Tag: Relationships

The Reality of the Journey

Today’s a new day! Living with a long term chronic illness can feel very isolating. As the years go bye, more and more “friends” decide the journey is too much for them to handle and they have chosen to disappear from my life. How does one handle going from a great group of friends to basically having no true friends I can really count on? Well, I am still trying to figure that out as I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey.

As I look back on my long health journey, I can remember when my phone wouldn’t stop ringing and our house constantly had people coming and going to visit with me. But as the years have passed and my health has continued to be a constant struggle, less and less people are connecting with me. If I do not make the effort to reach out to people, I literally would never hear from anyone. Sadly, that’s just the reality of dealing with a chronic illness or in my case multiple health issues. I have found that people are great when someone first gets sick. Like I mentioned above, the phone calls and visits are nonstop, but when the illness drags on people do not know how to react, so they tend to bail. So how does one handle the loss of friendships or a different type of friendship in the midst of health issues?

I am not writing this post for sympathy, but to share the reality of living with long term health issues. I am writing this for others who are walking through the same experience, but are not sure how to express their feelings.

Personally, I have tried to continue reaching out to friends and stay connected, but that is getting harder and harder as the years fly by. Also, I am getting tired of being the one always making the effort. I have tried being part of men’s groups, but for the most part that has not been a positive experience. But mostly, I have prayed that God would help me be a good friend. I have learned I cannot control who makes the choice to be part of my life. All I can do is put everything into God’s hands and continue to trust in Him.

Like I shared earlier, this is not a post to gain any sympathy, but to share the reality of living life with long term health issues. Thousands or maybe millions of people with long term health issues could have written this post. My prayer is that this post will help people understand the day to day feelings/struggles of people who are walking through a difficult health journey. Thanks for taking the time to read. ~OC

0

The Butterfly

Today’s a new day! Change can feel uncomfortable and painful at times, but if we don’t allow ourselves to go through all the stages of change, nothing will change. We know all too well that change is a constant in life. Many times we fight that change. Especially when it happens so fast.

As I have walked out this crazy beautiful health journey, I have often thought about the butterfly. Do you know on average, butterflies only live two to four weeks. How crazy is that? But think about all the changes a butterfly experiences in such a short amount of time. During my health journey, I have experienced a lot of change. Every new health issue or near death experiences has allowed me to grow and become all that God created me to be. He has used the all my experiences to teach me new lessons and view the world differently.

To become a butterfly, they must first start off as a caterpillar. They begin crawling along the ground, creating their comfort zone. The moment it’s time to change from a caterpillar into a cocoon, they probably think they’re dying. It feels like life is over. Then they experience something beautiful, but probably a little painful. During this health journey, I have experienced many different stages of growth. So many times I truly thought I was dying. I was sure I was breathing my last breath and soon I would experience the freedom of Heaven. Those moments are never easy, but unlike the caterpillar, I did not experience uncertainty or confusion. No, in those moments I experienced peace. I also experienced something beautiful. A new chance at life.

This health journey has been filled with some difficult moments. Those difficult moments have helped me grow into a deeper relationship with Jesus. In this season, I have learned to not fight all the changes going on in my body. I have not let my health issues become my identity, but instead have allowed God to use life changing moments to teach me the lessons He has for me at that moment. God has taught me to embrace each and every lesson along the journey. He has allowed me to embrace the uncomfortable and painful moments. Getting to know your own uncomfortable self is not something to fear, but something to embrace. I promise you, keeping your faith and having the patience to hold on gets a little easier over time. Does it get less painful? Sometimes, but the suffering becomes more about growing in our walk with Jesus and less about the pain. As you walk out your own journey, learn to be patient and not beat yourself up so much. As I continue to walk through this health journey, God has made me stronger, more hopeful and more confident whenever I walk through a cocoon season of life.

