Tag: Memories

Marriage Vows

Today’s a new day! On this date twenty-six years ago, I had the honor of marrying my bride Laura. When we shared our vows on that Friday night we had no idea that the majority of our marriage would center around my health issues.

Like every newlyweds, we thought The big stuff, the hard illnesses, would come later in life. That definitely has not been part of our story.

I was taken by surprise when life-threatening illness hit our home – and even more surprised when it happened to me. Without any warning signs, I began experiencing severe fatigue and muscle weakness. Within a few months and after a number of tests, Laura and I were told I had several forms of crippling arthritis. Only to find out a year later, I was actually dealing with a very rare type of cancer. (only 2% of the population deals with this type of cancer). We had no idea how that diagnosis and then multiple life threatening diseases would become part of our everyday lives.

My wife Laura and I were still in our honeymoon season of our marriage. This kind of thing wasn’t supposed to happen. I felt helpless as Laura cared for me in addition to working her full-time job and working on her masters degree. While I was in the hospital, she stayed by my side, trying to work and get some rest in some uncomfortable chairs. Watching her husband struggle to just breathe at times.

Over the years, Laura has taken on most of the she household responsibilities. She makes meals, vacuums and chauffeurs me to multiple medical appointments. She does this all with a smile and encouraging words.

I was and still am blown away by how Laura continues to care for me all these years later. At times, I have found myself frustrated that I cannot do more to make her daily grind a little easier. Her kindness continues to overwhelm me.

As I reflect on this health journey we continue to walk together, it gives me a deeper appreciation of God’s purpose for marriage. Sacrifice is lived out in homes around the world as couples serve each other through illness, financial crisis and family issues. No matter their story, husbands and wives face opportunities to love without seeking anything in return. Why? So they can experience God’s heart through one another and live His love for one another.

Every opportunity we have to serve our spouse gives us the chance to live out the love story God crafted for us. He gave His Son so that we could have life. There was nothing we could give in return – nothing we could do to pay Him back. And yet He chose to give anyway.

Laura continues to live out her commitment to stand by me in sickness. She has more than fulfilled her marital vows – she has become a living illustration of God’s love. ~OC

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Flashing Neon Sign

Today’s a new day! As with many neurological illnesses there is nothing noticeable about my condition. It’s not like a broken leg or arm where there is a cast which is obvious when seeing the person. But I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the same old words since my diagnosis last fall, Todd, you do not look like you have dementia.

I often wonder if it comes down to the fact that people feel uncomfortable talking to me about it, so they say the first thing that comes to mind. Which at times can come across as very insensitive and judgmental. Since my diagnosis of early onset dementia caused by my Parkinson’s, I have had several people tell me I do not look or act like someone with dementia. Or Todd, maybe you’re just dealing with an infection of some kind and just need to take some antibiotics. I would be overjoyed if that was actually the case. But I have some amazing doctors and they didn’t come up with this diagnosis lightly.

What does dementia look like? There is no cast or bandage to put on it. I guess I could wear a flashing neon sign that says, “HELLO, I HAVE EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA!” that lets people know of my latest diagnosis.

But seriously, I am walking through a very new and strange season of life, but I know I am not the only one. It simply gets frustrating when people decide to find a different diagnosis or make you doubt your current state of health because they do not like the diagnosis. It can be irritating and cruel when people doubt you and your medical team. Believe me, no one wants to sit in a doctor’s office and hear the words “You have early onset dementia.”

I do think that part of this attitude is because people have a hard time believing someone in their 50’s could have an “old person’s” disease. Also the topic of dementia is not an easy or fun subject to talk about. It can be easier to just ignore it or try to explain it away.

I also believe people have their own preconceived beliefs about dementia and I and many others suffering from this horrible disease do not fit in their picture of dementia.

So please do me a favor. Stop putting your personal beliefs or opinions on those suffering from a visually invisible disease or one that you don’t like. Life with dementia is already hard enough. Thanks for listening. ~OC

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The Race Called Life

Today’s a new day! During my running days, I was blessed to complete 350 marathons. Yes, you read that correctly. I can take no credit. It was all God pushing me through those marathons. People often ask me why I ran 350 marathons? I tell them I did not like the number 349.

