Tag: Pain

Some Shocking Truth

Good Morning! As I continue to go through some old journals, I keep finding some old treasures. I guess I can title this collection of writings “The Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2017.

Today’s a new day! Here’s some shocking truth for some: Jesus is not an American. Jesus did not come to create a blueprint for Americans to be Americans. But it seems as though our identity as Christians has blended with our identity as Americans, where it is often hard to differentiate what value comes from where.

Because in America, we have substituted the freedom that was given to us by God the Father (Galatians 5:1) for false freedom that was established by human fathers. In America, we have substituted the safety and security we have in the hands of God the Father (Psalm 91:1-2) for safety and security found at the hands of human fathers. In America, we have substituted the goal of building the kingdom of God (John 18:36) for building the kingdom of this country. 

Let me be clear: This is not a political post. This is not an anti-America post. But more generally and over the longer term, I’m afraid that our pursuit of what it means to be American has undermined our pursuit of what it means to be Christian.

So the new question I have been asking is, what does it mean to be a Christian in America?

The answer to this question can unlock a freedom that is not found in the question of who is saving America from destruction but rather in the question of who the Savior of my life is (John 8:36). And the answer to this question might actually cause me to lose safety and security for the sake of others finding safety and security in Jesus (Philippians 2:4). Because answering the question of what it means to be a Christian means answering the question of where Jesus is calling me to follow him (Matthew 16:24). 

So for some, this new question will cause us to look at the pain and suffering of those around us with compassion and ask Jesus to guide us in how he is wanting us to engage with lives that look different than ours (Colossians 3:12). For others, this question will cause us to look toward those who have caused us pain with mercy and loving-kindness and ask Jesus to guide us in how he wants us to engage with the lives of those who seemingly oppose us (Ephesians 4:32). But the invitation in asking the question of what it means to be a Christian in America is an invitation to stop looking at policies, people, and parties and to start looking at Jesus.

This American question has divided us, and the world is watching the internal implosion of the Church. But they are also looking for hope. And as long as we are asking the wrong question, we are unable to show them the hope we so desperately desire that they see (Colossians 1:27).

I pray everyone will take the time to reflect on this post. I pray everyone has a beautiful day. ~OC

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Friendships…

The last few days, I have been going through old journals and finding some old writings. Here is one I wrote back in 2019.

Today’s a new day! So many people kick the terms “best friend,” “best friend forever,” “BFF,” or “bestie” around like a soccer ball , hoping the person they kick it to will kick it back at them.  I have no doubt that for some people, the friends they make in their youth stick with them for a lifetime.  But as we grow older, we realize that true friends are rare.

Some friends are here for only a season of our life – school days, college, young married, a missions trip– and then when the ties that bind them loosen, they slowly (or quickly) exit our lives. I do not think this lessens the value of the relationship.  We need various people to learn from and lean on during the different seasons of our lives.

What can weaken a friendship? Two friends may mature at a different pace, or sometimes interests change.  Distance can have a huge impact, if someone moves, or perhaps there’s a complete change in lifestyle. Are there friendships that can withstand any or all of these conditions?

True friendships withstand the test of time and the changes that can put obstacles in the way of a stress-free relationship. That is, it’s easy to be friends with someone who is available, who you have much in common with, and who you agree with on most issues.

I’ve learned that true friendship does not have much to do with what you have in common, though, of course, commonalities are needed, especially since they bring you together. What holds your friendship together is a deep love and concern for the other person’s well being. You care, so you continue to be there for that person.

Friends show up in times of trouble. During my crazy beautiful health journey, I have found out who my true friends are. Who those 3am friends really are. For those friends that decided to move on, I continue to pray for you and only want the best for you.

True friends are honest with each other, and they accept the other person’s honesty. They do not let petty arguments come between them. They forgive each other. They realize that they don’t always have to agree.

True friends give you the freedom to have other friends. They are secure enough to know that if you are a worthy friend, they do not have to do anything to persuade you to spend time with them. They know you have enough love in your heart for all your friendships.

True friends are not difficult to meet up with, and they aren’t hard to keep in touch with, if they live far away. While we all get busy at times, true friends inform each other that their friendship is still important, and both of them make an effort.