So today, make the decision to walk in the light of Jesus and be free. Don’t waste one single minute. Strive for growth, not perfection. Commit to living out your God given purpose. Embrace every moment and surround yourself with inspiring and encouraging people. Strive each day to be all God created you to be. Do not allow fear or past failures to keep you from spreading your wings and flying. ~OC

0

2AM Thoughts

Today’s a new day! It’s 2am on this Tuesday morning. I have been unable to fall asleep. It’s just one of those crazy nights with Parkinson’s and Dementia. So I have walked around the house more times than I can remember. I have watched several YouTube videos to pass the time. Finally, I have decided to share my experience and thoughts with you. Writing is still something my brain allows me to do on occasion. Lately, God has filled my brain with many thoughts. I feel an urgency to write as much as possible before I can no longer do that. Tonight, my brain is extra active. That’s not always a good thing.

I have good days and bad days as I navigate through the multiple health issues that are slowly robbing me of so much. On a bad day, I cannot do anything at all. My energy levels are low and I feel fatigued. The only way I can describe it is that I feel like I have run a hundred marathons in a very short amount of time. I feel totally drained.

But I have lots of coping strategies. I choose to use those days to pray a lot more. I choose to reach out to friends even though I know, I will not hear back from the majority of them.

I think it’s important to have something that gives you a sense of purpose in life. I try to share my journey to help encourage others walking through their own life struggles. If I can help just one other person, that’s enough for me.

When most people think about neurological issues, especially dementia they think it’s all about memory loss. But I have cognitive issues also- trying to figure things out can be difficult and frustrating. Also too many voices at one time can be overwhelming. I get frustrated and anxious if I am struggling to follow the conversation. I also deal with a lot of rigidity and pain, which creates so many issues.

Over the years I have lost many friends as I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey. I believe a lot of people have a difficult time talking to and relating to me. But I am still me. My story has just changed a little. A lot of times when Laura and I are around other people, they will address questions to her, not me. My prayer is that people would see the person, not the disease.

But I am blessed that a few friends have decided to stick around and not jump ship. I hold those friendships very close to my heart.

I choose to embrace each moment of life. I try to share my love and thoughts now. Not waiting for the perfect moment. Because the perfect moment is today. Laura and I do not wait for the perfect moment to buy that gift or take that trip. Now is the perfect time. Now is the perfect time to take care of future arrangements. Which we have done. I did not want Laura dealing with all of that on her own.

It also means we’ve had really indepth chats about what quality of life really looks like. Everyone has to figure that out for themselves and their loved ones.

Life looks different every day. What I could do yesterday, might be more difficult to accomplish today. I continue to live my life with my cup overflowing. I try not to beat myself up too much when I cannot do something anymore. Because there are still many things I can do. So today, I choose to embrace the now and what I can accomplish today. ~OC

2

My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

0

Attitude of Gratitude

Today’s a new day! As we move through the busyness of life, it’s easy to look around at everything we do not have instead of taking the time to slow down and be thankful for everything we do have in life. In the coming days and weeks, I want to focus on having an attitude of gratitude.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have made the choice to be grateful for the lessons and blessings I have experienced along the way. I believe that decision has transformed my life and hopefully a few other people along the way. As a Christian, I have much to be grateful for. I have been blessed with the gift of salvation through Jesus, I have the Holy Spirit living inside me and I have a loving God who cares for me and provides for my needs. But if I am not careful, I can start taking these blessings for granted and focus on the things I do not have.

That’s why it’s so important for us to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Living a life of gratitude can have a profound and positive impact on our overall health and our relationships with others. ~OC

0

Prayers For A New School Year

Today’s a new day! A new school year starts for many today. I want to pray for this new school year. ~OC

Dear God, as a new school year starts, I want to pray for each of the students, teachers, administrators and school staff. May they each experience patience, wisdom, and a school year filled with hope. God, I pray this school year is filled with amazing opportunities and blessings. I also pray this school year is filled with Your peace and safety. May this school year be filled with amazing success and memories. I pray all of this in Your powerful and matchless name. Amen.

0

Walk With a Limp

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out my faith journey, I have experienced wilderness moments on more than one occasion. Those moments when life just beats you up. During those seasons, I am always reminded that I am not God. During the tough seasons in life, I am thankful that God still wants to have regular face to face encounters with me. He wants to hear about my thoughts and concerns. God desires to hear from us and to speak to us. As I continue to walk this journey called life, I am often reminded that my thoughts and opinions cannot compare to the divine, sacred and loving wisdom of our amazing Savior.

