Tag: Journey

Men and Mental Health

Today, I am writing about a tough subject but one I believe is very important. As many of you know, my current health issues make it very difficult to share or write down my thoughts. I have actually been working on this piece for several months. I know it’s rather long, but I hope you will take the time to read it. Also, even though my health issues are of a physical nature, this health journey has been filled with moments of sadness and feeling a bit lost.

Today’s a new day! June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. I speak with so many men who feel the need to take care of everyone else, but tend to ignore the issues going on in their own lives. So men, today I want to share a little about taking care of yourself.

We have all heard the age-old saying, “Real men don’t cry.” As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey, I have tried very hard to take a stand against this toxic perspective because real men indeed cry, laugh, hurt, and heal. It’s about time that we stop being afraid to talk about men’s mental health, the different struggles we deal with and start speaking some truth. It’s time to get real.

So, why is it that men’s mental health is still stuck back in the 1950’s in so many ways?

In a world that often misunderstands and judges men for showing some emotions and having real conversations, it can be frightening to bare our souls, not for sympathy or attention, but for connection and understanding. I am often asked why I have chosen to be so open and transparent about my health battle? Well, simply– it is therapeutic for me, and I hope it offers a beacon of hope and understanding to someone out there, walking through their own struggles.

From a young age, the world dictates a playbook on “How to Be a Man,’ essentially promoting a culture where men feel the need to wear a mask, suppressing their true feelings and emotions.

But I believe it’s time to ditch that old playbook and rewrite a new one. A playbook that is open to real conversations. A playbook that encourages men to reach out to other men and discuss the tough issues that we have been taught to suppress. It’s time for real talk. It’s alright to feel, to break down, and to reach out.

I believe many men are concerned about being judged for sharing their feelings and being real. Sharing my experiences and being vulnerable hasn’t always been a walk in the park. In fact, at times it’s like walking a tightrope balancing between being open and the fear of being misunderstood or judged.

But, we must get past the fear of being judged so we can experience true healing. As I have shared my own story, not only have I experienced healing but have seen the power of healing touch other lives around me.

Yes, men’s mental health is indeed a real thing and let us not turn a deaf ear to this issue, but lend a listening one, a shoulder to lean on, and an encouraging word to someone walking through a tough season.

So, how do we rewrite the playbook on men’s mental health? It starts with you and me. It begins with acknowledging that mental health is not a sign of weakness, it is not a cry for attention, but a genuine call for help.

If you or someone you know is dealing with some mental health issues, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength and courage to fight back.

The road to unmasking and understanding men’s mental health is a journey filled with speed bumps, turns, and rocky roads. But I encourage you to embrace the journey with all its imperfections and challenges.

In conclusion, remember that it’s alright to stumble, to fall, but most importantly, to rise again, with a life filled with hope, passion, purpose and laughter. Never forget you matter, you belong and you’re loved. ~OC

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Don’t Give Up

Today’s a new day! You never know how much purpose and blessings are wrapped up in your battle. Don’t give up! ~OC

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Keep Pressing Forward

Today’s a new day! Life is full of hard times. I do not think that is breaking news to anyone. The nightly news point to it. Our neighbors and coworkers talk about it. Our hearts feel it. So many people are going through hard times right now. Let’s face it: Life is hard, even in the best of times. Disappointments, illnesses, loss, broken relationships, dashed dreams. As we walk through these difficult moments, what does the Bible say about getting through adversity?

Plenty, actually! God knows we’re living in a broken world, but He has not left us to suffer alone.

First, when we’re in the midst of hard times, it can be difficult to remember that nothing happens without the knowledge of God, who “works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). You are not victim of random occurrences; you are a child of a Heavenly Father who wants to turn adversity into opportunity.

We also need to keep uppermost in our minds that hardships don’t last forever—but the things we learn from them do. The Apostle Paul writes the following words in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18,

“Therefore we do not lose heart. . . . For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Adversity in God’s hands can help us refrain from our self-dependency and pride. It can push us into deeper intimacy with Jesus. It can redirect our paths toward our greater good, and toward God’s greater glory.

Tough times also can reshape us. Think about Romans 5:1-5, in which Paul says that “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope… Or 1 Peter 5:10, in which the apostle Peter teaches that “the God of all grace … after you have suffered a little, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.”

Who doesn’t want to be a person of character, full of hope, strong and steadfast?

It’s all in how we react to those tough moments in life isn’t it? A good place to start is to discern the source of the adversity. Is it just circumstances? Maybe you’ve lost your job due to the budget cuts, or your chronic illness is currently getting the best of you. You could be suffering from physical, mental or emotional exhaustion from the current trials you’re facing. Life is hard!

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey and study God’s word the overall message I continue to hear is to turn to Him and trust Him. Persevere! That’s what Hebrews says: “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised” (Hebrews 10:36).

Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Don’t opt out! Remember, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

You aren’t going through hard times alone.  No matter what, remember to Keep Pressing Forward. Stay Focused. Finish Strong. ~OC

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Do These Words Still Ring True?

As I read the powerful words on the Statue of Liberty that millions of beautiful immigrants have proudly read when entering America, I wonder if they’re words that people fleeing horrible situations in their native countries can truly read and believe in. My heart breaks for all of the amazing immigrants who are waking up every morning, not knowing if this will be their last day in America. It saddens me that so many families have no idea when law enforcement personnel will knock on their door, be waiting for them outside of their place of employment or worship. To be escorted to a plane and taken away without any due process.