Over the years, I have had some friends who pulled out a calendar and listed a handful of dates over the next few months that they could schedule a time to see me. Hmm, I thought, I’m busy too (dying can take up a lot of one’s time), but it shouldn’t be that difficult to find time to spend together. In contrast, I have multiple friends that a quick phone call or text and we are meeting up within hours to catch up.

True friendships are those that bring out the best in you. Your friend should give you energy – not drain it.  How many times have we stayed in relationships simply because the person was present, but deep down we know they aren’t good for us? When possible we should clear our lives of people who drain us and leave space to foster relationships that fill us up with hope and make us a better person.

I believe the mark of a true friendship is intimacy – your friends know and wants to know what is happening in your life. On some level, they stay involved in your life. Indeed, that’s the mark of a true friend.

It goes without saying that to have true friends, we must work at being a good friend.Even after fifty plus years, I am still learning how to be a better friend. I desire to have more friendships that can last the ups and downs of this journey called life. ~OC

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Believe Me…The Suffering Is Worth It

Today’s a new day! I’ve grown comfortable in my wilderness moments. The ups and downs of this crazy beautiful health journey is a place I no longer fear. I know how to operate here. I know how to encourage others that are walking through their own suffering . Because when you walk through enormous trials and God continues to show up in huge ways, you become changed by it. When you stand by people in places that conjure up feelings of death and God’s love swarms around you like it has in no other moment, you start to see even the worst pain differently. You start to see the beauty. The beauty that can be present even in suffering. That amazing message that I will never stop proclaiming because I believe in it with every fiber of my being. That God is present with us in the pain and the suffering of this world. And that He can use everything–absolutely everything–for our good and His glory. Even when it isn’t good in those moments of despair. Even when it feels like a million shades of awful. But remember, this wilderness place is never where our story end.

It’s a question that I have gotten a lot over the years, but I wonder if people actually really want the answer. The question is How could God allow me to walk through so much suffering? This is how I choose to answer that important question. Having a relationship with God and following Him for many years, I see more of His character each day I walk through this pain and suffering. I have experienced God’s outrageous love that has come through for me over and over and over again, in this long and winding road of suffering. I truly believe His ways and His timing are best for me. Let me ask you a few questions. Do you truly want an intimate relationship with God even if it means that enduring pain and suffering is part of the process? If it strips you of pride and idols and all the baggage that just continually brings us down? During my long health journey, I have learned that most people see the world through narrow eyes. They only see the temporal things. They see just what is in front of their face at any given time. And often what is staring back at them is so overwhelming–how could they possibly see anything else? But we have to look at the full picture standing in front of us. We have to think about how our stories ultimately ends.

Our God who gives us the choice of whether or not to love Him–because could we truly love Him if He didn’t give us that option? God is too big to accept that kind of response. He wants us. All of us. God wants us to love Him for who He is because He already loves us for all of who we are. And with the option to love Him also comes the option not to love Him. To go our own way and forge our own identity. We all have a will to choose, and we all at different points choose the wrong thing. And the world is broken and full of pain and how do we even begin to reconcile it all? How do we reconcile that God is still good? He promises to be our God. Our deliverer. Our Savior. Our refuge. Our strength. God promises that we are held safely in His everlasting arms. So why doesn’t He move those enormous mountains in our paths? Why does God sometimes make us take the slow and grueling climb to the top? The climb that eventually leads us up to the steepest peak where we can look below and see the landscape that was always there, but was just always over the next rise. The view that allows us to take it all in–the whole journey. To see both where we have come from and where we are going. The reality is, God doesn’t remove every single mountain in our path. He wants us to climb them. He wants us to put one foot in front of the other and feel our muscles trembling with every single step. We feel like we are drowning in our struggles and our sorrows and we cry out to Him for rescue, and the waves just get stronger. We forget that He already parted the seas for us. That our lives are not measured from one circumstance to another, but from His Son making the way for us and the forever that still awaits us. That there is another side to the mountain that we are climbing and the narrow road we walk is so much shorter than we could possibly believe. Every single step up the steep road strengthens our bodies and minds to continue the walk home. It can be hard, and it can be painful, and at times we fall over and feel like we could not possibly take another step. But it’s still the amazing road home. Will we make the choice to choose it anyway? Are you going to choose a road that is full of pain and sorrow and hurt? Because God shares throughout scripture, that suffering is part of the path. That suffering will always be a companion on our journey. That in this life we will be hated and slandered for God’s name and that by signing up to walk His way, we are signing up for some struggles and heartbreak. But would He ask this of us if it wasn’t worth it? Evil is running rampant throughout this world. This world can be full of so much pain and sorrow, and it is far too much to bear on our own. There are people all over the world struggling with more than we could possibly imagine, and why does God allow it? But would we know His goodness if He didn’t? Because there is a difference between allowing something to happen and condoning it. Approving of it. And if you spend anytime in God’s word, you will know that He so wholly and completely disapproves. He doesn’t like it anymore than us when we are faced with a huge mountain to climb in our journey –but He will use it. God will redeem it. He will show up and walk the road with us. Because God is good, and He wants the best for us. He can see more than we can and sometimes that means the hard road. Sometimes the hard road is the only road.

