Tag: health

Keep Overcoming!

Today’s a new day! During my 22 year crazy beautiful health journey, I have met many amazing Overcomers. These heroes have overcome so much, as they have run their own crazy beautiful journey. The journey has not been easy. Many have been wounded.

To all my fellow Overcomers, never doubt God has an amazing plan for your life. You may feel your life is out of control, but know God is still in control. Even during your darkest moments, I encourage you to hold on to hope. I encourage you to stay strong . Do not allow discouragement or fear to keep you from the purpose God has designed just for you. Yes, even as you run through your own crazy beautiful journey, God has a plan for your life. A purpose for your pain. Just keep your eyes focused on Him. God is with you this very moment- you only need to be still. He’s got your back. Keep Overcoming! ~OC

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Thoughts on Friendship

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have seen many of my friendships change. More than ever, I have looked for my friends to stand by me and catch me before I fall and break, like Humpty Dumpty.   

But like a “trust-fall” exercise gone wrong – right when you need their safety net the most – a lot of friends aren’t there. And sometimes the fall is hard.

The pain and disappointment of slowly losing friends can be overwhelming. It’s a blindsiding blow that you never see coming.

Since my health journey started way back in 2002, I have been hurt by the unpredictable disappearance of a number of friendships that I truly thought were solid.

As I have walked through this loss, I initially reacted the way most who are rejected and took it personally, adding insult to my health journey.

The following questions have flooded my mind at different times during my health journey:

Was it my fault somehow?

Was it something I did or said, or didn’t do or say?

How did I not see this coming?   

Those questions never had any real answers and just kept me spinning in an unresolved circular loop. That began to shift when I learned that many people dealing with chronic and longtime health issues deal with the very same issues.

I began to realize that many times the friends who left were the very people I believed I could count on the most.

I began to realize the issue was not me, but was those friends. They either lacked compassion, a willingness to be uncomfortable or they just couldn’t handle watching a friend decline day by day and year by year.

I guess I just assumed some friends would always be there for me. I thought wrong.

Maybe they excused themselves by rationalizing that they were “too busy”?

I have had some friends share they don’t want to bother me. That I need my rest. You can only rest for so many hours in a day.

I have friends not think to invite me to some function because “I did not think you would be up for it.” You never know unless you ask.

Other friends have mentioned they just figured my house is always full of company. Not the case.

Or, maybe for some, it’s because they are still able to hold onto the illusion that they maintain a level of control – something I have clearly lost in many ways. No cold, hard reality has come along to shatter that for them yet.

Who really knows why some friends chose to leave.

I have wondered if it’s realistic to think we can really know or count on the staying power of our friends until we encounter and work through adversity together.   

Things that we believe are shared between us – unique connection, loyalty, understanding, tolerance, mutuality, honesty, trust, humor, etc. – are much easier when they are not put to any serious test.

Since there are no friendship vows, I have had to get clear about my boundaries and the friendship qualities that matter the most.  

During this health journey, I have had Christian friends question my faith and asked what sin am I living with? Our one of my favorites, everyone is going to die; you just know what your dying from. Another favorite is “Well you have lasted this long.”

Once I got past the sting of some friendships fading like a sunset, I started focusing on the friends who have stuck around. They are more important than those friends that have chosen to fade away.

Those friends who have decided to run the race with me are like a healing balm that constantly renews my weary spirit. Thank you.

These wonderful souls in my life, show me that there are still many compassionate people out there who truly understand how to be a true friend.

Friendships lost is an experience that I didn’t ask for and didn’t want, yet it woke me up to not settle for anything less than solid, real and caring friendships. ~OC

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Let Go To Grow

Several people have inquired about Todd taking an indefinite break from social media and sharing his daily thoughts. He wanted to share a few thoughts about his decision to take some time away from the world of social media.

Today’s a new day! When I hear God speak to my heart, I have learned that it serves me well to listen.

So a few weeks ago, I heard God share that it was time to take a break from social media. Then I started questioning the role of social media in my life, comparing and contrasting the pros and cons of it. I have taken breaks before so I thought about those times, too. Then it pretty much dawned on me as the following words were impressed upon me in a real way:

I was not created to spend so much time on social media. These platforms should not take away from time reading, journaling, praying and most importantly spending quality face to face time with real people.

There are some beautiful benefits about social media. They allow us to interact with old friends and meet some amazing people from all over the world. To stay in touch with loved ones. To read and hear about their life experiences. To pray for people. All amazing things. The problem is that social media always demanded more than I truly wanted to give.

The different social media platforms offer us endless opportunities to share our everyday lives, to pose questions, share world events, our opinions and photos of our favorite foods. There is always something to post or respond to. For me, it never stopped. If I missed a day of posting, I would have multiple people reaching out to me asking why I did not post. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a lot of pressure.

