There will be friends that stick close and support you during the storms of life. There will be people who will call themselves your friend, but will disappear during the tough times. Do not dwell on those that walked away. Take the time to be thankful for those that continue to walk with you during the storms and rejoice with you during the victories. ~OC

During my crazy/beautiful health journey, I have been told on numerous occasions, “You don’t look or act sick.” I have two thoughts on this statement.

For me, this statement gives me an opportunity to share about a prayer God has continued to answer during my crazy/beautiful health journey. Let me explain.

When I got sick again in 2009, I prayed that God would help me never look or act sick. I know that sounds like a crazy prayer when you are dealing with several life threatening health issues. But that was my prayer. During some of my worst days, I still laugh when people tell me, “You don’t look or act sick.” It is another opportunity to share what God is doing in my life. I am thankful God decided to answer a crazy, little prayer years ago.

With that said, there is another side to the “You don’t look sick” comment. It is one that many of my fellow patients deal with each day. The comment is actually insulting. Let me explain.

When you tell someone they don’t look sick, they translate that to “You must be faking or it’s really not that bad”. I have actually had people asked me if I was faking my health issues. Yes, I love spending hours at the doctors offices and days in the hospital. Also, what do sick people look like? News flash, not all sick people look alike.

People dealing with chronic or terminal illness have good days and bad days. A person can look fine on the outside, but is dealing with extreme pain inside. Most of us with long term health issues have learned to put on our “Happy Face.” We feel obligated to do so. We need to go to work, take care of our families, and try to live our best lives. Plus, do people really want to hear the truth about how a sick person is actually doing? My experience in that area is mixed. I am blessed by the family members and friends who actually want to know the truth. Do not let those caring folks go.

So what should you say? Here are some better options.

How are you truly feeling today?

How can I help?

I am sorry your not feeling well.

I am sure that sucks.

How can I pray for you? Then actually pray for that person.

This post is not about gaining your sympathy. I neither want or need it. My hope is that you will gain insight from reading this post. A lot of people are dealing with invisible health issues, but their pain is real. ~OC

I am always impressed how my wife Laura, has so many close friendships. This week, she has plans almost everyday with some of her friends. I often wonder why these types of friendships do not come as easily for men.

I remember in high school and college, it appeared easier as a guy to make friends. Then adulthood hit and for some reason, it became tougher for men to maintain real friendships.

Sadly, many men are taught or believe they should not talk about personal issues with other men. Over the years, I believe this has caused more casual friendships between men. I have heard many stories of men trying to build stronger friendships with other men by taking time to text/call them, attending Bible studies, and taking other steps to build true friendships. Unfortunately, most of these steps have not resulted in stronger friendships. I would encourage those men to continue making the effort.

It appears most married men depend on their wives to develop and maintain friendships with other couples. That is not fair to the wives. How about the single guy or the husband whose wife is an introvert? How do they go about building true friendships with other men?

So here is my challenge men. We have to work harder to establish and maintain strong friendships with other men. For some men, this will be easy. You are already doing it. Keep doing it! For other men, this will be a tougher challenge. You are not built to reach out and share with other men. You will need to step out of your comfort zone. Take the risk and do it. I cannot promise you might feel rejected at times. The process may not be easy. However, I believe it is worth it.

So I encourage men to get connected in 2019. That might mean joining a club, sports team, Bible study or making a commitment to have dinner with some guy friends  weekly or monthly. With so many friends spread out across the world, you could have a group phone call. How about really getting out of your comfort zone and planning a road trip with a group of guys? I’m game! How about you?

So the challenge in 2019, is for men to take real steps in forming real friendships with other men. Friendships are great for our health and general well-being. I will continue to reach out to other men to build true friendships. Who is willing to take this challenge with me? ~OC

From 2004 until 2009, I was a runner. I started running after being diagnosed with cancer and having open-heart surgery to remove a tumor. I had run cross country in high school, but had not run since. Let’s just say that was a very long break. From the minute I started running again in 2004, I enjoyed every minute.

In 2009, after my health issues returned, I had to hang up my running shoes. I still buy a pair of running shoes once or twice a year. My love for running has never wavered. I still talk about running. I still read about running. I still think about running. Once a runner, always a runner.