Evil is very real, but if we just focus on that part of life, we are missing the whole point. Because evil and wickedness don’t just offend God, they stand in complete opposition to God. He opposes it in every way–His perfect righteousness cannot stand for it. And He will get the final say over it. Ultimately, God will show just how much He does not approve of it. And the fact that God delays to set this world right is actually a mercy–it gives more time for people to come to Him. To choose Him. To take hold of the freedom that He gave us in the garden that we took and totally screwed up. Because as hard as it gets and as ugly and painful as the world may seem, God would not allow anything into our lives unless He knew that one day it would be worth it. That it is worth it when God leaves us in our tragedies. Because when He wages war on all that is evil, the fruit and beauty of our pain will be more than we could possibly imagine. The tears will turn into complete celebration because we will see–we will see what it was all for. Every sacrifice, every sleepless night, every painful moment and the utter senselessness of tragedy. Those very things will become our joy. We have to remember the full story. We have to remember that where we stand right now in this moment is not where our stories end. That our journey began in a garden full of promise and that the freedom that God gave us to love Him and choose Him, we took and turned it on its head and still He comes after us and promises to set it all right. God constantly gives us way more than we can handle, but He can. There is no situation or struggle that we walk into that catches Him by surprise. Including suffering. Including the worst of the worst. Including the darkest and loneliest nights. God is there. He never leaves us. God has already won. And the moments of our journey that we spend in the deep, shape us and allow us to become more like Him in the process. Because God would not lead us straight into the fire without knowing that it was worth it in the long run. And that is the beauty of it all. That as we step further into the darkness of pain and sorrow and still trust God in it, eventually He turns it all to light. The trials that turn into a testimony and a journey that becomes more than us being stuck in an impossible situation, but becomes about our Sovereign God and His strength and power that overcomes it. The deep that we despise becomes light for others walking their own path. The storms we walk into blaming God for and walk out of praising His name.

Remember, God has already won the war and is coming back to finish the final battle and get the final say over all the injustice and ugliness of this world. I, for one, would not have this deep relationship with God without the pain and suffering. Without walking through struggles. The darkest moments of my health journey have led me directly into His embrace. The storms that God allows even in all their heartache because He sees what we cannot see yet and knows that one day even we will find worth and meaning in those darkest moments. So the question becomes are we going to stand with God or against Him? Seeing the world as it is today and knowing what we know, are we going to choose God anyway? Even when all the pain and suffering doesn’t feel worth it, are we still going to trust that it is? Will we run straight into the deepest sea if it is the only way to get to God? Because over the steep rise of that mountain peak, there is beauty beyond measure. And just because we cannot see it yet does not mean that it is not there. Just like how the stars still shine in all their brilliance in the light of day, but only in the night sky can we take them all in. It is there. All the beauty and wonder and joy of our struggles. It’s at the end of this short and sometimes rocky road in the forever beyond. Believe me, it will be worth it. ~OC