I will continue to pray for all of the immigrants that have come or will come to America with the hopes for a better life. I pray these words will be lived out by our political leaders and the citizens of America. May we always be a welcoming and bright light for the world. May the following words always ring true. ~OC

Welcome All
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Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate

Today’s a new day! I have been what my bride calls a “Professional Patient” for almost twenty-three years now. During this journey, I have encountered health professionals who appeared to be more concerned about egos and status than they did my well-being. For some medical providers, I was just a name on a file who happened to have very good health insurance coverage. They knew more than me because they had the title of Doctor attached to their name. Being so foreign to how the world of healthcare worked, Laura and I just went along with whatever the doctors or medical professionals directed us to do. They’re the professionals. They know what’s best for me. Right? In the famous words of Lee Corso from GameDay on ESPN, “Not so fast my friend.”

As Laura and I began to navigate this new world called the healthcare system, we found out that the most important voices were our own. If we did not stand up for my medical needs, who else would? That’s when we realized we needed to become not only our own healthcare advocates, but we needed to help other patients walking through their own crazy beautiful health journey. We recognized being a “Professional Patient” was actually a full time job.

Over the years, we have had to privately and sometimes publicly voiced some of my medical concerns. Which is not naturally part of my DNA. Or so I thought. But this is my life and my health we are talking about. As Laura and I have weaved our way through the world of health challenges, here are some of the most important pieces of advice I believe I can offer for those walking through their own health journey.

* Do not wait to speak up and share your thoughts and concerns. You know your body better than anybody else. If something doesn’t feel right or sound right speak up. If your medical team truly cares for you they will welcome this dialogue.

*Do not be afraid to get a second or third opinion. This is your life. We only get one.

*Do not be afraid to change doctors or hospitals if needed. Find a medical team that you truly feel has your best interest at heart.

*Have a great support system that can speak up on your behalf when you are unable to.

*Never stop learning about new treatments and medications that pertain to your health issue. Do not hesitate to share that information with your medical team. Once again, if your medical team cares for your well-being they will welcome those conversations.

*Take the time if your health allows, to help someone else navigate through this overwhelming healthcare system .

*Remember, it’s called practicing medicine for a reason. Your doctor and medical staff are human. Mistakes can happen. Allow those to be a teaching moment for all parties involved. Be kind and respectful, but firm.

*Be patient with yourself and your medical team. The healthcare system can be messy, stressful and complicated. Do not be afraid to show a little grace to yourself and others.

I really hope this helps someone navigating through a maze called the healthcare system. Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate. ~OC

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That First Christmas…

Today’s a new day! I love the Christmas season. The songs, the lights and everything bright and merry. As I was listening to the classic “ I’ll Be Home For Christmas”, I started reflecting on that first Christmas so many years ago.

Joseph and Mary were not at home. They were not surrounded by family and friends.

That first Christmas was not beautiful to behold when viewed from a human eyes. There were no fun holiday parties to attend with friends and family. No prizes for the best Ugly Christmas Sweater. There were no merry songs “making spirits bright.”

That first Christmas was a dark, musty barn with little more to offer than a manger with some straw. It was strangers—smelly, dirty strangers—visiting instead of the faces of familiar loved ones. It was feeling far away, lonely, and no doubt afraid and anxious because of the unknown.

That is what “Joy To The World” first looked like.

That first Christmas was about a young couple who followed an unseen God on a journey that was impossible to understand—a journey that led them into a dark, lonely, and humble place so that The Light could break forth in an unexpected and glorious way.

Joseph and Mary would not have chosen to script their story the way it unfolded. If they had, there wouldn’t have been a virgin birth. There wouldn’t have been a stable visited by shepherds. They wouldn’t have chosen to leave their loved ones to travel so far from their comfortable home at such a delicate time. Joseph wouldn’t have chosen to face the utterly disappointing words “There’s no room at the Inn”, for his needy bride. Had they chosen to write their own story, it would have looked better to the human eye.

But . . .because they chose to let God write their story, it was beyond beautiful. Because they accepted God’s story for their lives, their arms were the first to embrace the human form of The One who had held them and carried them to this point. In the midst of obscure details and overwhelming circumstances, Joseph and Mary went. There they were rewarded by the physical presence of the Almighty God. Joseph and Mary went, but Jesus came. 

He came! That is why we can sing “Joy To The World” with such happiness this Christmas season.

The story of Jesus is that He came. He came in the form of a precious baby. Jesus came to change lives. He came to bring great tidings of comfort and joy. Jesus came to bring peace on earth. The world forever changed on that first Christmas night.

Emmanuel, God With Us, still comes. That’s His story. That’s our story.

When we throw ourselves into accepting and loving and living out His Story without reservation, we find out what an overwhelming, beautiful story and gift it really is. Merry Christmas! ~OC

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Never Give Up

Today’s a new day! Life can be hard. There are times when we feel like giving up. The weight and challenges of the world can feel overwhelming. But never forget, you are stronger than think. We read in Philippians 4:13, that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. This isn’t just a feel good verse; no it’s a promise. No matter how hard life gets, you have the strength to keep moving forward. Every challenge you face is an incredible opportunity for growth. The journey might be hard, but it’s forming you into a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. Keep moving forward, even when life is difficult because every step forward brings you closer to your breakthrough. To your purpose in life. Keep holding onto hope. Keep the faith and the strength that you were created with. Remember, you have what it takes to keep persevering. Better days are ahead. Do not miss the lessons during the tough times of your life. Never give up! ~OC

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Celebrated

Today’s a new day! Go where your celebrated,not where your tolerated. Protect your peace. Always be who you were created to be. ~OC

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