Today’s a new day! If you don’t know how to pray, consider taking the list of things you worry about the most and ask God to help with that. ~OC
The Talk
Today’s a new day! As most of you know, Laura and I do not have any children. But we have been blessed with some amazing god-children and have both worked with young people most of our careers. I wanted to share that before writing the following.
Over the years, I have been blessed with friends of all colors and backgrounds. I know my African-American friends have different talks with their children. Every African-American parent I know at some point, has had to have “the talk,” the proverbial sit-down where they engage their children in a serious discussion about how African-Americans are treated by police. They explain how to converse with police, how to make eye contact, how or when to show respect, how, when necessary, they must sometimes genuflect to unjust authority in order to protect themselves.
Inevitably, it’s not just one talk. Circumstances force African-American parents to have a series of conversations throughout their children’s lives, because racism is a constant presence.
In light of yesterday’s incident with Miami Dolphin’s wide receiver Tyreek Hill being pulled over, handcuffed and placed face down on the ground, I know a lot of African-American parents once again had “the talk” with their children.
In the face of almost daily occurrences of racial violence against African-Americans, sadly there cannot just be one talk about how young people should conduct themselves when interacting with police. As a community we must teach our children, god children, nieces and nephews every day to help them navigate the communities they live in. We should all be talking to students and young people about racism in America. And not just when there is another racially motivated incident. Having healthy conversations about racism is the only way we will ever experience any type of racial healing in America.
Early on, children are taught not to play with electrical outlets and to be careful near a hot stove. Hopefully they are taught to say please and thank you, and to be nice and share. Just as organically as parents teach their children to look both ways when crossing the street, we should be giving them regular, developmentally appropriate lessons about race and racism. As we’ve seen, over and over a bad run-in with a police officer can be as fatal as a car accident. Failing to have these conversations can put young people, especially young African-American men in great danger.
Please do not be under the false illusion that avoiding these conversations will shield your child from the horrors of racism; they will absorb this information somehow. And if we ignore it, that’s the lesson they’ll learn from us.
I know these conversations can be heart-breaking as they are necessary, especially when they touch a child’s life directly.
Over the years, Laura and I have tried our best to become more knowledgeable about the racial issues from America’s past and present. We have taken time to have real and difficult conversations about race with our African-American friends. We have chosen during those conversations to listen more and talk less. Laura and I have taken the time to read and study the history of America. All of its history. We continuously encourage our family and friends of every color and background to study the complete history of America.
My prayer is that we would never see another African-American be pulled over by a police officer just because of the color of their skin. But sadly, that’s the world we live in. So parents, family members and friends, make sure you’re having “The Talk” with your children. Regardless of color. ~OC
Scream, Scream, Scream
Good Morning! As some of you know, I have been dealing with kidney stones for the last few week. The pain has been some of the worst I have ever dealt with. Probably having surgery this week to remove them. But I figured I might as well have some fun with it. So I wrote the following. As you read it, do so with Justin Timberlake’s song Can’t Stop The Feeling! on your mind. Feel free to laugh and dance.
I got this feeling inside my kidneys
It’s like I’m being stabbed with a rusted out knife, my screams can be heard throughout my home, all through our condo down to the city streets, my body feels the pain and I can’t turn it off,
I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming
What I got going on in my stomach doesn’t feel like any type of sunshine in my pocket and when I jump around it’s not because I’ve got any soul in my feet, I feel that hot pain in my kidneys when my stones wake up and say hello, I guarantee you their not The Rolling Stones, but I agree with Jaeger I can’t get no satisfaction, even pain meds can’t take my mind off it, I pray it would just stop
I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming
Nothing I can do but scream, scream, scream, as the pain intensifies I just scream, scream, scream
And that pain ain’t leaving until the surgeon takes away those dancing stones
After the stones are removed, It will be something magical, and I will dance, dance, dance and move so phenomenally, I will finally experience some satisfaction. Can’t wait to stop this feeling. ~OC
Thoughts and Prayers Must Equal Action
Today’s a new day! This past Wednesday we witnessed a deadly school shooting in Georgia and then yesterday we witnessed an unknown person shooting at random people on a highway in Kentucky.
When we witness these tragedies, so many reach out with words of comfort. Usually those words include “thoughts and prayers.” But we have to do better than “thoughts and prayers.”
Over the years as our nation and world has faced so many tragedies -some created by humans and some by nature, we have been challenged to reflect and pray.
I know people are well meaning, but as we have faced tragedy after tragedy, I have become tired of hearing the words “thoughts and prayers” and I do not believe I am alone.
Let me take a moment and share I believe in thoughts and prayers. My life is built on prayers. But thoughts and prayers without action are just hollow words at best.
When we hear elected officials who could create laws to curb violence or provide adequate help to clean up after storms, we must cry out. We must demand real change takes place.