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” ~Psalm 46:1

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” ~Hebrews 13:5

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” ~Psalm 23:4

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Breakthrough

Today’s a new day! Prayer is about a relationship with Jesus. When we pray, we are committing our concerns, our worries, hurts, fears and joys to the One who wants to do life with us. We are spending time talking with Him just like a best friend. We need to stop making prayer a one way street, and grow in our relationship with the only one who will never fail us and who is always there for us. He is calling us to spend more time with Him. So my friend, pray about everything! Did you get that? Pray about everything. There are many scriptures that encourage us to pray.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ~Philippians 4:6

God says commit your plans to Him. He wants us to surrender everything to Him. He wants to carry our burdens. God wants to do life with us. The trouble lies when we try to keep carrying ourselves and then get upset when the changes we are crying out for don’t seem to change, or go our way.

We need to learn to let go…..

So, today surrender your whole heart to Jesus. Give Him your life, your concerns, and worries today. Lay it all before Him and then trust what He is doing. Pray for spiritual eyes to see things His way because it doesn’t always go the way we want, but it’s always for our good when we live in relationship with Him.

Maybe you have found deep hurt after praying, or things went badly and you feel scared to let go. I get it. We have all been there. This can be so hard. But when we realize just how much God loves us and His plans for us are good, everything changes and we find healing. We can find beauty from the ashes. The key is to surrender it all to the Lord. Then trust that God is working it all out for our good.

God never promised us a life without trouble, but He did promise He would walk through it with us. So when life throws you a curve ball or you’re stressed out about the pressures of life, stop and do this one thing. Pray. God really does want us to pray about everything because He cares for every area of our lives.

As we have just started a New Year, I know many are praying about a breakthrough in your life. Here are some things I have learned over the years about experiencing your breakthrough.

1). Spend time with the God all day every day through conversation with Him, with worship music, or just sit in His silence. Listen and read scripture. Taking time to journal everything He is saying to you.

2). Repent. Sometimes we get so caught up in us, we forget about Him, so it’s important to ask for forgiveness when we have lost focus.

3). Surrender your plans for His plans. Sometimes it’s just a perspective change in seeing the blessings in the hardship. Learning to totally depend on Jesus is key to knowing His loving character better.

4). Ask for prayer from trusted and Godly family and friends to help carry you in prayer through this season.

5) Be specific in your prayers. Spend time talking and listen to Jesus telling Him exactly what you need. Rather than just saying Lord help me, pray specifically for what you want or need and pray in Jesus name (there is power in the name of Jesus!)! Pray wherever you are and while you are doing all the things, just like you would talk to your best friend. Always praying. Always in conversation with Him being specific.

Here is a prayer, I hope will help guide you through this season.

Dear God, I am struggling to know what to do and how to persevere in this. but God you need me to depend on you and not on my own strength so help me to surrender this over to you. Please forgive me for not despending on you. Where I am weak you are strong so I will depend on you today, so you show up and its not me. Forgive me for carrying the burdens you never intended for me to carry and I release it all over to you today ___________ (speak outloud your struggles you are battling with today).

I pray this post helps you as God prepares you for your breakthrough. Blessings. ~OC

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Guiding My Steps

Today’s a new day! I am thankful as I have run this crazy beautiful health journey, that God did not reveal every step, bump, pothole or curve along this twenty-two years and counting health journey. I cannot imagine how I would have lived out this race, if I would have known how long the journey would be and all that I would have to endure. Knowing the whole story in advance would have been overwhelming. God may not have shown me every twist and turn of this health journey, but He has guided my every step. And as I have leaned into His promises, I have been amazed at everything God has brought me through.

My life and journey has not been about perfection. I have found that one of the keys to living out the toughest moments in life is my daily commitment to serve God in my words and actions. God will never abandon me as I continue to run through the bumps in the road of this health journey. There will be better days ahead and God will be with me every step of the way. ~OC

LORD, you are my portion and my cup of blessing; you hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance ~Psalm 16:5-6

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Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate

Today’s a new day! I have been what my bride calls a “Professional Patient” for almost twenty-three years now. During this journey, I have encountered health professionals who appeared to be more concerned about egos and status than they did my well-being. For some medical providers, I was just a name on a file who happened to have very good health insurance coverage. They knew more than me because they had the title of Doctor attached to their name. Being so foreign to how the world of healthcare worked, Laura and I just went along with whatever the doctors or medical professionals directed us to do. They’re the professionals. They know what’s best for me. Right? In the famous words of Lee Corso from GameDay on ESPN, “Not so fast my friend.”

