Tag: Trust

Embrace Your “Can’t”

Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.

In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.

For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.

1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:

The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.

Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.

Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”

2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:

Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.

I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.

If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.

This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.

It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.

3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.

4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”

Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:

1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.

2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.

3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.

4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.

5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.

6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.

7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.

8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise

9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.

10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.

Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”

1. Pray

2. Journal

3. Reach out to family/friends

4. Reach out for professional help if needed

Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Embrace the Detours

Good Morning! Today’s a new day! This time 21 years ago, I was arriving at the hospital to have a golfball sized cancerous tumor removed from my chest. A lot of memories from that day. My mom and mom-in-love coming to take care of Laura and I. Family/friends hanging out at the hospital to pray and support Laura. The power going out at the hospital right before surgery. God giving me a vision during surgery that I would start running marathons and sharing my story (I was blessed to run 350 marathons). The doctor telling me that the team had gotten all of the tumor. Jesus was in the mist of the whole thing. Thankful He has blessed me with 21 more adventurous crazy beautiful years. Twenty-One years ago today the Today’s A New Day! writings started. As I continue walking through health issues, I encourage everyone to embrace the detours of life. ~OC

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Transformed Nonconformist

Today’s a new day! Did you know there are 1,430 hate groups in the United States alone. Sadly, those numbers are growing. While many tend to be small, they have political power and want to see unrest across America.

Hate groups will continue to poison hearts, stir up violence, and polarize people in 2024 and beyond. So to gear up for these challenges, I reflected back on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s book Strength to Love. I encourage you to check it out.

The book is a fascinating read, but one of the phrases Dr. King used truly grabbed my attention. Dr. King calls us to be “Transformed Nonconformist” Here is the scripture that Dr. King used to come up with this beautiful term.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

Transformed nonconformists reject racism, discrimination, hatred and anything that tears our society apart and tries to divide us.

Transformed nonconformists break the chain reaction of evil by refusing to “fight fire with fire.”

Why? Because as Dr. King explains, “Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence… in a descending spiral of destruction” This is one of the main reasons for not responding in kind to evil. In the powerful words of Mahatma Ghandi, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

The second part of Romans 12 describes the divine reason we break the chain reaction of evil. The Scriptures command us to conquer hate through the power of love:

*Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (v. 14).

*Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone (v. 17).

*If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (v. 18).

*Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath (v. 19).

*If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… (v. 20).

*Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (v. 21).

These commands indicate that a transformed nonconformist is in fact a peacemaker. And these peacemakers break the chain reaction of evil – through suffering, absorbing pain and responding in love.  

Peacemaking is not for the faint of heart. Peacemaking demands an uncompromising rejection of the unloving ways of the world and a radical embrace of the enemy-loving way of Jesus.

I read an article once where a civil rights worker was asked how he was able to endure racial hatred and violence while working for justice. “The hatred coming at me in those fists and clubs was bouncing right off me back into the air, and it could just continue to spread like electricity. I decided not to fight back. I would let my body absorb that hatred, so that some of it would die in my body and not bounce back into the world. I now see that my job in the midst of evil is to make my body a grave for hate.”

Did you catch that last sentence? “Making my body a grave for hate.” That sounds scary. It is! That is why I chose to follow Jesus – the one who made his body a grave for hate, the one who rose from the grave, and the one who said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John 20:21).

I pray you will join me on this journey of Love over hate. ~OC

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Keep Soaring

Today’s a new day! I write this as another hurricane comes through Florida. A good majority of the state is still recovering from another hurricane that hit us just a few weeks ago. These back-to-back hurricanes got me to thinking.

One thing about the storms of life is they do not last forever. They come and go. It is the size of our faith in God that determines how we will make it through each storm we face. Overcoming the storms of life can be overwhelming at times. When going through the storms of life, our faith and focus should be on God, the author and the finisher of our faith, not our problems. Sometimes that is easier said than done. It is during the storms of life when our faith is tested.

The only way to overcome the storm is to face and confront it. Overcomers cannot afford to play hide and seek with challenges, but instead must choose to face and deal with them head on. The challenges we are facing are just for a short time. We can never allow them to rob us of our destiny. We can never give up on life, on our faith, on our family/friends, and on the important things in life. We must face the storms of life and trust God for a brighter future. God did not bring us this far to leave us. He has a purpose for our lives. The word of God says- But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 43:31. I do not know about you, but that gives me hope.

While all the other birds fly away from the storm with fear, an eagle spreads its mighty wings and uses the current to soar to greater heights. An eagle doesn’t run for safety during the storms, but rather, it takes advantage of it to soar to some higher spot. Storms need somebody who will not give up no matter how hard it is. During the storms, take advantage to pray harder and worship like never before. There are times when the storms of life hit us so hard, when the storms threaten to sweep away all that we have. I am talking about times when the storms take away our loved ones, when the storms take away our possessions. Those are the very times we need to stand up and face the storms head on. God is bigger than any storm we will ever face in life. To overcome the storms of life, we have to have faith which is bigger than the storms. Our life is not over until God says it is.

