Tag: running

Embrace Your “Can’t”

Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.

In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.

For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.

1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:

The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.

Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.

Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”

2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:

Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.

I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.

If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.

This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.

It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.

3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.

4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”

Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:

1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.

2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.

3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.

4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.

5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.

6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.

7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.

8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise

9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.

10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.

Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”

1. Pray

2. Journal

3. Reach out to family/friends

4. Reach out for professional help if needed

Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Embrace the Detours

Good Morning! Today’s a new day! This time 21 years ago, I was arriving at the hospital to have a golfball sized cancerous tumor removed from my chest. A lot of memories from that day. My mom and mom-in-love coming to take care of Laura and I. Family/friends hanging out at the hospital to pray and support Laura. The power going out at the hospital right before surgery. God giving me a vision during surgery that I would start running marathons and sharing my story (I was blessed to run 350 marathons). The doctor telling me that the team had gotten all of the tumor. Jesus was in the mist of the whole thing. Thankful He has blessed me with 21 more adventurous crazy beautiful years. Twenty-One years ago today the Today’s A New Day! writings started. As I continue walking through health issues, I encourage everyone to embrace the detours of life. ~OC

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Some Lessons Learned

Today’s a new day! As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey for the past twenty-two years, I am often asked about the lessons I have learned along the journey. So here are just a few lessons learned along this crazy beautiful journey.

  1. Bring your pain to God don’t run from Him: When you run from God in seasons of challenge, all you’re left with is your own limited ability to cope with what you’re walking through. On the other hand, God invites us to draw near to him that we might experience his peace, healing, and closeness and this is what Scripture points us towards.

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18

When we bring our pain to God we recognize that there is a purpose and in time God who loves us unconditionally will reveal his divine purpose through it.

  1. Fill your life with God’s word and God’s people: How we respond to the trials of life is critical to how we process what’s happening and how healing will take place. If we treat physical sickness with the incorrect medication, not only will our sickness continue, but it could become worse.

That is why it’s so important to not fill our minds with wrong thoughts; like God is mad at me, God is not good, worse things are going to happen, etc. If we allow those negative thoughts in, we will struggle to experience the peace of God he promises to us in Scripture (Philippians 4:7).

But when we fill our life with God’s words and surround ourselves with people who speak hope and encouragement into our lives, our experience will be much healthier.

“How sweet your words taste to me; they are sweeter than honey.” Psalm 119:103

When we fill our minds with God’s Word, we are reminding ourselves of who our God is, what he’s like, and we replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of God.

  1. Don’t be filled with worry, overflow with worship: Something powerful happens when we actively choose to worship through our suffering. We are not denying reality, we are simply redirecting our posture from one of worry to one of worship.

Worship changes our perspective. Worship speaks about where our confidence and hope lives. Worship redirects our thinking. Worship places the results in God’s hands.

  1. Believe that God will turn your sorrow into great joy: One of the great challenges of our faith is realizing that God can use our pain for our good. Meaning that our biggest sorrows can result in our greatest joy. When you think about Jesus’ greatest sorrow – suffering the shame, punishment, and death for our sin, the result was great joy – the redemption of humanity and the opportunity for a relationship with the living God.

When I reflect on my long health journey, which has been filled with a lot of pain, suffering and loss, I am thankful I pressed into God’s presence and trusted his plan for my life. I have watched him use my health journey to strengthen and encourage others which has resulted in my own comfort and joy through this crazy beautiful health journey.

As you walk through your own suffering today or in the days to come, I pray you will hold on to these powerful promises from God:

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

As I continue to run this health battle, I am humbled that Jesus willingly suffered the greatest pain and death because He knew the end of the story and so do we. So keep leaning into the promises of God. ~OC

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When Life Knocks You Down

Today’s a new day! This has been a tough week for me mentally, physically emotionally and spiritually. I heard words from doctors this week that have not been promising. This week has made me press into my faith even more.

It’s easy to have faith when life is treating you well. When everything is working out. It’s much harder to have faith when you are facing challenges in your life. But that is exactly when you need to apply your faith. When you need to lean into your faith even deeper. Because faith is believing beyond the grime diagnosis from the doctors.