It’s been a number of years since I was able to run based on my health issues. While I would have never considered myself a professional by any means, I like to think I learned a few things during my running days. Like how to stabilize my breathing (well, I did my best) and how to run at a steady pace. Once again I tried my best. Running is a lot like living the Christian life. We have many lessons to learn. I learned a lot of lessons during my running days that I have been able to apply to my Christian journey.

One of the first lessons you learn when you start running is that you need to have endurance. Whether you’re running a 5K or a 50 miler (yes, I did that), you need to train so that you can run at a steady pace and not get worn out quickly.

The Christian life requires endurance as well. Life can seem long and hard as Christians, especially in the midst of challenges. Many people have made the comparison that life is a marathon, not a sprint, and the same goes for the Christian life. As the writer of Hebrews says, “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised” (Hebrews 10:36).

When you’re running, especially long distances, you want to lay aside everything that could weigh you down so that you only have the essentials. Lightweight shoes and light breathable clothing. As a runner you need to find the perfect balance between bringing what is necessary and those things that would just weigh you down.

In the Christian life, we are called to lay aside what weighs us down—namely, sin and any idols in our lives. Hanging on to those idols can cause our faith to falter and stumble. Letting go of idols in our lives frees us to live a life that is dedicated to Jesus. As the writer of Hebrews says:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1–2)

As a runner, you come across trials and challenges. Whether that’s a heatwave, snowstorm, rainstorm, or injury, runners face challenges that impact their race. You can never predict these trials and instead you just have to take them as they come. But you cannot allow the obstacles in life to keep you from living the race God has designed just for you.

In the same way, as Christians we can face unexpected challenges and suffering. From a poor diagnosis, a lost relationship, a lost job or a broken family. This race called life can be difficult. But thankfully, we are being made perfect through the grace of God. As James writes in James 1:2-4, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”

My prayer is that we will all run this race called life with endurance and receive the beautiful gift of eternal life. ~OC

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My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

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College Football In The South

Today’s a special day. Like every other properly raised Southern person it’s my favorite time of the year; college football starts today. Team shirts, hats and jackets are out, Saturday menus and BBQ’s are planned, and the big games are being taped so we don’t miss a bit of action.

That’s college football in the south.  It’s a celebration.  It’s a tradition.  It’s a way of life from late August through bowl season.

For as far back as I can remember, Southeastern Conference football has been a part of my life. Every Saturday I have planned my Fall Saturdays around Florida Gators football. Over the years I have attended numerous games at The Swamp. There is nothing like it. I have been to other college stadiums and NFL games, but nothing compares to sitting in The Swamp on a Saturday with over 90,000 of my closest friends.

Even being grown and married, very little has changed on any given Saturday afternoon in the fall.  The Florida Gators are still the team to root for on those Fall Saturdays. Southeastern Football is still the programming of choice. Those Saturdays are still filled with get togethers or at least texting family and friends throughout the game.

College football is still a special time in the South at any age. Go Gators!! ~OC

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Beauty Marks

Today’s a new day! Instead of looking at our scars in a negative light, make the choice to look at your scars as beauty marks. Our beauty marks help tell our story and lets the world know that God is faithful and is healing us every day. Let your scars shine! ~OC

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Our Scars Tell A Story

Today’s a new day! As you have walked through this journey called life, you have experienced storms and trials that have left some scars. As I have traveled through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have collected my fair share of scars. We all have scars. Some are visible and some are invisible to the public eye. Scars can be painful and most of the time we choose to hide them from the world. But the last few days, this question has kept coming to my mind, “How does God view my scars and how can He use them?”

When I look at the multiple scars across my body, I can recall the day they became part of my story. As I shared earlier, I have collected my fair share of scars over the years. But I believe our scars, whether physical or caused by deep trauma tell the story of of our struggles and how God has helped us overcome those scars.

As I look at the scars that dot my body, I truly believe God has great purpose for each one. I think our scars are meant to make us stronger. Each one has a story and a lesson behind it. I believe our scars are beautiful to God.

Our scars should be a reminder of what Jesus went through for each of us on the cross. And remember when we get to heaven, Jesus will be the only one who still has his battle scars. The scars Jesus suffered should be a constant reminder to us of His great sacrifice and love for us.

No matter how deep the scars whether visible or not, God loves us and can use our scars and our pain to help someone else dealing with their own painful wounds.