As Laura and I began to navigate this new world called the healthcare system, we found out that the most important voices were our own. If we did not stand up for my medical needs, who else would? That’s when we realized we needed to become not only our own healthcare advocates, but we needed to help other patients walking through their own crazy beautiful health journey. We recognized being a “Professional Patient” was actually a full time job.

Over the years, we have had to privately and sometimes publicly voiced some of my medical concerns. Which is not naturally part of my DNA. Or so I thought. But this is my life and my health we are talking about. As Laura and I have weaved our way through the world of health challenges, here are some of the most important pieces of advice I believe I can offer for those walking through their own health journey.

* Do not wait to speak up and share your thoughts and concerns. You know your body better than anybody else. If something doesn’t feel right or sound right speak up. If your medical team truly cares for you they will welcome this dialogue.

*Do not be afraid to get a second or third opinion. This is your life. We only get one.

*Do not be afraid to change doctors or hospitals if needed. Find a medical team that you truly feel has your best interest at heart.

*Have a great support system that can speak up on your behalf when you are unable to.

*Never stop learning about new treatments and medications that pertain to your health issue. Do not hesitate to share that information with your medical team. Once again, if your medical team cares for your well-being they will welcome those conversations.

*Take the time if your health allows, to help someone else navigate through this overwhelming healthcare system .

*Remember, it’s called practicing medicine for a reason. Your doctor and medical staff are human. Mistakes can happen. Allow those to be a teaching moment for all parties involved. Be kind and respectful, but firm.

*Be patient with yourself and your medical team. The healthcare system can be messy, stressful and complicated. Do not be afraid to show a little grace to yourself and others.

I really hope this helps someone navigating through a maze called the healthcare system. Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate. ~OC

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Happy New Year!

Today’s a new day! Happy New Year! Welcome to 2025. Not sure about you, but I look forward with great excitement, wondering what God has planned for me this coming new year. What new opportunities will reveal themselves? What new lessons will present themselves? A new year is full of endless possibilities.

As we gear up for a new year, I believe it’s important to take a little time to reflect on the past year. Doing this I believe helps to view each year as a season, understanding that God is Sovereign and has new seasons of experiences and growth to make us more like Him. I can testify 2024 was full of many different emotions. There were moments of grief, but there were also times of joy and happiness. A year filled with many memories and lessons.

As we take some time to reflect back on 2024, it helps us to remember that God is in total control and that we are constantly growing as His children and that He knows the plans He has for each of us. Plans of new wisdom, insight and understanding that He wants to impart to us, if we will allow Him to.

It also gives us an exciting and fresh new outlook of the coming year and enables us to leave the past where it belongs. Not that we forget the past but learn from it and move forward into our present future with open hearts and minds to receive whatever God has for us.

With that said, here are some ways we can look forward to in 2025.

New Beginnings: Start out 2025 with a fresh point of view of new experiences, opportunities, memories and blessings. Have an open mind and heart to where ever God may want to take you with full assurance and confidence that He is always with you. (Matthew 28:19-20)

New Possibilities: There are no limit to what God can do in your life and nothing is impossible with God. God opens doors that no one can shut and also closes doors that no one can open. The possibilities are endless with God. (Philippians 4:13)

New Plans: We walk into 2025 like a blank canvas. Be in prayer for what God has planned for you and be willing to walk by faith in obedience as you follow His leading. Remember that His plans are always for good and not for evil to give you a future and a Hope. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

New Purpose: As you look ahead, God always has a plan and a purpose for what you will go through and experience. Remember that God always has a reason for what He allows in your life and through it you can trust Him completely. (Proverbs 1:3-5)

New Provisions: The Bible says to not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. In 2025, trust in God who knows everything you need. He is our Hope and our Provider. God is faithful and He will do it. (Matthew 6:1-33)

New Growth: When we are willing to let go and let God work in and through us, He will always stretch us and grow us. It is an important part of the growth process. I pray we will all continue to grow in our relationship with God and in His Word. In 2025, allow God to mold you and make you pliable in the potters hand and then watch the master craftsman work in your life in amazing ways.

