details of our lives. Sometimes, living in the moment is a real privilege. I don’t need to worry about earning money or running a house because I have to trust that God will give others the strength and wisdom to do that. I know I can trust God in the big things because I can see him working in the little things.

I Am Useful:

It has been very hard not being able to get to church services and have fellowship with people. Zoom, text and phone calls are great but they aren’t the real thing. Often, although I know people pray for me and love me from afar, it can feel very lonely away from the church and everyday life. Yet, wherever I am,  I am still part of God’s family. I am still part of life. I really value people visiting and telling me what God is doing in their lives. It is good to be able to serve the Lord by praying for them and with them.

I can encourage others just by continuing to walk out this health journey, and let people see how He continues to move in the midst of the storm. I continue to learn that you don’t always need to be cheerful and smiling to be an encourager. Just sharing your life and your struggles and letting others see how God sustains you even in the midst of pain and darkness can be an encouragement. God continues to show me that Christian fellowship is about sharing your life with others, the ups, the downs, the differences and the bits in between. True fellowship is precious and points us  to Heaven.

Each day I ask God to help me to be content and to make life as easy as possible for those around me. There are times when I struggle with not being fully involved in daily life, but I know life needs to go on around me. I am still a husband, son, friend and I pray that God will make me the best one I can be.

I Am Being Made New:

I continue to learn that God is bigger than all of my health issues. He is good and his ways are perfect. I sometimes wonder why I am here after all these years, but while He allows me to continue living, I know that he will give me the strength to shine for him. I am reminded almost daily, even a weak and tiny flame can bring much light to a darkened room.

Guess what? God doesn’t see my body as decaying. No, my body is being changed for good and when God sees me as ready, he will take me to be with him, forever. I know that I am more than my illness, I am a child of God and I am loved.

Some days, the enemy tries to put fear in my heart. But on those days, I lean on the words of Psalm 23, which states, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me.” I know that God will give me the strength to keep going until he calls me home. I continue to learn not to worry about tomorrow, but to be thankful and trust him for today. God knows what is coming and he will be with me when it comes.

I want to encourage you, in whatever storm you might find yourself walking through, that you are precious to the Lord and he will never leave you nor forsake you. ~OC

The Journey

Today’s a new day! Reflecting on my health journey, I’m reminded of the twists and turns that have shaped me into who I am today. It’s been a winding road, filled with ups and downs, but through it all, I’ve felt God’s presence guiding me every step of the way. The rough roads have taught me resilience, the detours have shown me new paths, and the smooth roads have given me peace. I’m grateful for this journey, and I trust that God will continue to lead me forward, even when the road ahead is uncertain. ~OC

The Journey

Today’s a new day! Reflecting on my health journey, I’m reminded of the twists and turns that have shaped me into who I am today. It’s been a winding road, filled with ups and downs, but through it all, I’ve felt God’s presence guiding me every step of the way. The rough roads have taught me resilience, the detours have shown me new paths, and the smooth roads have given me peace. I’m grateful for this journey, and I trust that God will continue to lead me forward, even when the road ahead is uncertain. ~OC

Seasons of Life

Today’s a new day! When I started this blog many years ago, I never realized the places that God would take me. The good times and the not so good times. The blessings and hard times that come to us in this journey called life. But over the years, I have learned that even in those difficult seasons of life, that God is always there. Always ready to listen. To lend a helping hand. To love us and comfort us. I have learned that yes, we can be thankful ….. even when our heart and mind tells us that there is no reason to be. I have leaned that in everything to be grateful. So as I continue to walk through these health challenges, I am blessed to have a bride that is willing to walk with me through this crazy beautiful health journey. It is my prayer that the Lord will use our journey to help encourage people and that they will find hope……. In Jesus. So I will continue to embrace new opportunities and be renewed by God’s Hope, Peace and His Word. I will continue to walk this journey with… a thankful and willing heart to serve. ~OC

Flashing Neon Sign

Today’s a new day! As with many neurological illnesses there is nothing noticeable about my condition. It’s not like a broken leg or arm where there is a cast which is obvious when seeing the person. But I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the same old words since my diagnosis last fall, Todd, you do not look like you have dementia.