The good and bad thing with social media for me personally, is that I really tried to use my accounts to encourage and love on people. I could probably sit around all day long and just be corresponding with people. People feel comfortable sharing their life journey with me. So many people feel like they’re stuck or they’re hopeless. So they would reach out to me. I found myself pouring so much of myself out into so many people. Not complaining because it’s always my honor to connect with people willing to share their amazing life experiences with me. But a few weeks ago, I realized if I truly wanted to help and serve people, I needed to make sure that I was taking care of myself. Which was not always the case.

So, I have officially been off social media and not sharing daily thoughts for about a week. I have used that time to focus more on the truly important things in my life. I have enjoyed a quieter and less hectic week. Being off social media has given me the beautiful gift of rest and peace.

Will I return to social media at some point? I am not really sure. As I have taken a break from social media, God has given me this simple phrase “Let Go to Grow.” ~OC

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Choose Wisely

Today’s a new day! As I run this crazy beautiful health journey, there is nothing I can do to change my current prognosis. But there is something I can do as I continue to battle with my health. Every morning, I get to choose how I deal with my current health issues. I can choose to let this journey be all about me and walk around in victim mode or I can choose to look at the beautiful opportunities this health journey has created for me. Opportunities to share my health journey, my faith and hopefully to encourage someone running their own crazy beautiful health journey. Each morning, I get to choose how I live. You have that same choice every day. Choose wisely. ~OC

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A Gift

Today’s a new day! Believe it or not, this crazy beautiful health journey is a gift, and I do not intend to waste a day of it. Have I experienced tough moments? Yes, I have. Multiple surgeries, multiple near death experiences, hours of treatment and too many hospital stays to count. But during this long journey, God has allowed me to hear the stories of some amazing people and share my own story. If I had allowed my health issues to become my identity, I would have missed out on so many beautiful moments along the way. Does my life look different than what I had dreamed of? Yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I no longer rush through life. I embrace every moment. My life is not dictated by meetings and deadlines. I make it a point to connect with at least one friend a day. My goal is no longer to climb some corporate ladder, but to build bridges of love and encouragement. A time clock has been replaced by a get to clock. This health journey that the world would deem a negative, has become a story of hope and overcoming. My body might be broken, but I will allow God to pick up the pieces and create something beautiful. I invite everyone to come along and run this beautiful journey with me. ~OC

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Faithful Friend

Today’s a new day! Sadly, as I have run this crazy beautiful health journey, several friends decided to walk away. But this is not about them. No, this letter is for you.

Dear Faithful Friend, I want you to know you are one of the greatest blessings God has ever given me. Coming from a person who has watched many friends walk away, I am thankful that I never had to see what it would look like as you walked away. You have been a constant. You have been persistent. You have been faithful. You have constantly showed me that people are capable of caring unconditionally. Friends like you are hard to find these days, even in people who call themselves Christians.

I am thankful that you have never left, as I have run this crazy beautiful health journey. You haven’t just stayed during the good times, you have decided to run with me even as my body has went through one trial after another. You care for me even when I have nothing to offer.

You have seen the worst parts of this health journey. You know the good and not so good in this season. You know God gives us things exactly when we need them… that’s proven to be true because of the fact that He has blessed me to call you friend. Our paths crossed because God saw that I needed a faithful friend. He was right. I needed someone who intercedes in prayer on my behalf without me asking. I needed someone who would sharpen me as I walk through this journey.

I have studied the Bible to see what it means to be a good friend and most of the things I have read are qualities that you possess. I have seen you run with me at my weakest moments. You have been an honest voice. I have seen you build me up and encourage me. You have had my back in ways I will never be able to truly thank you for.

I am so thankful for your friendship.
I can only pray that I have had a small impact on your life. You have helped me become a better person as I run this crazy beautiful health journey. I pray for you and your family on a daily basis and I hope you know that I am here in all seasons for you, just like you have been there for me. I do not write any of this lightly. Thank you for being a faithful friend. I am thankful for your friendship in my life. ~OC

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Life Buckets

Today’s a new day! Too much selflessness is not always healthy. We must keep our life buckets filled or serving others will be unsustainable.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey the last 22 years, most eyes have been on me. How I am feeling and what I need. All too often my bride and caregiver has been overlooked and overwhelmed. Her life buckets tend to run on empty. I believe that’s true for most caregivers.

Caregivers usually take a backseat to those they’re caring for and rarely do caregivers have caregivers of their own.

Thankfully when I got sick back in 2002, God helped me realize that Laura could not and should not have to do everything on her own. She needed people to come along side her and make sure her life buckets didn’t run dry. I am thankful for those who have decided to be Laura’s caregivers.