New Wisdom: With new experiences and new lessons comes new wisdom and insight. Always make it a priority to seek out wisdom as hidden treasure or fine gold. In Proverbs it says that it will be like a garland of grace around your neck and honor you and present you with a crown of splendor. (Proverbs 4:7-9)

Renewed Peace: As you go through new experiences and new adventures whether they are good or bad, my encouragement is to keep your eyes fixed on God and He will give you rest and peace, because He is our peace and loves us and cares for each of us deeply. (John 16:33)

As we spend some time in reflection about 2024, let us give thanks to God for getting us through another year as we look forward to what He has for us in 2025 and praise Him that He is faithful and worthy to be praised. ~OC

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Don’t Fall For The Lies

Today’s a new day! As a chronically ill Christian, the enemy often tries to sell me the following lie: “My illness and God’s goodness cannot coexist.”

Over the past twenty-two years, multiple life threatening health disease have been my “thorn.”  My body has been attacked on many fronts. Many times early on in my health battle, I remember trying to reconcile my suffering with God’s purpose.

As I pondered my place in God’s eyes, questions of doubt polluted my mind:

What did I do to deserve this illness?

If God actually loves me, why doesn’t he heal me?

How could a broken body fit into God’s plans?

By worldly standards, my value depended on what I could do, instead of what God already did.  For someone who has lived in and out of the hospital for the last two decades, a meaningful life might seem to be an unattainable dream.

Unrooted in God’s word, the presence of my health issues seemed to indicate an absence of His affection.

But friend, this thinking is simply unbiblical.  Let’s dispel this lie by replacing it with God’s truth and equip ourselves with biblical instruction for endurance.

Maybe you don’t struggle with a chronic illness, but we all struggle with chronic issues. Whether you’re dealing with multiple health issues, the scars of life that still plague your mind or the same addiction continues creeping into your life, God tells us that no trial can separate us from His Love. ~Romans 8:35

In fact, our trials might be the very tool God uses to strengthen our relationship with Him.  So, as we think about chronic illness, let’s redirect our thoughts from asking “what could I have done differently to prevent my health issues”, to instead asking, “God, how can you work through my current health issues?”

Two words come to mind when I consider how God can work through our challenges to refine our faith: Reliance and Glory.

1. RELIANCE – God can use our current life challenges to encourage us to rely more fully on Him.

For those struggling to understand why God allows hardship to ensue, the book of Job is a masterpiece written just for us. The Bible describes Job as a faithful man with many blessings.  To test whether Job will still praise God’s name even when his life crumbles, God allows the enemy to wreak havoc on Job’s life – striking his flesh and bones with sickness, infecting him with skin boils, and turning his family away (Job 1:4-9).  Job is not only chronically ill, but also chronically lonely, as his loved ones tell him to just give up and curse His Creator.

Let’s pause right here.  God allows the enemy to test Job.  Now, why would God do this? Among many reasons, God uses suffering as a tool to refine Job’s faith. God knows that it is in the valleys that we are encouraged to truly rely on Him.

Amid adversity, Job’s mind is a battlefield much like our own; his thoughts go between wanting God to leave Him alone and begging for God’s support.  In the end, through his wrestle with God, Job remains faithful that God’s promises are true. He trusts that God loves him in his struggles and is working all things together for good.

As we learn in Job, sometimes God allows for challenges, not to punish us, but to strengthen our relationship with Him.When storms arise, may we trust that God’s plans are purposeful.  This means that whether we are battling a seasonal cold or fighting for our lives after tragedy strikes, God’s loving hand is in everything.

2. HIS GLORY – The contrast of our weakness with His Power emphasizes our need for God.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul describes pleading with the Lord to remove a “thorn in his flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7).  In my own life, my “thorn” represents my health battle.

Jesus addresses Paul’s request by equipping him with endurance and explaining that his struggle has a purpose.  Jesus answers, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My Power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).  In this story, Paul’s struggle serves as a reminder of his inherent inadequacy to our all-powerful God, ultimately pointing to his need for a Savior.