Faith is taking the first step.
Faith is jumping in the deep end and trusting everything will be okay.
It was easier to be positive back in the day, when I could lace up my running shoes and go for a 50 mile run. It’s much harder, much much harder when I have days where it’s hard to just walk across the living room without feeling like I have just run a marathon. Life was much easier when I could easily remember why I walked into another room. When my brain did not feel like I was in a constant fog. Living out our faith is so much easier when life is not so demanding. But that’s actually when we need faith the most.

We need faith and usually find faith when life is hard. On days, when we are fighting to just survive. Those are the days when we need faith the most. Because everything that means anything is worth the fight. Everything worth living for will require a real fight to achieve it. You and I cannot decide to quit half way through the race. We must run every step. Even when that next step is the hardest.

This crazy beautiful health journey has knocked me down a few times along the way. But I keep getting up. This week hit me like a severe cramp during a marathon. This week’s life changing diagnosis rocked my world. I was knocked down. I had to dig deep to get back up. But I did get back up. I didn’t stay down. My friend you need to keep getting back up when life knocks you down.

Here are 3 things I want to share about getting back up when life knocks you down.

1). Remember:
God still loves us and there are still many things to be thankful for.

We need to remember that God has given us many promises to hang onto. Check out Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, and Isaiah 40:31.

2). Connect:
The greatest temptation when we are feeling “down and out” is to isolate ourselves. We may feel embarrassed or lost about our current situation, or wonder if others will understand. We may think we can’t express how we are feeling. But the tough moments in life should connect us with God, our family and friends.

3). Pray:
We can pray that God will give us the opportunity to share what we are learning with someone else. As we begin to focus on others, we lose the grip of self-focus and all the negative feelings that can go along with it. Little by little, we will be planting seeds of a powerful life story we can tell some time in the future.

Here is a prayer that I hope helps as you walk through the tough days and keep getting back up:

Dear God, remind us that trials are to be expected. Help us keep our reactions under control and within Your will. Give us great strength to endure this trial in a way that is refining and transforming -for Your glory. ~OC

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No Masks

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I embrace my own brokenness. And through that brokenness, I walk in grace. The trials of life reinforce my need for God. I will continue to run in beautiful transparency without wearing a mask to hide the pain and scars of this crazy beautiful journey. To truly live out this journey being who I was created to be. ~OC

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Adversity

Today’s a new day! Are you currently walking through a storm? Maybe you just came out of a season of trials. We have all been in one of those seasons at some point in our lives. But as we deal with the different trials of life, I believe that God has placed within each of us, seeds of strength, resilience, and fortitude. We can tap into an unbeatable spirit to overcome the adversities of life.

As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey for the last 22 years, I have leaned on the word of God to help me navigate through the storms of life. I pray the following words will help and encourage you as you run your own life journey.

(1) We can run in God’s Presence. In Matthew 28:20, “I am with you always even to the end of the world. And in Isaiah 41:10, we can lean into this promise “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
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Even when we suffer adversity, we can know that we are in the presence of God. What a great encouragement and comfort to help us through those difficult times.

(2) We can learn from God’s Promises. The Psalmist affirmed that God would be with us. That he is “our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.” God promises help. Comfort. Hope. And in 1 Peter 5:7, we read “And I will care for you.” God feels our pain. He will supply our every need.

(3) We can lean on God’s Power. No matter what we are facing in life, the love and power of God is with us. Finite strength is undependable and expendable, but God’s infinite power is sufficient for every need. Indeed we are “kept by the power of God” (1 Peter 1:5)

(4) We can look for God’s Purpose. I promise you God’s purpose is not to make you miserable. The Apostle Paul said to “rejoice in the Lord” God does not send pain, problems and pressures. God is the giver of good gifts. “Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.” ~James‬ ‭1‬:‭18‬ ‭

So what is God’s purpose for us when we face adversity? That’s a big question. But for me, it has taught me to Walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) My season of adversity as made me stronger (James 1:2-3) I have learned to focus on the eternal plan in Jesus. (Ephesians 3:11) To claim victory through his love, grace and mercy. (Romans 8:30-31).