As we continue to walkout this journey called life, remember our scars are beautiful to God because He loves us more than we could ever imagine and He desires that we share His love and our scar filled stories with others. ~OC

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Prayers For A New School Year

Today’s a new day! A new school year starts for many today. I want to pray for this new school year. ~OC

Dear God, as a new school year starts, I want to pray for each of the students, teachers, administrators and school staff. May they each experience patience, wisdom, and a school year filled with hope. God, I pray this school year is filled with amazing opportunities and blessings. I also pray this school year is filled with Your peace and safety. May this school year be filled with amazing success and memories. I pray all of this in Your powerful and matchless name. Amen.

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Never Give Up

Today’s a new day! I think most people do not like to be uncomfortable. Most people do not like the hard moments in life. Most people do not like to be burdened or inconvenienced. Yet, in the tough moments in life, God never calls us to give up. Instead, He calls us to keep on pushing and trusting Him, even in the most difficult moments.

As a former marathon runner and someone who has been walking through a crazy beautiful health journey for over twenty years, I am used to being uncomfortable. I am used to the hard moments in life.

As I have walked through the tough moments in life, here are a few lessons I have learned:

Never give up on your prayers.

Never give up on the people God has placed in your life.

Never give up on your dreams.

Never give up on yourself.

Never give up when you face hard times or failures.

Most importantly, never give up on God.

The beautiful thing about God and his amazing grace is that He never gives up on us. He calls us back even when we decide to stray away and do things on our own. God is always there waiting for us with open arms. Remember, every battle we will ever face was defeated on the cross when Jesus gave his life for us.

I am not sure what type of season you’re walking through at this moment. Maybe you have been praying the same prayers over and over for years, but they seem like they will never be answered. Don’t give up.

I want to encourage you to never limit God and put him in a nicely decorated box. Allow Him to work through you and never give in to those temptations to give up.

Looking back on all of my marathons, I am so glad I completed each of my races and never gave into the temptation to quit. Based on my health, those marathons were never easy on my body, but each taught me about overcoming and to never give up.

I believe our faith and life journey is like a marathon, it’s not promised to be easy, it’s going to be hard and full of twist and turns, but our finish line and reward in eternity is far greater than anything we could ever imagine.

So today, keep pushing, keep fighting and never give up. ~OC

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” ~2 Timothy 4:7

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Dear Men of God,

Today’s a new day! My apologies to all the ladies today. The following post is geared towards men and the importance of men having solid friendships with other men.

Today, I write from a position of painful experiences. Today, I believe God is calling me to be transparent as I share the following message.

I have tried for years to be involved in Christian men’s groups. Unfortunately, most have never produced much fruit. Several have caused pain, loss and mistrust. Even with that said, I am still open to being part of a Christian men’s group. But not one that is more concerned about a man’s social status in society than they are about the man’s heart. Not easy to find. I definitely do not want to be part of any men’s group that preaches we need to be a man’s man in the likeness of John Wayne.

In a society that celebrates rugged individualism, Christian men are often left searching for and craving connection, but unsure how to or where to find it. Men, the Bible calls us to community. In Ecclesiastes 4:9, we read that “two are better than one.” Yet so many men are struggling to forge deep, meaningful friendships with other men. I am one of those men.

The consequences are real. Loneliness among men are at their highest rates in decades. Loneliness can lead men to make some poor choices, which can ultimately lead to brokenness.

I believe for men to be better husbands, fathers and friends, we need to be surrounded by not just mere acquaintances, but by brothers who sharpen each other “as iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17).

The Bible is full of scriptures that tell us that we are all created for relationships. Even men. In Genesis 2:18 we read, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” While often shared at wedding ceremonies, this verse actually speaks about our need for companionship. Jesus himself modeled friendship, calling his disciples “friends” (John 15:15).

For Christian men, friendships should not be a distraction from our faith but a cornerstone of it. Men, we need to be surrounded by other Christian men offering accountability and encouragement.

Yet men often pursue other gods—careers, social status, or some type of hobby before seeking out true friendships.

True friendship are a beautiful gift and I believe, an important part of living a life that honors God. In Proverbs 18:24, we read those life changing words “a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” a bond that mirrors Christ’s sacrificial love. Such friendships require intentionality and spending quality time together. And not being afraid to leave the shallow end of conversations and dive into deep, sometimes hard conversations. True brotherhood is also about laughing together and enjoying life.

Men of God, the stakes are high. Loneliness and brokenness are stealing our peace, our joy and our witness. But I believe true brotherhood, rooted in God’s love, can restore each of us. ~OC

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