Tag: health

Blogging

Today’s a new day! It’s been six years since I started my blog. I have used my blog to share about my health journey and my thoughts on different issues that mean a lot to me. The last few days, I have spent some time reflecting on the last six years of blogging.

  1. Intellectual Stimulation:
    One of the most jarring changes was going from an active social and work lifestyle to a life filled with constant medical appointments and having issues with problem solving can be a bit jarring. Having a blog has given me an impetus to really think about issues. It forced me to write regularly, to think about issues, to engage in at least a limited conversation on intellectual topics I cared about. Instead of being a passive consumer of ideas, posts,
    articles, essays, and books, I became an active one.

The knowledge that my writing would be open and available for anyone to read and judge made me think even harder to develop my own thoughts and opinions. If you write a crappie paper in a college course, the professor gives you a poor grade and you file it away. If you write a halfhearted post, it’s out there for anyone to read. Family, friends, and strangers. All of them now have a growing body of my writing to read, disagree with, and critique if they’re so inclined. For a non- scholar like myself, this provides some major motivation to really think and work at what I write.

  1. Joining a Community:
    Blogging also let me jump into a vibrant online community of digital historians and humanists. Instead of being something of a sideline observer, I laced up and joined the fray. Doing so not only exposed me to a wide range of new ideas and possibilities, but also introduced me to a number of fascinating and inspiring people. Which has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. Especially for a newer writer like myself, having a blog gave me confidence and allowed me to participate in a wider dialogue.

Moving forward, the connections I have made through blogging and publishing two books, will hopefully help me become a better and more thoughtful writer.

  1. Feedback:
    I am a firm believer that there’s no point in writing into a void. While much of my blogging was “for myself,” in that I wrote about what interested me, the most rewarding part by far is the response I’ve received. The positive , negative and indifferent. Those comments have helped me become a better writer and person. I still write based on my thoughts and experiences, but I do take into account past feedback before posting. But I will never compromise my beliefs to make sure everyone agrees with my latest post.

I am not sure what the future will hold for my blog and writing. On Monday of this week, I was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. That will definitely change the way I write or don’t write. Regardless, blogging at The Blessed Overcomer, has been, and I hope will continue to be, an enriching experience. ~OC

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Thoughts and Prayers

Today’s a new day!

You can call me…

A Liberal

A Snowflake

Anti Gun

Anti 2nd Amendment

Overreacting

But, I am tired of seeing students, teachers and staff killed just for going to school. Thoughts and prayers are just empty words if there is no action taken. ~OC

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Thank You!

As I write this, Laura is fast asleep, her day will be filled with one thing after another. So I want to jot a few words that could never really approach an accurate measure of the gratitude I have that for the last 25 years, I have gotten to call her my bride.

I have heard many people give marriage advice over the years. But the best advice I can give any couple is to keep God at the center of your marriage and that your spouse becomes your best friend.

Today, Laura and I celebrate our 25th anniversary. And while I could wax poetic about love, commitment, romance, and other things that people associate with married couples, I want to thank my bride for the things that keep me glued to her, the small things that define why the man I see in the mirror today – despite no hair, the wrinkles and the body a little more worn out, is a better man than I was 25 years ago.

Thank you for always being my best friend, confidant and sounding board.

Thank you for smiling at me from across the room in a crowd of people to let me know that you still know I am there.

Thank you for being the first person I want to call to talk about a personal victory that might be small in the eyes of others, but monumental to me.

Thank you for being the first person I want to share my thoughts and writing with you.

Thank you for being my rockstar, chauffeur and health advocate over the years.

Thank you for always telling me the truth.

Thank you for sharing all the road trips with me and doing most of the driving.

Thank you for allowing me to be a collector of books and hats.

Thank you for helping me finish my thoughts. As my health declines and my thoughts are harder to find, you always make it a little easier.

Thank you for reminding me to eat and take in fluids.

Thank you for telling me to go to the doctor when I am just tired of going.

Thank you for seeing how tired I get in social settings and making sure I do not overdo it.

Thank you for finding so much in life to laugh at and with.

Thank you for your relentless pursuit in making our life better.

Thank you for laughing at and getting my dark sense of humor. I am thankful for your dark sense of humor.

Thank you for being the most selfless person I know.

And thank you for making me want to be a better man, not because of some expectation that you may have of me, but because I want to become a better man.

Thank you for showing patience as I walk through this health journey.

As we celebrate our 25th Anniversary, I love you more today than the day we said “I do.” Happy Anniversary! ~OC

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Happy 25th!

Today, Laura and I are celebrating our 25th Wedding Anniversary. When you start out on this journey called marriage, your 25th anniversary seems so far away. But, as many people told us as newlyweds, time flies when you are having fun and it sure does.

We met at a singles event along the walking trail in Palm Beach, FL in January 1999. We enjoyed some great conversation and laughs, but we both did not walk away thinking that’s the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. No, that would come a little later. But not much later. But we took those first few months to pray and get to know each other better.