We cannot just fill our social media pages with “thoughts and prayers.” We must step up and speak out.
Our thoughts and prayers help victims of tragedy if those thoughts and prayers lead to action.
Our thoughts and prayers help in a variety of ways. But they help most when they move us to action.
What I believe is needed is a national movement toward solutions that eliminate or at least lower some human made tragedies like gun violence and hate crimes.
As a human being and more importantly as a Christian, I am dedicated to thoughts and prayers, if they lead to real change. Prayer is the first action I take when I see or hear news of another tragedy. And I will keep on praying wherever and whenever necessary.
What I will no longer do is quickly post or say to someone “my thoughts and prayers are with you.”
No, I think Instead, we should start saying the following:
*My heart breaks for you. I am praying for the wisdom to do what I can to prevent further tragedies like this. I will work to put those thoughts and prayers into action.
*I will also pray that the people we elect will turn their “thoughts and prayers” into action. And my action will be to research and support those candidates. I encourage you to do the same.
Let’s begin to be people who think beyond “thoughts and prayers” and turn tragedies into life changing action. Who’s with me? ~OC
Enough is Enough
Praying for all of our teachers, school staff and students. Bless and protect them. No one should ever have to live this experience. It’s well past time for common sense gun laws. How many more times do you want to write “thoughts and prayers” on your social media pages? Enough is enough. ~OC
Twenty-Five Years. Twenty-Five Lessons.
Earlier this week, Laura and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been 25 years. This year to celebrate 25 years together, I want to share 25 things we have learned in this crazy beautiful journey. Obviously, we have learned more than 25 things, but these are the things that came to mind as I was writing this blog.
1). Pray continually.
2).Our faith in God, is what holds us together. It’s the foundation for our relationship.
3).Protect your marriage by always putting it first…before self, before kids, before career, before parents, before friends. First. Period.
4).It’s ok to talk about how you feel. Just make sure those conversations are filled with respect.
5).Time alone together is important. Date Nights and getting away together once or twice a year is healthy for your relationship.
6).Learn the other person’s love language.
7).Laughter is good for a relationship.
8).Develop a shared interest. It can be simple. Laura and I like to travel and just sit around our house and chill.
9).You will face challenges in life. Work through those tough moments together. Always together.
10).Don’t allow family, friends or cultural to dictate your marriage.
11).In-laws can be challenging at times, but also a beautiful blessing.
12). Marriage not 50/50. It’s 100/100. However, you will not always both be able to give 100% and that’s ok. There will be times you and the Lord will carry things for the both of you. That is Love.
13). Don’t keep score.
14). Make the choice daily to love your spouse.
15). Serve your spouse even when you’re tired and maybe you don’t feel like it.
16). Communicate! Don’t keep things bottled up.
17). It’s ok to agree to disagree.
18). Having a separate interest is okay as long as it doesn’t interfere with your relationship.
19).Listen and let them know they are truly heard.
20). Tell your spouse you’re proud of them.
21). Support their dreams.
22). Critique with love.
23). When life gets tough, remember what you love about them
24). It’s a treasure to have someone to walk through the highs and lows of life with you.
25). Love always.
I am forever grateful that God has blessed me with a bride who loves God first. Also I have always known Laura loves me even on my worst day.
As I reflect on our 25 years together, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 comes to mind:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
To those couples that might be reading this post, I pray you will cling to the Lord and each other. It’s what has carried Laura and I this far and I know it will you as well. ~OC
Between the Mourning and Tears
Today’s a new day! Another mass shooting in America. More tears. More pain. One more community devastated by gun violence. One less person at the dinner table. When will America wake up?
As I digest yet another senseless act of gun violence in America, I have to examine my own life and asked what can I do to be a positive light in a dark world?
As a Christian, I am called to remember that God chose to enter a time as violent and faithless as our own and that the light of God cannot, will not, shall not ever be overcome by the darkness of this world. What will I do with the light I have been given in the healing life, witness, death and resurrection of Jesus? Will I stare at the flame and pretend I don’t see the darkness around me? Or will I carry God’s call to put down my sword, love my enemy, and pray for those who bring harm to the world?
But I must confess; in the light of another mass shooting, sometimes it feels like what can I really do to help? The situation feels overwhelming. l long for more help, for God to come in a new and powerful way. That His love will act like a consuming fire that will burn up all the ugliness— all the negativity that mares the beauty that I know is here. Sometimes the most honest and faithful prayer I can lift up to God for America is, “Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us, because we are sorely hindered by our shortcomings, let your bountiful grace and mercy help and deliver us.”