Though God denies Paul’s request for healing, He assures him that His grace will help him endure.  Paul is not blessed with healing, but instead, with a more valuable and versatile blessing: the ability to see God’s light in the darkness of his valley.  God doesn’t leave us to dwell in our struggles, He helps us endure.

God’s response gives hope to those whose prayers seemingly go unanswered.  Next time you ask God to remove your “thorn”, may you remember that a lack of an answer is not evidence of a distant God.  God always responds to our requests; His responses just might differ from what we planned.  No matter the response, if we trust God with our lives, we can be sure that He is working for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

As we learn from Paul’s interaction with God, some of our wounds will only heal once we go home to Heaven, but we can trust that our struggles are a part of a beautiful redemption story.

Let’s look at another example of how God can work through our pain to reveal His Power.  In John 9, Jesus is walking around town with His disciples when they spot a man who is blind from birth.  Jesus’ disciples ask him a question that might sound like one you’ve asked yourself before: “who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” (John 9:2).  Sound familiar? The disciples mistakenly assume that this man’s disability is due to his personal sin.

Jesus corrects the disciples, responding, “neither this man nor his parents sinned…This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him” (John 9:3).  With this declaration, Jesus dispels the lie that the only purpose for our trials is punishment, and He communicates that our trials can be used to display God’s power.

Jesus then heals the blind man, confirming his belief and establishing an eternal relationship.

Before his healing, we can’t be sure of how this man’s disability affected his self-esteem, but he might have believed some of the same lies that often ravage our minds.  When measuring himself against societal standards, he very well could have attributed his disability to a distant God.  However, when Jesus enters the scene, it becomes clear that this man’s disability was the very tool God utilized to strengthen his relationship with Him. 

As we reflect on these stories, the Word illuminates God’s heart for the chronically ill: God has a purpose for our pain, His love does not waver, and He will work all things together for good, even the messy parts of our lives.

God does not promise to remove our thorns, but He does promise to help us endure.  Whatever your thorn looks like, may you remember that God provides a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).

Throughout my battle with multiple health issues, medical mysteries, and shattered plans, one verse has sparked hope in my soul: “We do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:12).

Friend, however deep your thorns dig, may you never give up. Keep overcoming and finish strong. ~OC

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A Day In The Life

Today’s a new day! Ever wondered what a day living with chronic illness and health challenges looks like? Today I will take you on a journey into the twist and turns of a day living with long-term health issues.

From the moment I wake up, I’m already facing barriers. My chronic illnesses make it difficult to get going. For those not aware, based on my health issues, I have slept in a recliner for about the past twenty years. It’s just too hard to get in and out of a bed. Every day is a balancing act where I have to be mindful of my energy levels and make sure that I’m taking time to rest. 

An Introduction To My Health Journey:

In 2002, I was diagnosed with multiple forms of arthritis. That year was filled with a lot of experimental treatments. Then in 2003, I was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully I was able to have surgery to remove the tumor and never had to walk through the struggle of chemo and radiation. Let’s speed things up. From 2007-2024, I have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis, Type 2 Diabetes based on all the steroids, had a stroke, diagnosed with cluster headaches and just a few months ago was diagnosed with early onset dementia. That’s my rap sheet!

What My Night and Morning Looks Like :

Based on my neurological issues, I am up and down most of the night. So I never wake up feeling rested. I wake up stiff, so I need to move around and take a host of medications in the morning. Of course meds have side effects, so that can be difficult.

Since I deal with gastroparesis, eating has been a major issue for many years. That makes taking in fluids and food a huge and painful task. So every meal, every day is an adventure.

My mornings are dedicated to spending time with God, journaling and trying to exercise. For me, walking is the best type of exercise for me. I never know how many laps I will be able to get in. I have to be careful not to overdo it. If I do overdo it, my body will pay for it the rest of the day. I spend some time each day for reflecting on life and looking at how I can hopefully encourage others as I continue running this journey. These days, I tend to take a lot of short cat naps. Over the last year, the pain has increased, so that’s a daily struggle. Unfortunately, pain meds and gastroparesis do not really care for each other. So most days, I just live with the pain.