As I continue to walk out my faith journey, I no longer walk straight. No, these days I walk with a limp. A beautiful reminder of everything God has brought me through. The struggles I have overcome. As I write this post, I am reminded of the quote by well-known Christian pastor and author, A.W. Tozer, who wrote, “Beware of any Christian who doesn’t walk with a limp.”

Dear Friends, our world does not need more people screaming from the rooftops and declaring that their opinions are the only ones that matter. No, we desperately need more limping Christians, who have walked through the wilderness and encountered God in a powerful and life changing way. We need more Christians walking with a limp, who are more passionate about helping those individuals who are currently walking through their own wilderness experience and who are less concerned about their own opinions.

I believe as we look at today’s headlines and the world around us, we need to stand up and speak out for what is right—to seek justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God. I also believe these days are ones to walk with a limp in humility, kindness, love and grace. I pray we will spend more time seeking God’s purpose for our lives and less time screaming that our opinions are the only ones that matter. Today, I pray we walk with a limp. ~OC

0

Dear Men of God,

Today’s a new day! My apologies to all the ladies today. The following post is geared towards men and the importance of men having solid friendships with other men.

Today, I write from a position of painful experiences. Today, I believe God is calling me to be transparent as I share the following message.

I have tried for years to be involved in Christian men’s groups. Unfortunately, most have never produced much fruit. Several have caused pain, loss and mistrust. Even with that said, I am still open to being part of a Christian men’s group. But not one that is more concerned about a man’s social status in society than they are about the man’s heart. Not easy to find. I definitely do not want to be part of any men’s group that preaches we need to be a man’s man in the likeness of John Wayne.

In a society that celebrates rugged individualism, Christian men are often left searching for and craving connection, but unsure how to or where to find it. Men, the Bible calls us to community. In Ecclesiastes 4:9, we read that “two are better than one.” Yet so many men are struggling to forge deep, meaningful friendships with other men. I am one of those men.

The consequences are real. Loneliness among men are at their highest rates in decades. Loneliness can lead men to make some poor choices, which can ultimately lead to brokenness.

I believe for men to be better husbands, fathers and friends, we need to be surrounded by not just mere acquaintances, but by brothers who sharpen each other “as iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17).

The Bible is full of scriptures that tell us that we are all created for relationships. Even men. In Genesis 2:18 we read, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” While often shared at wedding ceremonies, this verse actually speaks about our need for companionship. Jesus himself modeled friendship, calling his disciples “friends” (John 15:15).

For Christian men, friendships should not be a distraction from our faith but a cornerstone of it. Men, we need to be surrounded by other Christian men offering accountability and encouragement.

Yet men often pursue other gods—careers, social status, or some type of hobby before seeking out true friendships.

True friendship are a beautiful gift and I believe, an important part of living a life that honors God. In Proverbs 18:24, we read those life changing words “a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” a bond that mirrors Christ’s sacrificial love. Such friendships require intentionality and spending quality time together. And not being afraid to leave the shallow end of conversations and dive into deep, sometimes hard conversations. True brotherhood is also about laughing together and enjoying life.

Men of God, the stakes are high. Loneliness and brokenness are stealing our peace, our joy and our witness. But I believe true brotherhood, rooted in God’s love, can restore each of us. ~OC

0

Created for Community

Today’s a new day! God created us for community. Being part of a community allows us to love and support others walking through this journey called life. Being part of a community allows us to celebrate moments of triumphs and hold friends a little closer when heartaches hits those in our community. Being part of a community makes life a bit easier. But we cannot be part of a community if we do not seek one out.

Spoiler Alert! We cannot do life alone. Being surrounded by a supportive community is healthy in so many different ways. I have a small, but solid group of friends I can confide in when I struggle. A group of friends I can celebrate with during the good times. A group of friends that check in with me on a regular basis. There is great comfort being surrounded by community. Seek one out. ~OC

0

Take a Moment

Today’s a New Day! Here is a challenge for the day.

Take a moment to just stop and take a deep breath.

Take a moment to thank God for the air in your lungs.

Take a moment to count your blessings and remember the number of blessings doesn’t matter. Embrace every blessing. Big or small.

Take a moment to look back on your life and see how far God has brought you.

Take a moment to just stop and take in God’s amazing creation.

Take a moment to capture all the blessings around you.

Today, just take a moment. ~OC

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