So in April of 1999, we got engaged. I told you it was not much later. Then on September 3,1999, we both took vows to love, respect and cherish each other for the rest of our days. Oh, we also committed to love each other through sickness and health. Little did we know what was ahead of us in that area of our marriage. I think Laura drew the short stick on that one.

As many of you know, just a few years into our marriage my health started to decline. What we thought would be a short story of overcoming health issues, has turned into a twenty-two year and counting crazy beautiful journey. One that has drastically changed our marriage and our lives. But I believe Laura would agree, it has made our marriage and our lives stronger.

As we have walked this crazy health journey, we have been surrounded by some amazing family and friends. Some of those friends have been part of our love story from the very beginning. I am so thankful for their support during our journey and for having them share in so many special moments with us over the last 25 years.

The past 25 years have been filled with some tough moments. We have dealt with issues most couples will never deal with or at least not until they’re later years. We have been told countless times, that I would not make it for another 24 hours. We have celebrated countless holidays with me in the hospital. But through all of those tough moments, we dealt with them together. And we laughed. One of the promises I made to Laura on the day we got married, was I would make her laugh every day. Even through the storms of life, I am happy to say I have kept that promise. As Laura and I have traveled this journey we realize that marriage is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. We have made our marriage a priority and kept God at the center.

As we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary today, we count it all joy for the amazing journey God has allowed us to experience together. We know every day and every anniversary is a gift. A gift we never take for granted. So today, we will spend some time reflecting, celebrating and laughing. Always laughing. Together. ~OC

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Keep Overcoming!

Today’s a new day! During my 22 year crazy beautiful health journey, I have met many amazing Overcomers. These heroes have overcome so much, as they have run their own crazy beautiful journey. The journey has not been easy. Many have been wounded.

To all my fellow Overcomers, never doubt God has an amazing plan for your life. You may feel your life is out of control, but know God is still in control. Even during your darkest moments, I encourage you to hold on to hope. I encourage you to stay strong . Do not allow discouragement or fear to keep you from the purpose God has designed just for you. Yes, even as you run through your own crazy beautiful journey, God has a plan for your life. A purpose for your pain. Just keep your eyes focused on Him. God is with you this very moment- you only need to be still. He’s got your back. Keep Overcoming! ~OC

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Thoughts on Friendship

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have seen many of my friendships change. More than ever, I have looked for my friends to stand by me and catch me before I fall and break, like Humpty Dumpty.   

But like a “trust-fall” exercise gone wrong – right when you need their safety net the most – a lot of friends aren’t there. And sometimes the fall is hard.

The pain and disappointment of slowly losing friends can be overwhelming. It’s a blindsiding blow that you never see coming.

Since my health journey started way back in 2002, I have been hurt by the unpredictable disappearance of a number of friendships that I truly thought were solid.

As I have walked through this loss, I initially reacted the way most who are rejected and took it personally, adding insult to my health journey.

The following questions have flooded my mind at different times during my health journey:

Was it my fault somehow?

Was it something I did or said, or didn’t do or say?

How did I not see this coming?   

Those questions never had any real answers and just kept me spinning in an unresolved circular loop. That began to shift when I learned that many people dealing with chronic and longtime health issues deal with the very same issues.

I began to realize that many times the friends who left were the very people I believed I could count on the most.

I began to realize the issue was not me, but was those friends. They either lacked compassion, a willingness to be uncomfortable or they just couldn’t handle watching a friend decline day by day and year by year.

I guess I just assumed some friends would always be there for me. I thought wrong.

Maybe they excused themselves by rationalizing that they were “too busy”?

I have had some friends share they don’t want to bother me. That I need my rest. You can only rest for so many hours in a day.

I have friends not think to invite me to some function because “I did not think you would be up for it.” You never know unless you ask.

Other friends have mentioned they just figured my house is always full of company. Not the case.

Or, maybe for some, it’s because they are still able to hold onto the illusion that they maintain a level of control – something I have clearly lost in many ways. No cold, hard reality has come along to shatter that for them yet.

Who really knows why some friends chose to leave.

I have wondered if it’s realistic to think we can really know or count on the staying power of our friends until we encounter and work through adversity together.   

Things that we believe are shared between us – unique connection, loyalty, understanding, tolerance, mutuality, honesty, trust, humor, etc. – are much easier when they are not put to any serious test.

Since there are no friendship vows, I have had to get clear about my boundaries and the friendship qualities that matter the most.  

During this health journey, I have had Christian friends question my faith and asked what sin am I living with? Our one of my favorites, everyone is going to die; you just know what your dying from. Another favorite is “Well you have lasted this long.”

Once I got past the sting of some friendships fading like a sunset, I started focusing on the friends who have stuck around. They are more important than those friends that have chosen to fade away.

Those friends who have decided to run the race with me are like a healing balm that constantly renews my weary spirit. Thank you.

These wonderful souls in my life, show me that there are still many compassionate people out there who truly understand how to be a true friend.

Friendships lost is an experience that I didn’t ask for and didn’t want, yet it woke me up to not settle for anything less than solid, real and caring friendships. ~OC

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Let Go To Grow

Several people have inquired about Todd taking an indefinite break from social media and sharing his daily thoughts. He wanted to share a few thoughts about his decision to take some time away from the world of social media.