One thing I choose to do everyday is get dressed. I never lay around in my sleeping clothes. It makes me feel good to get cleaned up and get dressed.

My favorite part of any day is spending time with my bride and friends that choose to reach out. Spending time with loved ones is very important to me. I love sitting around and enjoying great conversations. Also, I try to read every day. My love for reading has been challenging the last few years, since it’s hard to stay concentrated. I also spend time listening to music each day. Music can make everything a little bit better.

In the evening, Laura and I like to talk about our day and possibly watch a little television. Based on my day, my bedtime varies. But since I sleep in my recliner, I can fall asleep anytime my body and brain allows me to. Every night is an adventure.

What I consider a daily self-care must do:

Writing about what I’m grateful for in my journal helps me remember the positives, even on those really hard days. Living with long-term health conditions can be exhausting and can be very negative if you allow it to get on top of you. 

Several people have asked if I had one day without pain and could step away from my health journey what would I do?

I would lace up my running shoes and go for a very long run. For those new to my journey, in my healthier days I was blessed to complete 350 marathons.

Another question people asked me a lot: Is there anything I would like to share about daily living with chronic illness and life challenges?

There’s a lot, but I do not want to make this post any longer than it already is. One of my hopes is, people will realise that we never know what someone else is really going through. So be kind and respectful. It doesn’t help when people tell me how I should be living out my health journey. Just be supportive and walk through this journey with me.

By sharing what my day to day life is like, I hope I can raise awareness of the bigger picture as people only see snippets of my journey online or see me on my best days in person. I am not sharing this for pity or sympathy and I am not complaining. I just want to give you some insight into this crazy beautiful health journey.

The Takeaway:

Writing about my day living with chronic health issues has been quite eye opening to me to see how much life has changed over the years. I have a strong need to celebrate the love and support I have received over the years from family and friends. Writing this post has let me see how faithful God has been to me, as I continue to run this beautiful journey.

I hope that you have found this post to be a helpful insight into life with with long-term health issues. There are so many people walking through a tougher battle than me. So if you know someone dealing with chronic illness, take the time to reach out to them and support them on their journey. ~OC

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The Empty Seat

Today’s a new day! As I wake up on this Christmas Eve, my thoughts turn to those walking through hard times this holiday season. On this day before Christmas, some are experiencing their first Christmas season with an empty chair at the table.

This year like so many, I have experienced the loss of loved ones.

The loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, sibling, niece, nephew, friend or the tragic loss of a child creates a hole begging to be filled and a seat at the table that will remain empty.

At times these precious family members may feel deserted. By God, by life, by family and friends who don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

So what do you do for someone who is grieving on what should be one of the merriest days of the year?

I pray the following helps.

1) Your presence and words matter

Saying I can’t imagine…

Nothing more. Nothing less. Those words embrace them, their loss, and their pain, showing you care. Deeply. And you are there, for them, with them, regardless of the pain it causes you to share in theirs.

When we add words after I can’t imagine, we are likely to add our own emotions, thoughts and feelings. Just simply acknowledge their feelings, pain and loss.

I can’t imagine…yet I care. Simply be with them.

2) Say the name of their lost loved one. Hearing the name of that precious person matters and makes a difference in the healing process. Avoiding speaking the name actually hurts everyone there, so share stories, cry and laugh as you recall the amazing life of a loved one.

So say their name…

3) Pull out the pictures! Sometimes the best gift and step to healing is going through old photos or videos. The gift of beautiful memories. Never letting their life be forgotten.

He comforts us. He heals the broken hearted. God is good, even when situations are not, God is. ~Psalm 56:8

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3

So pull up a chair to the table, set a plate and name card for the one who is no longer there and let the stories and memories flow.

Let us honor the ones who have simply gone before us to where we want to be when it’s our turn – dancing and praising in the presence of Jesus.

There is hope in the midst of the sadness. We will see our loved ones again and that is worth celebrating.

On this Christmas Eve, I am thankful God sent His one and only Son Jesus to pave the way for each one of us who love Him. Yes, we miss the ones who have gone before us and left their seat at our table empty, yet we celebrate they are in Heaven. Seated with Jesus at the Heavenly Christmas Table. ~OC

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