If we are going to overcome the storms of life, we must let go of certain things surrounding our lives. We have to let go of some people who are holding us back. We have to let go of all of our fears and doubts. We have to let go of everything that is weighing us down and soar to a higher spot. Leave gossipers to gossip, leave haters to hate. Overcomers do not have time to confront everyone who speaks against them. Those living without purpose have limited vision, but overcomers see beyond the storms. Your storm will not last forever. Keep soaring! ~OC

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Be A Champion!

Today’s a new day! God did not bring you this far to lose. Keep your head up and keep fighting. You are strong enough. God knew when he chose you, that nobody would run harder for him than you. When the enemy showed up at God’s door, and shared he wanted a fight, God needed someone on the frontline and he chose you. God didn’t choose you by accident. He chose you because he knew when things got tough you would not run away. No you would run to a the battle. No retreat. There is no quit in you. You have been through battles way tougher than anything the enemy could ever throw at you. And you continue to overcome. So stop complaining and step up! God has brought you through bigger battles than this. God will not settle for the world’s second best for you. You have to choose to step up and out for your God given purpose. Stop just passing through life. Every hater and naysayer will try to hold you down, but you are a child of God’s. So keep fighting. Never give up! Choose to be all that God created you to be. A Overcomer! Don’t stop running until you receive your prize. Anything standing in your way will be defeated. So get up and be the Champion God created you to be. Go get it! ~OC

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Joy!

Today’s a new day! Being chronically ill comes with a lot of ups and downs and a wide range of emotions. These emotions can be so strong and overwhelming at times. As you walk through the different stages of being chronically ill, you are faced with a lot of situations that you could never prepare for and those moments can make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Physical health affects your mental, emotional and spiritual health more than people would think.

When you are chronically ill, your life becomes a vicious cycle of intense symptoms and flares. This can leave you feeling completely hopeless and lost at times. But even at moments when it feels impossible to find joy, it is possible, even on the darkest days. Some days you have to search a little harder for that joy but it is always there. Joy looks different to everyone. As a chronic illness warrior it is so important that you surround yourself with joy because it is easy to lose hope of experiencing pure joy again.

I find joy in many ways in my life and I really make an effort to make those things a part of my daily living. One of the main ways that I find joy/happiness is by leaning into my faith. My faith has allowed me to overcome a lot of tough moments in this journey. I also surround myself with the love and support of my family and the few friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. A supportive group of people have the ability to turn my bad days into great days. I am so thankful for each of them because they not only provide peace/joy, they also give me so much hope. I also find joy and happiness in doing things I love such as: writing,listening to music and making memories with my bride.

The past month has been filled with more tough news regarding my health. Looking back on the past month, joy has still there even in the darkest days. Sometimes during hard times things become so overwhelming that we forget that even then we can still find joy in the little things. It is okay to have bad days but it is so important that everyday we challenge ourselves to stop and find happiness and joy. Joy always outweighs the bad and it is so important that we remind ourselves of that. Have a great day! ~OC

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Hope

Today’s a new day! There is a four-letter word that is woven into the fabric of our souls, and that word is HOPE. Having a purpose in life encourages self-determination. It all starts with a belief, an idea that can create a powerful purpose filled life.

The seed of hope is planted deep within each of us. If we water those seeds, amazing and beautiful things will be created. Hope creates motion, motion creates action, action creates results, results create achievement, achievement creates self-confidence, and self-confidence creates the mindset that we can and will achieve everything God desires for us.

Through hope, we can conquer our fears and turn a life of trials into a life of triumph, a mess into a message, fear into faith, and a test into a testimony. There are times our hope button can get stuck. Here is how I believe we can activate our stuck hope button.

We have to decide to change our mindset from selfish to selfless, from “poor me” to helping someone else who is walking through a major trial. Our selfless time engaged in someone else’s life battle could help kick-start hope within them and start a chain of of hope dealers. Hope is contagious!

How awesome would it be if we each lived a life of Helping One Person Everyday. Helping others succeed brings so much hope and meaning into our lives. How beautiful it is when we give of ourselves. It fills us up as well and provides us with the strength to conquer life’s challenges.

We all have the ability to share hope with those around us. It could be a smile, kind word, listening, or lending a helping hand.

It is never too late to start living a life of Hope. You never know the difference you can make in a person’s life. So today be bold, compassionate and loving. Share Hope. Help one person today. ~OC

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Faith Over Fear

Today’s a new day! The last few weeks have been a bit overwhelming for me. Dealing with multiple health issues and a new life changing diagnosis. In the midst of all the challenges, it would be easy to get discouraged….or stressed out….or worried….or afraid.

But the Bible has something to say about times like these – and as you might guess, it gives us some tools for overcoming the storms of life.

When life gets discouraging, we can look at the story of the Apostle Paul in the book of Acts and hopefully his trial will lift us out of any discouragement or fear that we might be walking through.