But, we must all stand up and take action. Some of these actions will be individual and some will involve working with other people. Some of the discernment about what should be done will happen alone, in prayer, and some of it will happen in a crowded room of people who are disagreeing, respectfully, about our next steps on gun violence and other issues that are effecting our little piece of the world. But together we must press for discussion, debate, and action on the issues facing our communities. Mournful silence is an option, but only if we sinfully close ourselves off to God’s clamoring in our hearts to be part of the change.
So in between those cries for God to come, to save us in ways we cannot, we are free to make choices, each day to make a difference. We know what human beauty would look like, what it would sounds like. So why don’t we let it have its moment? ~OC
Here We Are Again
Here We Are Again. Another school shooting in America. Lives lost and families changed forever. Another day of violence against students and school staff at a place that should be safe. Violence as they laughed, talked about their weekend, their hopes and dreams. Another day of senseless violence and death.
Another day that we have seen played out too often across America. Another day of politicians stepping up and offering their thoughts and prayers. I for one, am tired of hearing these tired and worn out thoughts and prayers. We’ve heard them over and over again, with no action behind them. We will just have to hold our breath until another school shooting happens. And unfortunately, it will happen again. And again.
Just like after every other school shooting, we will hear two different views.
The first will be from parents, students and concerned citizens that as a nation we need to step up and create meaningful and common sense gun legislation. That we should learn from this latest school shooting and never allow it to happen again. Something so many have been working for since we heard those frightening words Breaking News: School shooting at Columbine High School in 1999. That was twenty-five years ago.
The second view, will be people expressing anger that people would call for accountability and change before the blood has even been cleaned off the floors and walls. And the appropriate response in the moment is “thoughts and prayers.” These are typically the same people who fiercely defend gun rights. Who appear more concerned about their 2nd Amendment rights than the lives lost in these senseless school killings.
And why is it, that a great number of those worried about their gun rights are Christians. Before I continue, let me share that I am part of the Christian community. But I cannot sit around in silence and listen to my brothers and sisters in Christ once again yell the loudest about their gun rights and refusal to have meaningful conversations about real change when it comes to gun laws. And let me make this clear, I am not advocating for the end of the second amendment. My question is why aren’t Christians the loudest ones calling for laws that would protect innocent lives? They certainly are not shy or quiet about calling for laws to protect the unborn. Isn’t all life sacred? Is it possible that some people are more concerned about their guns than they are for people? Could it be possible that this love of guns and commitment to making sure they always have as much firepower in their hands as they want, reveals that there is a spiritual problem driving gun violence in America and that we the people are at the heart of that problem?
As Jesus walked the earth, he creatively demonstrated what non-violence can look like in the face of a cruel and violent world. He taught us what it means to stand within the world but not be of the world. Jesus taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Maybe we just don’t believe him.
As we experience another school shooting, people will express anger and advocate for sensible gun legislation, and other people will condemn that anger and call for thoughts and prayers instead. Every time there is a school shooting, we watch this same series of responses play out on social media and across political aisles like some well-rehearsed script we’ve all agreed to follow. This production is getting old. Gun violence has become as American as apple pie and baseball. And personally I am pretty sick and tired of it.
Students, teachers and school staff are dying simply by going to school. Over and over. Some people grieve by way of tears and silence. Some grieve by way of anger, shaking their fists and crying out “why?” I can hear the psalmists in the first response and the prophets in the latter.
Our response to school shootings or any type of violence, like so many issues that polarize us is shaped by our life experiences to the degree one is willing to forego individual liberty for the common good. When “our rights” have greater value than what is good for the community as a whole, I have to wonder how we got here. In scripture, Jesus repeatedly calls us to put our selfishness aside for the good of our neighbor and for the good of our community.
In the wake of another school shooting, my heart would break again if as a nation, we failed to advocate on behalf of victims of gun violence or call for laws that value human life and the common good. Together we are the body and the voices that speak vision for a better and safer world. So therefore, we have a responsibility to relentlessly press towards that vision.
I do not believe anyone can honestly say we do not have a gun problem in America. In my humble view, both action and prayer can be appropriate ways to respond. But prayer alone, without action has literally never worked to bring healing to the problems of the this world.
When we experience a school shooting we should shed our tears. We should pray. But we must speak out against the violence and killing that continues to destroy our country. We must say no to the madness. ~OC
Thoughts and Prayers
Today’s a new day!
You can call me…
A Liberal
A Snowflake
Anti Gun
Anti 2nd Amendment
Overreacting
But, I am tired of seeing students, teachers and staff killed just for going to school. Thoughts and prayers are just empty words if there is no action taken. ~OC
No Masks
Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I embrace my own brokenness. And through that brokenness, I walk in grace. The trials of life reinforce my need for God. I will continue to run in beautiful transparency without wearing a mask to hide the pain and scars of this crazy beautiful journey. To truly live out this journey being who I was created to be. ~OC
The Blessed Overcomer 