Along this journey called life, we all deal with fear. Fear can hit us during what we thought would be a routine doctors appointment. Fear can hit us when test result comes back with more questions than answers. Fear can hit us when we watch the news or scroll through social media. We have all experienced fear in our lives.
Back in 2003, one of my doctors called me early one morning and shared he needed to see me right away. Oh, make sure you bring your wife. A little fear hit me at that moment. Later when the doctor shared I had a tumor, the fear grew a little deeper. Fear, Worry and Anxiety. My wife and I experienced all those feelings sitting in that doctors office.
A few weeks later a biopsy revealed the tumor was the size of golfball. A few weeks after that, surgery revealed the tumor was cancerous. Once again, Fear, Worry and Anxiety smacked me in the face. Things seemed overwhelming at that point.
Then something amazing happened. As I laid in ICU hooked up to several machines, God took away the fear, worry and anxiety. Those feelings were replaced by peace, calmness and even joy. Yes, joy. What changed?
God reminded me of the week long fast I had done a year earlier during a missions trip. He shared the reason I had fasted was to prepare me for this very moment. Peace flooded my room and heart at that moment. At that moment, I completely turned my heart toward Jesus and trusted Him to walk me through this journey.
Even though I had been filled with fear, anxiety and worry, Jesus was right there with me. He welcomed me into His presence, even as I was filled with fear. He never abandoned me in my time of need.
During that moment, I still had to deal with life as a cancer patient. But that unknown did not overwhelm me anymore. Jesus reminded me that He was bigger than any health issue I would ever face. I am thankful, I did not know my future would be full of more health issues, test, multiple doctors appointments and hospital stays. No, at that moment I was just filled with peace.
Here I am in 2019, still fighting multiple health issues. Still fighting for my life every day. Still living in the unknown regarding my health. But I am still experiencing that same peace and joy, I experienced in that ICU room so many years ago. Knowing that Jesus is still bigger than anything life throws at me. Still living life with a thankful heart. ~OC