Paul knew what it was like to be in a storm – both literally and figuratively. He had been stoned and left for dead, whipped repeatedly for preaching the Gospel, was endlessly persecuted and experienced more than one setback.

One of those setbacks happened in Acts 27, when he was a prisoner being transported to Rome for trial. It was the wrong time of the year weather-wise for this trip, and Paul even prophesied to them, saying, “Men, I perceive that this voyage will end with disaster and much loss, not only of the cargo and ship, but also our lives” (Acts 27:10). But the captain of the ship decided to go anyway, and they sailed right into a major storm.

The Bible says they went days and days without seeing the sun or stars. For weeks they were tossed and slammed by the raging seas. Just reading through this story makes me a little queasy. In verse 20, we read that after so many days, all hope – even among these veteran sailors – was lost.

Have you ever been in a position where all hope seemed lost? Where despair and hopelessness got the best of you? That can be a devastating place to be. And the Apostle Paul was there because of the stubbornness of the crew. He had warned them about making the trip, but they went anyway.

But then, Paul stood up in the midst of that dark, hopeless situation and shouts, “Be of good cheer!”Unbelievable!

“Yet now I urge you to take heart, for there will be no loss of life among you, but only of the ship. For this very night there stood before me an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I worship, and he said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul; you must stand before Caesar. And behold, God has granted you all those who sail with you.’ So take heart, men, for I have faith in God that it will be exactly as I have been told.”
‭‭Acts‬ ‭27‬:‭22‬-‭25‬ ‭

What a crazy thing to say to people in the midst of a hopeless situation – “cheer up!” But Paul had hope where there was no hope. He knew he belonged to God. He heard the word of the Lord (v. 23) and knew he had the victory.

In the same way, we also have the word of the Lord — we have the Bible. We can do what Paul did in the midst of the storm – look to the word of God and cheer up.

The Apostle Paul chose to believe in the word of God more than he believed in the raging storm. Faith came by hearing, meditating on and remembering the word. We can do that today. For starters, read and meditate on (Mark 9:23, John 10:10, Philippians 4:6, 7).

When we do what the Apostle Paul did – focus in on God’s word in the midst of the storm, then faith comes, and we can see beyond the storm. We can imagine life beyond the dark clouds. We can use our storms of life to encourage everyone around us.

Today, I want to encourage you as you walk through the storms of life, do like the Apostle Paul – declare Faith over Fear. Today, be of good cheer! God wants us to be healed, have our needs met, to overcome the world and have peace. All things are possible to them that believe. Lean on those promises.

Today, as you walk through the storms of life, I pray Romans 15:13 over you: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Amen. ~OC
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Someday….

Today’s a new day!

Someday when the kids are grown…
Someday when I’m financially stable…
Someday when my life isn’t so crazy…
Someday when I feel like my family/ friends approve…

Someday when (fill in the blank with your reasons), I’ll follow this big dream that God has given me.

Sometimes God gives us a glimpse of what’s to come and we need to wait on His timing. We may have lessons to learn first. Or maybe there are things that need to be put in place before it’s time.

BUT..
When God says, “Do this…”, our only response should be to pray for guidance and obey.


Let me tell you a bit of my story…

I had been on my crazy beautiful health journey for several years when I began to feel very strongly that God had something more than just being a patient. That God could use me to pray for and encourage other patients walking through their own journey. I did not have the full picture at the time, but I knew that God had a beautiful plan for this journey.

As I spent more and more time in the hospital, doctor appointments and treatments, I began to see God using me and my story to reach other patients who were being overwhelmed by the day to day struggles of their health journey. Fellow patients were reaching out to me to share their stories and I was blessed to pray for them.

Over the past twenty-two years, I have been blessed to walk with many patients. I have watched some experience healing from their medical battle and I have seen some experience the ultimate healing by walking into the presence of God.

This amazing journey started with me looking past “Someday.” Someday when my health improves. Someday when I have all the answers. Someday when I am more qualified.

When God called me to walk with and help others walking through the medical world, I was not qualified, but I was willing. I did not have all the pieces to the puzzle, but I knew the One who did. All God wanted from me was a “Yes.”

“Yes” because God was so clear about my next step (He confirmed it in multiple ways) that I knew this was His will for me.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalms 119:105

I do not know what God is calling you to, but I encourage you to trust in Him with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. 

When God says, “Go!” You need to go. Even when it’s scary or doesn’t make sense to the world.

Being in step with God’s plan should always be our goal. It will not always be easy or seem “perfect” to us but we need to trust that He knows what He’s doing. Just keep leaning in and say yes. ~OC

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The Journey

Today’s a new day! Cancer, Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis Type 2 Diabetes (Steroid Induced) and Dementia. No person would ever want to be diagnosed with just one of these diseases. But ring the bell, chicken dinner, I have been diagnosed with all six. Thankfully, I have been cancer free for many years. But when faced with multiple diseases it does little good to sit around and complain about it. No, I have decided to run with it, embrace it and see where God takes this crazy beautiful health journey. ~OC

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