I often wonder if it comes down to the fact that people feel uncomfortable talking to me about it, so they say the first thing that comes to mind. Which at times can come across as very insensitive and judgmental. Since my diagnosis of early onset dementia caused by my Parkinson’s, I have had several people tell me I do not look or act like someone with dementia. Or Todd, maybe you’re just dealing with an infection of some kind and just need to take some antibiotics. I would be overjoyed if that was actually the case. But I have some amazing doctors and they didn’t come up with this diagnosis lightly.

What does dementia look like? There is no cast or bandage to put on it. I guess I could wear a flashing neon sign that says, “HELLO, I HAVE EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA!” that lets people know of my latest diagnosis.

But seriously, I am walking through a very new and strange season of life, but I know I am not the only one. It simply gets frustrating when people decide to find a different diagnosis or make you doubt your current state of health because they do not like the diagnosis. It can be irritating and cruel when people doubt you and your medical team. Believe me, no one wants to sit in a doctor’s office and hear the words “You have early onset dementia.”

I do think that part of this attitude is because people have a hard time believing someone in their 50’s could have an “old person’s” disease. Also the topic of dementia is not an easy or fun subject to talk about. It can be easier to just ignore it or try to explain it away.

I also believe people have their own preconceived beliefs about dementia and I and many others suffering from this horrible disease do not fit in their picture of dementia.

So please do me a favor. Stop putting your personal beliefs or opinions on those suffering from a visually invisible disease or one that you don’t like. Life with dementia is already hard enough. Thanks for listening. ~OC

My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

Attitude of Gratitude

Today’s a new day! As we move through the busyness of life, it’s easy to look around at everything we do not have instead of taking the time to slow down and be thankful for everything we do have in life. In the coming days and weeks, I want to focus on having an attitude of gratitude.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have made the choice to be grateful for the lessons and blessings I have experienced along the way. I believe that decision has transformed my life and hopefully a few other people along the way. As a Christian, I have much to be grateful for. I have been blessed with the gift of salvation through Jesus, I have the Holy Spirit living inside me and I have a loving God who cares for me and provides for my needs. But if I am not careful, I can start taking these blessings for granted and focus on the things I do not have.

That’s why it’s so important for us to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Living a life of gratitude can have a profound and positive impact on our overall health and our relationships with others. ~OC

Temporary Privilege

Today’s a new day! Spoiler Alert: Facing struggles in our Christian walk is normal. In 1 Peter 4:12 we read the following, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.”

Throughout the Bible, we read story after story of Christians facing tough times and struggling. But we also read, that those struggles produced growth and many invaluable lessons were learned. As we walk through the tough times in life, it’s our choice how we respond to those challenges. Our struggles shape us. God wants to give us more than ease and comfort in life. He desires that we become more like Him. In order for that to happen, we must walk through seasons of suffering.

As I continue to walk through this very short journey called life, I have come to realize that this is the only time I will have the opportunity to glorify God in the midst of my struggles.

Here are a few questions God has put on my heart over the years, as I have walked my crazy beautiful health journey:

*Do I look at my current health struggles as a privilege and opportunity to grow and possibly help someone else walking through their own struggles?

*As I face trials and hardships, do I look at them as opportunities to honor God? To actually live by faith and not by sight. To truly be His hands and feet.

The pain I suffer as I deal with my current health issues is not fun, but through it all I am excited to hopefully honor God during this journey. Over the years, I have learned to count it a privilege to struggle well.

So today, as you reflect on this post and more importantly on your own life, do you consider the struggles you face in your Christian walk as a temporary privilege? ~OC

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