As we continue to run this race called life, we all will suffer moments of adversity. Sometimes we will experience extreme tragedy. Yet, whatever the trials, storms and tragedies we face, we can always walk in the hope, comfort, grace, strength and love of God. ~OC

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Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! In late 2002, I was diagnosed with several forms of crippling arthritis. I would spend nearly a year taking multiple experimental drugs to help fight the arthritis. Unfortunately, those medications did more damage than good. Fast forward to August 2003, I had a chest scan done after coughing up blood on my way home from work. That scan would change my life forever. A few weeks after the scan a biopsy would reveal that tumor sitting in my chest was cancerous. The results would change the way I live life forever. After having the tumor removed a short time later, I thought the worst was over. I had no idea that four years later I would be diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s. Of course my symptoms had shown up years before, but I never paid any attention to them. I blew it off as stress or fatigue. Then a few short years later, I would be diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. Maybe I should have started playing the lottery. Then about eight years later, I would be diagnosed with Gastroparesis. What are the odds? Well, some on my medical team have shared I am one in two billion. Where’s that winning lottery ticket?

Over these past twenty-two years, I have learned, and continue to learn, about living with persistent pain, near-constant fatigue and constant unsteadiness. I stress living, though I am also learning about dying. We’re all, always, dying-while-living and living while dying. My experiences with these multiple health issues simply make me more aware of death’s relentless work and also, mercifully, makes me more attentive to life’s beautiful gifts. Among them are:

The amazing gift of conversations, laughter, tears, prayers, encouragement and amazing times with family and friends.

The beautiful gift of music and books.

The beautiful gift of memories from my running days.

The beautiful gift of a call or visit from friends.

The amazing gift of sunrises and sunsets.

The gift of a quiet morning before the battle of another day begins.

The amazing gift of experiencing healing in so many different ways.

The gift of experiencing the many blessings of God.

The beautiful gift of hearing God speak to my spirit.

The gift of a quiet evening on the balcony with my bride.

The beautiful gift of almost 25 years with my bride.

The amazing gift of continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride.

The gift of outliving all the predictions of my death.

The gift of knowing God has everything under control.

In the time I have left (I am taking on the challenge to outlive the current prognosis), I intend to live close to the veil, at the threshold, and at the feet of the God upon whom angels descend and ascend. I hope to say what I hear, describe what I see, and offer what I receive because it is good, hopeful and healing. Every day, I choose to be The Man Who Refuses to Die and embrace the beautiful gifts of life. ~OC

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Soundtrack of My Life

Today’s a new day! I thought I would have a little fun with this post. How would my crazy beautiful journey sound if it was set to music?

As I open my eyes on this Beautiful Day, I Rise Up and thank God he always Stands By Me and I Raise a Hallelujah. With Every Little Step, I am Livin’ On a Prayer because these days my body Rattles. Some mornings I think about the Glory Days and remember my body was Born to Run, but today I Dream On because I have learned to Stand Tall and I choose to live life as a Overcomer. As I make my way around My House, I remember It Is Well With My Soul. As I think about Breakfast, I wish I was Hungry Like a Wolf. As I turn on the news, all I hear is Rumour Has It, and all this negativity is Killing Me Softly. Man, you gotta to Pray just to make it today. We all need to Come Together on this Yellow Brick Road and stop all this Jive Talkin’. All this Poison makes me get down on a Bended Knee and live with Gratitude at the Mention of Your Name. I stop and take a look at the Man In The Mirror and I think How Can We Mend A Broken Heart? But I will choose to live Like a Rock because that’s My Prerogative. Some days I just enjoy Rainy Days and Mondays. But Ain’t Nobody going to steal my Joy and I am going to Shake It Up and embrace the Good Times. I will continue to live in Amazing Grace. I wanna live With Arms Wide Open. I am a little Older, but thankfully I am Still Standing and feel Forever Young.