God also helped me realize that Laura needed breaks from being my caregiver. So over the years, I have encouraged Laura to plan trips with family and friends. To find things that fill her buckets. To live and embrace life away from my crazy beautiful health journey. Thankfully, Laura has found many things that help fill her life buckets.

I pray if you’re a caregiver or know a caregiver, you will take the time to check out the life bucket situation. To make sure no one’s buckets are running on empty.

This post is geared towards caregivers, but we all need to keep an eye on our life buckets. Because if we truly want to serve others, we need to make sure our buckets are full. What fills your life bucket? ~OC

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God’s Word

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I cling to the promises of God’s word. One of those promises is found in Isaiah 40:29, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Even when our bodies are struggling to find strength, God lifts our hearts with hope and comfort. He gives strength to the weary and weak. If you have ever felt weary and weak you qualify.

The astonishing thing is the way He chose to do it. It does not take the mending or healing of our bodies. We do not have to be propped up with the comforts of this world. God did it all with the power of his word. It is true, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4). If your soul is starving today, find nourishment in the reading of God’s powerful words and promises.

Today, if you find yourself weary, worn, and ready to throw in the towel, I want to remind you that He gives strength to the weary. My prayer is that you’re experiencing God’s strength and peace this very hour. Know this, one day, you will look back on your troubles, whether in this life or on the beautiful shores of eternity, and you will say, “God pulled me through. He gave me the strength I needed.” The One in whom you trust does not faint or grow weary, and his understanding is unsearchable. ~OC

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Hope

Today’s a new day! I believe Hope is one of the most important tools in our toolbox. Hope is not based on our circumstances. No, it’s a firm conviction, a way of seeing the world. Hope is what carries us through difficult times. We know God is in control, regardless of what our struggles might lead us to believe. We trust suffering is temporary and that God will use even the worst of situations for good. Evil might have the first word (cancer, broken relationships, etc), but we boldly proclaim that God will have the final word.

Many times in the last twenty-one years, I’ve found encouragement in 2 Corinthians 12:8-9, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I may or may not regain my health. That’s in God’s hands. But as I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I will hold on to God’s hope, love and grace. That’s more than enough for me. ~OC

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Prayer

Today’s a new day! Prayer has been a major part of my life. Especially, as I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey. I have learned a lot about prayer during this time. I thought I would share a few things I have learned about prayer over the years.

I believe prayer is an act of listening to God, not just talking. Prayer begins with listening, or being still as the Psalmist says. Without this, I believe prayer can be downgraded to transactional communication.

Prayer was not designed to be transactional. Prayer is relational. I believe we must learn to listen to God before prayer will have the true meaning He desires for each of us to experience.

During this crazy beautiful health journey, I have learned a lot about just listening to God. Being still.

As I shared earlier, I believe prayer begins with listening. But it eventually becomes a way of life. I believe prayer is a divine attentiveness to the things of God in our everyday lives. It’s an increased awareness of God’s movement in the world. I believe this explains why Paul tells us to “pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17)

Over the years as I have learned to sit still and just listen to God, I have found peace in my health journey and in every area of my life. What a beautiful gift.

When prayer truly becomes a way of life, nothing happens by chance. No moment stands alone. Everything is connected. Good or bad, nothing is wasted. Every circumstance is an opportunity to see God, a realization of his movement in the world.

Prayer, the transformative kind, cannot be rushed. Short little pop up prayers are not wrong. God can use those prayers in powerful ways. There is also nothing wrong with scheduling a time for prayer. But I believe to truly experience God and the Spirit’s fruits (love, joy, peace, etc.), prayer must become something our day revolves around rather than something crammed into an already busy schedule.

I encourage everyone not to hurry through prayer. You just can’t. In America, everything is built on speed. We’re an on-demand, right this minute culture. And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, it’s toxic when we try to impose these cultural values onto prayer.

A few more thing I believe we sometimes miss about prayer.

Prayer is intensely personal and extremely intimate. When it comes to intimacy, how you approach it with God is how you approach it with everything in your life. If you struggle to find intimacy with God, it will impact intimacy with your spouse, family, friends, and everyone else you connect with in life.

Prayer shapes our capacity for relational intimacy. It’s hard to be intimate with another divinely-created person when you’re not intimate with the divine Creator.

My health issues continue to be a battle, but I strive to be still and listen to God throughout my day. By doing this, I feel more connected to God and I am more grateful for my life and relationships. I am also more concerned about the wellbeing of others. This journey is not all about me.

Coincidence? No. I believe my increased intimacy with God has given me a different lens in the way I look at people and the world.

So, as I continue to walk out this health journey, focused and intimate prayer will continue to be a major part of my life. I pray as you walk out your own journey, prayer will guide your steps and become a special and life changing time in your daily life. ~OC

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