Today’s a new day! When I hear God speak to my heart, I have learned that it serves me well to listen.

So a few weeks ago, I heard God share that it was time to take a break from social media. Then I started questioning the role of social media in my life, comparing and contrasting the pros and cons of it. I have taken breaks before so I thought about those times, too. Then it pretty much dawned on me as the following words were impressed upon me in a real way:

I was not created to spend so much time on social media. These platforms should not take away from time reading, journaling, praying and most importantly spending quality face to face time with real people.

There are some beautiful benefits about social media. They allow us to interact with old friends and meet some amazing people from all over the world. To stay in touch with loved ones. To read and hear about their life experiences. To pray for people. All amazing things. The problem is that social media always demanded more than I truly wanted to give.

The different social media platforms offer us endless opportunities to share our everyday lives, to pose questions, share world events, our opinions and photos of our favorite foods. There is always something to post or respond to. For me, it never stopped. If I missed a day of posting, I would have multiple people reaching out to me asking why I did not post. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a lot of pressure.

The good and bad thing with social media for me personally, is that I really tried to use my accounts to encourage and love on people. I could probably sit around all day long and just be corresponding with people. People feel comfortable sharing their life journey with me. So many people feel like they’re stuck or they’re hopeless. So they would reach out to me. I found myself pouring so much of myself out into so many people. Not complaining because it’s always my honor to connect with people willing to share their amazing life experiences with me. But a few weeks ago, I realized if I truly wanted to help and serve people, I needed to make sure that I was taking care of myself. Which was not always the case.

So, I have officially been off social media and not sharing daily thoughts for about a week. I have used that time to focus more on the truly important things in my life. I have enjoyed a quieter and less hectic week. Being off social media has given me the beautiful gift of rest and peace.

Will I return to social media at some point? I am not really sure. As I have taken a break from social media, God has given me this simple phrase “Let Go to Grow.” ~OC

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Choose Wisely

Today’s a new day! As I run this crazy beautiful health journey, there is nothing I can do to change my current prognosis. But there is something I can do as I continue to battle with my health. Every morning, I get to choose how I deal with my current health issues. I can choose to let this journey be all about me and walk around in victim mode or I can choose to look at the beautiful opportunities this health journey has created for me. Opportunities to share my health journey, my faith and hopefully to encourage someone running their own crazy beautiful health journey. Each morning, I get to choose how I live. You have that same choice every day. Choose wisely. ~OC

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A Gift

Today’s a new day! Believe it or not, this crazy beautiful health journey is a gift, and I do not intend to waste a day of it. Have I experienced tough moments? Yes, I have. Multiple surgeries, multiple near death experiences, hours of treatment and too many hospital stays to count. But during this long journey, God has allowed me to hear the stories of some amazing people and share my own story. If I had allowed my health issues to become my identity, I would have missed out on so many beautiful moments along the way. Does my life look different than what I had dreamed of? Yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I no longer rush through life. I embrace every moment. My life is not dictated by meetings and deadlines. I make it a point to connect with at least one friend a day. My goal is no longer to climb some corporate ladder, but to build bridges of love and encouragement. A time clock has been replaced by a get to clock. This health journey that the world would deem a negative, has become a story of hope and overcoming. My body might be broken, but I will allow God to pick up the pieces and create something beautiful. I invite everyone to come along and run this beautiful journey with me. ~OC

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Faithful Friend

Today’s a new day! Sadly, as I have run this crazy beautiful health journey, several friends decided to walk away. But this is not about them. No, this letter is for you.

Dear Faithful Friend, I want you to know you are one of the greatest blessings God has ever given me. Coming from a person who has watched many friends walk away, I am thankful that I never had to see what it would look like as you walked away. You have been a constant. You have been persistent. You have been faithful. You have constantly showed me that people are capable of caring unconditionally. Friends like you are hard to find these days, even in people who call themselves Christians.

I am thankful that you have never left, as I have run this crazy beautiful health journey. You haven’t just stayed during the good times, you have decided to run with me even as my body has went through one trial after another. You care for me even when I have nothing to offer.

You have seen the worst parts of this health journey. You know the good and not so good in this season. You know God gives us things exactly when we need them… that’s proven to be true because of the fact that He has blessed me to call you friend. Our paths crossed because God saw that I needed a faithful friend. He was right. I needed someone who intercedes in prayer on my behalf without me asking. I needed someone who would sharpen me as I walk through this journey.

I have studied the Bible to see what it means to be a good friend and most of the things I have read are qualities that you possess. I have seen you run with me at my weakest moments. You have been an honest voice. I have seen you build me up and encourage me. You have had my back in ways I will never be able to truly thank you for.

I am so thankful for your friendship.
I can only pray that I have had a small impact on your life. You have helped me become a better person as I run this crazy beautiful health journey. I pray for you and your family on a daily basis and I hope you know that I am here in all seasons for you, just like you have been there for me. I do not write any of this lightly. Thank you for being a faithful friend. I am thankful for your friendship in my life. ~OC

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