So today, be careful of Careless Whispers and Don’t Let The Sun Go Down without showing some Forgiveness. Today Relax, Because He Lives and took care of everything on The Old Rugged Cross. ~OC

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Seasons

Today’s a new day! This journey called life is made up of many seasons
some seasons slip away, never to be seen again while other seasons look like they’re slipping away, but they have only just begun

Like the dim light on the road ahead on an evening run, we only get a glimpse of the secrets of the world
May never pass this way again

Noises all around us
the seasons come and go
May never pass this way again

The dreams we dream keep us moving forward in the difficult seasons of life, those dreams keep us flying like an eagle on a warm summer breeze
May never pass this way again

Like Dr. King in the olden days
we must gather all our courage and live out our dreams
May never pass this way again

So cast away your fears
Our dreams will ebb and flow
different seasons will come and go
May never pass this way again

I wanna laugh with family and friends
I wanna cry and not waste a tear
I wanna dream and live in the moment
May never pass this way again

I wanna dance with my bride on a cool summer night to the sounds of the 80’s in the background
I wanna drive down the highway with adventure in my heart and some Motown playing on the radio
May never pass this way again

On those tough days when my body is failing me, I want to look in the mirror and not see a life of washed out dreams, on those days when it’s hard to breathe, I wanna hear Journey in the background reminding me Don’t Stop Believing
May never pass this way again

As the season change, I’m still standing, maybe not better than before, but living as an Overcomer
I wanna keep dancing in the light
May never pass this way again. ~OC

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Mile Marker Moments

Today’s a new day! I will never forget Sunday November 14, 2004. A little over a year after being diagnosed with cancer and having my chest cracked open to remove a golf ball tumor, I completed my very first half marathon on that day. I was blessed that so many friends and family members were at the finish line to help Laura and I celebrate. What a memorable day. My running days gave me so many amazing memories.

I am incredibly thankful for what I call “Mile Marker Moments.” What are Mile Marker Moments? They are moments in life where everything hits the wall. A moment where you have to decide if you continue on or if you call for a ride to the finish line. During my marathon days, my Mile Marker Moment came at mile 19. My body was done. The music on my playlist and the cheers from the crowd were just not enough. At mile 19, I always wanted to throw in the towel. But in that moment, God would fill my body and mind with amazing energy. The strength to get through all the pain and doubts, to continue on and run strong through the finish line. As much as I loved crossing that finish line, the real lessons were learned at mile 19. I truly value the Mile Marker Moments of life.

Mile Marker Moments teach us:
My last year running marathons was extremely tough. My body was really starting to shut down and every training run and marathon was filled with pain. My times had went from somewhat respectable to something far from respectable. Running was no longer easy for me. But after each marathon that year, I would spend time reflecting on the race and my results. I would always walk away with a teachable moment. It was on me to take the time to embrace those lessons and learn from them. Just like mile 19 of a marathon, we have to commit to embracing the valuable lessons of life instead of quitting.

Mile Marker Moments challenge us:
During that last year of running marathons, there were times I really hated running. The pain, the slow pace were overwhelming at times. Here I was the Blessed Overcomer of running, the guy whose story for some reason was encouraging others and I was struggling. But I challenged myself to do better. That can be difficult when your body is betraying you. During those low moments, I would use every race to challenge myself to learn and hopefully do better the next race. We need to use the mile marker moments of life to fuel us for the next opportunity.

Mile Marker Moments shape us: All the tough moments in running and life have strengthened my faith. God has used all of those Mile Marker Moments, to make me a better and stronger person. The Mile Marker Moments of my crazy beautiful health journey remind me that even in my darkest moments, God is still in control. The Mile Marker Moments of my life have blessed me with the opportunity to have some amazing conversations with people dealing with their own mile marker moments. During those conversations, I encourage people to let those mile marker moments help shape them, but not become their identity.

So as you face your own Mile Marker Moments, allow them to reveal God’s purpose for your life. Let them remind you to never give up and keep your eyes on the finish line. ~OC

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