I have come to realize I will never be able to run again. After some time, I am at peace with that truth. But like I shared above, I still love running. So in 2019, I would love the opportunity to help coach and encourage other runners. I am not looking for a paid position. I am looking for the opportunity to help encourage an individual or team to reach their goals. Just to be back in the running community would be a blessing.

If anyone is interested in talking with me about this opportunity, feel free to contact me. It would be my honor to help you or your team achieve your running and life goals. ~OC

Today is the first day of 2019. Can you believe it? A new year. A new start. New challenges. New blessings. How exciting! Here are some of my prayers for this new year.

*Dear God, please continue to work through me and strengthen my walk with you.

*Dear God, help me to be a better husband.

*Dear God, help me to be a better friend.

*Dear God, help me love and serve my church and all the people you have placed there.

*Dear God, help me never miss the beautiful interruptions you have for me.

*Dear God, help me help others.

*Dear God, help me be more concerned about your opinion and less about the world’s opinions.

*Dear God, help me to be a better encourager.

*Dear God, help me make a difference for you right where you have me planted.

*Dear God, help me be a change maker.

*Dear God, help me love others more this year.

*Dear God, help me to continue to grow outside of my comfort zone.

*Dear God, help me to never put you in a box.

*Dear God, give me the strength and wisdom to live the life you have created for me.

*Dear God, help me to be okay when your answer is no or not yet.

*Dear God, I thank you for this new year and dedicate it to you. May you be glorified in all that I do and say. ~OC

A man faces life-threatening illnesses.

A man decides to run marathons to share his story.

A man decides to run a 1,000 miles in one year to encourage others.

A man goes from running marathons to fighting for his life.

Sound like an interesting story? It’s my story.

If you or your organization are interested in hearing more about my story in 2019, contact me at http://www.theblessedovercomer.org and click on the Contact Page or the Booking Information Page. I look forward to hearing from you. ~OC

Today’s a new day! As we close out another year, several people have inquired about my health and healing journey. My health continues to be an issue and that is okay. I am totally at peace with my current situation. I have experienced physical healing in several areas of my life, but I continue to struggle with new health challenges.

During this long, crazy/beautiful health journey, I have not been gripped with anger, bitterness or depression. I cannot count how many times doctors have wondered how I am not depressed. The answer is, I have truly been blessed by God during this journey. He has protected me from so many issues. I am thankful.

Also during this journey, my wife, Laura, and I have not dealt with many marital problems. We have actually gotten closer during this medical storm. This journey has not been easy on Laura. She went from being a newlywed to a full time caregiver early in our marriage. But we decided before we got married and after I got sick, that we would always have open and honest communications. That has definitely helped. Also, our marriage is built on our relationship with God. That has never wavered.

So I may never experience complete physical healing on this side of heaven, I have definitely experienced healing in many different ways. ~OC

In just a few hours, we will say goodbye to another year. Here are some things I suggest we leave in the past.

*Drama

*Hate

*Racism

*Unforgiveness

*Jealousy

*Grudges

*Unkind Words

*Toxic Relationships

*Absurd Expectations

*Comparing Yourself to Others

*Excuses

*Wearing “Busy” As a Badge of Honor

*Unhealthy Habits

I pray your New Year is full of peace, love, opportunities, adventures and beautiful moments. Feel free to add to the list. ~OC

Today’s a new day! If I could do 50 marathons in 50 states in 2019, I could accomplish another 1,000 miles in one year. Of course, this time around I would need someone to push me in a wheelchair. Who is up for the challenge? ~OC

What a year it has been. We have all faced a lot this year. We all dealt with some challenges this year. Some faced the death of a loved one. Some faced the end of a relationship. Some faced health issues. Some faced hurricanes, flooding and fires. No one made it through the year unscathed. Of course there were some great moments this past year. Some saw the birth of a child or grandchild. Some started a new career. Some found new friendships. Some received some amazing health news. Some found love. Some found their purpose in life.

As we prepare for a new year, I encourage you to pause for a moment. Slow down and take some time to reflect on this year. Go for a walk. Call a loved one. Write down a gratitude list. Spend time in prayer. Think about who you are and what you hope to be this coming year. Press pause and just breathe. ~OC